Achieved Ending: May I Win Your Heart

"Arisu, what a lucky child."

After uttering this profound remark, Chairman Sakayanagi seemed somewhat moved by the scene before him:

"Arisu's mother had the same thought in mind when she decided to give birth to her."

Kitagawa Ryo understood the implied meaning in Chairman Sakayanagi's words. Although he was only twelve years old, he was practically one of the most knowledgeable doctors in the world when it came to congenital heart disease.

Patients with severe congenital heart disease are generally not advised to have children, because the total blood volume of a pregnant woman increases by more than 30% compared to when she is not pregnant. During pregnancy, the enlarged uterus forces the diaphragm to rise, causing the heart to shift to the upper left, affecting blood flow back and also increasing the burden on the heart.

During actual delivery, as the uterus contracts and the mother pushes, her heart rate will increase involuntarily. After the baby is born, the abdominal pressure will suddenly drop, and placental blood circulation will stop. The burden on the mother's heart will suddenly increase, making her very susceptible to heart failure.

What's even more unacceptable is that, even after surviving these two life-threatening situations, the child born still has a considerable probability of inheriting the mother's congenital heart disease.

"It's like a painful cycle."

Chairman Sakayanagi said in a low voice that these were the words he had heard from the doctor when the doctor advised against it years ago, and the final facts proved that the outcome of things often does not change according to people's wishes, and the worst result did indeed befall this family.

"Actually, Arisu's mother wasn't the strong, perfect hero that Arisu imagined."

The man was lost in memories, and he murmured, as if laughing through tears:

"As she was about to give birth, she worried that the child might inherit the condition, and as a result, she developed quite severe prenatal depression."

"I can't sleep at night and often get caught up in inexplicable anxiety."

"I remember one night I woke up in the middle of the night and found she wasn't there. I ran out of the room and saw her sitting on a stool, curled up in the corner against the wall, asleep."

"I often took care of her back then because I didn't want to stay in the hospital."

As Chairman Sakayanagi spoke, he turned Kitagawa Ryo over, wiping Kitagawa Ryo's back with a towel and sighing:

"But compared to her, you really are pitifully thin."

"Back then, she kept asking me if she was too fat or ugly, and I always told her that since I was the only one looking at her, if she was still unhappy, I would just hug her until she was happy."

"Humans learn what warmth is through contact with each other. This is very important; the warmth of the skin is by no means a bad thing."

"It was during that time that I finally understood the meaning of that sentence."

Chairman Sakayanagi stopped talking at this point. He and Kitagawa Ryo both knew what happened next. According to Sakayanagi Arisu's pessimistic view, her birth ruined the lives of three people at the same time.

Her father's, her mother's, and her own.

"Arisu, this name was chosen for her by her mother in advance."

Alice.

"She had already read this fairy tale to Arisu before Arisu was even born."

"The message she wanted to give to Arisu is actually hidden in the last paragraph of this fairy tale."

Thanks to his Eidetic Memory, Kitagawa Ryo quickly recalled the last paragraph of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland from the original text. At the same time, Chairman Sakayanagi also recited it softly, but with slight differences from the original:

"Her little daughter will one day become a girl, lover, and wife just like her. May Alice retain the pure and loving heart she had as a child; may Alice also entertain her children with many wonderful stories; perhaps it was this very Wonderland from long ago that made their eyes brighter and more eager."

At the same time, she will also share Alice's innocent troubles, because these troubles exist in her own past, but they are pleasant summer memories.

Alice was born to the best parents and is the best child.

Kitagawa Ryo sleeping.

On one hand, it was due to the influence of his talent [Night Owl]. This talent was quite useful for him to deduce things at night in the past few years, but as he gradually lost his ability to move, it only brought him night after night of torment.

Like sand in an hourglass, sleep has gradually slipped away over these days.

The pitch-black night felt more like a tinted day to Kitagawa Ryo. He stared wide-eyed at the ceiling, as if time itself had been boiled down to a liquid that was no longer solid, and he was encased in it like amber.

He was still thinking about what Sakayanagi Arisu's father had said to him in the bathroom that night. Perhaps it was because he had kept it all bottled up inside for too long, or perhaps he had found the same qualities in himself as Arisu's mother. The man said a lot in one breath.

As a single father, the other party has actually done the best.

It's even difficult for Sakayanagi Arisu and Kitagawa Ryo to simply define whether her personality has any flaws.

With a morbidly energetic spirit, Kitagawa Ryo began to recall everything about Sakayanagi Arisu.

He gradually figured out the key point: rather than defining Sakayanagi Arisu as a defect, it would be better to define her as a flaw.

Physical deficiencies, family deficiencies, and deficiencies in the social environment.

Then, the lack creates repression.

That's why she sometimes shows a particularly persistent desire for something or someone, as if she's releasing all the emotions she's accumulated over the past in one go after finding an outlet.

