My Chat Group is Really Too Strange Chapter 6

"Himeko hadn't come by in a while, so I finally got to wait for you to show up." Ai-chan said with a relieved expression.

"Oh, right. The deadlines for some of these documents seem to be tomorrow."

"That's it, Boss! Ai-chan will be leaving first~ I'll leave this place to you!"

With that, Ai-chan prepared to make her escape.

However, Ai-chan had clearly not expected Mo Wang's hand to be even faster than she had imagined.

Mo Wang reached out, grabbed her in one swift motion, and instantly subdued her.

He lifted Ai-chan up as though he were carrying a chick.

What a joke! If he let Ai-chan run off, he would probably be buried in work here until he died!

Now he understood. They had made him captain just so they could find someone to handle the paperwork, hadn't they?!

"Ai-chan, could you explain these electricity bills? And why there are dozens of extra games listed under miscellaneous purchases?"

Mo Wang spoke to Ai-chan with an exceedingly "kind" expression.

"Th-that... maybe some Valkyrie applied for them herself?" Ai-chan turned her head away, already crying internally that she was doomed.

She had nearly forgotten that Mo Wang was the kind of guy who even knew where her secret base was.

"Hehehe. Ai-chan, you wouldn't want Theresa and Himeko to find out that you used Hyperion's public funds to buy games, figurines, all kinds of snacks, and secretly download pirated games, would you?"

Mo Wang gave Ai-chan a lewd grin.

"Y-you, what are you trying to do?! I'm warning you, don't do anything weird!" Ai-chan hurriedly hugged her flat chest, staring at Mo Wang as though he were a pervert.

As Honkai's number one idol—self-proclaimed—Ai-chan believed her looks were absolutely top-tier. Totally.

Looking at Mo Wang, could it be that now that he had something on her, he was about to give in to his beastly urges and do this and that to her?!

With her wealth of experience, Ai-chan's mind was instantly filled with all sorts of heart-pounding, blush-inducing scenarios.

Looking more carefully, Mo Wang's looks actually weren't bad. He could even be called a little handsome.

If he wanted to do that sort of thing to her, should she agree or not?

However, just as Ai-chan began to blush, Mo Wang tossed a pile of documents straight into her arms.

"Alright, then I'll leave these to you. Once you're done, remember to call me over to stamp them. As for me... I'm outta here!"

Before Ai-chan could react, Mo Wang had already fled in a flash.

Ai-chan stared blankly at the documents in her hands, then at the Mo Wang who had vanished without a trace, and immediately exploded.

"Mo Wang, you bastard! Get back here!"

At seven in the evening, inside the Hyperion Captain's Office.

Mo Wang was currently like a robot, continuously stamping document after document.

On the floor beside him, Ai-chan had turned into a chibi version of herself. Looking utterly burned out, she lay sprawled on the ground.

White smoke continued to rise from her head, making her look thoroughly dead.

"Th-there are still these few documents! As long as I can finish them, I'll be able to..."

Mo Wang looked painfully at the documents before him. For a master slacker like him, being forced to finish so much repetitive paperwork in a single day was no different from being told to kill himself.

Mo Wang wanted to escape, but Theresa and Himeko, who had long known his true nature, had obviously come prepared.

To prevent Mo Wang from getting out, the two of them had directly locked the office.

Until he finished all of this, they had no intention of opening the door.

Even worse, they had not only set the internet to local-network mode, but had also activated a system monitoring program.

The moment he slacked off even a little, the two of them would know within a second.

"Damn it! Couldn't those bastards just hire a clerical worker specifically to do this?!" Mo Wang looked in anguish at the stack of documents still half a meter tall before him, already losing the will to live.

Mo Wang lay sprawled across the desk, his stomach beginning to growl.

He thought it over carefully, and the more he thought about it, the more something felt wrong.

Why was being captain of the Hyperion so different from what he had imagined?

He carefully recalled the game's plot and realized that whenever the Hyperion deployed, either Himeko, the combat-oriented captain, directed the battle, or Theresa took command.

Although Himeko had nominally stepped down as captain for the time being, she was still the highest-ranked Valkyrie in the Far East Branch aside from Theresa. Whenever there was a mission, she was guaranteed to deploy!

So wasn't the actual command authority still in Himeko's hands?

Then what was the point of having him as captain?

"Damn it! So I'm just the clerical worker they brought in, huh?!" Mo Wang somehow pulled out a bag of salt and slammed it hard onto the desk.

But after venting, Mo Wang immediately wilted again.

That brief burst of anger had completely burned him out.

Now, all he wanted was to be a salted fish in peace.

Tell me, for a perfectly good clerical position, couldn't they have just picked anyone? Why did they have to choose this useless salted fish to be the captain?

It couldn't be because he'd secretly written some smut about a certain Bishop, with one of the leads being a fox, and gotten found out, could it?

He'd clearly used an anonymous account and the school's public computers whenever he posted it...

Just as Mo Wang began letting his imagination run wild, wondering whether he should brag about it to his other selves, the door to the Captain's Office suddenly opened.

Kiana slipped cautiously through the crack in the door, looking shifty-eyed and suspicious.

"Kiana? How the hell did you get in here?"

Mo Wang froze the moment he saw the white-haired little ball entering.

"Shh, keep it down! I stole Auntie's Key and snuck in."

Only after glancing around and confirming that no one else was in the office did Kiana slowly walk in, carrying a basket.

