Ronaldo's Urgency: "Don't Move, I'll Fly Back From Sao Paulo Immediately to Find You!"
The Tapir d'Oro is an award produced by Italy national television that is humorous, satirical, and critical of reality. The recipients are mainly the most unfortunate and disappointed people.
The La Gazzetta dello Sport once commented. "Every star wants more trophies—except for the Tapir d'Oro."
In its early days, the Tapir d'Oro Award was intended to satirize certain athletes' shameful actions or performances; later, the award gradually became a source of ridicule, evolving from mere satire into a form of dark humor.
Icardi played in Serie A for many years and was familiar with this award.
There was a time when, seeing Totti, Cassano, and Ibrahimovic receive this award, Icardi would happily join those around him in mocking these unlucky guys.
But what Icardi never expected was that on this day, he would also be targeted by Italy national television!
The host happily knocked on Icardi's car window.
"My dear Mauro, you have no idea how much effort we put into airlifting this golden tapir from Italy to Manchester yesterday! Come down and claim your prize!"
Where had Icardi ever seen such a large golden tapir?
In the past, these golden tapirs were always small, handed out to disappointed players. How come a colossal creature suddenly appeared when it was my turn?
He was momentarily dazed and confused, and unknowingly opened the car door, only to be pulled in front of the camera by the host for an interview.
"Mauro, the season before last you were the Serie A Boot winner who broke the all-time goalscoring record, and last season you were Manchester United's top scorer. How come you can't even make the starting lineup now? Please share your thoughts!"
Icardi has a habitual physiological reaction: when he is particularly angry or nervous, he Baba when he speaks.
This is what happened when he confronted De Bruyne the bathroom at the Carrington Training Complex because of his wife Wanda.
So the host patiently asked him several questions, but Icardi gave irrelevant answers, his face turning bright red, steam rising from his head, looking like he was about to explode.
The Manchester United fans who had been waiting at the door for autographs nearby also gathered around curiously when they saw a huge golden monster standing there next to Icardi.
In no time, dozens of people gathered around the Tapir d'Oro, curiously observing the group, with some even taking out their phones to take pictures.
A few flashes of light from the camera jolted Icardi back to reality, and he snapped back to his senses.
"That's utter garbage! How dare you give me this award!"
Icardi angrily shoved the host aside and turned to walk towards his car, but was stopped by the host after only a few steps.
"Mauro, since we've come all the way to Manchester, please accept this prize and take it home to put in your yard!"
"Don't worry, we can deliver to your door! All Tapir d'Oro include free shipping; you don't need to pay for delivery."
What? You want to put it in my yard too?
Icardi was furious.
He turned and leaped onto the truck, then swung his fist and punched the huge golden tapir in the belly.
Bang!
Icardi punched a large hole in the golden tapir's belly, but at the same time, his hand was in excruciating pain, and he screamed "Ah!"
Amidst the astonished gazes of the crowd, Icardi jumped off the truck like a clown, climbed into his own car, and sped away in an instant.
To avoid being pursued and intercepted by the Italy national television station, he deliberately drove around in circles.
What should have been a half-hour journey took him an hour and a half to finally sneak home.
However, he almost fainted as soon as his car drove into the yard.
The golden tapir with a large hole punched in its belly, sealed with duct tape, stood quietly in its own yard.
Its ugly appearance and comical long nose stared straight at him, as if mocking him. "Mauro, you can't escape!"
Wanda, Wanda's wife, wasn't home; she was probably out gallivanting somewhere again. The nanny led Icardi's children out.
"Mauro, this strange little animal was delivered by truck half an hour ago. They said it was specially ordered from Italy by you, and they specifically told me to have them put it in the yard. So I let them in."
I asked how much the shipping would be, and they said it was free, delivered to my door.
The children ran over excitedly, surrounded the large golden tapir, clapping and cheering.
"The toy Dad bought is so beautiful and cute!"
Icardi's vision blurred, and he stumbled and fell to the ground;
She stood up and started yelling loudly. To the horror of the nanny and children, she grabbed a clothes rack from the ground and started hitting the golden tapir with it.
"You want to give me an award? You want to give me an award? I'll beat you to death! I'll beat you to death!"
The fact that Italy national television, thousands of kilometers away, specially airlifted a giant golden tapir to Manchester to present the award to Icardi made him a laughing stock to everyone.
Britain media outlets, always eager for drama, devoted significant space to reporting on the matter.
They even interviewed the host from the Italy national television station.
The article vividly described Icardi's escape and the golden tapir's pursuit, filling the pages with its details and making the UK, who read the newspapers during their leisure time, laugh heartily.
"Icardi no longer plays in Italy, so why did you go to all this trouble to award him the Tapir d'Oro?"
"Because this is an innovative move by the Italy national television network, we have decided to make our award an international one, just like the Ballon d'Or!"
At the same time.
Tang Long's bicycle kick goal has become a hot topic!
Numerous Britain television stations are replaying this video, inviting Premier League legends and strikers such as Allan Shearer, Henry, Owen to comment on Tang Long's goal.
Without exception, everyone highly praised Tang Long's bicycle kick inside the penalty area!
Allan Shearer said, " In the Manchester Derby of the 27th round of the 2010/11 Premier League season, Rooney also scored a spectacular bicycle kick, helping his team defeat Manchester City 2-1. The moment Don scored, I was reminded of Rooney's goal. Both bicycle kicks were equally brilliant!"
Henry said, "To be honest, I think Don's bicycle kick, in terms of importance, might not be as significant as Rooney's goal in the derby, but in terms of both brilliance and difficulty, it surpasses Rooney's!"
Owen chimed in, "That's right. Don fully demonstrated his coordination in that goal. The key was how precise his touch was when he was so high in the air. It was incredible. I think even if I were in my prime, I would have had a hard time making such a difficult move in that position."
Henry remarked, "In this match, Tang Long slowed down his goal-scoring pace, but with seven goals in three rounds, he still tops the Premier League scoring charts and is the highest-scoring player in the Top Five Leagues. As a striker, I have a small personal motive."
Allan Shearer and Owen asked, "What ulterior motive?"
Henry laughed, "I not only hope Tang can score more goals, but I also hope to see more difficult bicycle kicks like these. I just want to find out just how much more energy this young China man has to offer us. I think we've only seen the tip of the iceberg so far!"
In Monday's "Total Football" program, the "Top Ten Goals" segment featured...
Bonazzoli's bicycle kick and goal put him in second place;
Tang Long's inverted hook is undoubtedly number one!
"This was not only the only bicycle kick in this round of the Top Five Leagues, but also the first time in Tang Long's professional career that he had completed such a difficult goal!"
"Owen, Alan Shearer, and Henry all praised the goal highly!"
"Henry said he hopes to see Tang Long score more difficult goals, and every one of us fans also hopes to see Tang Long score in our weekly Top 10 Goals segment!"
That evening.
Tang Long returned from the AI Cloud Training Ground feeling refreshed and ready to go to bed.
The phone suddenly rang!
It's the agent Ronaldo!
"Tang, don't move! I just boarded a flight from Sao Paulo to Manchester! Remember, don't believe the nonsense spouted by those two big liars, Mendes and Raiola. This place is too complicated; you can't handle it!"