She has experienced being loved too much, which makes her need to find another person to love.

Kitagawa Ryo recalled all the simulations he had had with Sakayanagi Arisu, and the other party had always shown an extraordinary possessiveness. However, the extraordinary nature of this possessiveness often did not refer to the degree, but rather to the reason.

Sakayanagi Arisu's reasons always seem unconvincing.

For example, in reality, Sakayanagi Arisu him because she hoped he could defeat Ayanokoji Kiyotaka of the White Room. However, the only interaction between Arisu and Ayanokoji Kiyotaka was when they were seven years old; they had only glanced at each other from afar through a one-way window and had never even exchanged a word.

Kitagawa Ryo even felt that if he didn't exist, Sakayanagi Arisu had to wait until high school, at Tokyo Advanced Nurturing High School, to meet and defeat Ayanokoji Kiyotaka.

Thinking of this, Kitagawa Ryo turned to look at Sakayanagi Arisu was sleeping on the other bed next to him. To his surprise, the other person was not asleep either, but had her eyes wide open, as if gazing at some point in the void.

But Kitagawa Ryo couldn't make a sound at all. His glasses had been taken off and placed on the bedside table next to him. The distance of a few centimeters was an insurmountable chasm for him.

"..."

So Kitagawa Ryo could only look helplessly at Sakayanagi Arisu, unable to utter a single word of comfort or inquiry.

Every part of his body was gripped by a dull, vague pain. Although Kitagawa Ryo couldn't even feel the pain, he knew that every organ and every broken part of his body was in excruciating agony.

The process of being sick is a process of fulfillment.

The premise is that you are the only person in the world, or that everyone else is a patient like you.

At this moment, Kitagawa Ryo finally understood some of Sakayanagi Arisu's thoughts. To him now, Sakayanagi Arisu, who could move freely, was a healthy person. And to Sakayanagi Arisu, everyone else in reality, even those she looked down on, like Yamauchi and Ike, were people she envied.

But this feeling is absolutely indescribable, cannot be spoken, cannot be thought of, yet cannot be forgotten. It cannot be put into language; it is impossible for it to become language, for once it becomes language, it will no longer be itself. Its domain is only in two places: the heart and the grave.

Kitagawa Ryo's breathing suddenly became rapid, as if a taut string had snapped, and he was completely plunged into boundless darkness.

Kitagawa Ryo was urgently transferred to the intensive care unit. Sakayanagi Arisu followed the nurse blankly into the ward where he had lived for five years, a ward that was all too familiar to Sakayanagi Arisu.

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) is not like an ordinary disease; there is no such thing as being able to move back home after improvement. In fact, every doctor and nurse here, and even Sakayanagi Arisu herself, knew that only the cruelest outcome awaited Kitagawa Ryo.

Sakayanagi Arisu came today to first collect some important items, and then gradually dismantle the ward back to its original state in several stages, preparing it as an ordinary high-standard ward for the hospital's next patient.

My mind is a complete mess, and it feels like when I come to my senses, everything has become a disaster.

With her father's words, which she had overheard outside the bathroom that day, flashing back in her mind, Sakayanagi Arisu walked straight to the enormous bookshelf she had given to Kitagawa Ryo.

She took out a thick notebook from there, filled with detailed analyses of symptoms and feasibility deductions for various treatment plans, all about congenital heart disease.

My finger turned to the next page, where a thick greeting card was tucked inside.

The act of turning the pages seemed to have woken it up, as a tinkling sound came from it.

Für Für Elise.

"I will cure Liang's illness."

It was my own handwriting from three years ago.

Something had been welling up in her deep purple pupils, and it finally overflowed.

Scattered sunlight cast patches of light into the ward. Although there was no wind, a whistling sound could be heard, like countless muffled little bells ringing incessantly.

Chapter 76: Achieving the Ending: Wishing for One Heart

There are three fundamental predicaments in life.

First, we are born destined to be ourselves, destined to live among countless others, and unable to fully communicate with them. This means loneliness.

Secondly, humans are born with desires, but their ability to fulfill those desires will never match their capacity to satisfy them. This is an eternal gap.

Third, people are born not wanting to die, yet they are born heading towards death. This implies fear.

Kitagawa Ryo finally adjusted his mindset. Although he was never someone who lacked emotions and was unable to empathize with others, and in fact he had taken care of the sick Hotaru for about four years, compared to Hotaru, Sakayanagi Arisu obviously precocious. While Hotaru was still pestering him to listen to the imaginary stories she made up and acted out, Sakayanagi Arisu had already abandoned the childish mentality of believing in fairy tales.

She is always aloof and invincible, so much so that people tend to overlook Sakayanagi Arisu imperfections.

