Vacation was over.
The new school year at Notting Academy was about to begin.
Su Chen led Xiao Wu toward the Spirit Branch Hall, making the familiar trip to collect this month's Soul Master stipend.
They had nearly spent all their Gold Soul Coins and urgently needed to hit up Spirit Hall for a fresh haul.
The moment they stepped through the doors of Spirit Hall, they ran into Su Yuntao.
Blind Douluo was in terrible shape today.
His eyes were sunken and vacant, and he looked utterly hopeless, as though he'd worked himself into kidney failure.
"Brother Tao, what's with the face?" Su Chen walked over and struck up a familiar conversation.
Su Yuntao ignored him. Su Chen didn't mind and kept teasing him.
"Did Si Si finally realize that, apart from your looks, your pockets are even emptier than your face and run off with some rich guy?"
"Relax, relax. Love is a beam of light, turning you green till you're in a fright. If you want life to treat you right, you need a little green above your head."
Xiao Wu burst out laughing at Su Chen's words.
That was her boss for you. He always had a whole string of catchy sayings, and never repeated himself.
She quickly recited them in her head a few times, planning to write them in her little Boss Quotes notebook when they got back.
Su Yuntao was already in a foul mood. At that, he rolled his eyes and waved them off like flies.
"Shoo, shoo. What do you brats know? Go play somewhere else. Your big brother's got a lot on his mind and no time to joke around."
Su Chen didn't leave. Instead, he grew curious.
If even the mighty Blind God King was worried sick, there had to be some juicy gossip.
"Come on, tell me, Brother Tao. Two heads are better than one. Maybe I can come up with a clever plan for you."
Su Yuntao sighed, his head drooping. In a hushed voice, he asked, "Have you heard of Clear Sky Douluo Tang Hao?"
"I know a little."
Su Chen's expression turned strange. This had something to do with Old Rat.
He definitely had to hear this.
Xiao Wu immediately sidled closer too, looking eager for the gossip.
Gritting his teeth, Su Yuntao lowered his voice further. "An urgent notice came from Spirit Hall headquarters two days ago. It said Tang Hao's completely lost his mind lately and has been smashing up Spirit Branch Halls in cities all over the place!"
The more Su Yuntao spoke, the angrier he got, spittle flying.
"Smashing up our halls would be bad enough, but he attacks indiscriminately! Plenty of low-ranking officers like me, who show up and work diligently every day, have fallen victim to him!"
"And the worst part is, that old madman even kicks dogs that happen to cross his path. He doesn't spare ordinary people either!"
"Pah!" Su Yuntao spat hard on the ground. "He's a disgrace to the title of Titled Douluo!"
"I've been losing sleep over this for days, worried that the old lunatic might fly off the handle and come here to Nuoding City. I've only just saved enough money to marry Si Si. I don't want to die young!"
As he spoke, Su Yuntao covered his face, overcome with sorrow.
After hearing his tearful complaint, Su Chen's smile faded, and his brows slowly knotted into a deep frown.
It seemed losing his wife and his Soul Bone had driven Old Rat completely mad.
Su Chen sighed inwardly. He really hadn't thought things through.
If only he'd crippled Tang Hao that night instead of sparing Old Rat's miserable life and merely destroying his manhood.
That damnable fetish had saved Old Rat's life.
He, Su Chen, really was a piece of work.
Xiao Wu clenched her little fists, fuming as she cursed, "Tang Hao's a real piece of trash! If he's got the guts, he should go attack the Spirit Hall pope. What's the point of bullying ordinary people?"
Su Chen rubbed his chin and began thinking up a solution.
When it came down to it, he was the one who'd lit the fuse.
For once, he felt the faintest twinge of guilt.
But Douluo Continent was a world where the strong preyed on the weak. The weak were worth less than a dog on the roadside.
His guilt vanished in no time.
Suddenly, his eyes lit up, and a little yellow lightbulb reappeared.
"Brother Tao, this is easy to fix."
Su Yuntao looked up, unconvinced.
Even the higher-ups at Spirit Hall were tearing their hair out over this. What could a little kid like him possibly do?
Su Chen's eyes rolled, and a sinister smile spread across his face—the kind that would make a capitalist weep. "I've got an idea. It'll be just the thing to deal with Tang Hao."
"You really have a solution?"
Xiao Wu chimed in, patting her flat chest as she gave her guarantee. "Don't worry, Brother Tao. My boss may not have anything else, but he's full of nasty ideas. If he says he has a solution, he definitely does."
What kind of thing was that supposed to be?
Su Chen was speechless. That rabbit really didn't know how to say anything nice.
He cleared his throat. "Write a letter right away and send it by express courier to Spirit City."
"What should I write?" Su Yuntao asked at once, his interest piqued.
Su Chen grinned, baring his white teeth.
"Spirit Hall can't catch Tang Hao, but surely it can do something about the Clear Sky Sect?
"Recommend that Spirit Hall's higher-ups issue a joint notice in every city across the continent.
"Write just one sentence: if Tang Hao dares attack Spirit Hall again and slaughter innocent people, then for every person he kills, Spirit Hall will send someone to the Clear Sky Sect to take a life in repayment!
"If he slaughters civilians, make the Clear Sky Sect's disciples share the blame at a ratio of ten to one! Tang Hao thinks he's so powerful? He likes smashing things? Let him smash!
"As long as he kills one civilian, Spirit Hall will go to the Clear Sky Sect and hang the heads of its disciples on the city walls to kick around like balls!
"That's what I call the Nine-Clan Elimination Game!"
Su Yuntao was struck as if by lightning. He stood frozen in place.
His mouth fell open, his jaw nearly hitting the ground.
After a long while, he slapped his thigh hard, the smack ringing out crisply.
"Brilliant!"
"Simply a peerless masterstroke!"
Su Yuntao was so excited he could barely speak. He grabbed Su Chen by the shoulders and gave him a shake.
He looked at Su Chen as if he were some kind of monster.
"Xiao Chen, how does your brain even work? How could you come up with such a vicious... such a brilliant plan?"
Su Yuntao felt as if the heavens had opened up and poured light into his mind.
Su Chen chuckled to himself.
The Soul Masters of Douluo Continent had nothing in their heads but fighting and killing. When it came to tactics and political schemes, they were laughably inept.
Bibi Dong had pulled off one Civet Cat Replaces the Crown Prince, and people had been praising it for ages.
He'd only pulled out a few scraps of the political scheming he'd learned in his previous life. It was a complete dimensional beatdown.
If he brought out the Art of War or the Thirty-Six Stratagems, wouldn't these people kneel down and kowtow on the spot?
"All right, Brother Tao. Hurry up and write that letter so you can take credit. And don't forget to give Xiao Wu and me this month's stipend."
"I won't forget, I won't forget. I'll get the Gold Soul Coins for you right now."
Su Yuntao was glowing with excitement. He pulled two heavy handfuls of Gold Soul Coins from his pouch and, without even looking, stuffed them all into Su Chen's hands.
At last, he didn't have to worry about dying young.
With this brilliant plan, the higher-ups at Spirit Hall would be delighted.
Maybe he could even seize the opportunity to get promoted and a raise, become the head of the branch hall, marry Si Si, and reach the pinnacle of life!
Why shouldn't he, Su Yuntao, take that old geezer Ma Xiunuo's place?
Little did he know: were kings and nobles born to their station?