Warhammer 40K: The Jokester Who Saves the World
Chapter 16

The Sneaky Observer

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Warhammer's setting was really a space opera. Strictly speaking, Hogg hadn't once been a true Warhammer fan—he'd only been a lore fan. He'd just found all the 40K jokes pretty funny, so his goofy friends had led him down the rabbit hole. He had to admit, the miniatures were really expensive. Those plastic merchants were real crooks.

He remembered watching videos at home when his mother asked him why the Emperor hadn't known his sons would betray him. If she'd been the Emperor, she said, she would've given the kids a good smack as soon as they showed signs of rebellion.

All he could say was that his mother was ten thousand years ahead of the Emperor.

His mother was open-minded and tolerant. She'd discussed all sorts of 40K absurdities with him in the living room, and later even played tabletop battles with his friends.

This was Hogg's happiest memory from his life as a fun-loving soul who'd transmigrated into the Warhammer universe. Thinking of all the other Primarchs without mothers made him even happier, and the bridge rang with his joyful pig-like squeals.

As a Primarch, managing his Legion well wasn't easy. The Space Marines were all roughly equal in combat ability, barring a few exceptional cases. Of course, those couldn't be judged by ordinary standards.

The Legions led by different Primarchs all had their own fighting styles. For instance, the Fourth Legion, Blackwatch's good buddies, were short and stocky, like cubes, and loved construction work and siege warfare. The Imperial Fists also liked construction work, but they were tall and favored defensive combat. The Space Wolves were like guard dogs; the Emperor's Children liked running around in three dimensions, putting on makeup, and doing the old ten.

The Blackwatch Legion's strengths were its high resistance and powerful regenerative abilities. Though they were short and their physical strength wasn't as impressive as that of other Legions, they consistently had the highest battlefield survival rate. Combined with the airlift troops native to Alicia, this led the Legion to favor hit-and-run tactics, striking deep into the enemy's heart.

Their goofy nature meant veterans didn't scheme against new recruits as much as those in other Legions did. That was a good thing. Hogg also did his best to look after his Legion's sons and meet their little needs.

For instance, Blackwatch members liked keeping bizarre hairstyles, so he let them do as they pleased, as long as they were happy and it didn't affect their fighting. He also did his best to ensure the food in the Blacklight's dining hall was top-notch, offering the soldiers a variety of flavors and specialties so that mealtimes became a pleasure.

At the same time, Hogg treated mortal soldiers as equals and did his best to improve their conditions. He didn't care what other people did, but anyone who joined his Legion and became one of his own would be treated as a real person. This was a valuable lesson Hogg had learned during his time in the military.

Everyone had something they were good at. Hogg's job was to coordinate them and unite them into a whole.

If he wasn't good at management, he let someone who was handle it. If he wasn't good at fighting, he had experienced veterans teach the others so that they could all improve together. This was the Blackwatch Legion's unique culture.

On the Blacklight's bridge, the cremated remains of the fallen were placed in small metal boxes, each engraved with the deceased's life story and glorious deeds. In the presence of the Legion's soldiers and their Primarch, the boxes were wrapped in the Blackwatch banner, carried aboard transport ships, and sent to a cemetery built on Alicia for burial.

This battle had served as a warning to Hogg. At this stage, the Legion's equipment couldn't adequately protect its soldiers against enemies with advanced technology or against the sorcery-wielding species they might encounter in the future. And since the Legion favored airborne assaults, any failure to withstand enemy attacks could result in devastating casualties.

With help from the many Tech-priests whose minds were steeped in religion, the Xenos weapons and equipment were dismantled, and new experimental gear was manufactured.

The Xenos' excellent plasma weapons were given a fresh coat of paint and new casing, then issued directly to the troops. They received unanimous praise.

They were a little less powerful, but their improved cooling systems made sustained plasma fire possible. The Elysian Drop Troops now had lighter, more powerful firepower.

In the Blacklight's forge laboratory, Hogg and Candice Laza tinkered with the shield generator that had caused the Legion such heavy losses. They hoped to use its principles to make a cheap personal shield, since the reactor in a standard Mark III Power Armor couldn't power one of these things.

Their analysis showed that the device needed psychic power to channel Warp energy and form a shield. But the Laer Lizardmen had no great psychic talent—in fact, their species was woefully lacking in it. So they had to make up for that with numbers, using something akin to soul sacrifice to activate the shields. That was why there were Xenos corpses scattered around them.

But the two of them came up with a solution. They found a carefully guarded sample of Greenskin spores in the Legion's stores and used growth accelerants to cultivate some Greenskin creatures. Under everyone's watchful eyes, they placed one in a sealed chamber and plunged several electrodes directly into its brain, sending electric shocks through it to stimulate psychic waves.

The good news was that their experiment worked: the shield formed, though it had turned green.

They cut off the cultivated Greenskin's limbs and turned it into a brain-in-a-jar battery, connecting it to a miniature shield generator and shaping the whole thing into a shield. As long as a Space Marine powered the shield, the Greenskin brain in the jar would be shocked, covering the shield in an oily green barrier that could repel attacks.

Tests showed that when activated, the shield could withstand sustained fire from Bolters and personal plasma weapons. Though prolonged attacks would overload it, forcing it to rely on its materials to take the hit, it was cheap and effective. It greatly improved the soldiers' chances of survival.

The Tech-priests cheered, exclaiming that the Omnissiah had manifested and offering prayers to Hogg. Some goofy Blackwatch soldiers joined in, too.

What was interesting was that the Greenskin brain, repeatedly shocked after being turned into a battery, was actually thrilled. When it learned it would be sent into the bloodiest battles, it happily chatted with the soldiers, believing it to be a blessing from Gork and Mork. Greenskins really were a cheerful bunch.

Just as Hogg was thinking about brewing beer with Greenskins, a message interrupted his train of thought.

Yado was an Aeldari Farseer from the Alaitoc Craftworld. Compared to their crazed Dark Eldar kin, the Craftworld Eldar were far more sensible, though some humans couldn't tell the difference between the Aeldari.

During one of his divinations, he received a divine revelation: a turning point had come for the Aeldari. A follower of Cegorach appeared before him, dressed in flamboyant clothes like a theater clown.

[The Emperor's Black King is the key to your return to Silence.]

After receiving the divine revelation, the old Farseer began investigating. Thanks to the Webway, the Aeldari could travel all over the Galaxy as if stepping through portals, and they soon discovered the Primarch's whereabouts.

They'd been looking for a chance to approach him ever since. But the humans were at war, and past experience suggested that showing up unannounced might lead to a firefight. So they could only follow him from a distance. Now, at last, their opportunity had come.

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