What if she really hadn't understood my sarcasm?
No way. Was she really that stupid?
Maybe she really was that stupid.
The taste of the ice cream from the banana split still seemed to linger in her mouth.
She'd tasted every flavor of ice cream, eaten a ladyfinger, and taken a bite of the banana.
But she hadn't touched the little teddy bear cookie with the smiling face.
It hadn't tasted all that amazing, actually. Yu Qing couldn't remember why she'd thought it was so delicious as a child. Maybe kids just couldn't resist ice cream.
Actually, she seemed like a decent person.
Should I apologize to her?
No, no. What was there to apologize for? I didn't want to sleep, and she'd forced me to. When I refused to listen, she'd even tried to use force. She deserved to be snapped at.
Xiang Changge had no idea that the person on the bed before her was wrestling with such conflicting thoughts. Yu Qing's reactions and words hadn't seemed especially noteworthy to her.
In her eyes, it was good that Yu Qing got angry and yelled. That was better than her being lifeless, as if nothing could stir her heart.
The book wasn't about anything she was interested in, and Xiang Changge's thoughts began to wander.
"System, you said just now that you wanted to rub your face against Yu Qing's?"
The system, which had no idea why it had suddenly come up, said, "..."
A few guilty-sounding sparks of static mingled with its electronic voice. "W-What's wrong? Can't Tongtong just think about it?" Thinking about it wasn't a crime, right?
"Is thinking about it all you want to do?" Xiang Changge asked. "Want to actually try?"
The system: "!"
"What are you planning to do? Don't tell me you're going to say, 'Try it for this system'!"
The Plot Rewriting System shrieked as if it had just seen a wild boar charge into its vegetable garden. "No, no, no! You're not allowed to do that to our precious female lead! The female lead belongs to everyone!"
Author's note: System: Go away! [Sobbing][Sobbing]
Steward Xiang: [Droopy-eared rabbit head][Droopy-eared rabbit head]
Little Yu: [Question mark][Question mark]
-
①② from Suiyuan Shidan
Xiang Changge: "..."
"I'm not you."
She would never do something so rude and perverted.
System: "...Who are you calling perverted?"
Xiang Changge gazed up at the ceiling. "I'm hungry."
The system, at the end of its rope, said, "Don't pretend you can't hear me!" Not only was she ignoring it, she was even trying to change the subject.
Xiang Changge kept pretending she couldn't hear it.
After a while, the system made two beeping sounds like a person clearing their throat, then finally drew out its words. "8802, what did you mean by what you said just now?"
Did she really have a way to let it rub its face against Yu Qing's for real?
But it was only a system. It had no physical form; at the end of the day, it was just a string of data—or a brainwave, perhaps. How could it possibly rub its face against the precious female lead's? Sob, sob, sob.
Now Xiang Changge could hear it.
She didn't keep it in suspense and answered plainly. "Didn't I ask Yu Qing yesterday whether she wanted to raise a pig or a dog?"
She hadn't asked on a whim. Sure, part of her had hoped Yu Qing would stop being picky and leaving food uneaten, and eat a little more, but she'd also genuinely been thinking of getting Yu Qing a little pet.
A miniature pig or a puppy would both do.
Yu Qing thought there was nothing in this world she cared about, so she had no attachment to the world or to life. If she raised a little pet and formed a bond with it, might that change her outlook a little?
After hearing her out, the system fell silent for a moment, looking doubtful.
A while later, it finally asked, "You're not planning to turn me into some kind of pet, are you?"
Xiang Changge nodded, thinking that the system wasn't all that stupid after all.
"I've thought it over. Pigs make their business too smelly, so we can rule them out. Cats are too aloof, so a puppy is better. It can be clingy and keep her company. Besides, dogs are pretty smart, so no one will suspect anything."
"If you can turn into a puppy and stay by Yu Qing's side, you won't just get to rub your face against hers—you could even lick her. And if we actually got her a real dog, we wouldn't know whether it'd be well-behaved. There'd be too many unknowns."
They couldn't risk trying to heal Yu Qing with a dog and end up driving her away instead.
Thinking it over, having the system pretend to be a dog would be ideal.
