Shrek's Entire Team Dies Socially On-Site!

At the entrance of Shrek Academy, the murderous aura that had nearly torn the very space asunder reached a peak of awkwardness the moment Tang San's sneak attack failed and he collapsed in a pathetic heap.

Zhao Wuji was twitching in the crater, his life or death unknown, while Li Yusong stood frozen, clutching his dragon-patterned staff, caught between advancing and retreating. As for the protagonist of the debacle, Tang San.

He was currently staring, face deathly pale, at the three Bone-Piercing Nails embedded deep into the stone. Overcome by sheer terror, his breathing became rapid and erratic; his once-refined features, framed by a lock of severed hair, appeared both comical and wretched.

Just as the silence grew so stifling it could make one's toes curl, the sound of wooden wheels rolling—utterly out of place—accompanied by a slightly raspy voice hawking wares with a professional, fake smile, abruptly drifted over from the corner of the village path.

"Sausages for sale! Get your sausages! Don't miss out as you pass by! Freshly baked, top-tier Recovery Sausages! Cures all ailments, restores stamina! Only five copper soul coins each! Fair prices, no cheating the young or old!"

Everyone subconsciously turned to look toward the sound.

A youth pushing a simple wooden cart came jogging over, bouncing with every step.

This youth was about the same age as Su Yun and looked quite fair-skinned, his peach-blossom eyes sparkling with a sharp, clever glint.

Unfortunately, the thick, dense beard circling his face ruined that handsomeness, making him look like a creepy middle-aged man with a boy's face.

He was none other than Shrek's other monster, the food-type Spirit Master, Oscar.

Oscar had actually seen the fight break out from far away, but as an auxiliary Spirit Master, he was accustomed to waiting until the dust settled to emerge and clean up the aftermath (and make money).

Seeing the wreckage everywhere, especially the miserable state of Zhao Wuji, his eyelids couldn't help but twitch.

However, he quickly plastered on a professional smile, attempting to use this mercenary approach to dissolve the suffocating awkwardness of the scene.

"Yo, big shots, thanks for the hard work fighting!"

Oscar rubbed his hands together and walked out from behind the cart, grinning.

"It's so hot out, why let fighting hurt the harmony? How about a sausage to recharge? My sausages are top-notch; catalyzed by spirit power, they're excellent for stamina and can even stop the pain!"

His gaze swept across the crowd, finally settling on Tang San, who was sitting limply on the ground, looking the most exhausted of them all.

Tang San was currently desperate to shake off the sense of defeat brought on by being completely suppressed by Su Yun.

Upon hearing the words "restore stamina," his first thought was:

As long as I recover my spirit power, I can fight again!

Moreover, seeing the disappointed and awkward expression on his teacher Yu Xiaogang's face, Tang San felt an urgent need to do something to demonstrate his professional standards and his resolve to focus on cultivation.

"I want one!"

Tang San gritted his teeth and scrambled up using his hands and feet.

He did his best to brush the dirt off his body, forcing himself to look as if he had merely been careless a moment ago, and nodded at Yu Xiaogang, as if to say:

Teacher, I can still hold on.

"You got it! This young brother has a good eye!"

Oscar chuckled. In order to show off his strength in front of so many big shots (and incidentally advertise his product), he stood up straight. Two yellow spirit rings swirled up from beneath his feet, and he performed an extremely exaggerated and somewhat flirtatious gesture with his hands.

"Everyone, watch closely! Freshly baked Oscar's Big Sausage!"

He took a deep breath, then recited his spirit incantation in a voice that was almost operatic in its lewdness:

"I have a big sausage!"

"..."

Silence.

A deathly, suffocating silence.

This incantation was like a thunderclap, stunning every female Spirit Master present into a state of petrified shock.

Xiao Wu's dainty rabbit ears twitched violently. Her face, which had been cheering for Brother Su Yun just a moment ago, instantly turned ash-gray from physiological disgust.

She subconsciously shrank behind Su Yun, her eyes filled with revulsion:

"This... what did this person say? Is he sick?"

Zhu Zhuqing's cold, frost-like face became even more chilling.

She was naturally introverted and avoided matters between men and women, so hearing such an incantation with its extremely lewd implications made a surge of anger rise from the bottom of her heart.

Her obsidian-like eyes swept coldly over Oscar. If not for the fear of causing trouble for Su Yun, she would have wanted to rush up and hit this lecherous man with a Nether Hundred Claws.

The one who exploded the fastest, however, was Ning Rongrong.

This young lady from the Seven Treasure Glazed Tile Sect had received top-tier etiquette training since childhood. Even when she was being willful, she usually only interacted with refined nobles.

Where had she ever heard such vulgar, lewd vocabulary that practically screamed "I am a pervert" on his forehead?

