We Are Bald, Therefore We Are Invincible (Funny Face)

Chapter 40: We're bald, so we're invincible (smirking face). First part of the 7,000-character mega-chapter!

Midnight, Rukongai West District, Shiba family underground training ground.

A thunderous vibration shook the entire underground facility. Ichigo and his group were all gathered here, and the one who had just triggered the tremor was none other than Kurosaki Ichigo!

At this moment, the culprit was being violently kicked in the back of the head by a one-armed woman. This woman was none other than Yoruichi Shihoin's close friend—aside from Urahara—and the current head of the Shiba family, Kūkaku Shiba.

"Are you not listening to me, you bastard?!"

Kūkaku Shiba stomped hard on the back of Ichigo's head, veins bulging on her forehead as if she wanted nothing more than to slaughter him on the spot. "I told you, if you can't concentrate, it'll explode!"

"It seems... that's the case..." Ichigo, still dizzy from the explosion, replied groggily and subconsciously under the barrage of kicks.

Off to the side, Shiba Ganju, who was responsible for teaching Ichigo how to condense his spiritual power core, picked his nose with a look of disdain. "That's why I'm saying, a Shinigami like you..." Before he could finish, Kūkaku Shiba walked over and smashed him into the ground with a single punch!

"You're just as guilty, you idiot! Do you two bastards not want to eat?"

"Why?"

"Just like this guy?"

"..."

Sado and the others twitched their lips, all of them trembling as they watched this pyrotechnician whose personality was... even more explosive than her profession.

In the end, Yoruichi stepped forward to stop Kūkaku's abuse. She looked at the four people in the arena and said in a deep voice, "Ichigo has finally finished practicing with the cannonball. All of you, gather around!"

Hearing this, everyone's expressions turned solemn, and they huddled into a circle around Yoruichi.

"There isn't much time left. I'll explain the experience of breaking into Seireitei, so you must prepare yourselves mentally." As Yoruichi said this, a look of extreme annoyance appeared on her face.

"Because some self-righteous bastard completely ignored the battle plan and went to invade Seireitei all by himself. With his intelligence, he definitely wouldn't know what it means to be careful... By now, he's probably turned the entire Seireitei upside down!"

"..." Everyone's lips twitched. Thinking of Brother Biao's personality, the situation inside Seireitei probably couldn't even be described as "upside down" anymore... at least, to Ichigo, who knew Brother Biao extremely well.

He felt that Brother Biao was likely walking through the streets of Seireitei right now, looking at a large group of enemies while shouting excitedly: "Wahahaha, fists hitting flesh is the true romance of a man!"

Then, he would probably be grabbing someone by the collar, looking fierce like a thug, and asking: "Hey, where are Rukia and that sissy!"

This made Ichigo increasingly worried about Brother Biao's safety. The more he understood, the more terrifying he found it.

Although it is often said that the unknown is the most terrifying, there are some things that, once understood, make one even more apprehensive!

When Yoruichi proceeded to explain in detail the defensive forces within Seireitei, the Gotei 13, the thirteen captains and lieutenants, and so on, the group became heavy-hearted and couldn't help but worry about Wu Biao's safety.

"In summary, Seireitei is an extremely dangerous place. With your current strength, absolutely do not clash with anyone at the captain or lieutenant level. Remember... our main goal is to rescue Rukia, not to conquer Seireitei, which is an absolutely impossible task!"

Yoruichi, who said these words, did not know that inside Seireitei, a certain blockheaded idiot had already completely reversed the priorities and begun a journey of sweeping through Seireitei!!!

Not only did she not expect it, but even Ichigo, who understood Brother Biao best, didn't think Brother Biao would be crazy enough to go to that extent.

"No more questions, right?" Yoruichi scanned the circle, and after finding that no one spoke, she nodded. "Then go get some rest!"

"Huh?" Ichigo and the others were stunned. Ichigo even stood up and asked anxiously, "Can't we leave now? Brother Biao is still inside Seireitei; we need to get in there and check on his situation first!"

"Do you think this is visiting a neighbor's house, where you can just 'go in and check'?" Yoruichi snapped, then turned to look at Kūkaku on the other side of the room. "The Kukaku Cannon still needs some preparation. It won't be ready for launch until around dawn."

"You've all been training for an entire night. Sleep for four hours to recover your spiritual pressure and exhausted minds. Otherwise, if you head to Seireitei in your current state, it'll be a death sentence!"

