Found Her Own Path

"Go out for a walk." Xiao Hua had finally gotten some free time, but the inexplicable anxiety had returned, so she decided to go out for a while.

She passed fields of green, where many crops were growing. Some she had seen before in the Earth Realm where she once lived; others were completely unfamiliar.

Six years, Xiao Hua thought. Our Human Race has changed so much. There are so many things I don't know anymore.

But where had those six lost years gone?

Everyone told Xiao Hua that she had died once, then the Ancestral Deities had brought her back to life.

But Xiao Hua couldn't remember anything that had happened after her death.

Was her unease connected to the Ancestral Deities?

Before she knew it, Xiao Hua had reached the Great Temple.

The Great Temple was the largest temple dedicated to the Ancestral Deities. It stood at the very top of Fang Mountain, a little way from Xiao Hua's home.

She usually only went inside for ceremonies. In the two months since her return, she had entered just twice: once on the day she came back, and once for a celebration arranged for her afterward.

Both visits had been hurried. Xiao Hua suddenly realized that she had never properly thanked the Ancestral Deities.

After all, the Ancestral Deities had brought her back to life.

Without the miracle the Ancestral Deities had shown, who knew how much Shu Zi and their son would have cried?

With that thought, Xiao Hua entered the Great Temple.

The temple was crowded with people, both shamans and worshippers.

Some worshippers came in just to pay their respects before leaving. Others seemed to be praying for some great wish. They spread a mat on the ground, prostrated themselves, and bowed again and again.

Xiao Hua watched them curiously. Before she died, worship had not been nearly so popular among the tribe.

When the people nearby saw Xiao Hua arrive, they respectfully made way for her.

As she watched the devout tribespeople around her, Xiao Hua slowly approached the statues of the Ancestral Deities.

The statues here were newly made. The tribespeople said they had hardly seen the Ancestral Deities appear in recent years and missed them dearly, so Shu Zi had led the entire tribe in building these three statues in the Great Temple.

Xiao Hua tilted her head back to look at them.

In the center sat the Eastern God Emperor, the great Dong Yao. His statue had thick eyebrows, large eyes, and a stern, imposing face.

On the left was the Western God Lord, the great Xi Yuan. His statue had a gentle face, much like that of a mother.

On the right was the Heavenly Fire God Lord, the great Li Huo. His statue was full of heroic spirit, practically that of a god of war.

Xiao Hua gazed at the three statues, but the anxiety still lingered in her heart. Coming here to worship the gods had done nothing to ease it.

She glanced at the tribespeople kneeling nearby, prostrating themselves and bowing their heads over and over.

Could performing such a grand act of worship bring peace to the heart?

Xiao Hua asked a shaman beside the statues for a mat. The shaman gladly brought her the largest one.

Xiao Hua spread it out, then lowered herself onto both knees.

It still wasn't enough, her heart cried out. Something was missing.

She looked at the people around her, at their expressions—some numb, some fervent, some hopeful.

The one thing they had in common was the feeling that they had given up on themselves and placed their hopes in the gods before them...

Xiao Hua copied them. She knelt again, bent forward, then buried herself deep in the mat.

In that instant, a familiar feeling, as if buried deep in her bones and blood, surged through her whole body.

This was the feeling!

Xiao Hua trembled all over. This was what it felt like to let go of her own resolve and entrust herself to unknown gods. No need to worry, no need to rely on herself. The gods would choose; the gods would bear the burden and decide everything.

And her own self was insignificant.

By the time Xiao Hua left the Great Temple, she felt blissful.

She no longer had any worries or anxiety. All her negative feelings had vanished.

Then she made a decision.

That evening.

"What!" Shu Zi was so shocked that he couldn't speak for a long while. At last, he asked, "Did someone give you a hard time?"

Xiao Hua shook her head.

Shu Zi asked again, "Then are you feeling unwell, or did Ying Zi upset you?"

Ying Zi was the name of their son. Xiao Hua shook her head again.