"Damn, you actually stole Theresa's Key?" Upon hearing that Kiana had gotten the Key from Theresa, Mo Wang first marveled at her audacity, then felt like it was nothing unusual after all.

After all, Kiana had stolen plenty of snacks and comics from Theresa before.

"So why the hell are you here? Let me make this clear first: no snacks, and I'm not lending you my game account either! If you want to play games, go borrow one from Bronya yourself. I'm very busy right now." As he spoke, Mo Wang pointed at the stack of documents in front of him, which was a full half meter high.

"Ptooey! What are you talking about?" Kiana snapped, then shook the basket in her hand.

"Ahem. Mei heard that you'd been dealing with official business all day and still hadn't eaten, so she had me bring you dinner."

"Hm? Food made by Mei? You're actually nice enough to bring it to me?" Mo Wang stared at Kiana suspiciously.

After all, anything Mei made usually didn't survive more than half an hour around Kiana.

This girl was really kind enough to bring it to him?

"L-let me make this clear first! I only came because you looked like you were working too hard. So... it's definitely not because I lost the contest and came to be your maid." Turning her head away with a tsundere look on her face, Kiana handed the basket to Mo Wang.

"Huh?" Mo Wang stared at Kiana blankly.

So she'd actually come because of that?

Wait, she really came to be his maid?

Mo Wang had only made that bet so that he could tease her about it whenever they argued in the future.

He never expected Kiana to take it seriously.

"Hey! Are you going to eat or not? If not, I'm taking it back." When Kiana saw Mo Wang continuing to stare at her, her face instantly turned red.

"I'll eat, I'll eat. Oh? These really are sandwiches made by Mei." Mo Wang opened the basket and found three exquisite sandwiches neatly arranged inside.

As someone who frequently mooched meals, Mo Wang recognized at a glance that Mei had made them.

"Yep, that's the taste! Absolutely authentic!" Mo Wang picked up a sandwich and stuffed it into his mouth.

He even gave her a thumbs-up while doing so.

"Wait, when you brought me food this time, didn't you bring anything else?" After finishing one sandwich, Mo Wang checked the basket Kiana had brought.

It seemed that there really was nothing inside besides sandwiches.

"What else would there be?" Kiana scratched her head. She didn't seem to have forgotten anything.

"I mean, where did you hide Mei's **? Tell me, did you hide it?" Mo Wang pointed at the basket as he spoke to Kiana.

"What kind of thing is that supposed to be?! If there really were something like that, I'd want some too!" Kiana was furious. Sure enough, nothing decent ever came out of this guy's mouth.

"Heh! You say you want it? You're clearly just lusting after Mei's body, you shameless slut!"

"Like you aren't? You were clearly always staring at Mei's body too," Kiana retorted irritably.

"Kiana, you still don't understand. I genuinely want to know what it tastes like." Mo Wang wagged a finger.

Sure enough, Kiana still didn't understand the thoughts of their old Honkai crowd.

Mei's ** and beautiful-girl-flavored instant noodles—those were two mysterious delicacies rumored throughout the Honkai world!

They were things every captain longed to try.

As a foodie, he really was curious about what those two things tasted like.

"So, there really isn't any ** to drink? If there's none from Mei, yours isn't out of the—"

"No! Don't even think about it!"

Kiana practically wanted to shoot this foul-mouthed bastard on the spot.

Fortunately, they had known each other for more than a year already, so Kiana had long since gotten used to him never being serious.

"Phew, I'm full, I'm full. I finally feel alive again. It really has to be Mei's cooking." After finishing all three sandwiches, Mo Wang finally felt as though he had come back to life.

He had planned to handle some of the remaining documents while his salted-fish syndrome hadn't acted up yet.

But Mo Wang noticed that Kiana was still sitting on the sofa nearby, staring at him the entire time.

That look in her eyes was like a kitten waiting for someone to play with it, and it made him feel uncomfortable all over.

Mo Wang stroked his smooth chin, seeming to understand what she meant.

Just then, he actually pulled a game console out from beneath his desk.

"Uh, wanna play together? I just bought the latest Honkai Domain."

Mo Wang handed Kiana a controller and issued a challenge.

"You actually hid something like this here?! How did you manage that?"

Kiana froze on the spot when she saw Mo Wang pull out a game console.

No, hadn't this guy just moved into this office? How had he managed to pull all this stuff out from under his desk?

"Don't question a gamer's business. Are you playing or not?"

Mo Wang waved the controller again as he spoke to Kiana.

"Of course I'm playing!" Kiana snatched the controller from Mo Wang's hand and naturally sat down beside him.

The two of them had secretly done this together more times than either could count.

They were already extremely practiced at it.

"Come to think of it, do we have snacks for gaming?" Kiana asked Mo Wang while skillfully logging into the game.

"I mean, are you still Kiana the Great Sage? You came here and you're still eating and taking stuff?"

Though Mo Wang complained, he still pulled out a pile of snacks and several bottles of cola from behind the sofa.

A professional slacker could skillfully produce all kinds of supplies no matter what environment he was in.

If Theresa and Himeko found out that, in this room where they had practically installed all-around, dead-angle-free surveillance, Mo Wang had still hidden so many things for slacking off, they'd probably be furious enough to explode.

But that was no longer any of their business.

Because the two had already begun their game.

Daily Failure Log, Day 4: I started posting the book on Monday, and today I finally completed the contract signing. The long marathon of getting signed was finally over.

I really took such a long detour.