This kid...
He knows what I'm doing.
He knew that I was looking at him with the eyes of a psychiatrist, trying to classify him as a "patient in need of help," and trying to understand him using those textbook theories.
He doesn't accept it.
He refuses to be pigeonholed.
That smile, those four words, the light in those eyes--
They are all rejections.
Doctor Liu was silent for a long time.
Then he slowly took off his glasses, wiped the lenses with the corner of his clothes, and slowly put them back on.
This action is not for wiping glasses.
It's to give myself some time to collect my thoughts.
"I understand."
He spoke, his voice deeper and more solemn than before.
"Sorry."
These two words came out of his mouth with a sincere apology.
At night, Wu Zhangkong and Zhong Shenxiu were walking on the road to the college.
The dim street lights cast halos around them, stretching their shadows very long. The early autumn night wind brought a slight coolness, blowing the sycamore leaves on the roadside, making a rustling sound.
The two figures were one behind the other.
Wu Zhangkong walked in front, his white robes gently fluttering in the night wind, and his long sky-blue hair occasionally blown by the wind, glowing softly under the street lights. His steps were still steady, and his back was still straight, as if nothing in the world could make him bend down.
Zhong Shenxiu followed half a step behind him, walking leisurely.
There is a distance of about one meter between the two.
There is no communication.
There are only footsteps.
Ta.
Ta.
Ta.
One heavy and one light, one steady and one light, echoing on the empty campus road.
Occasionally, students who return home late pass by them. When they see these two figures, one big and one small, they will unconsciously slow down their footsteps and lower their voices. Only when they are far away will they whisper -
"That's Teacher Wu, right?"
"Who's that next to you?"
"I don't know... but those eyes are so scary..."
"Go quickly, go quickly."
Those whispers floated into my ears and were quickly blown away by the night wind.
Zhong Shenxiu No response.
He just followed Wu Zhangkong and his eyes fell on the white back in front of him.
That back view was exactly the same as the one he saw when he came out of the solitary room more than three months ago.
Tall and straight.
Cold.
Reliable.
Zhong Shenxiu withdrew his gaze and looked at the sycamore tree on the roadside.
The leaves of the sycamore trees have begun to turn yellow, showing a warm orange-yellow color under the illumination of the street lamps. Occasionally, one or two fallen leaves float down, swirling on the road, and then blown away by the night wind.
The conversation in the infirmary was still swirling in his mind.
That Doctor Liu.
Those gentle eyes.
That "sorry".
Zhong Shenxiu's mouth moved slightly, but soon returned to calm.
He knew that Doctor Liu had good intentions.
Just like Wu Zhangkong, it's out of concern.
But the difference is--
Wu Zhangkong never asked him.
Wu Zhangkong Just give.
Give him help, give him space, give him what he needs - whether it's a soul guidance studio or an opponent who can make him feel the threat of death.
And that Doctor Liu wants to take something from him.
Take away his past.
Take his story.
Take away those things that he doesn't even want to think about.
What then?
Then analyze him, classify him, and label him a "patient"?
Zhong Shenxiu's eyes darkened.
But he didn't let that feeling last long.
Zhong Shenxiu Take a deep breath and let out all the emotions in the infirmary.
Then he quickened his pace and followed.
The two of them continued walking.
Cross the playground, bypass the teaching building, and walk through the path full of sycamore trees.
The lights of the cafeteria have been turned on not far away, and warm yellow light shines through the windows, and students inside can be vaguely seen in twos and threes queuing up for meals.
At this moment.
"Shenxiu."
Wu Zhangkong suddenly spoke.
His voice was as cold as ever, but it seemed particularly clear in this quiet night.
Zhong Shenxiu stopped.
Wu Zhangkong also stopped.
He turned around and looked at Zhong Shenxiu.
The light of the street lamp shone from the side, casting bright and dark shadows on his handsome and cold face. His long sky-blue hair hung down on his shoulders, gently blowing in the night wind.
He looked at Zhong Shenxiu.
There was a serious, almost solemn look in those cold eyes at the moment.
Zhong Shenxiu looked at him, a trace of doubt flashing in his light golden vertical pupils.
Wu Zhangkong pursed his lips.
It was a very subtle movement, but Zhong Shenxiu captured it.
He knows this move.
This is Wu Zhangkong's habit when thinking about his words.
He has seen her too many times in the past three months.
Every time Wu Zhangkong would purse her lips like this before saying something important.
Zhong Shenxiu didn't speak, just waited quietly.
Wu Zhangkong opening.
"If you need it."
He spoke very slowly, word by word, as if confirming the weight of each word.
"You can come to me again."
He paused, and something flashed across his cold eyes.
Then he added:
"You can also challenge me."
The voice fell.
The night wind blew by, making the sycamore leaves rustle.
The noise from the canteen in the distance could be heard faintly, but it seemed to be separated by an invisible barrier, becoming distant and blurry.
Zhong Shenxiu looked at Wu Zhangkong blankly.
Those light golden vertical pupils reflected the dim yellow of the street lamp and Wu Zhangkong's serious face.
He was stunned.
Not because of the content of that sentence.
It's because of the way he said it.
"If you need it."
Not "you should", not "you must", not "I suggest you".
But "if you need it".
"You can come to me again."
Not an order, not a requirement, not even an invitation.
Just provide a choice.
A choice he can decide for himself whether to accept or not.
"You can also challenge me."
When these words fell into my ears, Zhong Shenxiu felt something move slightly in my chest.
That's a very strange feeling.
Not warm.
Not moved.
But...
It's the feeling of being understood.
Wu Zhangkong knows what he needs.
Knowing that he needs to fight, needs to be challenged, needs opponents who can make him feel the threat of death.
So he said - you can also challenge me.
It's not "I can teach you", it's not "I can guide you".
But "challenge".
Treat him as an equal opponent, not a student who needs teaching.
Zhong Shenxiu looked at Wu Zhangkong.
I watched it for a long time.
Then, he laughed.
That smile was different from the one in the infirmary before.
The smiles in the infirmary are cold, mocking, and repulsive.
And this smile--
It's warm.
Although it's very light, it's so light that you can't even notice it if you don't look carefully.
But it was indeed warm.
The slightly upward curve of the corners of the mouth affects the muscles of the face, forming a strange, almost soft expression on that angular face.
There was something glowing slightly in those light golden vertical pupils.
It's not the reflection of a streetlight.
It's true light.
The light coming from within.
Zhong Shenxiu shook his head.
The movement was very light, with a sense of helplessness.
Then he spoke.
"Teacher Wu."
He said, his voice softer than usual.
"If you don't tell me, I will challenge you."
Wu Zhangkong looked at him.
A faint smile flashed across those cold eyes.
The smile was so faint that it was almost imperceptible, but it was definitely there.
"I know."
he said.