Shu Zi slumped helplessly into a chair. "Then why are you insisting on leaving home to live in the Great Temple and become a full-time shaman?"

Xiao Hua lowered her head slightly and said softly, "Because I think that's what suits me best."

That meek posture left Shu Zi helpless. He tried everything, but nothing could persuade Xiao Hua to change her mind.

In the end, Xiao Hua moved to the Great Temple by herself.

Because of her special status, all the tribespeople treated her with the utmost respect. When she said she wanted to become a shaman, the tribe quickly had two elderly shamans welcome her and personally teach her everything a shaman needed to do.

The knowledge a shaman had to learn was extremely complicated for the relatively simple-minded Human Race of that time. It included how to conduct ceremonies, how to dress, how to recite prayers, how to guide the tribespeople, and much more.

Back then, even with the great Dong Yao teaching them, it had taken these shamans a very long time to learn it all.

But Xiao Hua learned with ease.

A little over twenty days later, Xiao Hua made her formal debut at a ceremony in the Great Temple, dressed in shaman's robes.

She walked slowly from one side of the Great Temple to the center, her steps steady and her bearing elegant. Then she took the ceremonial banner from an elderly shaman, turned around, and faced all the tribespeople with poise. Everyone present held their breath.

Dressed in shaman's robes, Xiao Hua was no longer the gentle wife and mother she had been. Her presence had become sacred and solemn.

Her eyes brimmed with reverence, and her cheeks seemed to glow.

Though she stood inside the Great Temple, she seemed to belong somewhere high above, beyond the clouds.

As a woman, Xiao Hua often took part in physical labor, but she was not at all sturdy; if anything, she was delicate.

Yet when this woman, who should have been weak, swept her solemn gaze across the tribespeople, they felt they couldn't oppose her. One after another, they lowered their heads.

Xiao Hua's entrance had left the entire Great Temple utterly silent!

From then on, no one ever objected to Xiao Hua leaving her family to become a shaman.

While Xiao Hua successfully conducted the ceremony, Shu Zi was alone, hiding in a corner of the tribe.

He hadn't gone to see Xiao Hua's first appearance as a shaman, so he didn't know how brilliantly his wife had shone during the ceremony.

His face was unshaven and haggard. He leaned limply against the wall, as if all the strength had been drained from his body.

After he had been alone for who knew how long, footsteps sounded outside. A little while later, his deputy called from the doorway:

"Xiao Hua is doing well now..."

"Get out!" Shu Zi shouted.

He didn't want to hear it. The better the news, the less he wanted to hear it.

Shu Zi couldn't understand why Xiao Hua had changed. He knew she was still his Xiao Hua, truly his wife; he wasn't mistaken. He could also feel how much she cared for him and Ying Zi.

During the month since her return, he had seen everything Xiao Hua did for their family. In his heart, he had vowed to work even harder, so that one day his wife wouldn't have to work so hard anymore.

But now she had put everything aside and left home.

Shu Zi couldn't understand her. While Xiao Hua was living at the Great Temple, he had used his privileges as chief to visit her many times.

"Did I do something wrong? Tell me and I'll change, all right?"

"As long as you come back, I can give up anything. I won't come home so late anymore. I'll make sure you don't have to work so hard."

"I'd even give up being chief. Just come back..."

But no matter how much he pleaded, Xiao Hua refused to return.

Even bringing Ying Zi along to plead with her didn't work.

Xiao Hua held Ying Zi for a while, then hugged Shu Zi too. But she remained firm.

"I'm not coming back. Go."

Shu Zi's legs gave way, and he sank to his knees. "C-can't you give Ying Zi and me a complete family?"

Tears slowly streamed down Xiao Hua's cheeks, but she wiped them away and shook her head.

"You don't understand, Shu Zi," Xiao Hua said.

"It's not because of you. It's because that kind of life isn't right for me."

Xiao Hua gazed deeply at the man who had once been her husband and said:

"I've found my own path."