Talk Therapy, Phase One (cont.)

Victims should be perceived as victims by the public.

If she could, Xue might prefer to never know the truth about the White Room, whether it was the rhesus monkey experiment or anything else. But the victims have the right to know all of this, just as knowing the root cause of an illness is essential for finding the right cure.

But ever since then, words like 'this was all deliberately created, artificial, intentional, and designed' have been constantly flashing through Xue's mind.

Just like the Truman Show.

When the line between truth and falsehood is blurred, even the most certain facts can become questionable.

So, when exactly did she begin to fall in love with Kitagawa Ryo?

Is it about living together as roommates day after day for an extended period?

No, because this was originally part of the rhesus monkey experiments.

But the rhesus monkey experiment merely provided them with a background for meeting and getting to know each other, creating an environment most suitable for them to care about each other.

Xue never doubted that as long as the two spent enough time together, she would definitely develop feelings for Kitagawa Ryo after prolonged contact.

Because they were among the rare people of the same kind in the White Room.

But in reality, the White Room didn't even give them that much time and patience; instead, it used a simpler and more brutal method to artificially accelerate the process.

Just like the knowledge in the textbooks we learn every day.

One plus one equals two.

Let's apply this formula to interpersonal relationships without a doubt.

When I see this boy, I blush, my heart races, I become speechless, and I want to get closer to him.

The White Room taught her this formula.

This is one of the root causes of the problem that Xue has been unable to truly confront to this day.

If this artificially imposed emotion is entirely false, then it can simply be discarded in the same way that it was treated with the once high and mighty researcher, Suzukake Tanji.

But this deep-seated stirring within me constantly clamors for its own authenticity.

But no one would ever call this a normal relationship, just as Yuki would never tell Sakayanagi Arisu and Amasawa Ichika about it.

Of course, there's also coolness.

This is a fact that absolutely cannot be said.

From this perspective alone, perhaps deep down, Yuki longs for a future where the White Room has not been destroyed.

Since she and Liang have already left that place, why should she be so focused on revenge and causing chaos?

What's happening inside, and what's going to happen in the future, should no longer concern them.

To be honest, even Xue herself was startled the moment the idea came to her, because even in an environment like the White Room, she was still willing to extend her kindness to everyone with a smile.

But after leaving that place, such extremely selfish thoughts began to grow wildly in his mind.

However, the White Room were eventually shut down.

Then, Xue saw that the person she least wanted him to see these things held the whole truth in his hands.

Even though Kitagawa Ryo herself never brought up the matter again afterward, and even handed over Suzukake Tanji to her so she could vent her anger, once a jumble of thoughts arose, they were impossible to control. Instead, they spread outwards like vines, impossible to stop.

Why did Liang refuse her father's Marriage Contract proposal?

Why has Ryo been so hesitant to make a choice between himself and Arisu?

Is it because she sensed it that she can no longer continue this deliberately artificial emotional relationship with me?

Was it simply because you felt sorry for me, the victim, that you didn't say no?

Liang likes herself.

This is a fact that was initially doubted but gradually confirmed.

I like coolness.

This is a fact that was initially certain but later gradually became doubtful.

But in the end, nothing could be confirmed.

Moreover, Liang wasn't the only one deliberately putting this matter off.

Isn't she the same way?

There's no way to force them; we must make them give us an explanation by today.

There was no way to back out and completely end this relationship that had started out of nowhere.

I'm afraid to hear a definite answer, afraid to receive a firm reply.

Later on, she might have even begun to enjoy this painful yet euphoric feeling, succumbing to this ambiguous and enchanting situation.

Wrong.

She wanted a definite answer from Kitagawa Ryo.

I want to tell him loudly, "I like you," and be able to repeat this Confessions without any hesitation, meeting his gaze.

But it's impossible.

Xue looked at herself in the mirror again.

Her features remained delicate even as she grew older, her body began to develop slowly with age, and her medium-length hair was now draped over her shoulders.

This is how I am, this is what snow is.

Her clothes were pure white, and the room's background was also very simple, which made her long, brownish-beige hair, which fell over her shoulders, seem rather bright and jarring.

If possible, she might prefer a hair color that better matches her name, a snow-white color.

Just like... that person.

"If I could, I'd want to start over before I was born."

She murmured those words unconsciously.

Born in a place that isn't White Room, and then falling in love with someone like an ordinary person, starting an ordinary romance that will never be filled with confusion.

[But in that case, you'd never meet, and he'd have no chance of falling for you.]

Such a voice abruptly reminded me.

Xue tried to refute herself, but soon found that she couldn't utter a single word. Her thin, bloodless lips moved slightly before closing tightly and pressing together into a thin line.

That's why she couldn't deny the White Room, because doing so would be tantamount to denying everything about herself and the other person.

Her relationship with Kitagawa Ryo may indeed have been a product of pressure, but without those methods and that environment, such a relationship might not have existed at all.

