My Luck Was Terrible: Sometimes Things Just Didn't Go Your Way. Right Now, I Just Wanted to

Slaughter Every Elementary Schooler in the World.

Urahara Shop.

"This is the place!" Rukia pointed at the Urahara Shop, about to introduce its owner.

The shop's tightly shut shutter rolled open, and a middle-aged man wearing wooden sandals and a green-and-white striped hat stepped out. He was none other than the shop's owner, Urahara Kisuke.

Behind him stood Tsukabishi Tessai, along with two little kids.

"Well, this is a rare visit!" Urahara Kisuke half hid his face behind a fan as he glanced at Isshin and spoke. But then his gaze froze and shifted to Ichigo, standing beside Kurosaki Isshin.

More precisely, it landed on Kurosaki Masaki in Ichigo's arms.

"Come inside first!"

Rukia and Ichigo raised their eyebrows at the same time. From the look on Urahara Kisuke's face, he obviously knew Ichigo's mother too, and he had initially greeted Isshin.

For the first time, Kurosaki Ichigo realized that his shameless old man was actually quite mysterious.

But now wasn't the time to ask questions. Ichigo and the others headed into the Urahara Shop, but someone rushed in ahead of them.

"Food! Is there any food?!"

As soon as Wu Biao entered the shop, he didn't even glance at Urahara and the others. He immediately started searching the place.

"..."

Ichigo's mouth twitched slightly. Brother Biao really must have been starving!

"This must be Mr. Wu Biao!" A flicker of interest crossed Urahara Kisuke's eyes as he looked at Wu Biao. Ever since hearing about him from Rukia, he'd been keeping an eye on this human.

But even he couldn't figure out what was going on with Wu Biao. He was clearly just an ordinary human, yet he had combat strength on par with a Shinigami Seated Officer. It made Urahara Kisuke want to capture him and study him...

"Quit with the 'Mr.' stuff and just call me Brother Biao!" Wu Biao replied without turning around, his gaze continuing to roam around the shop. "Hey, Green-and-White Hat, where's the food in this place?"

"Heh heh heh!" Urahara Kisuke laughed without a care. "This is a general store. We don't sell food!"

Thud—

Wu Biao fell to the floor. His previously excited face turned sour in an instant. "There's no food... I'm going to starve to death..."

"But we were just about to eat. If you don't mind—"

"I don't mind!"

Before Urahara Kisuke could finish, Wu Biao sprang to his feet and patted him on the shoulder. "Not bad, you know how to treat a guest. If anyone gives you trouble in the future, just give them Brother Biao's name. It'll do the trick!"

"..." Urahara Kisuke's mouth twitched at that. What kind of thought process did this guy have?

But Wu Biao sniffed the air and ran straight into the house. From far away, they could still hear him exclaim, "Rice! It really is rice! This is amazing!"

"Don't mind him!" Kurosaki Isshin chuckled to himself. You'll regret that soon enough. Then he said, a little nervously, "Do me a favor and let me leave my body for a bit!"

"Understood!"

Urahara Kisuke smiled faintly and tapped the top of Kurosaki Isshin's head with his cane. Isshin's spirit instantly left the special Gigai.

This special spirit body was remarkably well made. Once Kurosaki Isshin left it, a chain still connected his chest to his physical body, making it seem just like a real human body.

No, actually, this was his real body... After all, he had three kids!

Transformed into a spirit, Kurosaki Isshin turned around impatiently. His Shinigami-transformed son and Kurosaki Masaki in Ichigo's arms came into view. Even though he'd been thinking about this moment the whole way here, Kurosaki Isshin's hands still trembled with excitement when he finally saw Masaki.

"Dad, how do you... know this wooden-sandal hat guy?" Ichigo had been wondering the whole way there. He finally couldn't hold back his question.

"I..."

"Mr. Isshin is a friend of mine in the Human World. We've known each other for many years!" Just as Isshin was about to speak, Urahara Kisuke cut him off.

Isshin's brows furrowed almost imperceptibly, but he nodded along.

"Yeah, so I know a bit about Shinigami and Hollows!"

Only then did Rukia and Kurosaki Ichigo nod in understanding. They still had some questions, but didn't ask any more.

"Let's examine Mrs. Kurosaki first. You can tell me what happened along the way."

"Ururu, do you think this guy's going to eat himself to death...?"

"Uh..." Ururu blinked in confusion as she watched Wu Biao devour the food. After a long pause, she said uncertainly, "Probably... I think... in theory, he won't?"

The two kids stared blankly at Wu Biao as he ate... or, more accurately, poured food into himself. At that very moment, Wu Biao was leaning his head back and holding up the huge pot they used to cook rice, pouring it into his mouth without stopping...

