I Didn't Come to Hogwarts to Be the Dark Lord
Chapter 44

I'm a Three-Headed Dog! I'm Super Fierce!

1,507 words•5 min read•5 views
10d ago•

Harry's mouth fell into an O. He'd never seen anyone open a door in such a brazen way.

But he had to admit, this surprise-filled entrance had been incredibly effective.

Fluffy had caught the scent of someone outside and was ready to give them a big surprise the moment the door opened. Instead, the door came flying across the room and smacked him squarely on the nose. Hagrid's "little darling" was, without question, a ferocious beast.

Two and a half meters tall at the shoulder, with three heads as big as barrels, he was written as a three-headed dog but read as a little darling. Originally from Greece, he was the sort of vicious creature that made local wizards shout and Apparate away the moment they saw him. As the guardian of the underworld in Muggle mythology, he had an imposing build and a fearsome face—enough to keep children from crying at night.

All six of his eyes had clearly seen the door flying toward him. But with a steel chain as thick as a wrist around his neck, he didn't have much room to move. All he could do was watch as the cold wooden door smacked him right in the face.

"Yow! Woof, woof!"

The unexpected force knocked Fluffy out of his tough-guy act. He felt a little aggrieved. Hadn't they agreed he'd come here and get all the meat he could eat every day, in exchange for sleeping and scaring little wizards who came looking for thrills on nighttime wanderings? But it was daytime! Dumbledore had never said anyone would hit him with a door!

"Whoa!" Harry cried out again. "He's huge!" He took two steps back, away from the doorway.

The giant dog crouched behind the door had startled him a little.

"But, Ezio, did you make him cry?"

Kindhearted little Harry felt sorry for the dog. Those two loud bangs—thump, smack—had sounded painful, and the door had hit him square in the face.

"Did I make him cry?"

Ezio looked up and met the eyes of the middle head—the very one that had been struck by the door.

"Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!!!!"

The moment Fluffy locked eyes with Ezio, he bared his teeth and lunged like a rabid dog. Now he was genuinely angry. He shoved one enormous head right through the doorframe, but that was as far as he could go. He couldn't get out. Hagrid had given him a chain sturdy enough to tie up a Dragon in a knot. Three-headed dogs were strong, but Fluffy wasn't grown yet. He was only a little over a year old and nowhere near strong enough to break free.

Watching the huge dog bark furiously at him and spray spittle everywhere, Ezio scratched his chin. Then he reached into his bag and pulled out a wooden carpenter's mallet—the kind most people wouldn't normally carry around. Its head was nearly as big as a human head.

With the doorframe blocking his view, Fluffy couldn't see what was happening outside. All he wanted was to scare the two little visitors into running off in terror. They had no business interrupting his nap in broad daylight.

Just then, Harry took two more steps back, because Ezio had already raised the mallet!

"Hyah!"

With a sharp grunt, he swung the mallet in an arc and brought it straight down on Fluffy's watery nose. In an instant, the barking stopped, replaced by a piteous "Aowu!" that filled everyone's ears.

"There. Now he's crying." Ezio put away the mallet, satisfied, and used Scourgify to clean the drool off himself.

Fluffy quickly retreated behind the door and curled into a cowering ball. He licked his nose with his big tongue, then cautiously touched the tip with a paw thicker than a man's waist. The pain made him shudder.

"You could at least check who's here before barking your head off! Think you're tough, huh?"

The man who'd kicked in the door pointed at Fluffy and delivered a scolding fit for his owner.

"Hm?" Fluffy's three heads looked at one another, confusion in their eyes. "Woof?"

He seemed to be asking, "Do I know you?"

"Hagrid told me all about how he fed you milk when you were little."

Ezio picked at his ear. He made time to visit Hagrid almost every week, partly to unwind and partly to pick up magical ingredients that were hard to find on the market but could be found in the Forbidden Forest. He didn't mooch, though. He'd written to the Three Broomsticks and ordered Hagrid more than ten casks of his favorite whisky.

