"Last night!" Lu Jiuyuan said calmly. "I was with Jin Ping'er!"
Lu Xueqi's fingers went rigid.
The hand pressed against his neck froze in place, completely motionless.
Her face turned deathly pale in an instant—not with anger, but with a deeper pallor that seemed to seep from her very bones.
The light in her eyes slowly dimmed, like a lamp being turned down one notch at a time.
Sorrow and disappointment tangled together, sinking to the depths of her eyes.
She withdrew her hand and took a step back.
Then another. Her lips moved as if she wanted to say something, but in the end, she said nothing. She turned away from him, her back to him.
"Xueqi—"
"Don't touch me."
Her voice was cold as ice.
Lu Jiuyuan ignored her and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her from behind.
Lu Xueqi stiffened, then began to struggle. Her elbow struck his chest, her foot stamped on his instep, and her fingers pried at the hand he had clasped around her waist.
"Let go of me."
"No."
"Lu Jiuyuan, let go of me!"
Her voice was full of icy anger as she called him by his full name.
Lu Jiuyuan tightened his arms and held her even more firmly.
Her back pressed against his chest. He could feel her trembling like a flower petal battered by a storm.
"Xueqi, listen to me."
"I don't want to listen." Lu Xueqi's voice trembled. "Let go of me."
"I know you're angry with me."
"I'm not angry." Her voice suddenly went calm, as still as dead water. "I just think I'm ridiculous."
Lu Jiuyuan's arms stiffened for a moment. She turned her face away so he couldn't see her expression, but he felt something warm drip onto the back of his hand.
"Xueqi!!!"
"I've waited for you for a long time." Lu Xueqi's voice was so soft it sounded as if she were speaking to herself. "You stood up for me in Yuqing Hall, and I was so happy I couldn't sleep all night. You held my hand by Yueya Lake, and I..."
Her voice caught. Her throat bobbed slightly as she swallowed back the sob.
"I thought I was the only one in your heart."
Lu Jiuyuan turned her around to face him.
Lu Xueqi's eyes were red, and tiny glimmers of moisture clung to her lashes. But there were no tear tracks on her face. She had swallowed all her tears rather than cry in front of him.
"Xueqi, I'm sorry."
Lu Xueqi turned her face away and wouldn't look at him.
"I know saying I'm sorry won't help." Lu Jiuyuan cupped her face, his thumb gently brushing her reddened eyes. "But I mean it. I won't make excuses for what happened last night or shirk the blame. I did it, and I'll own it."
Lu Xueqi's lashes quivered, but she said nothing.
"But my feelings for you have never changed." His voice was low, low enough for only her to hear. "I really did hold your hand by Yueya Lake. I really did say in that room that you were the most beautiful wife.
"When you fell asleep with your head on my shoulder last night, I looked at your face and thought that meeting you was the greatest blessing in my life."
Lu Xueqi's lips moved as if she wanted to speak, but in the end, no sound came out.
"I wronged you over Jin Ping'er." Lu Jiuyuan paused, his voice gentle. "But I won't say I'll never see her again, because that would be a lie.
"I don't want to lie to you, Xueqi.
"I don't want to tell you even a single lie."
Lu Xueqi finally raised her head and looked at him.
Her eyes were red and glistening, like Xiaozhu Peak after the rain, shrouded in mist and impossible to see clearly.
"Then tell me!" Her voice trembled slightly. "In your heart, which of us matters more—me or her?"
Lu Jiuyuan looked at her for a long time.
The mountain wind whipped his robes, and her long hair fluttered across his fingers.
"You." Lu Jiuyuan gazed at her tenderly. "From beginning to end, it's always been you."
Lu Xueqi stared into his eyes, as if trying to make sure he wasn't lying.
She watched him for a long time—until the wind died down, the leaves in the trees stopped rustling, and an unknown bird called out in the distance, its song long and clear.
Lu Xueqi lowered her head and buried her face against his chest.
"I hate you." Her voice was muffled and nasal.
"Mm."
"I really hate you."
"Mm."
"You're a bastard."
"Mm."
Lu Xueqi raised her hand and struck his chest once. It wasn't hard, more like she was venting her feelings—or making sure he was really there.
Then she went still, leaning against him like a rain-soaked cat that had finally found somewhere to shelter.
Lu Jiuyuan held her, his chin resting on the crown of her head. He said nothing.
A long time passed—until she stopped trembling in his arms, until her breathing steadied, until the bird in the distance called out again.
"Senior Brother." Lu Xueqi's voice was soft.
"Mm."
"Don't lie to me again."
"All right."
"No matter what happens, tell me."
"All right."
"Don't keep things from me."
"All right."
"Don't..." Lu Xueqi paused, her voice even softer. "Don't spend all your time with her and none with me."
Lu Jiuyuan looked down at her. She had buried her face against his chest and refused to look up.
He chuckled softly. Lu Xueqi heard him and struck his chest again.
"What are you laughing at?"
"You're cute."
"I'm not cute." Her voice was muffled. "You're laughing at me."
"I'm not." Lu Jiuyuan lifted her face from his chest and made her look at him. "Xueqi, I'll remember every word you said.
"I won't lie to you or hide things from you, and I'll spend time with you."
Lu Xueqi looked into his eyes. They held sincerity and tenderness, along with something else she couldn't quite put into words.
She said nothing and turned her face away, the tips of her ears red.
Looking at that flush, Lu Jiuyuan's heart melted.
He lowered his head and kissed her.
Lu Xueqi stiffened for an instant, then began to struggle—not as desperately as before, but more lightly, almost half-heartedly, as if to say, "I'm still mad at you. Don't think this is enough to make it up to me."
He didn't stop.
One hand held her waist while the other supported the back of her head, keeping her close.
Her resistance grew weaker and weaker until it finally stopped altogether.
Lu Xueqi clutched the front of his robe so tightly, as if afraid he might run away.
Her lashes trembled, her breathing trembled, even her heartbeat seemed to tremble.
But she no longer turned her lips away. Slowly, tentatively, and carefully, she began to respond to his kiss.
The kiss lasted a long time.
As it went on, Lu Xueqi's emotions gradually changed.
She released his robe and slowly relaxed her fingers, resting her hand against his chest as she felt his heart beating strongly beneath it.
After a long while, she pushed him away and stepped back.
Her face was flushed, her lips slightly swollen, and her eyes still red, but the ice in them had melted.
Lu Xueqi lowered her head, not daring to meet his eyes. Her voice was so soft the wind nearly carried it away.
"I have three conditions." She took a deep breath and spoke slowly.
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