Shirou's Grand Heroic Saga

"I will not yield! Don't even think about making me surrender! I'd rather starve to death and be nailed into my coffin than eat that!"

A short while later, Lancer was slumped over the table…

"Thank you for the meal…"

Me, Lancer, a salted fish, pay up. Is that about right?

No, not a salted fish, but rather I've reached a new level, that of a dead fish, perhaps?

Lancer felt he had nothing left to fear.

"Rejoice, lancer. This will be enough calories for your entire day, and I even added some magical ingredients."

"Priest, how did you manage to make Lancer-kun surrender?" Sakura asked curiously.

"It was nothing, I just spoke with him about his friends," Kirei finished the remaining Mapo Tofu in his bowl, savoring the wonderful sensation of the lingering spiciness stimulating his brain.

"Senpai, I still don't understand."

"Sakura, you don't need to understand. It's basically that a very terrible person used his priestly duties to blackmail Lancer."

Sakura looked at the Priest, not expecting that this person who seemed so terrible was also terrible at his core.

"Likewise, Kiritsugu's son."

"Not at all, the joyous Priest."

"Hahahahahaha."

"Gagagagaga."

Why is this happening? Why am I so skilled at this! How did I learn to evade taxes!

If I keep evading taxes like this, I'll be arrested by the tax bureau! Don't you understand!

But the feeling of evading taxes is truly wonderful.

I just can't stop.

………………

Kirei finished his prayers and left. Come to think of it, there were now three graves here.

Guan Yu and Mo Ye were truly useful for digging, not just because of their sharp blades, but also because of their large surface area, making digging very easy for Shirou.

"So, is this peace?" Lancer lit a cigarette and blew out a smoke ring. "I can finally leave with peace of mind."

"Have you thought about when you want to have a satisfying battle, Lancer?"

Shirou, ignoring Lancer's astonished gaze, said this. He would wholeheartedly repay anyone who helped him, and he would definitely dig a bigger pit to bury those who tried to trick him.

He had even become adept at selling out his allies.

"You treated me like a tool, and I couldn't refuse your kindness, but you still did it. I acknowledge you, as Cú Chulainn. But not today."

Lancer quietly turned his head away, feeling the Mapo Tofu churning in his stomach.

Maron is too terrifying, I can never eat it again. For my last meal, I must have Archer, with his Housekeeping EX, make me something delicious.