How Could I Possibly Hurt You?

I didn't know how long I'd been unconscious. In the darkness, I was jolted awake by a rustling sound.

I struggled to open my eyes. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a kerosene lamp being lit. Its gentle glow illuminated the room, revealing rows of glassware. Light filtered through the gaps between various odds and ends, reminding me of nights when I'd woken up in my mother's bed as a child and seen her busy at work by lamplight.

I was dazed for a moment. Then someone came to my bedside and reached out to touch my forehead.

The touch was cold, unbearably familiar, like a nightmare.

"You were gone for only a little while, and you ran off on your own. You really are a worry."

Orochimaru!

My heart nearly stopped. I didn't know how quickly I came to my senses, but a kunai appeared at my fingertips in an instant, and I lunged at him without hesitation!

With a slap, Orochimaru caught my wrist. The kunai fell to the ground, and I couldn't move my arm!

I went berserk. My right hand drew my last trump card, and Murasame flashed out of its sheath! Its blade glinting coldly, I swung it straight at him!

There was a dull thud. Orochimaru caught Murasame's blade in his hand. He seemed not to feel any pain, just holding on tight no matter how hard I tried to pull it free.

Blood streamed down!

I-I'd actually hurt him?

I was stunned, but before I could attack again, Orochimaru seemed to have run out of patience. He wrenched Murasame from my grasp and tossed it aside, bloodied. It clattered against the floor.

"Stop making a fuss, Akatsuki."

He reached out to hold my wrist in place. Only then did I notice an IV tube inserted into the back of my hand, clear fluid flowing into my body—

What was he doing to me now!

He had me pinned, with a wall behind me and nowhere to retreat. Terrified and desperate, I could only scream at him—

"Don't touch me!"

Orochimaru paused at my shout. He didn't understand my reaction and looked puzzled instead.

"What's wrong?"

Frowning, he leaned closer. His palm was covered in blood from the cut I'd given him, yet he touched my forehead with it and wiped away my sweat. I turned my face away in fear, but I couldn't escape that icy touch.

"Are you afraid of me?"

I was so terrified I could barely stand it. Trembling, I snarled through clenched teeth, "You wanted to kill me! How could I not be afraid?"

Orochimaru paused, seeming amused by my words. He shook his head and moved his fingers to my shoulder, where my wound was wrapped in bandages.

"Akatsuki, watch closely."

The next moment, the bandages burst apart! I jumped and hurried to cover my wound, only to see that my shoulder—the one Orochimaru had stabbed—was perfectly intact. There wasn't even the slightest mark on my skin!

"Th-this is...?"

I froze.

I clearly remembered that his sword had stabbed straight through me! I remembered the pain, the blood, the feeling of flesh being cut. I couldn't have been mistaken!

But now... why was the wound... gone?

My mind was in chaos. For a moment, I thought I was still dreaming, that I hadn't woken up—

What... what was going on?

Just as my head started to ache again, I heard a sigh.

"Akatsuki, I believe I told you there's a technique in this world called genjutsu."

In the dim room, Orochimaru took out a handkerchief, lifted my chin, and carefully wiped the blood and sweat stuck to my face. When he'd cleaned most of it away, he wrapped the handkerchief around his injured hand and simply tended to the wound.

"I let my students experience death, but I don't actually make them die." Orochimaru looked at my blank expression, a trace of helplessness flashing in his eyes.

"So, from the very first heavy blow, you were already trapped in my genjutsu. All the attacks that followed were illusions, meant only to draw out your potential."

"Throughout it all, you suffered no physical harm, only mental attacks."

"Do you understand now, Akatsuki?"

After hearing all that, my gaze was vacant, but I quieted down.

I sat there, dazed, trying to process it all. Then I suddenly tore open my clothes!

I examined myself carefully and saw that my body didn't have a single wound. My entire chest was pale and clean, with barely even a bruise. Finally understanding, I looked up in disbelief and asked, "So all of that was an illusion?"

"You never actually hurt me?"

Orochimaru shook his head. His eyes reflected my image without a hint of deception, their color warm in the faint lamplight.

"Of course not."

"As your teacher, how could I possibly hurt my own student?"

"..."

At last, understanding everything, I leaned against the wall and slid down onto the bed. I lowered my head, unable to gather my wits for a long time.

After a while, my eyes began to sting, and tears streamed uncontrollably down my face.

Why did he always have to do things like this...

"Teacher... I don't like this..." My eyes stung as the tears welled up. I tried to wipe them away, but they kept coming, until I was sobbing uncontrollably.

"...I don't like this... Sob..."

I'd already died once. I didn't want to feel that way again...

I was... really scared...

Through my tear-blurred vision, I felt someone sit beside me, stroke my head, and wrap me in his arms, patting me gently to soothe me.

"Being born into this world means you have to experience things like this," he said.

"Only when you understand death can you understand the meaning of life."

"A shinobi is someone who lives facing death."

Orochimaru stroked my head, his voice low and solemn.

"And the choice you made when facing death proves just that."

"You'll be the one who fights to the very end."

I clutched his arm, my vision a blur.

If Fuyue was teaching me how to survive, then Orochimaru was teaching me how to face death.

I knew this was something I had to experience, but I still trembled all over, resisting it.