The system was intelligent, and it was on her side. The two of them—"human and system," or maybe "human and dog"—could work together and keep Yu Qing happy every day.
After hearing Xiang Changge's plan, the system fell silent again.
A moment later, as if it had finally come back to its senses, it exclaimed in shock, "You actually want me, a highly intelligent being from a higher plane, to go and be a dog?!"
If it had a physical body, it would already be hopping around, maybe even leaping up to punch Xiang Changge a few times.
From ancient times to the present, and on into the future, it had never heard of a system becoming someone's dog!
Was that reasonable? Was it appropriate? Could it even work? How could it ever show its face as the Plot Rewriting System again? It was a system! How could it go and be someone's dog?
Xiang Changge paid no attention to the system's outrage and shock, remaining perfectly calm.
Once the system finished, she asked coolly, "You're not willing to be Yu Qing's dog, either?"
"For Yu Qing?"
The system thought it over again.
"For Yu Qing—"
"Being Yu Qing's dog is fine, hehe."
Xiang Changge: "..."
Was the system actually called the Yuqing-Brain System? It really did seem a little perverted.
System: "But..."
Although she and the system had reached an agreement, putting the plan into practice wouldn't be easy.
The system was already thinking further ahead. "A dog's lifespan is limited, and much shorter than a human's. In ten years or so, wouldn't you have to send me off, too? It'd be strange if I just kept living."
Xiang Changge thought it was looking too far into the future.
"We'll deal with that when the time comes. If you really manage to win Yu Qing over, I'm sure she'll think of some way to help you live longer."
"No matter what she does, I'm still a dog. At most, I'll live for a few decades, right? If I live any longer, Yu Qing will start wondering if I've become a spirit."
Xiang Changge was taking it all in stride. "It's fine. By then, maybe technology will have advanced enough for you to become a robot dog."
System: "..."
Did she think that was reasonable?
But whether it was reasonable or not, it was still a long way off.
Xiang Changge was multitasking, talking to the system in her mind while continuing to read the poem aloud. Maybe she was just reading too badly, because half an hour later, Yu Qing, who still wasn't the least bit sleepy, rolled over and lay on her back.
Hearing her move, Xiang Changge glanced at her and saw her staring straight up at the ceiling with her eyes open.
"..."
Xiang Changge looked at the ceiling, too.
There was nothing there.
Xiang Changge: "...Close your eyes and go to sleep."
At that, Yu Qing turned her face toward her.
With her drooping eyelids, colorless black eyes, and pale face from her irregular sleep schedule, she looked like a ghost without a trace of energy—or like someone who'd been working overtime for thirty years straight.
"I can't sleep."
Yu Qing spoke in a hollow voice, her face saying that life was meaningless.
Being forced to lie in bed when she wasn't sleepy was bad enough. And now, beside her, someone was chanting scripture like an ant colony. Anyone who knew would say Xiang Changge was trying to soothe her to sleep. Anyone who didn't would think she was performing funeral rites for her.
Was there really any point to this bedtime service?
Xiang Changge yawned, feeling as if she was the one about to fall asleep.
Unfortunately, the person who was supposed to sleep was the one staying awake.
She closed the book and stared at Yu Qing.
Looking at Yu Qing's empty eyes, Xiang Changge couldn't help asking, "What would it take for you to fall asleep?"
If she could lie there like that, she wouldn't need anyone to read to her and lull her to sleep. She could nod off by herself in two minutes.
"You..."
Yu Qing instinctively wanted to tell her to leave, but she wasn't sure Xiang Changge would agree.
At the last moment, she settled for something else and changed her words. "Don't talk."
"...All right."
All she had to do was lie quietly and wait to get sleepy. Whether Xiang Changge read or not didn't matter.
She'd only come here to make sure Yu Qing got into bed and stopped doing other things.
Picking up the copy of Suiyuan Shidan she'd brought with her, Xiang Changge lowered her head and read in silence.
So she really wasn't going to talk?
Then what was she doing here?
Watching to see whether I fell asleep?
When was she planning to leave?
Yu Qing glanced at Xiang Changge a few times.
Before you continue