1! The Most Humiliating Derby Defeat in History! Tang Long Was Loving It!

"Wah la wah la wah la~"

As an ambulance arrived at Old Trafford, paramedics carried a convulsing Ferguson onto the vehicle on a stretcher.

By this time, Ferguson had recovered and was fine, cursing Van Gaal while on the stretcher.

(The author is just joking. Wishing you a long and healthy life, Lord. Fujiko is gone, so cheer up, Lord.)

"If I had known it would turn out like this, I would have continued to support Moyes!"

The Manchester Derby ended with Manchester United suffering a humiliating 1-7 defeat at home to Manchester City!

The biggest point difference in history occurred tonight, and everyone will remember this moment.

Whether he will be the last one to achieve this is hard to say, since Tang Long is still at Manchester City, but at least he is unprecedented!

The moment the referee blew the final whistle to end the match.

Old Trafford stadium was in complete chaos.

The 70,000 home fans in the stands threw everything they could find onto the field.

Hot dogs, crumpled paper, coins, hats, chewing gum, socks, belts, fan scarves...

A blonde female fan in the front row was particularly angry.

She took off her fitted women's jersey, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it onto the field. Topless, she pointed at the dejected Manchester United players and shouted curses.

"Take off your Manchester United jerseys, you don't deserve to wear Manchester United!"

Many fans cried.

1:7, that's 1:7!

Losing to Chelsea, Arsenal, or Tottenham Hotspur 1-7 wouldn't be so painful, but the worst thing is losing to our city rivals Manchester City!

Why?

Why did I choose to watch today's game?

Why should we be humiliated like this by Manchester City right under our noses!

If I had known it would turn out like this, I would never have come to watch the game, even if you paid me.

"This is disgusting! It's even more disgusting than losing the Premier League title in the final round three years ago!"

"I've bought Manchester United season tickets for 10 consecutive years, and this will be the last season. I will never renew them!"

"Tang! You're the number 9 from Manchester City, right? I'll remember you. Don't let me see you on the streets of Manchester!"

"Icardi is such a piece of trash, yet he cost us over 100 million euros. He's a complete fraud!"

"I told you long ago, why is a striker from the garbage Serie A league worth over 100 million? Van Gaal must have taken kickbacks!"

"He still has the nerve to say he and De Bruyne are the best duo in the Premier League. Look at De Bruyne, he's at least scored a goal! And Icardi? He was invisible the whole game!"

"No wonder he's called Mauro, I think this kid's completely messed up!"

"I've said it before, we should have forced our way into signing Tang this summer. He's a hundred times better De Bruyne!"

As fans continued to throw objects onto the pitch, security on the sidelines became extremely cautious, immediately urging Manchester City players to refrain from any celebrations and to run into the players' tunnel as quickly as possible.

Pellegrini, while protecting his head with his hand, quickly walked over to Van Gaal and shook his hand.

Pelagrinni felt a surge of secret delight.

Van Gaal, Van Gaal, you were once a great coach, hehe, you never expected to be ruined by me in your old age, your reputation is tarnished!

Despite being overjoyed inside, Pellegrini maintained a solemn expression.

"Unfortunately, we were lucky today..."

Before Pellegrini could finish speaking, he grasped Van Gaal's hand, only to have it clamped down and pulled back forcefully, causing Pellegrini to stumble and nearly fall.

"Chile, do you even know what respect is? What's the point of what you're doing?!"

Van Gaal sprayed Pellegrini with spittle, turning on his hairdryer-like sprayer.

The Netherlands coach has broken down!

The 1-7 scoreline is destined to forever etch him into the annals of Manchester United's history as a disgrace, subject to the scorn of future generations.

How could Van Gaal not be angry that, in his later years, he left behind such a disgraceful mark at the end of his career?

What angered him even more was that when he was leading by three or four goals, Pellagrini could have stopped long ago. Why didn't he tell his players to slow down and stop attacking? Why did he have to beat him so badly when he was down on his luck? Was it fun? If he had scored a few more goals, he wouldn't have gotten four points in this game!

At that moment, Van Gaal seemed to have forgotten that he was facing Manchester City's manager, not his own players waiting to be scolded in the locker room.

Pellegrini was also annoyed.

We earned our achievements fair and square on the field. If you're not satisfied, why are you pulling me down?

They lost both the game and their dignity!

