What Kind of Prank Is It to Crawl Into Someone Else's Bed Without Permission

Tuesday, the morning sun slanted in through the window, and I opened my eyes slightly. Feeling a bit drowsy, I noticed there was no sound coming from the kitchen; it seemed I had woken up earlier than usual.

Thinking this, I looked around:

--A wall clock pointing to five o'clock, --Morning light filtering through the gap in the curtains, --Hiyori hugging my arm tightly and acting spoiled on my right, --Sakanayanagi wrapping her arms and legs around my left arm.

...Wait? Did I just see something that shouldn't be there?

I rubbed my eyes and looked at my left arm—Sakanayanagi was indeed clutching my arm, her legs wrapped around my ankles as she slept soundly.

"Hah?!"

Faced with this unexpected situation, I couldn't help but cry out.

What the hell? How did she get here? Although Sakanayanagi does occasionally come over to stay...

But she always contacted me in advance; this time, I hadn't received any notice at all, and before going to sleep, there were only Hiyori and me in the bed!

It seems she must have snuck in while I was asleep. But why? Although Sakanayanagi is occasionally unpredictable, this kind of uninvited night raid was truly beyond imagination.

"Mmm~..."

Just as my head was filled with question marks, Sakanayanagi seemed to be woken up by my shout. She rubbed her eyes, looked around, and upon meeting my gaze, she revealed a bewitching smile:

"Good morning, Hachiman... Although it was a bit intense for both of us last night, it felt good, didn't it?"

"Hah?!"

This explosive statement made me cry out again. Wait, what could she possibly be talking about... No, no, that kind of thing is impossible!

I forced myself to stay calm and retorted: "That... what are you talking about?"

"Still playing dumb..." she drawled, dragging out her tone, "I was... a first-timer, you know?"

"Stop lying! You're fully dressed, and besides, there's no suspicious scent on the sheets!"

Once I calmed down, I saw through the lie immediately. Although I was startled at first, the current situation was obvious.

Caught in the act, Sakanayanagi giggled and nodded: "Correct answer~ You're quick to react."

"I can at least judge that much. So, explain: why did you come here uninvited early in the morning?"

That was the main point. While Sakanayanagi often stayed over, this was the first time she had broken in without permission.

"Well..." she answered nonchalantly, "because I wanted to sleep with Hachiman."

Her direct approach made me blush instantly. While Hiyori's natural remarks were lethal, this kind of deliberate teasing was just as devastating. If these two were to exert their efforts at the same time, the world would surely fall into chaos.

"Understood. But please contact me in advance next time, okay?"

"Sorry about that~ But I just wanted to see the look of surprise on your face."

"Sneaking into someone's bed is a terrible prank! And stop suddenly calling me by my first name!"

"I know, I know. But Hachiman should also take responsibility for making me shy, right?"

"Huh? I haven't bullied you recently, have I?"

I had indeed retaliated by blowing into her ear when she teased me before, but I hadn't done anything like that for the past week.

Rarely, a blush appeared on Sakanayanagi's face. Under my confused gaze, she spoke softly:

"Yesterday..."

"What about yesterday?"

"When you confronted Ryuen yesterday, didn't you make a lot of important declarations about me? As a bystander... hearing them was super embarrassing."

Wait! She saw my negotiation with Ryuen?

What did I say back then? It was something like...

"Watch your phrasing. I don't treat others like chess pieces the way you do. Hiyori and Sakanayanagi... are more important to me than myself."

"If it were just a normal class competition, I wouldn't interfere... but if you dare to trample on Sakanayanagi's dignity, I will crush you completely."

"Yeah... it's only recently that I've truly realized the importance of Sakanayanagi."

...Oh god! Recalling it now, the level of embarrassment was off the charts!

"So... that's why I was shy."

"I am truly, deeply sorry!"

If I were in Sakanayanagi's position, I would definitely be dying of shame; there was nothing to do but apologize. I really wanted to find a hole to crawl into...

"...Are you reflecting on it?"

"I am reflecting."

"From now on, please call me by my first name."

Huh? What is this girl suddenly talking about?

"I would prefer if you changed it... but if you're unwilling, I suppose I have no choice. Once we get to the classroom, I'll just have to consult with our friends, 'Even though I spent the night with Hachiman-kun, he still refuses to call me by my name'..." "A-alright! I get it! Arisu! Is that good enough?"

"Yes. Please take care of me, Hachiman-kun."

That bastard, how could she say something so terrifying? And she didn't even say "assaulted," she used "spent the night together"—that kind of ambiguous phrasing is even more malicious.

Although nothing actually happened and the school wouldn't punish me, the rumors already running rampant throughout the school would definitely intensify.

Speaking of which, is it really impossible to kill the rumors about me dating four people? Whenever Ichinose and Kamuro are asked, they deny it, but Hiyori always stammers, and Arisu intentionally says things that invite speculation, causing the rumors to never stop.

And if I start calling Arisu by her first name, the rumors will get even more exaggerated... forget it, it's already hopeless. I should just face reality and accept all of this.

