Shrek's Most Mortifying Moment!

At the entrance to Shrek Academy, the murderous aura that had nearly torn space apart reached an awkward peak the moment Tang San's sneak attack failed and he collapsed in a miserable heap.

Zhao Wuji twitched in the pit, his life or death uncertain. Li Yusong stood there with the Dragon Pattern Staff in hand, caught between advancing and retreating. And Tang San, the main character in all this...

At that moment, he stared at the three Bone-Piercing Nails embedded three inches into the stone, his face deathly pale. Overwhelmed by terror, his breathing had turned rapid and ragged. The severed lock of hair only made his otherwise handsome face look all the more ridiculous and pitiful.

In the deathly silence—the kind that could make someone curl their toes hard enough to dig out a three-bedroom apartment—a wildly inappropriate wooden-wheel rumble came from around the bend in the village road, accompanied by a slightly hoarse yet professionally fake-cheerful sales pitch.

"Sausages for sale! Sausages for sale! Don't miss out as you pass by! Freshly made, top-grade Recovery Sausages! Cure all ills and restore your strength! Only five Copper Soul Coins apiece! Fair prices, no cheating young or old!"

Everyone instinctively looked toward the voice.

A boy pushing a simple wooden cart came bouncing down the road.

He looked about the same age as Su Yun and had a rather fair, clean-cut appearance. His sparkling, peach-blossom eyes especially gave him a clever, lively air.

Unfortunately, the thick ring of whiskers on his face ruined his handsome looks, making him seem like a creepy middle-aged uncle with a boy's face.

He was Oscar, another one of Shrek's monsters and a food-type Soul Master.

Oscar had actually spotted the fight from far away, but as a support-type Soul Master, he usually waited until the fighting was over before showing up to clean up the mess—and make money.

Now, he surveyed the wreckage, and his eyelid twitched when he saw Zhao Wuji's miserable state.

But he quickly plastered on his professional smile, trying to dispel the suffocating awkwardness with his peddler's patter.

"Hey, big shots! Nice work with the fighting!"

Oscar rubbed his hands together and grinned as he stepped out from behind the cart.

"It's so hot out. Why get into a scuffle and hurt the friendship? How about a sausage to perk you up? Mine are top quality, catalyzed with Soul Power—they restore your strength in a flash and even ease pain!"

His gaze swept across the scene, finally settling on Tang San, who sat sprawled on the ground looking weaker than anyone else.

Tang San was desperate to shake off the frustration of being utterly suppressed by Su Yun.

When he heard the words "restore your strength," his first thought was:

As long as I recover my Soul Power, I can fight again!

Besides, seeing the disappointment and awkwardness on his teacher Yu Xiaogang's face, Tang San desperately needed to do something to show off his professionalism and his determination to devote himself to cultivation.

"I'll take one!"

Tang San gritted his teeth and scrambled to his feet.

He brushed the dirt from his clothes as best he could, forcing himself to look as though he had merely been careless earlier. Then he nodded at Yu Xiaogang, as if to say:

Teacher, I can keep going.

"Coming right up! You've got a good eye, young man!"

Oscar chuckled. With so many big shots watching, he wanted to show off his skills—and sneak in an advertisement while he was at it.

He deliberately straightened up. Two yellow Soul Rings rose and circled at his feet, while he struck an exaggerated, almost coquettish pose with his hands in front of him.

"Everyone, take a good look! Freshly made Oscar's Big Sausage!"

He took a deep breath, then loudly chanted his Soul Spell in a lecherous tone that was almost operatic:

"I Have a Sausage!"

"..."

Silence.

A dead, deathly silence.

That Soul Spell exploded through the crowd like a bolt of thunder, leaving every female Soul Master there instantly dumbstruck.

Xiao Wu's adorable rabbit ears gave a sharp twitch. Her little face, which had just been cheering for Brother Su Yun, turned ashen with visceral disgust.

She instinctively shrank behind Su Yun, her eyes full of revulsion.

"W-what did he just say? Is he sick?"

Zhu Zhuqing's face, usually as cool as frost, now radiated a bone-chilling cold.

She was reserved by nature and avoided matters between men and women. Hearing such a filthy, suggestive Soul Spell sent a surge of anger rising from deep within her.

Her obsidian eyes swept coldly over Oscar. If she hadn't been worried about causing trouble for Su Yun, she would have rushed over and given the lecher a Nether Hundred Claws.

But Ning Rongrong was the first to explode.

As the young lady of the Seven Treasure Glazed Tile Sect, she had received the finest education in etiquette from childhood. Even though she could be willful, the people she knew were all refined, well-mannered nobles.

How could she have ever heard such vulgar, lewd words—the sort that practically screamed "I'm a pervert" right across someone's forehead?

