Chapter 175
"Teacher, wake up..."
Her voice trembled slightly as she shook the woman, but shortly after saving herself, the woman fainted from her injuries and the air in the fire.
As for her, being a Magic girl, she has better physical abilities.
She wanted to carry the woman away and escape, but she was still filled with fear, and perhaps even she herself couldn't escape.
What should we do in this situation?
Kuroki Yuka burst into tears, desperately trying to call for help as she cried.
"Who will save us...? Magic girl? Where is the Magic girl?"
She cried out for the Magic girl in despair, but was quickly choked by the scorching air and felt as if her lungs were about to burn out.
Her breath gradually dried up, preventing her from continuing to shout.
Kuroki Yuka's tears dried in the flames, and in the end, she simply lowered her head with a somber expression.
Of course, no one will come.
In moments of despair, calling out the name of Magic girl seems to bring hope, and many people have had this expectation.
But for her, that hope was never answered.
Long ago, during the transformation's reversal, she watched helplessly as her friend was beyond saving, desperately calling out the name of Magic girl.
But no matter how long she called out, the Magic girl did not come.
The Magic girl never responds to her expectations.
Even this time is no exception.
Unable to call out, she gripped her Magic Wand with trembling hands.
The Magic Wand had a single black wing, like a bird with a broken wing that could not take flight.
But the Magical Girl Dark Feather, just like before, did not respond to her.
"Please... move it, please... why won't it move?"
She must look ridiculous right now.
A Magic girl who can't even transform.
No matter how many times I called upon the Magic Wand, it wouldn't budge, like playing with a toy with a dead battery.
Kuroki Yuka released her grip.
The Fallen Heaven landed on the ground with a crisp, clanging sound, its tattered Feather Wing falling limply to the ground like a bird whose wings had been burned off by flames.
She failed again.
It felt like I'd had countless nightmares.
Kuroki Yuka never knew why she was chosen as Magic girl.
Even Black Magical Girl probably has some unique qualities.
But she didn't.
She probably only inherited her mother's looks, and is fairly cute; otherwise, she's almost entirely useless.
Lacking independent thought, only good at pleasing others, weak and lazy.
They lack backbone in everything they do and like to give up halfway.
I have some kindness, but it's only to the point that I feel a little sad when I see someone's misfortune online, and I won't do anything special besides sympathy.
There's nothing wrong with someone like her.
But why did she, who wasn't particularly special, become Magic girl?
Even after gaining that special power, she was repeating her failures in reality. When the fire broke out, she couldn't reach out to her friend in the flames and simply collapsed.
If only it had just been a nightmare.
But her friend's voice kept echoing in her mind, rising gently, asking her in the dark and silent world.
Why... didn't they save me?
That's because I'm very weak.
I'm so sorry I couldn't save you back then. I feel so guilty that my weakness and arrogance caused you to be trapped in the fire. I still hate my own weakness to this day.
I am so wretched that I couldn't reach out my hand to you.
I wish I could be a little stronger.
'You are always... cowardly and selfish, retreating when you're afraid.'
I am cowardly and selfish; I shrink back when faced with things I'm afraid of.
When those girls say nasty things to you, when you stand alone in a dimly lit corner, when you're caught in a fire and all alone.
I clearly wanted to help you, but in reality, I did nothing.
I was an accomplice to those people.
Like them, I hurt you, and in the end, I caused you to suffer a tragic end. That pain has left scorched marks, which are still etched in my heart.
Why am I so pathetic? I always think to myself.
'Fraud.'
I don't want to see you anymore.
That might be right.
Everything was wrong from the very beginning.
I am not suited to be a Magic girl, or even to be anyone. I am not loved by anyone, nor needed by anyone. I am utterly useless, and naturally, I cannot stand before you.
A despicable soul, a shameful inner self, a weak heart.
Who needs me, really?
This fact causes me pain; why was I born?
If even one person calls out to me, needs me, perhaps I can muster a sliver of courage.
But I still failed.
'I wish you didn't exist.'
'Why wasn't it you who got burned?'
'I wish you had died in that fire.'
Even now, I'm imagining your voice.
That was actually me cursing myself.
I was always belittling myself, constantly thinking that one day I would face a tragic end, hoping that this would be my salvation.
I wish I didn't exist.
I wish I had been the one burned that day.
I wish I could have died in that fire.
Even though this would make my mother sad, I still can't help but think that way.
I don't know what to do anymore.
So I became immersed in nightmares.
I trapped myself in a nightmare that caused me pain and torment, constructing a false past.
I wish I could die here, weeping, and never wake up again.
Everything should be flawless.
But why is that?
This nightmare world, which should have been filled only with your curses, has now been invaded by the voices of others?
A sound I never imagined.
A voice clearer and colder than yours.
'I can't even solve my own problems, how could I possibly help you solve yours?'
The woman's voice was very strange.
Although she wasn't particularly gentle, she still gave me a sense of comfort.
Even though it needed help more than I did, it still called out to me, appearing there when I was wavering.
Therefore, this also confused me.
What is the reason I exist here?
I must have come into this world, and stood here, to have some kind of meaning, right?
I hope someone needs my help.
If I can do something meaningful, perhaps I will also gain some meaning.
Perhaps if I muster just a little more courage, I can reach out to you that day.
'What nonsense are you spouting? You're acting strangely right now; you should just die!'
That's strange.
Suddenly I understood.
Your voice always sounds strange.
She was so gentle in my memory, but here she is so cold and Malice.
You should never be able to make a sound again.
Why are you still babbling on and on?
I think I've given up on everything from the past. I intend to decay in the past with you, so that I can once again escape the reality of the mistakes I made.
But before that, I want to do something more.
So, please don't stop me this once.
Let's be quiet.
The flames were getting closer to them.
In this gray world, only they possess a terrifyingly scorching color.
Kuroki Yuka often thought that he might one day be consumed by these flames again.
Just like the scar on her neck.
This time it will also fail.
Even the Magical Girl Dark Feather is very weak.
How could such frail Feather Wing, which fear even flames, possibly fly?
Therefore, when facing the Magic girl Fate Kite, she would be mercilessly defeated.
She always fails in the flames.
Because he couldn't quickly defeat the Monster in the inferno, he was unable to save his friend.
Because it lost to the dazzling flames of the Fate Kite, it failed to become a stronger version of itself.
Because she now fears the flames, she will also witness Teacher Haihara die here.
His dim eyes, reflecting the flames, silently watched the woman fall in the fire.
After a while, she reached out and touched her Magic Wand on the ground again.
She slowly picked it up and held it in her hand.
Kuroki Yuka gazed at the Magic Wand that had fought alongside her all along, a wand that, despite being almost entirely part of her nightmares, had still accompanied her to this point.