April Swimsuit Episode

With nothing to do on Sunday, Star Color spent the day happily lounging around in his dorm. He'd also made a few plans with Miyabi Nagumo.

Then Monday came around, bringing another day of work and school. Star Color felt that Mondays were practically days of suffering...

When he got to class, he wondered why all the boys seemed so excited today.

"Swimming class?"

He checked this week's schedule on his phone. They had swimming class in April? That was pretty unusual.

April's rain was called "Rape Blossom Rain" (nanatsuyu). It was the drizzle that fell while the rapeseed flowers bloomed from March to April, and the rainy season shouldn't last too long. Next year might be even worse, but Star Color was still looking forward to the summer rain.

"Come to think of it, it hasn't rained much lately..."

Had some strange cause-and-effect interference stopped it? How bizarre.

Some of the boys had started huddling together and quietly discussing a topic only boys knew about. They were all young men in the throes of puberty, so it was normal, as long as they didn't make the girls uncomfortable.

Suddenly, Star Color's imagination ran wild. He pictured Tamiya Emi changing into a swimsuit, showing off her lovely figure—

Star Color immediately shook his head. He couldn't let his mind get caught up in such "filthy" thoughts.

The electrical signals in his brain kept reminding him of the dry, low-pitched static of a broken radio. The reception was poor. Thoughts of love... negative thoughts.

[?S?i?l?e?n?t?l?y? f?l?o?w?i?n?g? b?l?o?o?d? o?n? a? c?o?r?p?s?e?,? u?n?w?o?r?t?h?y? o?f? l?o?v?e?.?]?

His brain was an empty void, with garbage files pouring out endlessly. The meaning of love was vague, locked away inside a safe.

"They're really getting carried away."

Kohei Katsuragi looked up at the group of boys who had gathered.

"Isn't that a good thing? It's what boys going through puberty are supposed to do. At least they're not bothering or harassing the girls."

At least those boys weren't discussing the girls' bodies in public, and their conversation wasn't full of vulgarities. Even if it was, they kept their voices down so no one else could hear.

Star Color held his head and opened the copy of Alice in Borderland in his hands.

"I get that, but I don't see why they need to be so excited."

Kohei Katsuragi reviewed his textbook, chatting with Star Color off and on.

"Huh? Could it be that you're... impotent, Kohei Katsuragi?"

"What did you say!?"

It was the first time in his life Kohei Katsuragi had ever been teased like that. Star Color's words had made him flush with anger.

"I just think a student's main responsibility is to study. There's no point discussing something so meaningless!"

"Anyway, I'm excited. We get to see swimsuits this time of year! It's such an unexpected thrill."

An ill-timed comment interrupted their conversation.

"Oh my, Otonashi Star Color. You look like such a cute boy, but are you actually the secretly lecherous type?"

Shit! Where had Sakayanagi Arisu come from? Star Color admitted he'd been startled. She really was a young lady who could pop up out of nowhere. What he'd just said had sounded like something a pervert would say! He had to turn the tables, or everyone in class would think he was a "secretly lecherous type"!

"Classmate Sakayanagi, I think you're a lot like Delia."

"What's that?"

Sakayanagi Arisu had heard a new word she'd never come across before, and seemed intrigued.

"A child spirit who likes scaring people and dragging them into the girls' restroom. I feel like her personality is a lot like yours, Classmate Sakayanagi."

Sakayanagi Arisu's mouth twitched.

"That's quite an imaginative comparison, [O][t][o][n][a][s][h][i] Star Color."

Sakayanagi Arisu's smile turned into the kind of terrifying smile only a woman could manage. Though she was about the same height as Star Color, her presence was intimidating. She'd put extra emphasis on his name when she said it...

"Ahhh! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Waaaah!"

Star Color performed a perfect dogeza right there on his chair.

Watching this theatrical performance, a blend of New Modernism and absurdism, Kohei Katsuragi said helplessly,

"Are you putting on some kind of over-the-top manzai routine?"

(Star Color's little encyclopedia: Manzai is a type of Japanese stand-up comedy, similar to Chinese crosstalk.)

A few hot-blooded, dumb boys were showing off and comparing their muscles.

The indoor pool had a climate-control system, and the fifty-meter pool seemed to be temperature-controlled too. Did that mean they could swim even in winter? Then this must be the Swimming Club's home turf.

As usual, Star Color changed into his swimsuit in the teachers' office restroom. It was a Zippered Men's Swimsuit. He wanted to wear swim trunks like the other boys! But the swimming teacher, a muscular middle-aged man, had stopped him and handed him this swimsuit.