Just like in my previous life.

In my previous life, even in my final moments, when I had no regrets and faced death with calm acceptance, my body still struggled with all its might. It reached out with pale hands toward the blue sky, toward hope, toward the future, begging for one last chance at life for my soul.

I lay on a filthy bed, watching the people bustle around my hospital bed. I heard my heartbeat slowly fade, heard all the machines' sounds merge into a single unbroken tone, and heard every noise in the world turn into a buzzing hum before falling into a deathly silence.

At last, I closed my eyes quietly and entered an endless darkness.

No one wants to die.

Because death is the ultimate proof of life.

The kerosene lamp burned for a long time. When its flame was nearly dim, I felt my teacher press gently on the back of my head. He told me to raise it, wiped away my tears, and said, "Akatsuki, you may not realize this, but your talent for ninjutsu is even greater than you imagine. In our last training session, you reached the second stage of Nintaijutsu. You may even have mastered Chakra Nature Transformation."

As he spoke, Orochimaru narrowed his eyes. He considered all the test subjects he'd experimented on and realized none of them had ever shown such an ability. A faint smile touched his lips.

As expected, the Uchiha Clan really was the most perfect...

"Teacher, what did you say?"

Orochimaru's words left me completely baffled.

"The second stage? Chakra Nature Transformation? Me?" I pulled away from his embrace and stared at my palms, remembering the Lightning Release Chakra pulsing like a heartbeat! I recalled my Taijutsu sparring match with my teacher, and excitement surged through me!

I remembered! No wonder I'd been able to keep up the Taijutsu for so long, and my body had felt so strong! I'd already reached the second stage of Nintaijutsu!

The second stage, where it supported my bones and muscles!

"But... but what does Chakra Nature Transformation mean?" Once my excitement had passed, I looked up at Orochimaru in confusion.

Wasn't Chakra Nature Transformation supposed to be extremely difficult to master?

"Don't you remember?" Orochimaru furrowed his brow slightly. His eyes swept over Murasame on the floor, and he picked it up and handed it to me.

"When you were between life and death, you used this sword to block my fatal blow. Although I was using genjutsu, the Lightning Release Ninjutsu released by this sword was real lightning."

It had even been released instantly, without any Hand Seals!

"What?" I froze. I tried hard to remember, but all I could recall were a few fragmented moments. I had no memory at all of using lightning-based ninjutsu!

My consciousness had probably already been fading by then. I frowned and looked at my palm again, finding it hard to believe.

So people really could unleash strength they never imagined they had when they were on the verge of death.

Wait!

"Are you saying I used Murasame to release the ninjutsu?" I asked, surprised and excited.

"Yes," Orochimaru said.

Could it be—could this be Murasame's ability? I snatched it up in a flash and examined its blade carefully. But no matter how I looked, I found nothing unusual, apart from its somewhat dark color!

Orochimaru watched my expression change and seemed to guess what I was thinking. He reassured me, "It's all right. If you can't remember, don't force yourself to. Your talent and abilities won't disappear. They'll only grow stronger as you do, until the day you truly realize who you are."

Those words left me stunned.

I savored them carefully, feeling that they held so much more beneath the surface, as if they contained the truths of life. But I couldn't understand even the first layer beyond their literal meaning. In the end, I could only nod and keep his words in my heart, etching them little by little into the depths of my mind as I waited for the day they came true.

In the dim light, the kerosene lamp flickered twice and crackled.

I was quiet for a long time, then suddenly grew angry again, gritting my teeth and wishing I could tear someone limb from limb!

Of course, that anger was directed at Orochimaru!

Damn it, who wouldn't be angry after being tortured by genjutsu like that? Who wouldn't be fed up with having a teacher as crazy as him?

If it had been anyone else, they'd probably have died of fright when that sword came down. What would there be to learn about death? They'd have gone straight to the King of Hell to discuss life's great truths!

Kusama Shigeo should have had to experience this!

I grumbled inwardly, but I didn't dare curse Orochimaru to his face. I just glared up at him from below, rolling my eyes as hard as I could and turning my mouth into a frown! I silently vented my frustration!

Little Moon was furious, and the consequences would be dire!

Just you wait. One day, I'll make you pay! I don't care if you're my teacher!

"Teacher, I—"

I was about to ask him something, but in the next instant my body suddenly went limp. Exhaustion and sleepiness washed over me in waves, and my eyelids grew heavy. It felt like I could fall asleep after a single breath.

After one mishap after another, I'd long since used up all my energy.

"Your body wasn't injured, but you've severely depleted your chakra and stamina. You need to rest," I heard my teacher say, half-asleep, as he tucked me in. His voice was very, very soft.

"For the next few days, you'll stay with me. Once you've recovered, you can return to your own place."

"This is for your safety, too."

I heard Orochimaru murmuring beside me. My eyes had already closed, but I felt like I'd forgotten something. A pair of blue-green eyes suddenly flashed before me, and I broke out in a cold sweat. Fighting off sleep, I managed to ask—

"Teacher... where did you find me?"

"When you found me, did you see... did you see..."

—did you see someone?

I wanted to ask more, but my eyelids felt as heavy as a thousand pounds. Darkness washed over me. Before I could hear his reply, I fell into a deep sleep.