The Farmer and the Snake / Chapter 62: Oh No, I Really Want to Laugh

Shuichi Kanda turned his head slightly and glanced toward the Idiot Trio.

Even those three weren't nervous at all. Instead, they calmly got started on the test.

Seeing this, Shuichi Kanda took out his pen and began answering the questions. When he'd taken this test the first time, he'd easily gotten a perfect score, so there was naturally no chance he'd get anything wrong now.

He finished the entire test in less than half the allotted time, and he could guarantee that every answer was correct.

Shuichi Kanda wasn't the only one. Most of the students in the class who had decent grades were the same way. After all, this was a memorization subject. If they couldn't manage a few perfect scores, then the class would be completely hopeless.

Chapter 61: The Farmer and the Snake

The midterm exams were held on the Friday of the third week of May, nearly a week before June 1.

So as soon as the reward points for the midterm exams were distributed, Class D wouldn't have to keep living so frugally, borrowing points from Hirata.

No one said it aloud, but everyone felt a little uncomfortable about the situation.

They might not receive many points after this exam, but it was still better than having to ask someone else for money. It felt like they were being given charity.

On Monday morning, after Shuichi Kanda and Miyake entered the classroom, they noticed an unusually tense atmosphere.

There was nothing they could do about it. Today was the day the exam results would be announced. Even though they had last year's exam papers, an unexpected failure in even one subject would still get them expelled without mercy. It was only natural to be nervous.

Sudo, however, seemed both nervous and excited. He'd genuinely worked hard to memorize the test papers Shuichi Kanda had given him the week before, so that was probably why he felt so anxious and hopeful.

Maybe he was about to get the highest score he'd ever received on a test since elementary school.

"Sensei." As soon as Chabashira walked up to the podium, Hirata stood and asked, "I heard you'd announce the exam results today. Could you tell us exactly when?"

"There's no need to rush. I'll announce them now. There are a lot of procedures to handle after school, and we might not have time otherwise."

Procedures?

Hey, hey, hey. Surely not?

Surely nobody actually failed the exam?

Even Sudo was feeling confident, so who had screwed up that badly?

"W-What's going on?"

Hirata had a bad feeling.

"Don't worry. I'll announce them now."

As she spoke, Chabashira-sensei pinned a large sheet of white paper to the blackboard. It listed every student's name and score.

Shuichi Kanda's name naturally stood out the most. He'd gotten 100 in all five subjects. Other students had managed the same feat, but Kanda's name was at the very top for one simple reason: students with the same score were ranked according to the order of their names' first characters in the Japanese syllabary.

The character 神, read as "kami," started with "ka," which came sixth in the syllabary. Of all the students who'd gotten perfect scores this time, he was ranked highest.

He had a feeling he'd see this kind of ranking a lot. In his previous life, lists for all kinds of things were usually arranged alphabetically, and Excel sheets could be sorted that way too.

As he scanned down the list of exam results, Shuichi Kanda was stunned.

Holy crap, Sudo wasn't in last place! Or rather, he wasn't in last place in every subject.

And the lowest scores in Japanese and social studies were both above 50 points, which meant nobody had failed.

By then, Sudo had finally finished checking all his scores.

"Yeah!"

Sudo couldn't help springing to his feet.

"I don't have any red lines! And I'm not in last place!"

Compared with Sudo, his good friend Yamauchi Haruki looked utterly miserable. He'd come in last in English this time.

He couldn't even believe Sudo had surpassed him.

"Indeed. Let me congratulate you first, Sudo. You passed every subject."

Chabashira-sensei confirmed Sudo's results and congratulated him.

"However..."

As she spoke, she drew a red line through Yamauchi Haruki's name in the English column.

"Yamauchi Haruki, you failed English."

"Huh? How's that possible? I got 43 points! Didn't you say last year's passing score was 32? I got 11 points more than that!"

After a moment of shock, Yamauchi Haruki jumped up, flustered, and protested.

"You said it yourself: that was last year. Who told you this year's passing score would be the same?"

After the class fell quiet for a moment, Chabashira-sensei took out a marker and wrote a number beside the English scores.

88.6

"This is the average score for English this time. The passing score is half of 88.6, which is 44. So, Yamauchi, you failed the exam."

"It seems you all really worked hard this time. Even Sudo got nearly 50 points in English, which raised the average considerably. As a result, the passing score was pushed higher too."

Glancing at Yamauchi Haruki, who looked utterly dejected, Shuichi Kanda didn't feel the least bit sorry for him. Yamauchi's foundation was far better than Sudo's, and just like Sudo, he'd been given the past exam questions ahead of time.

Shuichi Kanda had explicitly told him what to do, and he'd still failed. What more was there to say?

He had it coming!

Honestly, in the two months since the school year began, Shuichi Kanda hadn't seen a single redeeming quality in him. He was certainly full of hot air, though.

When Yamauchi Haruki heard Chabashira-sensei's words, his face twitched.

His already plain-looking face grew even more disheveled.

"It's all your fault! It's your fault for getting such good scores in English! This has nothing to do with me!"

Hearing Yamauchi Haruki's accusation, Shuichi Kanda was surprisingly not angry. He even felt like laughing.

Look at that, the daily drama was starting. Wasn't it entertaining?

Still, Yamauchi failing was very much to Shuichi Kanda's advantage. A plan he'd originally made just in case could now be put into action.

Besides Shuichi Kanda, most of the class wore disgusted expressions. Yamauchi had been the one who didn't work hard, yet he blamed everyone else for doing too well. What was wrong with him?

"Yeah, it's all Kanda's fault! You said the average score on this exam would be added to our Class Points, so everyone worked so hard!"

