Falling

To be honest.

For a long time, Naruto had always harbored a dream he knew was unrealistic.

That one ordinary evening, as he stepped out of the academy, a stranger would suddenly appear and stop him.

The person would crouch down and say to him in a voice he had never heard before, or one touched with warmth, "Naruto, I'm your..."

...Whatever title came after that didn't matter. Parents were far too much to hope for; he didn't dare imagine that. Honestly, they didn't even have to be related.

He didn't ask them to be especially kind to him. Just going to Ichiraku Ramen together once in a while would be nice... but it was okay if they couldn't.

All he wanted was to know there was someone in this world connected to him. He just needed to believe that he, Uzumaki Naruto, wasn't completely alone.

That was Naruto's greatest fantasy.

He knew better than anyone that it was only a fantasy. To put it in the words of those scrolling comments, he was just making things up in his head, using his imagination to numb himself to the things he longed for but could never have, satisfying his desires in the smallest way possible... But even this humble little fantasy was the only comfort he could hold on to in his barren childhood.

And yet.

When the cinema's cold screen threw the truth in front of him, when Naruto learned that someone like that did exist—and that they were even more closely connected to him than he'd imagined, living right beside him in the same village—

he couldn't help but... feel resentful.

Yes, as a student, Kakashi had no obligation to look after his teacher's orphaned child.

That was right, too. Kakashi had his own difficulties, and he'd been through plenty of terrible things. Naruto had no right to demand that anyone be kind to him.

But...

Why didn't you ever come see me?

Surely I have the right to feel hurt, don't I?

The story of the future was still only a story to this Naruto. Only the twelve years he'd already lived were real: every day and night when cold stares cut into him, every mouthful of instant noodles tinged with salt and bitterness, every time he watched his classmates get picked up by their parents from far away, then walked off pretending he didn't care... He really couldn't act as though none of it had ever happened.

Why had my parents died for the village, only for the village to treat me with distance and hatred?

The villagers who didn't know the truth were one thing, but why had you, Kakashi... watched all of this from the sidelines, too?

These feelings had nothing to do with reason. Naruto hadn't found peace with them in the days since returning, which was why he'd secretly concealed the fact that he'd seen the Flying Thunder God—and why he'd lost interest in his old dream of becoming Hokage.

In an instant, a name swept across Naruto's mind like lightning, dragging a thousand tangled thoughts in its wake. But not a trace showed on his face. He continued chatting and laughing with Ino as calmly as before.

When all was said and done, the Naruto who had needed other people's recognition just to keep going was already dead.

As he'd said before.

A moment of sorrow was unavoidable, but it would only make him more determined to do what he wanted now.

So his calm wasn't an act.

Almost at once, something deeper and harder took the place of that brief burning pain, settling heavily back into his heart and truly calming him.

"Huh? What do you mean you just don't like the name?"

Ino could tell Naruto was feeling something, but since she wasn't involved, she didn't dwell on it. She just assumed his goofy side had come out again and reminded him:

"Don't underestimate your jonin instructor. Strictly speaking, they aren't just our teachers; they're our superiors, too. That's very different from Iruka-sensei, so make sure you treat your jonin with respect. He can teach you a lot, and he'll be someone you can rely on when you go on missions together."

"Got it."

In a good mood despite Ino's nagging, Naruto grinned. "I'll be really respectful. Actually, I'm looking forward to meeting this Kakashi, too."

"You should call him Kakashi-sensei!"

Ino poked Naruto on the forehead, then looked at his messy bangs with distaste. "Naruto, can't you get a haircut? We're taking our ninja photos the day after tomorrow, and you'll be meeting your jonin instructor, too. You need to make an effort with your appearance. You've been a mess lately."

"I'm broke—"

Naruto let out a long sigh and pointed at the patches on his clothes.

"...Sigh—"

Ino was at a loss for words. Seeing him like that, she could only sigh along with him.

As the young lady of the Yamanaka Clan, she'd never had to worry about money. In fact, before she got to know Naruto, the concept of being poor hadn't even existed in her world.

Shikamaru and Choji went without saying; they were both sons of clan heads from prominent families, and it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say they'd grown up in luxury. Even Sakura, that Big Forehead, lived in a Western-style house... So if Ino hadn't witnessed Naruto's life firsthand lately, she could never have believed that someone around her could be living in such dire straits—and that they could be the same age as her...

"How much can a haircut cost? I can lend you the money."

Ino wanted to say that to Naruto, but she pressed her lips together and held back.

She remembered what had happened two nights ago at dinner. Her mother had asked why she'd been going out so often lately, and when she told them about Naruto, her father had abruptly set down his chopsticks.

Her father had been silent for a long time. Usually, her mother would have nagged him at a time like that, but that evening, it was as if she knew something, too. She fell silent along with him, then after a while asked whether they should help Naruto.

Ino was a little puzzled, but she wanted Naruto to have an easier life. Her father, however, turned her down.

He said, "When a man has made up his mind, any pity or sorrow shown to him is the greatest insult... Some people have to walk a stretch of the road alone. As... he has the talent and ability to make it to the end, we shouldn't overcomplicate things. The journey itself is his greatest reward."

Ino: "?"

What was that old man talking about?

Ino hadn't expected her usually gentle, rational, and level-headed father to say something so out of character. All that talk about men, resolve, and pride... Weren't those the sorts of things some hot-blooded idiot would say?

But neither of her parents had any intention of explaining further, so even now, Ino still didn't fully understand what her father had meant.

But not understanding didn't mean she wouldn't do as he'd said.

So she didn't say anything that might sound like pity. She just couldn't help asking:

"Naruto, it's been hard, hasn't it?"

"Yeah." Still lying sprawled on the ground, Naruto complained, "Training is just so hard—aaagh, damn it!"

"That's not what I meant, you idiot..."

Ino sat down beside Naruto, helplessly.

The two of them stayed beneath the shade of the tree, one lying down and one sitting, staring into space together during this rare moment of rest.

Naruto, the center of all this, had no idea that his actions lately had already drawn many people's attention. Plenty of people were thinking about him.

At that moment, with his mind empty, he simply lay back and relaxed beside Ino, gazing up at the clear sky where the stars flickered in and out of view. His lips moved without thought as he casually hummed a song.

"I always thought the world... wouldn't care if I wasn't here..."

"Maybe I've felt this way for a long time..."

"Don't hold me close... don't comfort me..."

The faint singing drifted away on the evening breeze. Ino watched Naruto from the corner of her eye as the boy softly hummed a song she'd never heard before.

She'd heard him hum it many times lately. Naruto said he'd forgotten where he'd heard it, and when she'd searched at home, she couldn't find out who had written it or what the full song was.

But after hearing it so many times, she'd learned the part Naruto hummed.

Without realizing it, she began humming along softly, though the lyrics she sang were a little different:

"Hold me close... comfort me..."

"Don't give up on me... don't let me fall..."