A howling gale and a torrential downpour,
Lightning in the sky lit up the figure in the mud.
Qian Xunji gasped for breath. Every inhale brought a ripping pain in his lungs. Blood mingled with rainwater and streamed down his long golden hair, but the arms tightly protecting the swaddled infant in his embrace stayed as still as iron.
Behind him, the people of Haotian Hall pursued him relentlessly, their madness without end.
Just half an hour earlier, a battle so brutal it was worthy of the history books had come to a close. The woman who had willingly cast aside everything for him, the woman he loved to the marrow of his bones—A-Dong, a Blue Silver Spider Emperor who had once been a Hundred-Thousand-Year Soul Beast—had chosen to sacrifice herself without hesitation, trapped in a desperate situation and trying to save him.
Her beautiful, sorrowful blue-silver threads had turned into a sky full of fireflies beneath the night. They were the last glimmer of her life, and in the end, all that remained was a cocoon in his hands. That blood-red Hundred-Thousand-Year Spirit Ring, like a tear of blood, had forcibly merged into his body. Its violent energy instantly shattered the bottleneck that had held him back, making him the youngest Titled Douluo on the continent!
With the brief, terrifying burst of power brought by her sacrifice, he had risked having every meridian in his body shattered and struck the lofty Pope Tang Hao so hard he spat blood and suffered grievous injuries. While the people of Haotian Hall were thrown into disarray, he had fought his way through with the newborn child, Qian San, in his arms.
"A-Dong..."
Qian Xunji's consciousness had begun to blur... The price of that explosive leap in power, combined with the pursuit by Haotian Hall, had already destroyed his vitality. Summoning the last of his strength, he stumbled into the hollow of a towering ancient tree and collapsed.
He lowered his trembling head and, by the faint light of the lightning, took a long look at the infant asleep in his arms, who knew nothing of the cruel world.
"L-live..."
The last glimmer in the eyes of the continent's youngest Titled Douluo faded completely. His head drooped, lifeless, and he drew his final breath.
Who knew how long had passed.
"Gah—That hurts! Damn, getting hit by a truck really doesn't come with anesthesia!"
In the hollow, Qian Xunji, who had been dead as a doornail, suddenly twitched. He sucked in a sharp breath and snapped his eyes open, clutching his head in agony. It felt as if his brain had been shoved into a fully automatic washing machine and put through a brutal spin cycle.
A modern young man who'd spent the night ranting about a badly written novel, his last memory was of glaring headlights as he crossed the road.
"Wh-where is this? A film set? Cosplay?"
He stared blankly at the ragged, old-fashioned robe stained with dark-red blood, then touched his own damp golden hair. Before he could figure out what was going on, a faint cry came from the bundle in his arms.
"Holy crap? A baby? I've been single for over twenty years and never even held a girl's hand. How did I wake up with a kid?"
As he reeled in disbelief, a vast flood of memories crashed into his mind like a burst dam, battering its way in.
His name was Qian Xunji.
His lover was a Hundred-Thousand-Year Soul Beast.
He had just been hunted down, and his lover had sacrificed herself.
"Wait, Qian Xunji? Hundred-Thousand-Year Soul Beast? Sacrifice?" His eyes widened. Those words together looked awfully familiar.
"Did I freaking transmigrate into Douluo Continent? And I'm that Secret Chamber Douluo, Qian Xunji? Hold on, wasn't Ah Yin the one who sacrificed herself?"
He hurriedly closed his eyes, gritted his teeth against the pain in his head, and began carefully sorting through the memories of the body's original owner.
A few minutes later, he snapped his eyes open, his expression as if he'd seen a ghost. His features twisted with such sheer disbelief that they practically knotted together.
"...I don't understand..." (in a Douluo accent)
He nearly spat up a mouthful of blood onto the tree trunk. What kind of memories did the original owner have?
First of all, he really was Qian Xunji, but he was also a hopeless romantic. Because he'd fallen in love with A-Dong, the Blue Silver Spider Emperor, the so-called righteous forces of Haotian Hall had hunted him down. In the end, A-Dong had given birth to Qian San and then sacrificed herself, making him the youngest Titled Douluo.
And that righteous force hunting him was called Haotian Hall! The Pope he'd grievously wounded and sent fleeing back there was actually Tang Hao!
And that wasn't all. According to the memories, the Judge Elder and Great Enshrined of Haotian Hall was named Tang Chen, and his Martial Soul was a Divine Level Six-Edged Clear Sky Hammer! Most absurd of all, the deity worshipped by Haotian Hall was called the Earth Hammer God!