Shuichi Kanda really had said that in class, but only a few people, including Horikita, knew about it. Yamauchi had probably overheard by accident. When he said it, the students in the class looked at Shuichi Kanda in surprise.

Chabashira-sensei also came right out and confirmed that it was true.

"So it's all your fault! If you hadn't—"

Before Yamauchi Haruki could finish, Shuichi Kanda picked up the pencil case on his desk and hurled it at him without so much as a pause.

Huh? Why was it always a pencil case?

Thud!

"Do you want to die?"

This time, Shuichi Kanda had done it openly, right under the cameras' watchful gaze. But he didn't care. The class had no points left to deduct anyway.

"Blaming other people's hard work for your own laziness, Yamauchi Haruki—you really are a complete piece of trash."

"And you were given those old exam questions a week in advance, weren't you? Why could Ike and Sudo both score close to 50 or even higher, while you couldn't?"

A week in advance?

The whole class was stunned, then began murmuring among themselves.

Then Kushida Kikyo stood up.

"Everyone, please listen. Kanda got those old exam questions from an upperclassman in his club. He only handed them out on the last day because he didn't want to discourage anyone from studying."

Kushida's words confirmed that Shuichi Kanda was telling the truth. They also made the class hate Yamauchi Haruki even more. He'd been given the old exam questions a week in advance and still failed.

What a joke.

And now he was turning around and blaming others. What was this, the modern-day version of the farmer and the snake?

Just like Shuichi Kanda had said, he really was a complete piece of trash.

Chapter 62: Oh No, I Really Want to Laugh

As for Shuichi Kanda, even though he'd immediately grabbed the pencil case from his bag and thrown it at Yamauchi Haruki, he wasn't angry at all. In fact, he was having a hard time keeping from laughing.

No! Don't laugh. Hold it in!

Yamauchi Haruki's behavior had left Shuichi Kanda stunned, but the result was exactly what he'd wanted. He really had to thank Yamauchi.

Humans united by choosing a new enemy, even if that enemy was imaginary. There were countless examples of this throughout history.

For instance, when overthrowing an old dynasty, the leaders of the various rebel armies might all want to kill one another, but they would still set their differences aside for the moment and defeat their common enemy.

Now, in front of the not-yet-united students of Class D, Yamauchi Haruki had voluntarily made himself their common enemy.

No, he wasn't merely playing the part. He'd actually become the class's enemy.

So, to most of Class D right now, as long as you hated Yamauchi Haruki, we were brothers from different parents!

How could Shuichi Kanda not laugh at that outcome? He'd been wondering how to unite Class D further, and now someone had practically blown himself up to solve the problem for him.

If the timing hadn't been so bad, he would've wanted to present Yamauchi Haruki with a banner himself! He could even come up with the inscription!

After that, once the class's unity had reached its peak, all they'd have to do was kick Yamauchi out. Then Class D would be more united than ever.

Before that, though, they had to keep an eye on Yamauchi Haruki and make sure he didn't cause too much trouble for Class D. Above all, they couldn't let that Sakayanagi woman find out, or it would definitely end badly.

That was why Yamauchi couldn't be expelled just yet, not while he was serving as the class's enemy. So, could someone please save him?

Ayanokoji, it was your turn to step in! Let's follow our original plan!

"Enough! Do you think I'm not here?"

Chabashira Sae finally remembered that she was their homeroom teacher.

"Sorry. I couldn't help myself."

Shuichi Kanda admitted his fault first, then calmly returned to his seat.

But his gesture only made Yamauchi get worked up again. He was doomed anyway, so he might as well drag Kanda down with him.

"Sensei! He was just trying to kill me! You should expel him!"

Shuichi Kanda didn't even feel like responding. He simply took out the textbook he needed for first period.

Most of the class, especially the girls, looked at Shuichi Kanda with concern and showed their anger toward Yamauchi.

"You're exaggerating, Yamauchi. Even if that had hit you, Kanda isn't strong enough to kill you. Relax."

Damn, she had to throw me under the bus while mocking Yamauchi too? Chabashira-sensei, one day I'll get my revenge!

Then Chabashira-sensei changed her tune. "However, attacking someone right in front of me was very rude. Kanda, I'm suspending you for one week. Do you have any objections?"

"None!"

At that, Shuichi Kanda promptly put the Japanese textbook he'd just taken out back into his bag, then stood up to leave.

A week's suspension?

He couldn't be more grateful. Horikita had been the main force behind the study group these past few days, but Shuichi Kanda was still a little tired. There was nothing wrong with getting some rest.

Besides, being suspended for a week only meant he couldn't go to school. It didn't mean he couldn't wander around elsewhere. He had plenty of money, and his grades were fine, so he could afford to go out and enjoy himself.

Before leaving, Shuichi Kanda made a point of glancing at Kiyotaka Ayanokoji, who was still sitting at his desk.

After Shuichi Kanda left, Chabashira Sae smiled.

"Anyway, that's that. Yamauchi Haruki fell one point short of passing English, so you'll be expelled. If you understand, then this homeroom meeting is over."

After Chabashira-sensei left, Ayanokoji immediately stood up, took a sheet of paper that had been deliberately left in Shuichi Kanda's desk, and followed her out through the back door. He also called over Yamauchi Haruki, who looked utterly dejected.

Shuichi Kanda returned to his dorm room, casually tossed his bag onto the floor, changed into casual clothes, and headed to Keyaki Mall.

He'd finally gotten a long break. How could he not treat himself?

After buying fresh meat and vegetables, Shuichi Kanda picked up some seasonings and oil. Then, as he took out his phone to pay, he saw a message from Miyake.