A Paper Tiger

Bulma asked, "When is that Oolong coming?"

A villager said, "Oolong said he'd come at noon today. He told Uncle's daughter to be ready with her dowry—he won't stay long, just take her and leave... But he's already taken several girls from the village before, and no one knows if they're alive or dead. It's almost noon now, and everyone's scared their daughter might be the next one he sets his sights on, so they're all staying indoors with their doors shut."

The girl's father looked at Sun Mo and begged, "Warrior, please, you have to defeat Oolong. My daughter is terrified of him, she doesn't want to be taken away by him... That, that kind of scumbag—it's best to just kill him outright."

Before Sun Mo could answer, another villager cut in, "No, no, you can't kill him here. We have to find out where Oolong's lair is, or else my daughter will never be found..." A few other villagers chimed in, "Th-that's right, my daughter was taken a long time ago too. Before you beat Oolong, you have to find his lair first..."

The little girl heard their argument, and it seemed like they still wanted her to be the bait. She was almost in tears from fear. She tugged at her father's sleeve and pleaded, "Daddy, I don't want to be taken away, I'm scared, boohoo..."

The Farmer hugged his daughter tightly, heart aching, as if this might be the last time he ever saw her. After all, Sun Mo, though tall and strong-looking, was still just an ordinary human in build. But Oolong was a monster—towering, fierce, like a small mountain. None of the villagers had the courage to resist.

Bulma saw how terrified the little girl was and had a sudden idea. She said, "She doesn't have to come along. I have a way to find his lair."

"Really?" The girl said excitedly, "Big sister, you really have a way?" Everyone turned to look at Bulma.

Bulma sized up Goku, then looked at the little girl and said, "Go find one of your pretty dresses."

The girl was taken aback. "My dress?"

Bulma nodded. "Yes, hurry."

A moment later, the girl brought back a little skirt outfit. Bulma made Goku put it on.

Goku wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Bulma, why do I have to wear this flimsy, flappy thing? It's so uncomfortable..."

Bulma said, "No choice, you're the right height! Listen up, you're going to pretend to be this girl, go back with Oolong like it's no big deal, and then take him out in his lair."

Goku nodded. "Alright, got it!"

A moment later, the ground trembled.

Someone shouted, "Oolong's here!"

The villagers all fled back into their houses, and the street was empty in an instant. Only the disguised Son Goku remained.

Bulma called out before shutting the door, "Goku, make sure you stick to the plan, I'm counting on you!"

Goku grumbled, "What a pain, why not just take him out in one move!" He pressed a hand to his lower belly and said, "Ah, I really gotta pee!"

Goku looked around, found some bushes, dropped his pants, and started to pee.

Right then, Oolong, transformed into a very tall man, walked up behind Goku. "Hehehe, I've come to pick you up, you cute little girl!"

But when he saw his eagerly awaited little bride-to-be peeing a three-foot-high arc into the wind, he couldn't help shouting, "Ahhh, why do you have that thing growing on you..."

Goku hadn't even finished peeing yet, but he turned his head to look at him.

Their eyes met. Oolong was horrified. "Bastard, you dared to trick me! You're not the little girl from yesterday!"

"Transform!"

In an instant, Oolong transformed into a massive Bull.

"Hey, you've pissed me off—I'm terrifying, I'm seriously strong!"

Wukong was still peeing, couldn't deal with him until he was done.

Seeing Wukong get caught out immediately, Bulma covered her forehead and said, "Wukong's such an idiot, he blew it the second he met Oolong."

The girl panicked, "Oh no, the plan failed, and now Oolong's angry—what do we do..."

The Farmer realized Bulma was definitely the better-looking one and quickly came up with a bright idea.

He grabbed his daughter's hand and said, "Don't worry, that big sister's plan failed, so she'll take your place as the bride."

Bulma fumed, "Hey, don't go making decisions for me—when did I ever say that?"

Sun Mo glanced at the Farmer's selfish face, shook his head calmly.

Just a little game of make-believe, and it had already exposed raw human nature.

Sure enough, only making yourself strong enough was the real truth.

With Bulma's plan a bust, she hurriedly shouted through the door gap, "Wukong, change of plans.

Take down Oolong fast and squeeze his lair's location out of him."

Wukong smirked, shook off the last drops, and pulled up his pants.

"Why didn't you say so from the start!"

With that, he ripped off his shirt, grabbed the Power Pole, and got ready to go.

Oolong stumbled back in shock, blustering, "You—you little brat, you're not running? You're not scared of dying?"

Son Goku struck a starting pose and said, "Hmph, I'm strong—bring it on!"

Facing a tough nut for the first time, Oolong broke out in a cold sweat.

His mind raced, and he instantly transformed into an even bigger steel giant, holding a bowl of hot noodle soup in one hand.

Wukong blinked.

"Huh, another transformation?"

Oolong roared with laughter, "Hahaha, how about that? Scared now?"

"Surrender already, or I'll dunk you in this hot soup and eat you!"

Seeing Oolong's giant form, ten times bigger than Wukong, Bulma immediately turned to Sun Mo.

"The plan's already failed—what are you still gawking at? Get out there and help kill him!"

Before Sun Mo could explain, Bulma kicked him out the door.

Sun Mo's face was covered in black lines.

Oolong was still trying to intimidate Wukong.

Sun Mo strode right up and said impatiently, "Wukong, why are you wasting words on this weakling?"

Then he threw a light punch at Oolong, the force whistling through the air.

"Bam!" The giant Oolong crashed to the ground, kicking up a cloud of dust.

When the dust cleared, only a little pig lay quietly on the ground.

Wukong blinked in surprise.

"So this is Oolong?"

Sun Mo nodded, "What else did you think?"

"No wonder he kept telling me to surrender but never made a move—he's this weak..."

Bulma walked out of the house.

"So Oolong's real form is just a little pig!"

She remembered Sun Mo telling her earlier that she could beat Oolong without his help, and it all clicked.

But seeing her own footprint on Sun Mo's clothes, Bulma said sheepishly, "Honey, sorry about that—I was a bit hotheaded..."

With Oolong down, the villagers filed out of their houses too.

"So this guy was all bark and no bite!"

"We've been fooled by his scary appearance all along..."

Oolong groggily woke up, saw the furious villagers, and his attitude from the past few months did a complete 180.

"Y-you... what are you doing..."

A burly man stomped over to Oolong, picked him up like a chick.

"You bastard, give me back my daughter, and the dowry I saved for twenty years!"

Other villagers chimed in.

"Yeah, I don't have a daughter, but he still made me hand over plenty of money!"

"Oolong, give me back the cash you extorted!"

In an instant, several villagers piled on.

"H-help, somebody help..."