I Want to Answer Everyone's Feelings (Continued)
The cold, virtual electronic voice began to repeat itself over and over again, and Kushida Kikyo sighed.
Before Kitagawa Ryo could be found, the final hearing meeting could not be held. While explaining the situation in the group chat, Kushida Kikyo sent a message to Karuizawa Kei. Although she was not familiar with Kitagawa Ryo, she thought that this person should be able to contact him.
"------!"
Having reached the limit of the pain from suffocation, Kitagawa Ryo lifted his head out of the water-filled bathtub and took a deep breath.
The lungs, which were almost empty and were groaning, began to greedily draw in oxygen.
Similar to the breath-holding game they used to play in the bathtub as children, Kitagawa Ryo smoothed his wet hair back, a glint of red light appearing in his eyes.
However, what he is doing now is not the same as the kind of playful breath-holding he did when he was a child.
To confirm whether you are in reality or still in a simulation...
After his breathing stabilized, Kitagawa Ryo continued to bury his head in the bathtub. The water rushing in through his nose and mouth quickly blocked the air from entering, and soon, his lungs began to gurgle again.
But... that's not enough.
He had reached his limit, and he still kept his head submerged in the water.
As if trying to suppress this self-harming behavior, my heart was beating much faster than before, and my brain was screaming, trying to pull my body back to reality.
Reality.
Simulation.
Life Restart.
Kitagawa Ryo's body went limp, as if he were about to faint. It was the illusion that all the strength in his knees and body was draining away.
A feeling of exhaustion, or... a feeling of near nothingness.
The line between life and death is beginning to blur.
Just as Kitagawa Ryo's consciousness began to fade and his thoughts started to fragment, an external force lifted his head from below, pushing his face, which was Kitagawa Ryo in water, back to the surface.
"Meow."
Hotaru shook off the water and nimbly jumped to the edge of the bathtub. As if trying to get Kitagawa Ryo away from there, she grabbed his collar and tried to drag him toward the door. But cats aren't that strong, and Hotaru could only turn Kitagawa Ryo's head slightly, no matter how hard she tried.
Under the influence of gravity, Kitagawa Ryo, who was originally lying on the edge of the bathtub, suddenly fell face up onto the bathroom floor. Fortunately, there was a non-slip carpet, so he didn't get hurt.
"--"
"Cough cough."
I was coughing and gasping for breath, and my vision was almost completely black. I couldn't see anything even when I opened my eyes. My lungs and throat were burning and stinging, and my nose was also very stuffy.
Hotaru jumped onto a nearby shelf, grabbed a dry towel, and slapped it across Kitagawa Ryo's face.
"Want to... cough, are you trying to suffocate me?"
As his consciousness and thoughts gradually returned, Kitagawa Ryo grabbed a towel with his right hand and haphazardly wiped his face.
His vision began to return, and he could see Ying staring at him with her large, kernel-like pupils.
After seeing that Kitagawa Ryo woken up, Hotaru gracefully swished her tail and took small steps to Kitagawa Ryo's face, sticking out her tongue to lick his cheek. It felt rough and prickly, but very warm.
Kitagawa Ryo lifted Hotaru up with both hands and then gently held her in his arms.
Race.
For Karuizawa Kei, sitting in the taxi at this moment felt like a race against time.
For the first time in her life, or perhaps the second, she felt an unprecedented sense of panic and helplessness.
The reason I say it might be the second time is because she had experienced and felt the same feeling before in her previous memories.
Similarly, all contact was abruptly lost, without any prior warning; neither phone calls nor messages were answered.
The consequence of that incident was that Kitagawa Ryo dropped out of Tokyo Advanced Nurturing High School and disappeared without a trace.
When this situation occurred repeatedly, no matter how hard Karuizawa Kei tried to comfort herself that she was making a mountain out of a molehill, her mood slowly sank into a cold abyss.
This time, she sensed that something was definitely happening.
The taxi was moving slightly, and a lot of things suddenly connected in my mind.
