Don't Send Me to Azkaban, Don't Send Me to Azkaban

Meanwhile, the Sorting Hat's soft muttering began to echo out of nowhere in his mind.

"Hmm... Holy shit! That name!"

Avada's eye twitched. He hurriedly muttered under his breath, "Don't send me to Azkaban, don't send me to Azkaban..."

"Not going to Azkaban?" the Sorting Hat asked in a faint voice. "Have you made up your mind? You could go far, you know. With just a thought, Azkaban could help you achieve greatness. There's no doubt about it..."

"What the hell?!" Avada cried in shock and anger.

"Ha ha, just kidding. You're so nervous, I couldn't resist. Don't worry, I can't sort people into Azkaban, and I won't do anything to you because of your name..."

The Sorting Hat let out an awkward laugh, then began to seriously analyze him.

"You don't seem very brave. You lack a little courage and drive, and you tend to think things through too much. Gryffindor wouldn't suit you..."

"You don't have much ambition, or much of a desire to control others. Slytherin won't do either..."

"You're certainly very curious, with a strong thirst for knowledge and a logical way of thinking all your own..."

"You're kind-hearted, diligent, and practical. You value friendship and keep your word. You also seem to like cooking..."

"Which one should I choose? Which one should I choose..."

Avada's face twitched again. He really wanted to ask what was going on.

The Sorting Hat hesitated for a full three minutes before finally calling out with difficulty, "Then... Hufflepuff!"

"Not bad."

Avada smiled faintly. The result was about what he'd expected.

He stood and walked toward the Hufflepuff table amid cheers and applause. He chose a seat toward the back, beside a handsome young wizard with brown hair.

"Cedric Diggory, second year. Nice to meet you, K." The boy named Cedric smiled and held out his hand to Avada.

Avada returned the handshake, understanding at last. So this was Hufflepuff's one and only claim to fame in the original story: the man who died at Voldemort's hands, was reborn as a vampire, and eventually became Batman—Cedric Diggory.

But this time, with him around, Cedric wouldn't die.

"Would you mind telling me..." Just as he was pondering this, Cedric nudged Avada and asked in a low voice, "What's the deal with your name? Why didn't even the professor read out your full name?"

"I'm afraid I can't." Avada smiled wryly. "Professor Dumbledore told me not to reveal my name to others too readily."

"Professor Dumbledore?!"

Cedric reacted just like Baron and Cho had. "All right, then. I'll tell people not to ask about your name, too. But don't worry, it won't affect your life at Hufflepuff. Nobody will care about it."

"Thanks," Avada said gratefully.

As the two chatted, the Sorting Ceremony drew to a close. After the last first-year was sorted into Ravenclaw, Dumbledore stood up and spread his arms toward the students, beaming with delight.

"Welcome, everyone! Welcome to Hogwarts!"

"I know you must all be starving and eager to tuck in. But I'm afraid I have something very important to announce before we eat. I'd like to welcome this year's new professor to our ranks."

He turned to someone at the High Table and gestured for him to stand, then continued:

"Professor Benjamin Baker will be teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. He's a member of the Defense Against the Dark Arts League. In his younger days, he adventured through Greece, Eastern Europe, and Africa, defeating countless dark wizards and dark creatures. He has a wealth of experience in dealing with Dark Magic. I'm sure his lessons will greatly improve your ability to defend yourselves against it."

A handsome man who looked to be in his thirties or forties rose from the High Table amid a round of applause and waved to the students with a smile. Tall and lean, he looked refined and gentlemanly, with no sign of having weathered many hardships.

"Well, I have only three words to say now." Dumbledore smiled and raised a hand toward the students. "Tuck in!"

At his words, the empty plates instantly filled with all kinds of food, sending up a warm, appetizing aroma. There were so many dishes that even Avada, who had lived two lives, couldn't recognize them all: British, Italian, French, Turkish, and Russian cuisine, and even several dishes that looked like authentic Chinese food and Japanese cuisine...

Then again, it made sense. With so few main dishes in British cuisine, it would be hard to fill a banquet table. At least the desserts were decent.

"Wow!"

Someone cried out in surprise, but not because of the food that had appeared. Dozens of translucent, pearly-white ghosts had suddenly emerged from the walls and beneath the tables, drifting around the Great Hall with all sorts of expressions.

"New students?"

A plump monk glided past Avada and the other Hufflepuff first-years. "Welcome to Hufflepuff, and I hope you enjoy the next seven years of studying here."

"Thank you. May I ask who you are...?"

"This is the Fat Friar, the Hufflepuff House ghost." A burly student who looked like a rugby player explained, "He was a clergyman in life. But the senior clergy suspected that his cure for pox was just poking farmers with a stick. On top of that, he was always conjuring rabbits out of the communion cup, so he was eventually executed."

"Cough. There's no need to bring up the past, Truman," the Fat Friar said crossly.

Cedric added, "He's the one who helps us with most of our History of Magic revision. Professor Binns's lessons are just..."

As he spoke, he picked up a piece of food he'd never seen before and tried it. Then he exclaimed, "What is this? It tastes amazing, and it's so unusual!"

Avada recognized the dish at a glance and tried a piece himself, raising his eyebrows slightly.

"It's Chinese roast goose. Pretty authentic."

"Looks like the House-elves have expanded their recipes quite a bit." Cedric couldn't help taking another piece and stuffing it into his mouth. After swallowing, he smacked his lips, still wanting more. "The food at the start-of-term feast is usually the best of the year. That's when they serve all kinds of dishes we don't normally get. I wonder when I'll get to eat something like this again... Um, roast goose?"

"If you're craving it that much, you could try getting along with Cho. She's the Chinese girl who was just sorted into Ravenclaw." Avada was working on a chicken pie as he made the suggestion. "I talked to her on the train. Her family used to live in Jiangnan, so she might know how to make it."

After saying that, he suddenly froze.

In the original story, hadn't Cedric and Cho been a couple?

If what he'd just said really brought Cedric and Cho together, was it just a coincidence, or was it something like fate? Like one of Trelawney's prophecies?

Once everyone had eaten their fill, the leftover food vanished from the plates in an instant, and the plates and silverware became spotless again. Dumbledore stood up once more, and the Great Hall fell silent.

"I expect everyone's eaten their fill by now, so I'd like to say a few more words. At the start of the term, I have a few reminders for everyone."

"First-years, take note: students are strictly forbidden from entering the woods on the grounds. Some of our older students would do well to remember that, too. Also, Mr. Filch, the caretaker, asked me to remind you not to use magic in the corridors between classes."

"Quidditch tryouts will be held in the second week of term. Anyone interested in joining their House team should contact Madam Hooch."

"And lastly..."

Avada keenly noticed the professors' faces twitch.

"Before going to bed, let's all sing the school song together!" Dumbledore waved happily, and rows of glowing lyrics appeared in midair. "Everyone can choose their own tune. Ready—sing!"

That night, Avada saw what it meant for all hell to break loose.

"Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hogwarts, please teach us knowledge~"

"Whether we're balding old men or children who've scraped their knees~"

"Our minds can take in some interesting things, because they're empty now, full of air, dead flies, and little scraps of rubbish~"

"Teach us something worthwhile, and return to us what we've forgotten~"

"You just do your best, and leave the rest to us. We'll study hard until we turn to dust..."

Wait, which little rascal was singing it to the tune of the Ilvermorny school song?!