Stop, stop, stop! I'm not driving this car! This isn't a car headed for kindergarten—it's headed for the maternal and child health clinic! I want out! Stop the car, now!
But Sieg had welded the doors shut. "Child."
It was over.
It was fucking over.
"Senior, is there anything else you have to explain?"
Shirou paused, then explained, "Sakura, listen to me. Sieg is only fifteen years old—no, fifteen days old. Think about it. Am I really that depraved? Could I possibly lay a hand on a child who's only been alive for fifteen days—no, an infant? Of course not, right?"
"It must have been Caules' influence before! She must have secretly learned how to get around the internet firewall. Once we get out, I'll talk to Lord El-Melloi II and have him deal with Caules..."
"No, that isn't important. I heard from Mrs. Irisviel that she gave birth to Illya when she was only a year old."
Shirou fell silent again for a moment. "Then what am I supposed to do? My dad's a perverted loli-con. I can't stop him either!"
"So that means everyone in the Shirou family is a perverted loli-con? You are, and so is Uncle."
"But there's no way I'd do something like my dad did. Don't worry! Really!" Shirou said bitterly. "I swear, okay? I'll put it in writing!"
"But Senior, our original agreement only had one condition. That was—whether Sieg likes you."
Shirou looked at Sakura, then at Gilgamesh beside her, who was already wildly cheering Sakura on.
Fuck me.
"I knew it all along. There's no way Sieg wouldn't like you," Sakura said softly. "After all, Senior is so charming."
Sakura, was this part of your plan too?
Shirou looked again at the utterly bewildered Sieg.
Now that things had come to