He was preparing for a verbal sparring match with Van Gaal, but Pellegrini immediately recalled the physical altercation he had with Wenger, which led to the intervention of players from both sides, resulting in Agüero and Joe Hart being suspended for three matches.

This really scared Pellegrini.

He quickly gave Van Gaal the middle finger, and before Van Gaal could react, he turned and ran!

Seeing Pellegrini, with his full head of silver hair, sprinting through the players' tunnel, Van Gaal, realizing what was happening, also took off in pursuit!

"Don't run! You Chile coward! If you've got the guts, don't run!"

"I'll be waiting for you at the parking lot entrance. Shall we have a little sparring match?"

And so, to the astonishment of the staff and security guards, two men in their sixties put on a rather dramatic chase in the players' tunnel.

Although Van Gaal and Pellegrini are about the same age, the Netherlands has gained a lot of weight, unlike Pellegrini, who is still very fit in his sixties.

After running more than 10 meters, Van Gaal could no longer see Pellegrini.

"A coward, a coward who dares not confront me..."

Van Gaal had just slowed his pace and was cursing, slipped on a water bottle that someone had left on the ground with a thud. He lost his footing and ended up doing a split, sitting on the ground.

"Ah!!!"

With a snap, his baggy yet expensive trousers ripped open at the crotch.

The egg touched the cold tile floor, sending a chill through me;

Then, the burning, tearing pain in his groin made him let out another howl!

"What is he doing?" one of the staff members asked, dumbfounded.

"Is the old gentleman practicing his martial arts?" another person said.

Some people wanted to help Van Gaal, but the Netherlands, who had been humiliated in public, had a very strong sense of pride. He thought of how Pellegrini, with his full head of silver hair, could escape so nimbly, and wondered why he, with his black hair, couldn't beat him on the ball or physically.

He rebuked the Manchester United staff who tried to help him up, insisting on standing up on his own.

At this moment, Tang Long and Ranocchia rushed over.

I don't know which female fan was bored, but she hit Ranocchia on the head with the underwire of her bra, making her wince in pain;

Tang Long was also hit on the back by a wallet. He was stunned and was about to pick it up to see if there was any money inside when the security guard pushed the two of them inside.

Amidst the hail of gunfire at Old Trafford, the two covered each other and finally made their way into the players' tunnel.

As they ran past Van Gaal, the two saw Van Gaal doing the splits on the ground, his lips turning blue from biting them. They were puzzled and stopped running.

The two men helped him up, but as soon as they were halfway up, Van Gaal glared at them and spat out his saliva!

"I can stand up myself. Get out of here, stop pretending to be a good person!"

Tang Long and Ranocchia looked at each other, then simultaneously let go and continued running forward.

Van Gaal was already halfway up in his splits, his thighs trembling violently, when Tang Long and Ranocchia loosened their grip, and Van Gaal snapped back to his original splits position.

"Ah!!!!"

The entire players' tunnel was filled with the pitiful squeals of the old Netherlands coach.

As originally planned, Pellegrini was to bring Tang Long to the post-match press conference.

However, seeing the Old Trafford fans' agitation, Pellegrini decided to send Tang Long back to the locker room to hide, and instead brought captain Kompany to the event.

Kompany is someone who responds better to gentle persuasion than force.

He is usually gentle and refined, and a man who loves to laugh;

But when they saw Manchester United fans at Old Trafford throwing objects onto the pitch, Kompany had a dent on his bald head from being hit by a coin.

He stopped hiding anything and simply spoke frankly.

"How would you rate this match? A perfect, resounding victory! We played with exhilarating confidence, and that's the kind of overwhelming dominance you need in a derby. I'm extremely satisfied with the team's performance tonight!"

"You ask me what I'm most satisfied with? There are many things. We won the game, and Dom's hat-trick was also very exciting, but what I'm most satisfied with is that the team tightly marked Icardi on the back line, especially Ranocchia. Icardi was as helpless as a chick in front of an eagle when facing him."

A burst of laughter erupted from the audience!

The reporters who supported Manchester City were laughing, while those media figures who supported Manchester United stared at Kompany in silence, their faces ashen.

They wanted to refute the Manchester City captain's statement, but with this score, they really didn't know where to begin.

At Manchester United's press conference, the assistant coach was sitting on the stage with De Bruyne.

The original pre-match plan was for Van Gaal to be with Icardi.