Midnight, inside Seireitei.

Usually, by this time, Seireitei would have fallen into silence, and basically all divisions would have started resting.

However, today was vastly different. Between the 20th and 80th main roads of Seireitei, groups of Shinigami were rushing past.

Under the night sky, the area was brightly lit, and teams from the 4th Division were constantly weaving through, carrying the wounded!

In the 4th Division barracks, casualties brought in from all over were gathered. The massive infirmary was filled with screams and wails, but the most spectacular sight was the 5th Division's ward.

Over a hundred people with bandages wrapped around their heads were gathered there. At a glance, it was a sea of white. Everyone had a bitter, resentful expression on their faces, and their eyes burned with the cold glow of hatred.

It made every 4th Division member who came to treat them want to laugh but not dare to, for fear of being beaten up by these 5th Division members who were already angry enough to go insane.

Because, aside from a few dozen people who were out on field duty or patrol, most of the 5th Division had been sent here. It could be said that, except for their captain who had run off somewhere, the entire 5th Division had been wiped out...

And they had all been plucked bald. But that wasn't the main point; the main point was that because the hair was ripped out violently, the hair follicles of all the 5th Division members were mostly necrotic. Even for those whose follicles weren't dead, when the hair grew back, it would be patchy, like a dog had chewed on it... it would be better to just shave it all off!

Their division could treat physical injuries, but the necrosis of the hair follicles... their division was truly powerless against that. Otherwise, the bald guys from the 11th Division would have come running long ago to ask for hair regrowth.

This led to the 5th Division gaining a new nickname.

The Bald Division.

All members would only be able to be bald from now on. This scene was pitiful, but it also made people want to burst into laughter!

Just then, a cold current suddenly emanated from outside the ward, chilling to the bone. Everyone in the ward shivered subconsciously and looked up toward the entrance.

Two figures, one tall and one short, walked in slowly. Leading them was a boy with silver hair and turquoise eyes, standing about 1.3 meters tall. Judging by his face and height, anyone would mistake him for an elementary school student.

Yet, that youthful face displayed an air of authority, and the captain's haori he wore made no one dare to underestimate him.

Hitsugaya Tōshirō.

Captain of the 10th Division of the Gotei 13, the youngest among the current captains, and secretly known by many Shinigami as a genius boy.

Following closely behind him was his subordinate, the lieutenant of the 10th Division, Matsumoto Rangiku.

With long, wavy golden hair, a beauty mark near her lip, and delicate features, the most eye-catching aspect was her ample chest, which was outlined in a perfect spherical arc by the constraints of her shihakusho.

Hitsugaya Tōshirō's face was cold to the extreme, yet his eyes were filled with worry. After pausing at the doorway, he walked straight into the depths of the ward.

"This is truly a spectacle!" Rangiku, following right behind, caught sight of the sea of bandaged heads in the ward and couldn't help but stick out her tongue, her face full of apprehension: "This Ryoka has such a bizarre hobby; he actually likes pulling people's hair!"

If they had a choice, no one would want to be bald, especially women who cared about their appearance. They would rather die in battle than end up bald...

As they walked, Hitsugaya Tōshirō led Rangiku directly to a private room at the back of the ward, stepping inside without even knocking.

The sound of the door opening startled Hinamori Momo. Without even looking to see who it was, she pulled her thick quilt up to cover her head completely, not leaving a single inch exposed.

"Ah... get out, everyone get out, don't come in!!!"

The corners of Tōshirō's mouth twitched slightly. Even with just a fleeting glance, his dynamic vision had clearly captured that... gleaming bald head. While he was furious, the heart that had been pounding in his chest couldn't help but settle.

Walking straight to the bedside, Tōshirō reached out as if to pull back the quilt, but hesitated and pulled his hand back. He asked with concern, "Momo... Lieutenant Hinamori, are you alright now?"

He had originally intended to call her Momo, but remembering that Rangiku was still there, he changed it to Lieutenant Hinamori.

After a long silence beneath the quilt, Hinamori Momo's muffled, sobbing voice drifted out: "Is that you, Shiro-chan?"

"Call me Captain Hitsugaya..." Tōshirō corrected her with a helpless expression. Calling him Shiro-chan sounded like she was calling a puppy! Besides, it was fine to call him that when they were alone, but did she have to do it in front of his lieutenant?