"Disgusting! Filthy! Scum!"

Ning Rongrong trembled with rage, pointed at Oscar's nose, and shrieked:

"Is your Shrek Academy... just a bunch of hopeless hooligans? How dare you say such an incantation in public?!"

Oscar was also stunned.

He was used to hanging out with the old bachelors like Zhao Wuji and Dai Mubai; everyone had long since become immune to this incantation, and some even thought it had personality.

But now, looking at the murderous glares from the three stunning girls, he realized belatedly that he had seemingly committed sexual harassment against every woman present in one fell swoop.

"Uh... well, that's just a spell, it really is just a spell..."

Oscar explained awkwardly, handing the steaming, long, cylindrical object he had just conjured over to Tang San.

Yet Tang San, right there in front of everyone, performed an action that made the entire scene feel utterly nauseating.

To demonstrate his ruthless determination to pursue the path of power and his disregard for trivialities, Tang San took the sausage without changing his expression.

Under the horrified and disgusted gazes of Ning Rongrong, Zhu Zhuqing, and Xiao Wu, he opened his mouth wide and took a massive, forceful bite!

"Crunch..."

Tang San chewed vigorously, even deliberately letting it linger in his mouth for a few seconds to show off to Su Yun.

Look, to become stronger, I can endure any hardship and swallow any humiliation!

Little did he know, in the eyes of the women present, this scene was lecherous to the core and disgusting to the very heavens!

Su Yun stood to the side, now completely speechless. He silently reached out and covered Xiao Wu's eyes.

"Be good, listen to your brother, and don't look. Watching this will give you styes and lower your IQ."

Su Yun sneered inwardly as his consciousness quickly sank into the system.

Such a once-in-a-lifetime, all-encompassing display of stupidity and disgust deserved to be recorded; otherwise, he would be failing his identity as a transmigrator.

[Damn, although I already knew Shrek wasn't a proper place, hearing Oscar chant that soul spell with my own ears still felt like having sulfuric acid poured into my eyes and ears.]

[Seriously, what kind of sane person writes such lewdly suggestive things into a soul spell? Is this what they call 'monsters'? In my opinion, they're just a bunch of freaks hiding in the deep mountains, psychologically warped by long-term isolation and a lack of civilized influence.]

[What opened my eyes even more is Tang San.]

[Oh, Little San, just how desperate are you? Gulping down that thing in front of so many girls, do you think you look particularly tough? Particularly focused?]

[Don't you see that Xiao Wu is about to vomit? Don't you see that Zhu Zhuqing is looking at you like you're non-recyclable trash? Don't you see that Ning Rongrong is already on the verge of using her sect's power to flatten this crappy academy?]

[To ease the awkwardness of your failed sneak attack, you actually chose social suicide. I admire you, I really do. Only someone as 'pure and noble' as you could possess such a bizarre train of thought.]

[By comparison, I suddenly feel that Zhao Wuji is much more likable. At least that old bear is just a villain; you are truly... both villainous and disgusting.]

The handwriting on the Diary flickered rapidly in sync with Su Yun's mood.

Ning Rongrong had still been fuming, but the copy in her pocket grew warm again.

She lowered her head, and after just one glance, she found an outlet for her frustration through the resonance of the Diary.

"That's right! Su Yun is right! You are all just a bunch of freaks! Perverts!"

Ning Rongrong shot a fierce glare at Tang San, the disgust in her eyes more intense than if she were looking at a fly that had just crawled out of a cesspit.

Zhu Zhuqing had also finished reading the Diary.

She looked up at Su Yun and found him standing in front of them with an extremely elegant and slightly helpless posture.

At this moment, the image of Su Yun—a man who might be a little bit mischievous, but who absolutely maintained aristocratic style and basic respect—was elevated to an unreachable height against the backdrop of Oscar and Tang San.

"Staying in a place like this for even one more second is an insult to my soul."

Zhu Zhuqing spat out the words coldly, then walked over to Su Yun's side, even gently tugging on his sleeve to express her utter despair toward Shrek.

Tang San was still there, chewing the sausage, the recovery of his soul power making him feel slightly better.

But when he looked up, he discovered that the three girls' gazes had shifted from their previous disgust to outright contempt and revulsion.

At that moment, the half-eaten sausage in Tang San's hand suddenly felt exceptionally heavy.

He felt a vague sensation that he had lost something very important.

Su Yun shook his folding fan, watching Tang San, who was choking on the sausage with a flushed face, and then looked at Oscar, who was pushing his cart with an innocent expression.

Finally, he looked at Zhao Wuji, who had finally caught his breath in the deep crater, and sighed softly:

"Is this Shrek? Is this what you call monsters?"

"In my eyes, you are truly beyond saving."