However, Van Gaal was currently dying in the medical room!

What about Icardi?

He hid in the locker room early on and wouldn't come out no matter who called him.

With no other option, the assistant coach had to call on his team, but no one was willing to attend the press conference, so he had to call on De Bruyne.

After all, Manchester United's only goal in this match was scored by the Belgium midfielder.

The moment the two sat down, the Guardian reporter supporting Manchester City grabbed the microphone and launched a scathing attack!

"Kevin Tang said before the match that we had to fight Manchester United to the death! Now that the game is over, what's your response to that statement?"

The entire room fell into a deathly silence.

All eyes were fixed on De Bruyne on the stage.

Even De Bruyne, who has seen a lot in his life, seemed quite helpless when faced with such a question.

He scored the first goal just 5 minutes into the game. De Bruyne thought it was just the beginning of a wonderful night, but little did he know, it was the start of a nightmare!

His lips trembled slightly, and he slowly said:

"We certainly didn't perform as well as our opponents in this match, but the league is a marathon of 38 rounds, and one derby doesn't decide anything. We'll see how it goes next May."

The Guardian didn't hand back the microphone; instead, they immediately followed up with the question: Why did Icardi perform poorly today?

This question also left De Bruyne scratching his head. He wondered why Mauro, who was unstoppable in the Premier League, seemed so helpless against Manchester City's defense, like a chick standing in front of an eagle.

Perhaps he's not as good at seizing opportunities as Agüero from Manchester City.

However, having failed to answer the first question, De Bruyne needed to save face.

"I have never doubted Mauro's talent for scoring goals; it's perfectly normal for a striker's form to fluctuate occasionally."

"Just now, when I came out of the locker room, Icardi confidently told me that when we go to the Etihad next year, we will inflict the same pain on Manchester City!"

"I know you want to see our whole team looking dejected, but I want to tell you solemnly that despite this unforgettable night, I still believe that Manchester is always red!"

The Daily Telegraph: Manchester United have not lost their confidence despite adversity, Red Devils' resurgence is just around the corner!

Manchester Evening News: Manchester United has sown the seeds of hope; a single spark can start a prairie fire!

<24 Hours News>: Manchester City's big win couldn't mask their erratic playing style, while Manchester United's crushing defeat highlighted their team cohesion!

The Guardian: Blue or Red? The score says it all!

That night.

Icardi, who had spent a full three hours scrolling through the news, was still resentful.

Unable to score on the field, he could only vent his shooting frustrations on his wife, Wanda.

He completed the hat trick!

Icardi stepped out of his bedroom, full of confidence and triumph.

He felt his masculinity had returned.

He immediately opened the social media account he hadn't dared to use since the start of the competition and posted a status update.

[13:2!]

The accompanying image shows Manchester United's 13 Premier League titles, filling the entire picture.

Below are Manchester City's two Premier League titles, sparsely listed, with blank spaces at the edges of the screen.

This is a sarcastic jab at Manchester City. We, Manchester United, have 13 Premier League titles, while you only have 2!

Although it was posted very late at night, many netizens who had been following Icardi since the match flooded his social media with comments.

"You've entered the annals of history again?"

"Manchester United has 13 Premier League titles, how many of them have you won?"

"That's hilarious! You just lost 1-7, and then you hit a 13-2 comeback with your backhand! Mauro, you must know math and know how to compare sizes!"

"He even called himself the best striker in the Premier League, but he got completely thrashed by Agüero!"

"You're like a chick next to Ranocchia. Go back to Serie A, the Premier League isn't for you!"

Icardi did not reply to the comments.

An hour later, he posted another message.

[3:0!]

The accompanying photo shows him on the left, posing with Manchester United's three UEFA Champions League trophies in the Old Trafford trophy gallery when he joined the Manchester United.

The image on the right is blank.

Netizens were overjoyed and joined in the commotion.

"Yes, yes, yes, go Mauro, you're the best!"

"Mauro, I suggest you add an 11:5 ratio to the next picture. Manchester United has more FA Cup than Manchester City!"

"20:4, a commanding lead in the Community Shield!"

"Old Trafford has a capacity of 76,212, leading Etihad's 55,097. Manchester United have won again!"

"An own goal makes it 1-0, a last-minute winner against Agüero! In short, Icardi, you've won so badly, you're a true winner!"