"What the hell is an Earth Hammer God? Sounds like a construction foreman from some backwater town! Did they feed their sense of aesthetics to the dogs?" Qian Xunji clutched his hair in despair.
Trembling, he kept sifting through his memories, hoping to find something normal to soothe himself.
His sect was called the Angel Sect. His father, the former Great Elder Qian Daoliu, had been missing for years—though in reality, he'd gone in search of a god's inheritance.
Well, that sounded normal enough.
What about the other sects?
The Blue Lightning Tyrant Dragon Clan from the original story was now called the Blue Lightning Glazed Dragon Clan, and had become the greatest Beast Martial Soul sect in the world!
Their Blue Lightning Glazed Dragon Martial Souls were glazed all over, and their secret technique was called Glazed Transformation. Once mastered, it could turn their entire bodies into glazed crystal, making them indestructible!
The clan leader was Ning Yuanzhen, a Rank 95 Titled Douluo.
His second brother was Ning Luomian, a Rank 82 Soul Douluo, and he also had an illegitimate daughter named Bai Yihu, whose Martial Soul was a mutated Water Dragon. She was Rank 78.
What about Grandmaster Yu Xiaogang? When Qian Xunji reached that part of the memories, he burst into laughter like a pig.
The Grandmaster here was Ning Dagang. After his Martial Soul Evolution failed, his Innate Soul Power was only half a level. His Martial Soul was a Glazed Piglet named Luo Four-Spear, and its attack was to fire stinking fart pellets!
What was more, it could only fire four in a row before needing to cool down! Because of this ridiculous Martial Soul, Ning Dagang had begun studying Martial Soul Theory. He'd gone to Haotian Hall and met the Saintess, Bibi Yin, only for Tang Hao to cruelly tear them apart.
"Hahahaha, a pig that fires stinking fart pellets." Even more absurdly, Ning Dagang, Bai Yihu, and Fu Lanya, whose Martial Soul was a One-Eyed Dog Owl, could combine their powers into a Martial Soul Fusion Skill called the Black Iron Fallen Dragon!
Finally, the Seven Treasure Glazed Tile Sect from the original story had transformed into the Seven Treasure Overlord Pagoda Sect. Its setup was even more bizarre: its Martial Soul was a seven-story pagoda. Its members had an inborn limit and could never break through Rank 79 in their entire lives.
Every time they absorbed a Spirit Ring, the corresponding Soul Beast was imprisoned on the matching floor of the pagoda. In battle, they could summon it directly to fight! They'd become summoners! The current sect leader, Yu Fengzhi, was a miserable Rank 79 Soul Sage.
The sect had two guardian Douluo: one was Gu Xin, whose Martial Soul was a Bone Sword. Though his Martial Soul was a sword, he pursued the way of protection, and was Rank 95. The other was Chen Rong, whose Martial Soul was a Seven Kill Dragon. He pursued killing intent every day, and was also Rank 95.
"..."
Qian Xunji had gotten used to it. There was nothing he could do.
He let out a long breath of stale air and looked at the infant in his arms. The baby had stopped crying and was gazing at him with a pair of round, bright eyes.
"So you're Qian San, huh?" Qian Xunji reached out and poked the baby's soft cheek.
"Your mom's a spider cocoon, your enemies are Haotian Hall, and your dad's a wanted criminal who's got the rank of a Titled Douluo but is so badly injured he could drop dead at any moment... This father-and-son start is way too thrilling."
Bracing himself against the tree, Qian Xunji forced himself to his feet despite feeling like his whole body was falling apart. No matter how topsy-turvy and absurd this world was, now that he'd taken over this body, he had to survive first. As for that Earth Hammer God and the glazed pig that fired farts, he'd have plenty of time to see them for himself.
He breathed in the cold air, sharp with the smell of earth, wrapped Qian San a little tighter, and limped out of the hollow.
After following a path through the woods for a while, he spotted the faint outline of a village ahead. A weather-beaten wooden sign stood at the village entrance, three crooked characters carved into it—
Soul Saint Village.
Qian Xunji stopped and looked up at the sign, which seemed to reek of fateful destiny, then down at Qian San, who was sucking on his finger.
He sighed helplessly and raised the hand that wasn't holding the baby, pressing it hard against his forehead.
"Forget it. To hell with Haotian Hall and the Angel Sect. I'll take it one step at a time."
Before you continue