Over the past two years, Kitagawa Ryo has unintentionally displayed subtle emotional expressions and gestures on many occasions.
In the past, she wouldn't have thought much about it.
But now, it seems that all the events and all the details are being pieced together like jigsaw puzzle pieces, almost revealing the complete truth before her eyes.
But this truth always seems to be missing the most important piece, causing anxiety that is almost maddening.
Karuizawa Kei suddenly recalled the days after she dropped out of Tokyo Advanced Nurturing High School. After Kitagawa Ryo dropped out, she also chose to drop out without hesitation.
But Karuizawa Kei never found Kitagawa Ryo again. She spent almost all her time taking a train that circled the city, searching every corner of the city with all her focus by the window, from the starting point to the end, from Chenxi to neon lights, hoping that figure would suddenly appear in her eyes.
And now, through the car window, she sees hundreds and thousands of people of all kinds. Some are happy, with bright smiles; some are sad, with tears streaming down their faces; some are parting ways; and some are reuniting.
The girl sitting by the back window lowered her head slightly, inhaling softly. Her beautiful eyelashes trembled slightly. A bitter pain started in her heart and spread little by little. Karuizawa Kei, slender legs in the seat and buried her head in her knees.
People actually have a subconscious tendency to shield themselves from certain things. They are often unwilling to think about or mention things that cause them extreme fear and pain, because every time they think about it, they have to relive that pain, like digging open a scabbed wound with a sharp knife.
The scenes from that day are like thorns stuck in my heart, impossible to pull out.
A dazzling drone show, as spectacular as fireworks, an embrace on the rooftop, and the entire school's magnificent night view all served as a backdrop.
This is not a Confessions made by the person in question.
The scenery outside the car window flashed by, leaving a blurry trail of light and shadow, much like the thoughts and memories that Karuizawa Kei was replaying in her mind.
But in the end, only one simple thought remained in my mind:
She was going to talk to Kitagawa Ryo and make things clear, even if it meant explaining what she had been hiding all along.
Even though she hadn't even figured out how she should feel, what expression she should have, or what she should say when she actually met him.
But she didn't care about any of that; she just wanted to see him, at least...
Clearly state your preferences.
The taxi stopped near the Kitagawa Family. The right-side door was opened quickly, making a noticeable noise, as if due to the hasty action. Karuizawa Kei, dressed in a deep red performance outfit, hurriedly got out of the car.
She had just been rehearsing with the Theater Troupe, but after receiving a message from Kushida Kikyo, she immediately asked the Theater Troupe leader for leave and rushed straight to Kitagawa Ryo's house.
After all, apart from school, Theater Troupe, and home, Kitagawa Ryo has hardly been anywhere else in recent years.
As soon as she got off the bus, Karuizawa Kei lifted the overly long, ornate skirt that was hindering her movement and ran towards Kitagawa Ryo's floor in her round-toed leather shoes.
Arriving at the door, she took out the house key from her small bag. Kitagawa Ryo had already given Karuizawa Kei a spare key to her house, but she usually just preferred Kitagawa Ryo to open the door for her.
She quickly unlocked the door and pushed it open. Karuizawa Kei, who had already prepared for the worst, saw Kitagawa Ryo, whom she had been longing for, lying pale-faced on the wooden floor, motionless, as if asleep.
Karuizawa Kei hurried a few steps, almost tripping in the process, and immediately knelt down in front of Kitagawa Ryo, her slightly cool, soft hand touching Kitagawa Hiroshi's forehead:
"Liang, what's wrong? Are you sick? Don't scare me."
Feeling the warmth from his palm wasn't hot, Karuizawa Kei breathed a sigh of relief. Just as she was about to carry Kitagawa Hiroshi to the bed, she met his slowly opening eyes.
It was as deep and dark as ever, like a black hole, seemingly unmoved by any emotion.
"It's nothing... I'm just feeling a little unwell, probably from catching a cold recently. Why is Hui here?"
"Oh, I must have forgotten to say goodbye to the Drama Club when I left. My phone died, so there's nothing I can do."