Once Hagrid had had a drink, he'd tell Ezio just about anything. He trusted Ezio a great deal, and Ezio had even invoked Dumbledore as a character witness, so Hagrid had spoken freely.

"Hagrid even tried to set you up with Fang, didn't he? I honestly don't understand what he was thinking. You were only three months old at the time. Good thing Fang was such a coward, or I'd have worried for his life."

After hearing that, Fluffy began to believe Ezio. After all, only he and Hagrid would know something like that. But Fang... One of Fluffy's heads grinned and snickered. Even if Fang had been brave enough back then, he wouldn't have been enough to fill a single one of his stomachs. Did people really think a three-headed dog was just an ordinary dog with two extra heads?

By the time he was one, he'd been running wild through the Forbidden Forest. Only a handful of magical creatures posed any real threat to him. Once he was grown, he'd be the forest's top dog. Even a Dragon would curse furiously and flap away after getting bitten by the venom his mouth produced.

High resistance to magic, speed, strength, three hearts and three lives, corrosive poison in his mouth—he was at the top of the food chain, just like a Dragon. Apart from not being able to fly, he had nothing but advantages. He could even take turns sleeping with his three heads and stay alert twenty-four hours a day. The ultimate guard dog. He was incredibly difficult to tame, but once tamed, he was very well-behaved.

Once Fluffy realized the visitors might be friends, he came over with a doggy grin and cautiously sniffed Ezio and Harry. Sure enough, they both smelled like they'd spent plenty of time with Hagrid. Anyone Hagrid had treated to Rock Cakes had to be one of his own.

His long tail, part snake and part Dragon, whipped back and forth behind him, snapping so loudly it sounded like a sonic boom.

"Woof!"

Fluffy lay down, all three heads lined up side by side. Hagrid had raised him from puppyhood, and he'd even been on the receiving end of his adoptive father's loving iron fist. That had made him much more docile than other three-headed dogs. If Fluffy hadn't been obedient and clever, Dumbledore wouldn't have brought him here to guard the door. He knew Fluffy had good judgment: he wouldn't actually hurt the little wizards, just scare them when told.

"You know him?"

Harry looked at Ezio and the big dog wagging his tail in surprise.

"You were still riding Buckbeak at the time. Hagrid and I were chatting at his place when we got to talking about Fluffy."

"Fluffy? A male? Then how did he and Fang—"

"Female." Ezio shook his head, then stepped through the doorway and rubbed Fluffy's enormous head. "Don't expect Hagrid to be any good at naming things. He just makes them up. But female three-headed dogs are bigger than the males, and they look more imposing, too."

"Don't go scaring people like that again, all right?"

Fluffy let out a few soft whines as Ezio rubbed him. He'd been a little bored these past few months.

"Next time I visit, I'll bring you some fresh beef. Sorry I hit you on the head just now."

The ferocious dog had become perfectly docile. Hearing there'd be an extra meal made Fluffy even happier. Those two hits had hurt, sure, but nothing compared to Hagrid's loving iron fist. When Fluffy was little, he'd chewed through Hagrid's bed. Hagrid had pinned him down and given him a proper beating, and Fluffy had howled miserably. Hagrid had spent ages trying to fix the bed without success, then slept on the floor all night. He'd woken up in a bad mood.

The enormous dog had given them both the chance to satisfy their urge to pet him. Fluffy's coat was smooth and soft, and felt amazing to the touch. After they promised to visit again, Fluffy wagged his tail and obediently saw them off.

"Mm, I got some three-headed dog venom, too. This stuff's valuable. It's hard to find on the market."

Ezio put away his spoils, satisfied. Since he'd come all this way, he couldn't go back empty-handed. If he sold the ingredient, it'd be worth enough to buy Fluffy ten cows. It was worth more than gold.

End of Chapter
Novel
How was this translation?

Explore the wiki