While I was thinking about these things, Hiyori, who was lying on the other side of Arisu, also woke up.

"Hmm... Oh? Why is Arisu-san here?"

"Good morning, Shiina-san. I missed Hachiman-kun's body heat so much that I snuck over in the middle of the night."

"Oh, I see. Then it can't be helped."

It can't be helped?! Can something like this just be brushed off with "it can't be helped"?! Is Hiyori just an airhead, or am I the strange one?

"Now then, Hachiman-kun, please."

Hiyori leaned in as usual to ask for a morning kiss, but are we really doing this in front of Arisu?!

While I was hesitating, Hiyori had already pressed her forehead against mine. It seems that in her mind, it doesn't matter if Arisu sees.

"...Good morning, Hiyori."

I sighed and gently kissed her forehead.

"Oh my!"

This action seemed to catch Arisu off guard; she widened her eyes and covered her mouth.

"There. Good morning, Hachiman-kun."

Hiyori said, returning the kiss to my forehead. Although I've grown used to this interaction, doing it in front of a third party is still incredibly embarrassing.

"I'll go make breakfast. Is bread okay for you, Arisu-san?"

"Yes, thank you for the trouble."

"Don't mention it. It's still early, you can sleep a bit more."

Hiyori said as she got up and headed to the kitchen. Arisu looked at me with a meaningful expression.

"Shiina-san has completely settled into the role of a wife, hasn't she?"

"Don't put it that way."

If anything, it's practically cohabitation already. Recently, she's even brought her clothes and undergarments over, though I did give her permission.

"I'm truly envious of how close you two are. So..."

"So?"

"...No, it's nothing."

Arisu suddenly blushed and turned her head away. Faced with her unexpected reaction, I stood there stunned, listening to the sounds coming from the kitchen.

"Speaking of which, today is the deliberation day. Who will Class D be sending?"

Arisu asked suddenly while we were eating breakfast. According to the rules, one can bring two companions to attend.

"Horikita will definitely go. The remaining spots will likely be Hirata, Kushida, or Ayanokoji."

Since it's a debate, the aggressive Horikita will certainly attend. As her partners, Hirata, Kushida, or Ayanokoji, who is always with her, are the most suitable choices.

"Will Class C only have the three involved parties attending?"

"Is Ryuen not participating?"

"As far as I know, he won't show his face. But who knows what he's plotting."

Although Hiyori said that, if Ryuen were to actually attend, Class D would undoubtedly lose. I heard from Ichinose before that he had a hand in the conflict between Class B and Class C behind the scenes.

"It seems Class C intends to use the injuries as a weapon. Tell me, Hachiman-kun, if you were facing off against Class C, how would you fight?"

If I were to fight for Class D...

"First of all, this incident is nine times out of ten a trap set by Class C, so Class D doesn't necessarily lack a chance of winning."

According to Hiyori, one of the victims, Ishizaki, is quite good at fighting, and the other two are also members of the Basketball Club. Although Sudo has good physical fitness, it's highly suspicious that he could take down three people without a scratch.

Moreover, given Sudo's usual style, he wouldn't bother calling people to a blind spot of the surveillance cameras; he would just act directly even in full view of everyone.

"If I were fighting for Class D, I would have others take charge of finding witnesses, while I personally investigate the three victims. If I dig deep enough, I'm likely to find the dark history from their middle school days."

"And then, during the deliberation, you'd launch a fierce attack by mixing truth with falsehood to expose the other side's lies?"

Arisu continued. That's right, Ishizaki's past misconduct in middle school is already rumored on the school forum; seizing on that point could create contradictions.

"However, Sudo did indeed injure people, so it's impossible for him to be completely cleared of charges."

Even if we expose the other party's lies, the fact remains that Sudo committed violence; at most, we could only strive for a severe warning.

"That would be the case under normal circumstances. But what if we look at it from the perspective of Class C?"

Standing from the position of Class C, it becomes simple.

"They just need to find someone to provoke Sudo and make him lose control again."

That guy will fly into a rage and kick a desk if he's hit with a low-level provocation, which would definitely get him expelled.

"That is indeed the optimal plan."

"But Hachiman, Ryuen should have thought of this move long ago, right?"

Hiyori asked suddenly. Indeed, given Ryuen's personality, it was impossible for him not to have thought of it.

"Perhaps for Ryuen, winning or losing doesn't matter? If he wins, he can get Sudo punished and test the school's bottom line; if he loses, he can gauge the strength of Class D's strategist."

I see, that line of reasoning is very likely.

"It's a pity we can't hear the details."

"That can't be helped. Let's eat breakfast first."

It would be a shame for the food Hiyori made to get cold.

We resumed our meal. To be honest, maybe winning or losing doesn't matter to Ryuen, but...

For me, both winning and losing are losses...

If Class D wins, Sudo will become even more arrogant, and if Class C loses, my classmates will pester me with questions.

The reason I was assigned to Class D was probably due to the Service Club's request and Dokugami interfering with my interview evaluation.

Thinking of that plague god outside the school, I could only curse silently in my heart.