Kitagawa Ryo's voice was also a little unsteady. He had just finished treating the wound on his hand, but perhaps because his head had been immersed in cold water for too long, he collapsed to the ground. He decided to rest there for a while, but unexpectedly ran into Karuizawa Kei coming in.
"I told you not to overwork yourself. Are you thinking that once I leave, no one will be there to look after you?"
Seeing that Kitagawa Ryo was alright, Karuizawa Kei finally felt relieved, and a slightly doting smile bloomed on her delicate face, which was lightly made up because of the rehearsal.
Her heart finally settled back down, as long as Kitagawa Ryo was alright.
"Would you like to lie down on the bed?"
"No... The blanket Hui bought me last time was too big and too soft. Sleeping on it felt like I was being swallowed whole. This floor's firmness is just right."
Kitagawa Ryo was too weak to even move a finger, and refused in a low voice.
"The floor is too cold. Shall I put a blanket on it for you to lie on?"
"You're not allowed to be willful."
Karuizawa Kei had no choice but to go along with Kitagawa Ryo and coax him. For some reason, when she talked to Kitagawa Ryo in this state, she always felt a little satisfied and happy.
"Oh."
Kitagawa Ryo swayed as he stood up, and after Karuizawa Kei roughly spread the silk quilt from the bed onto the floor, he collapsed back onto it.
"Hui, I want to sleep for a while."
After struggling for half a day, Kitagawa Ryo also felt tired.
This might be something others can't understand, but he's genuinely afraid—afraid that everything he has now is a lie.
It's as if the next time he opens his eyes, he will still wake up in that cramped basement.
"Okay, I'll keep an eye on it until it gets cold."
Karuizawa Kei answered while sitting next to Kitagawa Ryo.
She took his hand in hers. Karuizawa Kei's hand was a size smaller than Kitagawa Ryo's. It was a small hand that could easily slip into her palm, and it seemed as if it would break with the slightest pressure, melting away like the first snowflakes.
But it was very warm, and you could even feel it getting hot.
His usually expressionless face only relaxes slightly when he sleeps, returning to a calm expression befitting his age. Beneath his light bangs, his dark eyes finally close.
"The cut on my hand was from an accidental cut just now."
Kitagawa Ryo suddenly offered this explanation, and Karuizawa Kei nodded and gave a soft "hmm."
"You're not allowed to be so careless and hurt yourself again, and you're not allowed to disappear like that."
Karuizawa Kei seemed to want to flick Kitagawa Ryo's forehead as a warning, but in the end she just hooked his nose.
"I'll be very worried, and of course, a little angry too."
"If Ryo does something stupid, I will still be angry. Maybe Ryo won't like it, maybe she'll even hate me. Besides, I'm not perfect myself, and I make mistakes too. Honestly, I'm definitely not some big shot who can scold you."
However, even so.
"I will always be with Liang."
"Yes, I know."
Kitagawa Ryo leaned closer to Karuizawa Kei and gave his first clear answer.
If Karuizawa Kei, a girl, could find happiness, Kitagawa Ryo could do it now.
However, he could also sense the intentions of others.
He's not yet qualified to reciprocate everyone's feelings.
He gripped Karuizawa Kei's hand tightly, a slight stinging sensation emanating from the bandaged wound on his palm.
In the quiet environment, one could even clearly hear Karuizawa Kei's even breathing and heartbeat.
This is reality.
Confusion and worries vanished.
The destination has been set, but what lies ahead is an endless wilderness.
That's enough.
What we need to do now is to follow that path and reach the future we are meant to reach someday.
Sink your consciousness into your mind.
[Life Restart Simulator]
[Each time you participate in a life simulation, five talents will be randomly selected. Talent levels are divided into five tiers: white, green, blue, purple, and gold. After each simulation, players can choose one talent to solidify and retain for the next simulation.]
[Chapter: Horikita Suzune's Midwinter Phantom Dream]
[The first simulation of this chapter will follow.]
[Randomly selecting talents]