My Butt Is Still in the Tree

Rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat—!!!

The muzzle spat a half-meter tongue of flame, dense bullets pouring out like a violent storm, instantly blanketing the forward fan-shaped area.

This wasn't a soul skill at all—this was a high-rate-of-fire metal storm, eight hundred rounds per minute!

Thud thud thud thud!

Bullets struck tree trunks, sending wood chips flying; they hit the ground, splattering mud.

"Left three! Up two!"

Tang San called out coordinates from the side, using his Purple Extreme Demon Eye to predict the rat's landing points.

Su Yun adjusted the muzzle slightly, the belt of bullets sweeping across.

Yet the Void Shadow Rat's spatial talent revealed itself fully in that moment.

Amid the dense hail of bullets, it relied on constant short-distance teleportation to forcibly evade most of the lethal hits.

Though several bloody holes had been punched into its body, it didn't fall!

Ten meters!

Five meters!

The Void Shadow Rat let out a piercing shriek, folding its body midair to dodge the final volley, charging straight at Su Yun!

Those gleaming, cold claws were less than half a meter from Su Yun's throat!

"It's over!"

Red Hair closed his eyes in despair.

Even Tang San's heart sank halfway.

In that split second of lightning and flint.

Su Yun made an unexpected move.

He simply let go of the AR-15 in his hands, letting the rifle hang from its tactical sling.

Instead of retreating, he advanced, his left hand snapping up, palm facing the oncoming rat.

On that hand was a seemingly ordinary black tactical glove.

But at that moment, the glove's palm erupted with dazzling blue electric arcs!

High-Voltage Pulse Tactical Stun Glove—output voltage: fifty thousand volts!

"Sit down!"

Zzzt—!!!

The blue high-voltage arc struck the Void Shadow Rat midair.

Though the intense current couldn't kill this four-hundred-year soul beast, the terrifying paralysis locked its body rigid in the air!

Its claws hovered in front of Su Yun's nose, but it couldn't press them down any further.

And that was the killing moment Su Yun had been waiting for.

"Truth, only within firing range."

Su Yun's right hand moved with lightning speed, drawing a gleaming silver giant pistol from the quick-draw holster on his outer thigh.

Desert Eagle, Mark XIX, .50 AE caliber.

The heavy artillery of handguns—a monster that could blow apart a car engine at close range.

The icy muzzle pressed directly against the paralyzed Void Shadow Rat's forehead.

The barrel even shoved into its flesh.

Su Yun stared into those terrified rat eyes, a cruel smile curling at the corner of his mouth.

"Next life, remember not to mess with guys from Earth."

BANG—!!!!

A thunderous, muffled gunshot shook the entire forest.

The kinetic energy of a .50 caliber Magnum bullet at point-blank range needed no penetration.

It was pure destruction.

Splat!

The Void Shadow Rat's head burst apart like a watermelon smashed by a sledgehammer!

Red and white matter splattered everywhere.

The headless corpse was flung backward by the immense kinetic force, crashing heavily to the ground, twitching twice, then going completely still.

A faint yellow soul ring slowly rose from the corpse.

Su Yun held his firing pose, lightly blew the wisp of smoke curling from the muzzle, then disdainfully flicked the bloodstains off his glove.

"Wrap it up."

The entire scene was dead silent.

Tang San stared at the silver giant gun still smoking in Su Yun's hand, his pupils quaking.

What kind of mechanism-based hidden weapon was this?

The power that had burst forth in that instant...

Was over a thousand times stronger than his Sleeve Arrow!

Red Hair's Group crawled out of the dirt pile, looked at that god of slaughter-like back, their legs went weak, and they knelt more perfectly than ever before.

On the tree branch, Yu Xiaogang swayed gently with the wind.

He sported a head of hair blasted into a punk style, his face streaked black and white, like someone who'd just crawled out of a coal mine.

He struggled to open his eyes, narrowed to slits by the smoke, looked at the headless rat corpse on the ground, then at the still-smoking gun in Su Yun's hand, and sank into deep thought.

Though on the surface, he'd been blown away and nearly bitten to death.

But as a theoretical master, what Yu Xiaogang excelled at most was—

Redefining victory through review!

He rapidly constructed a tight logical loop in his mind:

"First, who discovered this rat? I did! Though the position was slightly off, the species judgment was accurate. This is a victory in intelligence warfare—my first win!"

"Second, during the battle, who released the crucial control skill? Luo Sanpao. If that marsh gas hadn't been sprayed out, could that Red Hair have ignited it? No. So, the core raw material for that earth-shattering explosion was provided by me. This is a victory in tactical coordination—Red Hair was merely my tool. My second win!"

"Finally, though Su Yun took the kill, what did he rely on? External tools, money power. This kind of victory is unworthy, lacking any soul master's dignity!"

"And me? I used myself as bait, lured the enemy deep, even sacrificed my image hanging in a tree to create a killing opportunity for my teammate. This is a victory in spiritual realm—a great victory!"

"To summarize."

Yu Xiaogang solemnly announced the match result in his heart:

"Su Yun relied on tools, unworthy victory, zero wins."

"I relied on wisdom, tactics, and sacrificial spirit, sweeping three wins."

"Three to zero. The gap is clear!"

This round, he, Yu Xiaogang, had won big!

Thinking this, Yu Xiaogang's originally dim eyes regained their luster.

He firmly believed that as a genius youth, Tang San would surely see through the surface to his teacher's tactical-level maneuvering and greatness.

Now, taking Tang San as his disciple was set!

Just as he thought, rustling came from the grass below.

Tang San walked over expressionlessly, looking up at Yu Xiaogang hanging on the branch.

Yu Xiaogang's heart leaped with joy, and he struggled to maintain the demeanor of a master.

He took a deep breath, even if his throat was still clogged with ash, and used that magnetic, mentor-like voice to say:

"Xiao San, you're here."

"Did you understand? This is the first lesson your teacher gives you. Soul master combat isn't about momentary brute force, but about controlling the situation... Sss—!!"

Before he could finish, Yu Xiaogang suddenly sucked in a sharp breath, his features twisting together.

He instinctively tried to reach for his butt, but found his arms couldn't move.

"Ahem... well, Xiao San, don't rush to comprehend yet."

Yu Xiaogang grimaced in pain, cold sweat pouring down:

"Hurry, get me down first. I don't know if that blast injured my bones, but your teacher feels... his butt really hurts..."

Tang San stood beneath the tree, not moving immediately.

He tilted his head slightly, his Purple Extreme Demon Eye flickering, his gaze passing over Yu Xiaogang's body to the higher canopy.

After two seconds of silence, Tang San raised a finger and pointed at the branch directly above Yu Xiaogang's head:

"Grandmaster, your butt won't hurt."

Tang San said expressionlessly. "Your butt... is still up in the tree."

Yu Xiaogang strained his neck, following Tang San's finger to look up.

There, wedged between two branches two meters above his head, was Luo Sanpao's round body, stuck tight and unable to move.

And its large, plump butt was hanging directly over Yu Xiaogang's head.

Perhaps from eating too many radishes earlier, or from a stress reaction to the fright.

Just as Yu Xiaogang looked up.

Luo Sanpao's tense sphincter finally relaxed.

Pfft—

Pfft pfft—

A rhythmic series of pale yellow gases, accompanied by that awkward sound, sprayed directly into Yu Xiaogang's face.

"..."