Long Xiaoyao parted his lips, wanting to demand an explanation.
He wanted to ask her, why had she done this?
Why had she made him and Mu En suffer for so many years?
But when the words reached his lips, it felt as though something had blocked them. No matter what, he couldn't get them out.
Ye Xishui was looking at him too.
Her expression was just as complicated, but what filled her eyes most was fear.
That fear was like a drowning person watching the last piece of driftwood float away.
"I'm sorry, Xiaoyao."
She spoke first, her voice trembling.
"I'm sorry."
"Back then, I did it for your own good, to protect you."
"I'm sorry, Xiaoyao. I truly only wanted to protect you and Mu En."
"I'm sorry..."
She kept repeating herself, as though saying it enough times would make it true.
The more Long Xiaoyao listened, the more disappointed he became.
What he wanted was the truth.
Even if all she said was "I was wrong," he would still have been willing to try to understand and forgive her.
But she didn't.
Even now, she was still making excuses, still using the word "protection" to whitewash everything.
He wanted to curse her.
But when he looked at her face, he couldn't bring himself to.
Decades of love hadn't been false.
Even though his heart was being cut to pieces at this moment, those memories, carved into his very bones, wouldn't vanish just because he'd learned the truth today.
Long Xiaoyao took a deep breath, keeping his voice as calm as he could.
"I spent the first half of my life trying to atone to you."
He looked at Ye Xishui and spoke each word clearly.
"From today on, I'll spend the rest of my life atoning to Mu En."
His voice was calm, but beneath that calm churned thirty years of pain.
"Xishui, take care of yourself."
With that, he turned around.
Ye Xishui froze for an instant.
Then she broke down.
"Xiaoyao!"
She rushed forward and grabbed his sleeve, her fingers clutching the fabric so tightly that her knuckles turned white.
"Don't go! I have nothing left. You're all I have!"
Her voice was sharp and broken, like a shattered mirror, each fragment reflecting her fear.
"Don't you love me? You're the only one I've ever loved, Xiaoyao!"
Tears rolled down her face, tearing apart the face that had always been so proud, leaving it shattered by fear and grief.
"Don't go! Please, don't go!"
Long Xiaoyao stopped.
He stood with his back to her, without turning around.
At that moment, what welled up inside him wasn't pity, but anger.
Thirty years. He had waited thirty years for an explanation, only to receive this pale attempt to hold him back.
He still didn't turn around. At last, he spoke, his voice edged with anger he'd suppressed for far too long.
"Why are you still trying to keep me?"
He paused, his voice sounding as though he'd forced the words through gritted teeth.
"What you really want is power!"
"What excuse are you still making?"
"Do you think we're still those naive young people who knew nothing of the world?"
"Is there any point in saying all that now?"
Ye Xishui shuddered.
Her hand still clutched his sleeve, but she looked as if all the strength had drained from her. Her face was deathly pale.
"No, Xiaoyao, it's not like that!"
Her voice grew more frantic, more broken.
"I really was trying to protect you and Mu En back then!"
"If I hadn't made you two go your separate ways, Zhongli Old Ghost would definitely have made a move against you!"
"I gave everything I had for you!"
"Xiaoyao, believe me. I truly only wanted to protect you!"
Long Xiaoyao finally turned around.
He looked at her, the corners of his mouth lifting.
It wasn't a smile. It was a cold sneer.
It was the cold sneer of someone so utterly disappointed that even sorrow had become a luxury.
She was still making excuses.
Even now, she was still making excuses.
Looking at Ye Xishui before him, Long Xiaoyao suddenly felt as though he had never known this woman at all.
The Ye Xishui of those days had been proud but not hypocritical, willful but sincere.
But every word from the woman before him now felt unfamiliar.
He was tired.
Not physically tired, but tired in his heart.
It was the exhaustion of someone who had been deceived for thirty years and had finally seen the truth, only to find that even anger felt powerless.
"Xishui, there's no point in saying any of this."
His voice sank, as though he had run out of strength.
"As the Light Screen said, if you truly wanted to protect Mu En and me, there were countless ways you could have struck back at Zhongli Old Ghost and made us completely safe!"
"I never held a grudge against Shrek Academy!"
His voice suddenly rose again, like thirty years of pent-up grievance had finally found an outlet.
"And for all those decades in between, you made Mu En and me suffer!"
"We already had the strength to deal with Zhongli Old Ghost, yet you still refused to tell us the truth!"
"If you hadn't been on the verge of death, if the Light Screen hadn't exposed you, you would have hidden it for the rest of your life!"
"You would have left me drowning in guilt for my entire life, and Mu En drowning in grief for his!"
"You made us wish we were dead, yet unable to die; made living a torment!"
He looked at Ye Xishui, his eyes reddening, his voice beginning to tremble.
"You call that protecting us?!"
His voice suddenly dropped until it was almost a mutter.
"We would've been better off dying at Zhongli Old Ghost's hands..."
"At least death would have been better than a lifetime of pain."
The great hall fell silent.
Only the Light Screen continued silently showing those past events, like a bystander coldly watching this farce.
Long Xiaoyao took a deep breath, then slowly let it out.
He still loved Ye Xishui.
He knew he still loved her.
Decades of love wouldn't all disappear just because he'd learned the truth today.
But so what?
The love was real, and so was the pain.
Thirty years of guilt, thirty years of torment, thirty years of wishing he were dead wouldn't vanish with a single "I love you."
The only thing he wanted to do now was find Mu En.
Of the three of them, Mu En had suffered the most.
He had already wronged Mu En. Now that he knew the truth, he couldn't keep ignoring him.
Long Xiaoyao looked deeply at Ye Xishui.
That gaze held too much.
Reluctance, resentment, pity, disappointment, love, hatred, acceptance, unwillingness.
All those emotions tangled together, and in the end, became a long sigh.
He turned around. This time, he didn't stop again.
"Xiaoyao! Xiaoyao!"
Ye Xishui's shrill cries came from behind him.
"I really was trying to protect you! I did nothing wrong, I did nothing wrong!"
"The world is at fault, not me!"
"I... why? Why are you all targeting me?"
"Xiaoyao, why are you betraying me too?"
Her voice echoed through the great hall, sharp and despairing, like a trapped beast letting out its final roar.
No one answered her.
Long Xiaoyao's figure disappeared through the great hall's doorway.
Ye Xishui sank to the floor, her tears blurring her vision.
Her mouth kept moving, as though she was still saying something, but her voice had grown so faint that even she could no longer hear it.
The empty great hall held no one but her.
And the Light Screen.
And upon that Light Screen, the sins and punishments of her entire life.
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