Wow... what a stunning view. Even so, Star Color couldn't get excited at all. His threshold for excitement seemed way too high...

In the end, his eyes still settled on Tamiya Emi. She was chatting with the group of girls led by Nishikawa Ryoko.

"You like Tamiya?"

"Gah!"

Star Color nearly fell into the pool, but Morishita Ai caught him around the waist.

"Don't scare me like that, Classmate Morishita! Are you Delia the Second?"

"Delia? Why would I be a tiny little kid like that? Based on the difference in our heights, I'd have to be something like the Slit-Mouthed Woman or the Eight-Foot Woman."

"Let go of me, honestly."

Morishita Ai dragged Star Color to safety like a little dog, then let him go.

"By the way, Classmate Morishita, have you heard the truth behind the urban legend of the Eight-Foot Woman?"

"The truth about the Eight-Foot Woman? Otonashi, tell me!"

Classmate Morishita Ai was interested in ghost stories? Those seemed like a standard feature of an oddball girl...

"Ahem, listen up. The so-called Eight-Foot Woman is actually a female American soldier stationed in Neon, disguised as a man. The soldier's tall and burly, and goes around looking for little boys. The 'boo-boo-boo' people hear is actually her calling out, 'BOY, BOY, BOY.'"

Morishita Ai's mouth twitched. She had no idea what the hell this guy was talking about.

Morishita Ai rewarded Star Color with a flick on the forehead.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

"That was a terrible joke."

"What do you mean? It was hilarious!"

At that point, Kohei Katsuragi helped the teacher gather everyone together. The boys and girls lined up on opposite sides.

"Satoshi Satonaka is feeling unwell, and Sakayanagi Arisu can't exercise. They both have permission to be absent, and no one's skipping class."

Kohei Katsuragi dutifully reported the situation to the teacher. He really was a "good class representative."

"In that case, I'll mark everyone present. You're the first class to have swimming this morning, so don't slack off! Everyone who can manage the warm-up exercises will get in the pool. I want to see what you can do."

Yikes, swimming? I can't swim at all...

Star Color's head was pounding. Floating on the chilly water, he really wished he had a swimming ring.

The girls whispered among themselves.

"Wow, he's so cute..."

"He's surprisingly kind of sexy, Classmate Otonashi."

Ladies... I can hear you, Star Color thought. What kind of comments were those?

Star Color couldn't swim, but he knew the foolproof way to do it: lie back with his head tilted up and his body stretched out. He just didn't know where he'd drift off to... If he were unlucky enough to end up in a fast-flowing river, he'd just have to leave it to fate. No, believing in fate and his own luck would be a surefire route to disaster.

Suddenly, Star Color felt something black surround him...

What had he bumped into? It was so soft...

"Ah—ah—"

Oh no! When Star Color realized what had happened, he knew it was a full-blown pervert incident! This kind of lucky mishap belonged to the male leads of harem light novels or the protagonists of dating sims. In real life, it was a disaster!

What excuse would the police believe if he were swimming on his back, drifting along, and accidentally bumped into a girl's butt?

"Classmate Yamamura, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!"

Come to think of it, Yamamura was practically invisible in class. Star Color had never noticed her showing any interest in making friends while observing people. If anything, it seemed like everyone deliberately kept their distance from her.

No, Miki Yamamura seemed to be a poor girl bound by Destiny... Her fate could only change when she came into contact with the person chosen by Destiny. She'd been controlled since birth, unable to live as she wished—a poor, pitiable girl.

(In Miki Yamamura's monologue: An absurd setup where she'd never had a proper friend from kindergarten through elementary and middle school, and was always alone.)

"Ah... Classmate Otonashi... um, well... I'm sorry!"

"Huh? I was the one at fault. Why are you apologizing?"

Seeing a faint blush appear on Miki Yamamura's face, Star Color felt like the situation had been turned completely around.

Star Color was a little dumbfounded. Could this girl really... not know how to interact with people at all? She'd gone so long without talking to anyone that she was starting to stutter?

"No... It was my fault... Um, I'm sorry. I was in your way."

What were you, a submissive heroine? Good grief, she seemed like the type who didn't know how to deal with boys and could easily end up in serious trouble. She gave off the frightening impression of someone who'd casually be tricked into losing her virginity, like in an erotic manga!

(Here, "submissive girl" meant someone with a lowly personality, not someone who was despicable. The term had two meanings.)

Star Color took her hand.

"Ah... Classmate Otonashi."

"It was my fault, Classmate Yamamura. You didn't do anything wrong! Don't treat yourself like you're inferior."

This girl... she wasn't faking it at all. Star Color grumbled inwardly. Compared to her, his acting skills were utterly pathetic.