Rangiku, standing to the side, couldn't help but snicker. Even though she had heard it many times, the sight of her captain's helpless expression always made her laugh out loud.

Hearing her laughter, the figure under the quilt stiffened. After a moment of hesitation, she asked, "Is that you, Rangiku-san?"

"Mm!"

"Come out, there's no one else here!" Tōshirō said directly, then looked at the quilt-covered Hinamori Momo with a cold tone: "Come out and describe the characteristics of that Ryoka to me!"

From this, one could see the status Hinamori Momo held in Tōshirō's heart. He was clearly furious to the extreme, and his questioning was driven by a desire to help her take revenge.

Hinamori Momo hesitated for a long time before saying, "I can come out, but you are absolutely forbidden to laugh!"

"Don't worry, I guarantee the captain won't laugh!" Rangiku blinked and replied immediately.

Tōshirō, standing to the side, nodded and gave a soft grunt of affirmation.

Only then did Hinamori Momo slowly pull the quilt down. Her incredibly shiny bald head reflected a beautiful luster under the lights, looking just like a mirror. One had to admit, Wu Biao's head-shaving technique was truly extraordinary...

"Pfft... hahahahaha..." The moment Hinamori Momo's gleaming bald head was revealed, Rangiku leaned against the hospital bed and burst into laughter, tears streaming down her face: "Momo, your head is even shinier than Ikkaku's from the 11th Division!"

"I told you not to laugh at me!" Hinamori Momo glared at Rangiku with an annoyed expression, speaking in a muffled voice.

"I only promised that the captain wouldn't laugh!"

"..."

Tōshirō's mouth twitched uncontrollably. He had to admit... with Momo's current appearance, keeping a straight face was a massive challenge. He felt a sudden urge to point at her and laugh, then say: Bed-wetter Momo, your hairstyle is absolutely amazing...

Of course, given his current position, the kind of things he could only do when they lived together as children were now impossible to do, no matter what!

However, he felt a bit strange, as Hinamori Momo's way of speaking just now was clearly odd, as if she were unwilling to open her mouth.

"What's wrong with your mouth?" Tōshirō asked, puzzled.

Upon hearing this, Hinamori Momo's expression changed drastically. She covered her mouth with one hand and waved her other hand at them repeatedly, signaling that nothing was wrong. However... her actions only piqued their curiosity even more!

Bang, bang—

Just then, a knock came at the door, and a tall woman with white hair walked in. She paused when she saw Tōshirō in the room, then bowed: "Captain Hitsugaya, you've arrived!"

Tōshirō's expression returned to calm, and he nodded faintly.

The newcomer was the lieutenant of the 4th Division, Kotetsu Isane. After greeting Tōshirō, she walked over to Hinamori Momo. Seeing this, Hitsugaya stepped aside to give her space to perform an examination.

"Lieutenant Hinamori, please open your mouth and let me see!"

As soon as these words were spoken, Hinamori Momo's expression became conflicted, and curiosity flared in the eyes of Tōshirō and Rangiku.

Seeing Hinamori Momo's expression, Kotetsu Isane didn't need to guess what she was thinking. She couldn't help but smile inwardly, but kept her face neutral as she said, "Lieutenant Hinamori, please cooperate with my treatment. Otherwise, if it's too late and the gums are damaged, I don't know if they will be able to recover..."

Before she could finish, hearing that her gums might be damaged, Hinamori Momo hurriedly opened her mouth, revealing the gap where her two front teeth were missing.

"Hahahahaha..." Seeing this, Rangiku doubled over in laughter.

"..." Tōshirō covered his face and turned away silently, though one could clearly see his shoulders shaking from behind.

"Don't laugh, you jerks!!!" Hinamori Momo's pretty face turned beet red, and flames seemed to be shooting from her large eyes: "I will definitely kill that Ryoka, absolutely!!!"

The most composed person in the room was likely Kotetsu Isane. After checking, she nodded: "It's fortunate; that punch didn't strike the gums directly. The damage isn't severe, and they will grow back soon."

"How long is 'soon'?"

"About half a year, I suppose!"

"..."

Half a year?

Doesn't that mean I have to live in this ugly state for half a year?

Just thinking about it, Hinamori Momo felt completely hopeless...

