Are You Joking?

Yack's explanation sounded completely unreasonable, and upon closer inspection, it remained just as unreasonable. According to Hogg's experiments, when those tech-priests prayed to him, he felt disgusted, yet he could also vaguely sense someone worshipping him; it was a very peculiar sensation.

However, even if these Eldar were covered in Imperial Truths and double-headed eagle insignias, what did that have to do with him? Hogg saw their problem at a glance: they were worshipping the wrong target. If they continued as they were, they would still be dragged back by Slaanesh to serve as soul-fodder after death.

As the saying goes, one does not strike a smiling face, and considering the weight of that planet, Hogg patiently explained the reasoning to the Eldar before him.

"Yack, right? Don't be in such a hurry. I must say, your Gothic is quite good. Is there a possibility that your faith simply isn't pious enough? First of all, I am not a god. Secondly, your utilitarian mindset will not earn you my help. Besides, what the hell does you drawing a double-headed eagle have to do with me? I am not Emperor. Furthermore, the Imperium strictly forbids this kind of religious worship; you're putting me in a very difficult position."

Hogg rubbed his fingers together, hoping the Eldar would understand his implication.

It's said that those who reach the status of Farseer are no ordinary individuals. Even without understanding the specific meaning of the human's gesture, Yack could infer the general intent.

"Lord Primarch, our Alaitoc Craftworld may not be much, but we do have some assets. Whatever you need, I will find a way to get it for you."

"Sigh! Look at you, rushing again. I've said it so many times: this is a matter of faith. How can you talk about 'getting' things? Mind your language, my Eldar High Priest. Don't keep calling me 'Lord' when you speak to me in the future."

"Then what should I address you as?" the Eldar asked cautiously, watching the Primarch, who was clearly enjoying himself on the throne.

"Use titles for work. I'll take a loss here; just call me Holy Father from now on!"

The Eldar knelt one after another, greeting him, "Lord Holy Father."

"Get up, no kneeling. We in the Blackwatch Legion don't go in for that sort of thing; it makes it look like I'm forcing you. You can ask my Chief of Staff, Emilia Aziz, about basic etiquette."

"Stand up and speak. Yack, I'll say this in advance: I don't care if you worship me, but you must join the Blackwatch Legion and contribute. Don't think I'm trying to freeload off you. Do you know why your prayers were useless before?"

Although it was true that if they genuinely worshipped him, their souls might reach the chaotic tentacles in the Warp after death, that mass of chaotic tentacles was Hogg himself. Whether he wanted to capture those souls was entirely up to him, but these Eldar didn't know that. If he didn't properly extract their value, wouldn't that be the same as being freeloaded by them? Hogg, who hated freeloaders most of all, would never allow such a thing to happen.

Old Yack, having found hope for his race, said excitedly, "Please, Holy Father, enlighten us."

Hogg took out a limited-edition Blackwatch Legion Primarch miniature and placed it on the table. The others were confused, but Hogg pointed at the piece and said:

"First, the target of your faith is wrong. I am me, and Imperium is Imperium. If I hadn't discovered this early, who knows which demons or monsters would have snatched you up after you kept praying. From now on, pray to this."

"Secondly, you don't understand my philosophy, so there is no foundation for faith. You are simply craving peace of mind. Don't rush to refute me yet."

"I am different from the other Primarchs of Imperium. I do not oppose the inclusion of xenos. As long as you identify with my philosophy and the Imperial Truth, and do not harm humans, you are qualified to join us. The galaxy is vast and can accommodate many lives; Imperium also has many abhumans."

"Look around you. My legion is full of alien technology; that's nothing. Perhaps in the distant past, the Old Ones visited Terra and created a group of primate monkeys. Look at how similar we look—we all have noses and eyes. Maybe humans and Eldar are even long-lost brothers from different mothers."

"Yack, as long as you can live and die with the Blackwatch Legion and remain loyal to me, I promise to grant you peace and glory after death. What is your answer?"

"Then, as things stand, we have only one choice. I hereby swear my loyalty to you. Great Holy Father!!" Yack stood up and snapped his staff in half, as if he had made a great resolution.

"Hahahaha, excellent. I appreciate you. Withdraw now; in the Blackwatch Legion, you will find your own salvation." The group of Eldar left the bridge and returned to their Eldar mothership.

Guard Captain Lyla Lynn poked his head out. "Father, are you really willing to take in these Eldar? They are fickle, petty people."

"Come here! Closer. Yes, yes, keep your helmet on."

Thwack! A flick of the finger hit the helmet, leaving a dent.

"Are you blind? That old guy clearly has an ace up his sleeve. Maybe he's on the mothership right now talking to their leader. Do you believe that if worshipping me turns out to be useless later, they'll do everything in their power to abduct me and turn me into their crematorium?"

"They wouldn't dare! ┗|｀O′|┛" the enraged Lyla Lynn roared.

"What's the rush? It hasn't happened yet. I'll tell you all a secret; gather around." The group was delighted; Dad always had some peculiar secrets to share.

Watching the black-armored soldiers gather around and pull out snacks and stools, Hogg sat on his throne and began to speak:

"Eldar are different from humans. According to the Old Ones—their creators—they were tuned to be a fully psychic race. After the War in Heaven, the Necrons—the kind of robots we once dug up on a planet—went into hibernation, and the Eldar developed rapidly, becoming a force to be reckoned with in the galaxy at the time."

He took a sip of cola to soothe his dry lips, and the Primarch's voice continued:

"Later, well, they got cocky, just like humans. The Eldar began to let loose and go crazy, eventually creating an extremely powerful energy entity—what we commonly call a god. Then, almost all the Eldar souls were devoured. That evil god is Slaanesh. Of course, I'm telling you this, but don't go spreading it around! After Slaanesh was born, it began to hunt them down, and the Eldar declined."

"Then why are they looking for you, Father?" asked Ginny, the Fourth Company Commander, while chewing on a Latiao.

"Good question! They came here because they covet your father's great power."

"Gene-primarchs were created by Emperor using treasures from the Warp. Each has the potential to become a minor god. That is why Primarchs are so formidable in the physical universe—because gene-primarchs are not human at all. But I am different. I am a true human, born on Terra in 2K, raised in 3K, and died, only to be picked up by Emperor and cultivated into a Primarch."

"Compared to other gene-primarchs, I'm even tougher. Even a lance bombardment cannot fundamentally kill my physical body because I have no soul. At the same time, while creatures worshipping me cannot make me stronger, they cannot affect me either. The souls of believers spontaneously orbit my essence, and I can perfectly erase them whenever I want."

"So they came here for this peace after death, and to use my characteristics to confuse Slaanesh's gaze as much as possible while they are alive."

"But, Father, are you really going to shelter them?"

"No rush! Play with them for a while. By the way, have Candice go and take over that planet; let's enjoy the benefits first."

(I am a complete newbie author. Please point out any mistakes. I am a tabletop player and don't know much about the details, so please bear with me, hehe!)