Even the most innocent childhood sweethearts won't stay in the same room in bunk beds for long, won't snuggle up to sleep in the same bed, and won't share each other's pain and lick each other's wounds every day.

He won't get hurt; he will grow up healthy and strong.

You'll meet many more other girls.

He will not be mistreated, and he will see a more wonderful world outside.

People's attention will not be focused on her alone.

He will have a loving and caring family and live a good life.

No parent from a wealthy family would tolerate their child constantly wanting to cling to them.

... the two of them will never even cross paths.

This is just part of the White Room Rhesus Monkey Plan.

But it did create for them a world that could not exist anywhere else in the outside world, a world for just the two of them.

Ryo was subjected to forced injections of addictive drugs and abuse in the White Room.

But that coolness made her feel a kind of heartfelt tenderness, like maternal love, and she wouldn't struggle or resist when held tightly in her arms.

Of course she wanted to save Liang.

But if Ryo really dies, then it would be better if she died with him.

This is not some kind of enlightenment, but something to be taken for granted.

At least the time spent in that pure white room wasn't a lie.

Xue saw the person in the mirror smiling at her, and it took her a while to realize that it was herself who was raising the corners of her mouth.

Spoiled orange juice and thick soup will no longer be drunk, and roses and lilies crawling with insect eggs will naturally be ignored, just as few people in a brightly lit metropolis will notice a certain unknown and distant star overhead.

Therefore, pure white must be pure white.

The White Room contained things she cherished, and things she disliked, but the outside world was the same.

There are always too many irrelevant people, yet the noise is exceptionally loud. People who know nothing about the things and people involved are willing to believe in fabricated relationships just by watching a few variety shows that last only a few tens of minutes.

She...

Maybe all you want is a bigger White Room.

Take the best and discard the worst to create the most satisfactory place.

But where are the essentials and where are the dross?

The snowflakes cannot be distinguished because they are intertwined and growing together.

Even though they were separate at first, they eventually merged into one.

Indeed, in this world, people are either emotionally impoverished or excessively emotional.

However, snow isn't someone who can live a long life based solely on imagination.

Because all her imagination did not stem from a child's initial curiosity about the world, but rather, like a kite string, it was tied only to one person.

Therefore, she was able to quickly sketch out the world she wanted in a short period of time.

Although it's supposed to be a bit larger than the White Room, the number of people needed to be reduced further.

The so-called Fourth Generation and Fifth Generation can all be removed, and no one else needs to appear. Her and Ryo's days and nights should be uninterruptedly connected, without having to share every minute and second of these twenty-four hours with anyone else.

The adults with ulterior motives, the adults with their own hidden agendas, the adults who only see this place as an experimental ground—all of them are characters who should not exist in this beautiful, pure white world. The ones who teach the two of them are not those so-called instructors, but rather gentler teachers.

Then, since it needs to be larger, the Matoba the White Room naturally cannot be limited to that corner of the mountains and forests, and her and Ryo's personal freedom should no longer be restricted.

You can go out anytime, anywhere, if you want.

The sunlight will be unobstructed, shining on every inch of their skin.

She wanted to watch the snow with him, and also to see the little squirrels on the pine branches after the first snowfall.

It doesn't matter if it's colder in winter; in fact, the colder and darker it is, the warmer and brighter they will appear.

It doesn't matter if the snow falls even heavier; it would be best if it snowed profusely, turning the sky and earth into a pure white wonderland, burying all the gray and yellow earth and unbearable memories beneath it. Then, they could build snowmen and have snowball fights on this pure white snow, covering it again with their footprints and traces.

But, a bigger world is enough.

That's enough; they could never see everything in their lifetime. Anything extra is unnecessary.

She didn't want him to see anyone but her, nor did she want him to go to places she couldn't reach, day and night.

She didn't want him to get hurt, but she also didn't want him to become overly strong.

She didn't want him to be bound anymore, but she also didn't want him to become free.

Why was that so-called rhesus monkey experiment only half successful between her and Liang?

Now, she has become that Cloth Mother, but Liang seems to be completely unaffected by the experiments back then.

The research results of that experiment clearly stated:

The monkeys raised by false Cloth Mother almost all exhibited a complete inability to integrate into the group after reaching adulthood and leaving their mothers. Furthermore, their individual physiological and intellectual levels were all below average, and they were even unable to mate independently.

The mere thought of replacing the subject with a cold image made her almost unable to suppress a strange, tingling sensation welling up from the depths of her soul, a sensation that seemed to tingle throughout her entire tailbone.

Perhaps until the very last day when Kitagawa Ryo forcibly ends the final simulation.

Xue hadn't figured it out; the subject of that statement was actually closer to herself.

Went on a blind date

On the third day after returning home, I was forced into blind date mode.

It is known that the woman works at a hospital, and the matchmaker said she is a bit overweight.

Um...