Hearing that the examination was over, Tōshirō finally calmed his mind and turned back. However, upon seeing Hinamori Momo's gap-toothed, bald appearance, his face twitched uncontrollably, and it took a long while before he returned to his calm demeanor.

Trying hard not to look or imagine the state of Hinamori Momo...

"Ahem." After two dry coughs, Tōshirō returned to his cold demeanor and looked at Kotetsu Isane to ask, "What is the situation outside now? Has that intruder been captured?"

"This..." Kotetsu Isane's expression darkened. "I just finished checking from start to finish, and there are an estimated 600-plus people."

"600-plus?" Tōshirō was stunned, asking in confusion, "What 600-plus?"

"The injury count!"

"What?"

Rangiku, standing to the side, was startled. She could no longer bring herself to laugh at Hinamori Momo's appearance and looked at Kotetsu Isane in disbelief. "Injury count? How is that possible? The news of an intruder breaching the Seireitei only broke at dusk. It hasn't even been a full day; how could there be such heavy casualties? Just how many intruders are there?"

"Only one!"

Kotetsu Isane said in a low voice, "There is only one intruder. They broke through the blockade from the Western White Road Gate all the way from Road 160 to Road 70, defeating over 600 people. And this number is still rising. This... is likely the greatest tragedy our Soul Society has seen in a century!"

"How is this possible?" Rangiku could hardly believe her ears. A mere intruder had caused such a sensation within the Seireitei.

"What about the intruder? Have they not been caught yet?" Tōshirō asked.

"No!"

"How could this happen?" Tōshirō frowned. "Has the intruder's location not been locked down yet?"

"It cannot be locked!"

Kotetsu Isane shook her head. "The invading intruder is a human with no spiritual power, so it is impossible to use spiritual detection methods to confirm their exact location. Fortunately, for some reason, this intruder has been moving in a straight line, allowing us to determine their general direction. However..."

Kotetsu Isane shook her head slightly. "Even knowing the general direction, we can only disperse search parties in that area. But the intruder's strength is immense; even teams led by seated officers are defeated in an instant. By the time reinforcements arrive, the intruder is already gone."

Once these words were spoken, the 4th Division barracks fell into silence.

No one had expected that a person without spiritual power could cause such damage to the Seireitei. Moreover, because they lacked spiritual power, all their methods for tracking spiritual pressure had become completely useless.

Even captains, who could use spiritual network tracking, were unable to locate the intruder. They were forced to rely entirely on personnel to search and form containment circles.

However... without the presence of lieutenants or captains, such containment circles were easily broken through by Wu Biao.

This could not be blamed on the Seireitei; after all, in the history of the Shinigami, there had never been a report of an intruder without a shred of spiritual fluctuation... because even those Pluses would generate spiritual particles in their souls to sustain their existence after death.

But due to his unique constitution, Wu Biao had become a person completely devoid of spiritual power!

If the 12th Division were given time, they might be able to develop a way to track Wu Biao. But there was no time for research, making the task of finding Wu Biao extremely difficult.

They could only rely on each division to begin a carpet search, but there were only so many captains and lieutenants, and even if they all mobilized, they could not cover every area.

Furthermore... the captains were scattered everywhere. Setting aside 4th Division Captain Unohana Retsu, who needed to remain at the 4th Division to oversee medical treatment, the others were busy.

Some were plotting schemes, some were drinking, some were coughing incessantly in their barracks, and then there was... a certain captain who ignored his own subordinates to run to the 4th Division with his lieutenant to visit his childhood friend.

In short, everyone was doing their own thing, acting as they pleased without restraint. Of course, this was also because captains were forbidden from acting without permission within the Seireitei.

As for the few lieutenants who were dispatched, they could not possibly cover all the search teams, and the chance of them happening upon Wu Biao was extremely low.

All these factors combined to create the current situation.

Wu Biao had actually... steamrolled the western part of the Seireitei!

"Our captain says this matter has drawn the high attention of the Captain-Commander. Captains may receive permission to mobilize. After the meeting tomorrow morning, they might even lift the restrictions on the use of Bankai for captains!"

"Bankai permissions?" Tōshirō frowned. "Is the intruder really that strong?"

"Very strong!"

These words did not come from Kotetsu Isane, but from Hinamori Momo, who was leaning against her hospital bed. "That madman is like the natural enemy of all Shinigami. Whether it's spiritual pressure or Kido, he possesses terrifying defensive capabilities. It's as if he were a human born specifically to counter us Shinigami. The most terrifying thing is his strength... that power to overwhelm everything with brute force alone!"

