Warhammer 40K: The Jokester Who Saves the World
Chapter 47

Master Hogg's Remedy Worked Like a Charm

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As humanity's most powerful psyker, the Emperor had seen too much in his long life as a Perpetual.

Magnus's current condition wasn't unprecedented. But the only way to resolve it was for Magnus to do it himself. Not even the Emperor could help him.

The Emperor explained Magnus's condition to the other two, and they began discussing a workable solution.

To compare it to the cultivation novels Hogg had read, Magnus's Dao heart had shattered, and his three souls and seven spirits had been thrown into chaos by inner demons. The only way back to the orthodox path was through his own enlightenment.

Once he understood the situation, Hogg curled his lip. Just as he'd thought: magic users were trash. Unlike him, a noble Fury Warrior.

Listening to the Emperor and Malcador discuss possible solutions, from psychic hypnosis to memory erasure, Hogg—who had his arms folded—could only think that the two of them were such a pair of fussbudgets!

"Quit arguing. You're both making a big deal out of nothing. I can guarantee a quick and complete cure."

Hogg shoved Malcador out of his way and stepped in front of the faded-looking Magnus to begin his treatment.

You might ask why he didn't shove the Emperor instead. Well, Hogg would have to be able to beat him first! With that terrible temper, the Emperor would just smack him around. Meanwhile, the good-natured Malcador was just the right size.

"Little Pony, don't blame your brother. I'm treating you, after all. If you have to blame someone, blame our hapless dad for not keeping a closer eye on you."

Watching Hogg roll his shoulders and look raring to go, Magnus had a bad feeling.

"What are you going to do, you short Ogryn? Hngh!"

Hogg was all about efficiency. He gave Magnus no time to think, leaping up and punching him in the jaw, knocking out two of his teeth.

"You little punk! Who the hell gave you time to stand around having an existential crisis? You're just asking for a beating. You sunburned Ogryn, you brainless idiot!"

Cursing up a storm, Hogg beat the weak and helpless sunburned Ogryn. Magnus tried to fight back, but golden psychic energy sealed off the space around them.

In terms of raw physical strength, even two Little Ponies wouldn't be enough for Hogg to beat on. Even if Vulkan showed up, Hogg could beat him into a cripple as short as himself.

The more Hogg fought, the more into it he got. A tail sprouted from his body, and the tough, five-meter-long appendage wrapped around Magnus like a rope, stopping him from escaping.

"You got big, but you didn't grow a brain! And you call yourself a Spiritling? I'll beat you until your own father doesn't recognize you, hngh! You belong in a cesspit, eating that *&%!"

The five-meter-tall Little Pony was struck in the knee by Hogg and fell to the ground. Even though his fists could knock a Greater Daemon flat, he could only curl up in a corner and take the beating.

Through the bodies in his way, he spotted the Emperor watching from the sidelines. At that moment, Magnus finally couldn't hold back and cried out:

"Father, save me! Why are you just standing there? Ah, stop hitting me!"

The Emperor and Malcador were just standing there, OMO, omo.

Seeing the Emperor do nothing only spurred Hogg on. Remembering the brutal psychic smack Old Man Yellow had given him before they'd even met, Hogg kicked Magnus hard.

Then he remembered being pinned to the ground and beaten after his return. Electricity crackled around his fist as he rammed it into Little Pony's kidneys, making Magnus cough up blood.

And then there'd been that savage beating. Even his old man in his previous life had never beaten him like that. It really hurt, you old bastard.

His hyper-activated flesh began to boil, and his fingers transformed into Rending Claws wreathed in a disintegration field. He thrust them viciously at Magnus, who was barely clinging to life.

Seeing that Hogg really meant to kill him, the last of the reason in Magnus's mind snapped. Crimson psychic energy burst out of the Warp and crashed into his body. His lost strength returned, and then some.

A pair of enormous red-feathered wings grew from Magnus's back. His withered skin regained its healthy color, and two curved horns sprouted from his head, pointing skyward.

A massive psychic vortex formed in the sky, stirring up strange signs in heaven and earth. The surging energy blasted everything in the laboratory away. All kinds of debris and metal flew through the air, with even a slender figure caught up among them.