They couldn't even tell if his throat was as wide as the pot. They never saw him swallow; all they saw was the rice in the pot steadily disappearing.

And that pot of rice was supposed to feed their whole family!

The two kids held their chopsticks, unsure whether to eat or get as far away from Brother Biao as possible. They were afraid that if he wasn't full, he might swallow them whole, since he was a starving ghost...

And not even spit out the bones.

Thud—

The sound of the rice pot hitting the floor made the two kids jump. They both looked at Brother Biao warily.

"I'm alive again." Wu Biao patted his stomach and lay back on the tatami, looking utterly content. "I'm about eighty percent full!"

Eighty percent full?

Just how much could this guy eat?

The two kids stared at the pot, which had been emptied down to the last grain, and cursed inwardly. They had only just finished cooking and hadn't even had a chance to pick up their chopsticks when this bunch showed up.

"Hey, are you really human?" Jinta asked bravely.

"What kind of stupid question is that? If I'm not human, am I a ghost?" Wu Biao lit a cigarette and took a satisfied drag.

"I don't know about that, but I do know ghosts aren't as good at eating as you..."

Only then did Wu Biao remember that he was in someone else's home, and he felt a little embarrassed. "Heh, I was just so hungry. I've chewed through several pieces of tree bark along the way, but they didn't fill me up at all."

"You chewed tree bark? You can eat that stuff?" Jinta was speechless. But he and Ururu relaxed a little. It seemed this guy didn't eat people...

"Such picky eaters. Back when there was a famine, people survived by eating tree bark!" Wu Biao said solemnly. Then he gave the two kids a disdainful look. "I can tell just by looking at you two that you've never gone hungry!"

Never mind that they'd never heard of a famine in Karakura Town. Why had they never heard of it? Wu Biao's disdainful look, as if they were ignorant fools, was enough to annoy them.

Jinta said indignantly, "The only way there'd be a famine in a place was if someone like you lived there, eating everything! And I've never heard of anyone surviving by eating tree bark."

Wu Biao grinned, but there was something eerie about his smile. "You kids, raised in a greenhouse, are so ignorant. There are all sorts of things in this world you can eat. For instance..." His gaze swept over the two kids. "You two..."

"Us...?" Jinta's expression changed instantly. He grabbed Ururu, and the two of them darted far away from Wu Biao. "Hey, you... what are you going to do? You're not going to eat people, are you?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Wu Biao gave the two kids a curious glance. "I meant that flower behind you. I remember it's edible."

The two kids immediately breathed a sigh of relief.

"But..." Wu Biao rubbed his chin. "I heard human flesh tastes a lot like beef. If you're about to starve to death, it's definitely a way to survive."

At that, the two kids, who had just relaxed, backed away again. If anyone else had said it, they could have taken it as a joke. But after seeing how this starving ghost ate... the possibility seemed very real!

"Besides, I heal fast. If I cut off a piece of my own flesh, it'll grow back before long!"

"..."

A lunatic. He was definitely a lunatic. He even wanted to eat himself. Who knew what this guy wouldn't do!

When Urahara Kisuke and the others came out, they found both kids fully armed and keeping their distance from Wu Biao. They looked as though they were ready to run for their lives the moment he moved!

"How'd it go? How's Ichigo's mom?" Wu Biao came straight over to them and asked.

Why did that sound so weird?

Ichigo's mouth twitched, but he answered anyway. "Mom's still unconscious. According to Mr. Urahara, there's a powerful energy inside her body, far beyond the limits of an ordinary soul. She's unconscious because she's in a state of self-protection. We have to wait for that energy to adjust to her soul and reach a balance. Only then will Mom be able to wake up."

Wu Biao blinked. All he could say about Ichigo's explanation was... he hadn't understood a word!

"In short, she can't wake up for the time being!" Seeing Wu Biao's expression, Isshin knew he hadn't understood a thing. He summed up what Ichigo had said in a few simple words.

"Oh, but why can't she wake up?"

"..." Kurosaki Ichigo slapped his forehead. So he'd just spent all that time explaining for nothing.

"Don't worry about it!" As the saying went, the older, the wiser. Isshin promptly ignored Wu Biao's questions, which were just like those of a curious child but impossible to answer. Instead, he asked, "How exactly did you do it?"

"I don't know!"

"..." Isshin sighed. "Let's go home first!"

"What about your wife? Why isn't she coming with us?"

"She's unconscious, understand? She's unconscious! Only Urahara has the medical equipment to treat souls!!!"

"Then why is she unconscious?"

"Get lost!"

"Jinta, Ururu, where's the food we made?"

"That Wu Biao guy ate it all!" Jinta said.

"Shopkeeper, I'm hungry." Ururu looked at Urahara Kisuke pitifully.

"..."