"The natural enemy of Shinigami?" Hinamori Momo's words made the atmosphere in the room heavy.

Tōshirō pondered for a long while, then, as if remembering something, asked, "By the way, you only mentioned the number of injured. Has the death toll been tallied?"

Kotetsu Isane shook her head.

"No tally?" A hint of dissatisfaction was evident in Tōshirō's tone.

Kotetsu Isane shook her head again, but this time, before Tōshirō could ask, she answered directly, "Not a single death. The intruder is very measured in their actions. At most, they cause heavy injuries, and thanks to rescue efforts, no one has died yet. The only permanent damage caused was to the members of the 5th Division... their hair!"

By the end, Kotetsu Isane's tone had become somewhat strange... Was this intruder sure they weren't here to play a joke on the Seireitei?

Although the fact that the permanent damage was only to hair was inexplicably amusing, Tōshirō immediately turned a concerned gaze toward Hinamori Momo.

"Lieutenant Hinamori Momo is a bit different!" Seeing this, Kotetsu Isane knew what Tōshirō was worried about and smiled. "Fortunately, Lieutenant Hinamori Momo's hair wasn't pulled out by brute force, but... shaved off with a blade. It can grow back."

"So, should I be thanking that bastard!" Hinamori Momo gritted her teeth.

"..."

The corners of Tōshirō's and Rangiku's mouths twitched uncontrollably. Was this intruder really not here to play a joke?

He even shaved Hinamori Momo's head. Tōshirō suppressed his laughter and asked Hinamori Momo, "But why did only the 5th Division receive... uh, this treatment?"

"Probably... because we burned all his hair off!" Hinamori Momo's mouth twitched visibly. Recalling the expression on the intruder's face when he emerged from the Shakkaho and realized his hair had been burned away, it was exactly like theirs now.

This made her unable to help but smile bitterly. It really lived up to the saying: what goes around comes around.

The atmosphere in the room fell silent. All three stared at Hinamori Momo with wide eyes, and then a burst of explosive laughter erupted. Tōshirō could no longer maintain his cool, stoic appearance; his face turned bright red, looking for all the world like he was constipated.

"Hahaha, no wonder your whole 5th Division ended up bald. That's revenge!" Rangiku clutched her stomach and rolled on the floor.

Kotetsu Isane, standing to the side, had also just learned the reason why and couldn't help but cover her mouth and laugh: "Hahaha, this Ryoka gentleman certainly seems to be a person with character... This method of retaliation is truly..."

She didn't even know how to describe the Ryoka's actions.

"Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough..." Tōshirō's face twitched as he coughed incessantly. Right now, he just wanted to find a place where no one was around and laugh to his heart's content... This Ryoka was just too childish!

The three of them laughed for nearly five minutes before finally stopping under the threat of Hinamori Momo, who had drawn her blade and was preparing to release it.

Tōshirō calmed his emotions and combed through the information he had obtained from beginning to end, but a doubt couldn't help but arise in his heart: "Why didn't the Ryoka kill anyone? Then what exactly is his purpose for invading the Seireitei?"

"Because of Rukia, it seems he came to rescue Rukia," Hinamori Momo replied.

Only then did Tōshirō and the others nod in realization. If that were the case, it would explain why the Ryoka didn't kill anyone.

"Regarding your account, I will repeat it to the Captain-Commander and the others tomorrow. You should just get some good rest here!"

The southern part of the Seireitei!

"Yachiru, are you really sure it's this direction?" Kenpachi Zaraki looked at the dead end in front of him, veins popping on his forehead. As the captain who had first taken an interest in Wu Biao, Kenpachi had been searching the Seireitei for more than half the night.

However, the two of them, born from the same source, clearly shared the same trait... their sense of direction was off the charts!

This resulted in the two of them getting lost under Yachiru's random directions, and lost to an absurd degree. Although they hadn't run in the exact opposite direction... it wasn't much better.

They had perfectly missed Wu Biao in the west and ended up in the southern part of the Seireitei.

"Ken-chan, there's absolutely no mistake, we should run that way!"

Yachiru pointed to the north, and Kenpachi Zaraki subconsciously ran in that direction. As for where exactly these two lost souls would end up, one could only say that no one knew...

--

(End of chapter)