"Disgusting! Filthy! Pervert!"

Ning Rongrong trembled with rage and shrieked, pointing at Oscar's nose.

"You people at Shrek Academy... are you all a bunch of irredeemable hooligans? You dare say that kind of spell in public?!"

Oscar was stunned, too.

He was used to hanging around with Zhao Wuji and Dai Mubai, a pack of old bachelors. They'd long since become immune to the Soul Spell, and even thought it had a certain flair.

But now, looking at the three stunning girls' murderous glares, he belatedly realized that he might have just sexually harassed every woman in sight.

"Uh... well, it's just a spell. Really, it's just a spell..."

Oscar explained awkwardly as he handed Tang San the long, steaming, sausage-shaped thing he'd just conjured.

And right then, in full view of everyone, Tang San did something that made the entire crowd feel sick to their stomachs.

To prove how single-mindedly he pursued the Dao and how little he cared for appearances, Tang San took the sausage without even flinching.

Under Ning Rongrong, Zhu Zhuqing, and Xiao Wu's horrified, disgusted stares, he opened his mouth and took a huge bite!

"Crunch..."

Tang San chewed hard, even letting the sausage linger in his mouth for several seconds, just to show off to Su Yun.

See? I'll endure any hardship and any humiliation to grow stronger!

Little did he know, to the women watching, the sight was nauseating down to the marrow and lecherous to the core!

Su Yun stood to one side, utterly speechless. He quietly reached out and covered Xiao Wu's eyes.

"Good girl, listen to your big brother. Don't look. You'll get styes, and it'll lower your IQ."

Su Yun sneered inwardly and quickly sank his divine sense into the system.

An extraordinary spectacle of everyone losing their minds and making each other sick like this came along once in a blue moon. If he didn't record it, he'd be letting his transmigrator status go to waste.

[Holy crap. I knew Shrek was a den of degenerates, but hearing Oscar chant that Soul Spell in person still makes my eyes and ears feel like they've been splashed with acid.]

[Seriously, what kind of normal person puts something that suggestive and lecherous into a Soul Spell? These are the so-called "monsters"? If you ask me, they're just a bunch of freaks who've been hiding deep in the mountains so long they've gone mentally deranged from a lack of social contact and civilized influence.]

[What really opened my eyes was Tang San.]

[Little San, oh, Little San. Just how desperate are you? You're chomping down on that thing in front of all those girls. Do you think it makes you look especially manly? Especially devoted?]

[Can't you see Xiao Wu's about to throw up? Can't you see Zhu Zhuqing looking at you like you're a pile of non-recyclable garbage? Can't you see Ning Rongrong is about to call on her sect to flatten this dump of an academy?]

[To cover up the embarrassment of your failed sneak attack, you chose to socially annihilate yourself. Respect. I truly respect you. Only you, the "pure and noble" Tang San, could have such an extraordinary thought process.]

[Compared to you, Zhao Wuji suddenly seems downright lovable. At least that old bear is merely evil. You're... evil and disgusting.]

The writing in the Diary flickered rapidly in response to Su Yun's feelings.

Ning Rongrong was still fuming when the copy in her arms warmed again.

She lowered her head and glanced at it. The Diary's resonance gave her the perfect outlet for her anger.

"That's right! Su Yun's right! You're a bunch of freaks! Perverts!"

Ning Rongrong glared at Tang San with such loathing that she seemed to despise him more than a fly that had just crawled out of a latrine.

Zhu Zhuqing had also finished reading the Diary.

She looked up at Su Yun and saw him standing in front of them with an elegant, slightly helpless air.

At that moment, Su Yun's image as a decent person—one who might be a little wicked, but still maintained a noble's bearing and basic respect—was elevated to an unreachable height by comparison with Oscar and Tang San.

"Staying in a place like this for even one more second is an insult to the soul."

Zhu Zhuqing said coldly. Then she walked over to Su Yun of her own accord and even lightly caught hold of his sleeve, showing just how thoroughly she had given up on Shrek.

Tang San was still wolfing down the sausage. His recovered Soul Power had made him feel a little better.

But when he looked up, he found that the three girls' expressions had shifted from earlier disgust to outright contempt and revulsion.

At that moment, the half-eaten sausage in Tang San's hand suddenly felt incredibly heavy.

He seemed to sense, vaguely, that he had lost something very important.

Su Yun waved his folding fan as he looked at Tang San, who was choking on the sausage with a flushed face, then at the innocent-looking Oscar standing behind his cart.

Finally, he turned his gaze to Zhao Wuji, who had at last recovered enough to catch his breath in the pit, and sighed mournfully.

"So this is Shrek? These are your so-called monsters?"

"I think you're truly beyond saving."