Perhaps this was a deliberate choice by Sakayanagi Arisu. From the age of seven, or perhaps even earlier, she presumptuously defined herself as a genius, an existence transcending the realm of mortals. This statement sounds like a kind of childish boasting, even arrogance, but only after thoroughly understanding everything about Sakayanagi Arisu up to this point can one know that the root of this idea is actually just a simple sentence:

Parents are grateful for their children's excellence, and children are grateful for their parents' excellence.

Like a philosopher yearning for utopia, Sakayanagi Arisu may have longed for this kind of family relationship.

Desiring to defeat Ayanokoji Kiyotaka, this child, whom she had only met once in her childhood, was driven by her father's resistance to the White Room, and she was determined to prove him wrong.

[I cannot lose to any child nurtured in this facility; having inherited superior genes, I must stop this.]

That was probably what Sakayanagi Arisu was thinking at that time.

Then, as she grew up, Sakayanagi Arisu realized that she was out of place in this world, like a gear stuck in a machine.

Her childhood was missing half of what other children experienced—family, school, and social interactions.

Kitagawa Ryo had never personally experienced this feeling. He had always been a healthy person, and even in this simulation, his mindset remained unchanged because he subconsciously knew that this was just a fake simulation. Even though he was gradually losing sensation throughout his body, he would return to being a healthy person once the simulation ended.

So even when everyone around him cast pitying and concerned glances his way, he remained unmoved.

Outwardly, Kitagawa Ryo seems as strong as Sakayanagi Arisu, and even in the eyes of Chairman Sakayanagi, Kitagawa Ryo, who is suffering from a terminal illness, performs better than his daughter.

But that's not actually the case.

It wasn't until that night at the hotel that Kitagawa Ryo finally understood everything.

The catalyst is that pair of glasses, so close yet so far away. Unable to speak, unable to act, unable to embrace—it's all just a formality. Ultimately, it all points to [powerlessness], or rather, [willingness but lack of ability].

Kitagawa Ryo remembered the lost hat that Sakayanagi Arisu had told him about in real life.

A girl Sakayanagi Arisu came to the seaside and the wind blew away the gift her father had given her. She tried to retrieve it, something that even a six or seven-year-old child could easily do, but she couldn't.

She could only watch helplessly as the hat disappeared from her sight and was swallowed by the deep blue sea.

The process of being sick is also a process of fulfillment. Therefore, Sakayanagi Arisu should be grateful that she didn't have the more serious amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), that she can still walk with a cane, that she still has a loving father, that she...

This has never been a matter of optimists and pessimists dealing with a half-full glass of water.

Instead, all she could see around that half-full glass of water, within Sakayanagi Arisu's field of vision, was a full glass of water, but she had no other choice but to look at that half-full glass.

Therefore, Sakayanagi Arisu is a collection of contradictions.

On the one hand, she firmly believed that she was the most outstanding genius born from the combination of the best parents and the best genes, and Sakayanagi Arisu firmly believed this.

However, she also has to face her congenital heart disease, a congenital defect that has brought countless regrets to her life so far.

Sakayanagi Arisu never met her mother, but her father showered her with threefold love.

Sakayanagi Arisu suffers from congenital heart disease, but she is also a remarkably intelligent genius.

Sakayanagi Arisu believes she inherited excellent genes, but these genes, besides their blessings, also brought her flaws.

But it's too late now.

Kitagawa Ryo barely opened his eyes. He was surrounded by medical equipment. This was the intensive care unit, and even daily visits were strictly controlled. Family members could only peek at him from afar through the glass while wearing protective suits.

Moreover, Kitagawa Ryo is now completely terminally ill. The negative effects of [Heavenly Jealousy] are even more exaggerated than he imagined. However, this is partly due to his own disordered sleep schedule and his failure to treat himself as a patient.

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) has progressed to its late stage. Kitagawa Ryo has almost completely lost all self-care abilities, and even breathing, the most essential thing for survival, requires the assistance of a ventilator.

It's a bit ridiculous to think about it. He clearly drew the top-tier gold talents [Painting Saint] and [Erudite and Retentive] in this simulation, but he only seriously studied books for three or four years, and he had hardly ever touched painting. He only doodled once a few years ago with Sakayanagi Arisu.

No matter how extraordinary one's talent, it can be easily destroyed by disease.

Next time.

Kitagawa Ryo closed his eyes; he had given up on this simulation and placed all his hopes on the next one.

This was indeed his initial plan. The purpose of the first simulation, built around [Heavenly Jealousy] as the core talent, was to thoroughly complete the pathological research on Sakayanagi Arisu and the analysis of Sakayanagi Arisu personality.

The objective has been achieved.

But...

Kitagawa Ryo could hardly imagine the future of Sakayanagi Arisu in this timeline. He entered Sakayanagi Arisu's life in the most unreasonable way, and then left in the most unacceptable way.

In that instant, Kitagawa Ryo suddenly understood some of Sakayanagi Arisu's feelings.