After suffering such a brutal beating and shock, Magnus had unleashed part of his Warp Essence. It was like Bai Ci Nan after suffering the ultimate humiliation!

His transformed body couldn't even be contained by the Emperor's spatial seal, and the psychic energy within him was ten times—no, nine times—greater than before.

"Hell yeah! What incredible power! I'll crush you all!"

The powerful, sunburned Ogryn, now driven by instinct and stripped of reason, roared. His blood-red eyes fixed on the most conspicuous figure below—the Emperor.

Hogg had long since left the fight and burrowed into the floor, leaving only his head sticking out. Looking at the apocalyptic scene, he couldn't help launching into commentary.

"Hundred-thousand-horsepower spin! Warp-destroying sword! Gwah!"

"Two hundred thousand horsepower! Golden-wave fist! Yah!"

Magnus plunged from the sky, bringing destructive psychic power with him as he charged the Emperor, who had raised his fist. Then—he was taken down in a single move.

Magnus had been knocked flat, and the "mighty sunburned Ogryn" had devolved into a "sunburned Ogryn." Hogg grabbed a whole bucket of cold water and dumped it over him.

Little Pony jolted awake and scrambled to his feet. Looking at the scene around him, which resembled the aftermath of an Orbital Bombardment, he was bewildered.

"I remember Hogg was going to treat himself. Then what happened? Right! He actually dared to beat up the great Crimson King! You little runt, what are you doing?"

As his memories returned, Magnus grabbed Hogg by the collar and lifted him up.

"Put him down, Magnus. Your brother saved you."

The Emperor stopped Little Pony. The method had been unusual, but the results were excellent. It made the Emperor wonder whether he could apply this sort of physical education to the other Primarchs.

At the Emperor's command, Magnus obediently lowered Hogg. He knew Hogg had been trying to save him, but Hogg had beaten him too hard. His speech still came out with a whistle through the gaps in his teeth.

Hogg, thoroughly satisfied, was also sensible enough to praise how ferocious Magnus had been during his transformation. That finally cheered him up.

The Adeptus Custodes brought people in to clean up the laboratory, which had been reduced to ruins. A squad of yellow-painted Imperial Fists arrived in construction vehicles and began pouring concrete on-site.

After causing such a commotion, Magnus and Hogg could only stand there and listen to the Emperor's holy string of curses before being allowed to leave. But they were given a task.

Hogg was to help Magnus resolve the mutation in the Thousand Sons' Gene-seed. With no laboratory left to use, the two had no choice but to return to the Blacklight, docked at the spaceport.

Watching the two Primarchs, one big and one small, leave, the Emperor also set off for the Imperial Palace with Malcador.

Once they were alone on the way, the Emperor spoke:

"My friend, I was right in my decision back then, wasn't I? He really is our opportunity."

"Yes, my lord. Based on my observations, Magnus is very likely the pawn the Changing Sky has been scheming for. But have you thought this through? Every gain comes at a cost."

"I understand what you mean, but Magnus is an important backup plan. He is insurance for our final plan."

The Emperor's answer didn't satisfy Malcador. He stopped walking.

"My lord, do you know why so many of our old friends left you over the years? You're too greedy."

Hearing Malcador's challenge, the Emperor didn't answer. He just continued walking in silence. He knew what his old friend meant, just as the other man understood his thinking.

The two walked on in silence and said nothing more until they reached the gates of the Imperial Palace, doors fashioned like works of art by countless Terra artists.

Looking at the golden doors, where the scene of him leading humanity into the Great Crusade had been carved, the Emperor spoke.

"I know. It's all for humanity. But they're my children, too."

Malcador was a little shocked. He had no idea what the Emperor was trying to pull. This sentimental side of him was nothing like the figure Malcador remembered.

After thinking it over, Malcador smacked the Emperor with his cane. The emotional Emperor jolted, and his sorrowful expression was instantly replaced by a cool one.

"Damn it. I must've been beating that thing too much lately. My human side has been way too active."

The Emperor, once again the Master of Mankind, pushed open the doors and went inside. Malcador followed close behind. They still had to carry out the next step of their plan.

Meanwhile, the slender figure that had crashed into the wasteland had only just pulled their head out of the dirt.

"? Damn Hogg, and damn Magnus, too."

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