Are Summoned Beasts Not Standard Equipment for Magical Girls?

Fang Ran was trembling.

Ever since the words "Great Water Method, Old Summer Palace Twelve Zodiac Heads Bronze Statue" had popped up, Fang Ran had been like he'd been struck by lightning.

He placed the Si Snake head on the bed and stared at it intently. Whenever he couldn't hold on and fell asleep, he would quickly jolt awake again!

If Fang Ran knew that Ye Sheng even thought public opinion was useless, he would definitely spit all over her!

How was this useless? It was useful as hell, okay!?

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Holy crap.

Fang Ran swallowed, dark circles under his eyes, and muttered in shock for who knew how many times.

What? You said I was cowardly!? Not composed? Not calm?

Then damn it, tell me—after I was suddenly dragged into a mysterious incident, suddenly raced against death, suddenly watched the world collapse, and finally barely survived by sheer luck, only to suddenly learn that I had stolen a national treasure and become a wanted criminal, successfully making the headlines right after going on the run—

Tell me, how the hell was I supposed to stay calm!! (Furious table flip!)

Fang Ran stared at the blackened "faucet" on the bed with a complicated expression. It was his first time seeing a national treasure up close, and while it felt unbelievable, it also made him question his life.

Why had this thing suddenly ended up in his hands!?

After living for twenty years without even having a girlfriend, he suddenly had a national treasure, made the headlines, and became a wanted criminal.

Hey! Wasn't that surprising, exciting, and unexpected?

Fang Ran's expression shifted as he looked at the "national treasure-grade historical relic." Countless words eventually turned into a helpless sigh as he covered his face and condensed them into one word.

"Fuck."

No, absolutely no one could find out about this. He absolutely had to keep his mouth shut and bury this secret in his heart. He absolutely couldn't let anyone know!

Fang Ran silently made up his mind. No matter who it was, he would never tell them, because even using his ass to think, he knew that if this ever came to light, there would be no way to clear his name.

So no matter who it was, even if someone came to investigate him the next second, he absolutely could not reveal this!

"Is this Fang Ran's home?"

Then a sudden knock at the door made Fang Ran freeze for a second.

"Officer! Listen to my explanation! I'm innocent!! The station attacked first!!"

The young man at the door awkwardly glanced at Fang Ran's outfit, thinking, Uh, even if he's at home, what kind of freakish outfit is that? He was stunned speechless for a moment, but his long-standing professional ethics still made him speak first.

"Uh, sir, would you like insurance?"

Fang Ran: "..."

Insurance salesman: "..."

Bang!

After slamming the door shut, Fang Ran collapsed weakly to the floor. He pressed hard against his chest and gasped for breath. Seriously, his heart had really tightened just now.

At last, he understood another thing his moral education teacher had once said.

"Students, you must obey the law and follow the rules in the future. Otherwise, whenever you hear a siren, even if it isn't coming for you, won't you be scared to death?"

Sorry, Teacher. I had failed your teachings.

I was scared to death!

Fang Ran covered his face in grief, the corner of his mouth twitching as he looked at the Si Snake head on the bed. He grabbed it and stuffed it straight under the bed, then sat on the bed and felt slightly more at ease.

Just when things couldn't have been worse, the ultimate culprit behind Fang Ran's current situation openly popped out.

All encounters in the world were born from coincidence. Fang Ran would not understand this truth until much later.

Ding! You have completed a scenario. Would you like to activate a new ability?

Yes/No

The expression on his face froze in surprise, then he fell into slight silence. With no one around, Fang Ran sat on the bed, leaned back, and thought for a long time.

In the end, he could only let out a quiet sigh.

He pressed yes.

Having fallen into a world of unknown depths, every straw was salvation to him now.

Ding! You have activated your Summoned Beast.

A Summoned Beast!?

The moment he heard those three words, Fang Ran's expression became hard to accept. A Summoned Beast... was it the kind of Summoned Beast he knew?

The kind that was majestic and impressive, like the dreamlike virtual Phantom Beast Silver Wolf, a Summoned Beast a person could lean against and lie in its embrace?

But for some reason, after being screwed over once by his belt, Fang Ran suddenly had a premonition.

A premonition that this Summoned Beast was one hundred percent definitely not going to be as cool as he imagined. Something would absolutely come out in a moment and catch him completely off guard, challenging his worldview.

Light began to shine, but Fang Ran suddenly saw the ball of light gradually blur and distort. A slender, indistinct figure wearing a Gothic dress appeared within it.

Wait, no way—it was humanoid.

Fang Ran, who had truly been caught by surprise, suddenly grew flustered. The Summoned Beast was humanoid, and from the looks of it, even a cute girl.

It made him feel as though he had suddenly jumped into the cliché setup of some shut-in's wish-fulfillment webnovel.

Then the light vanished, replaced by a pale blue glow that swept across Fang Ran's entire room as if thoroughly scanning it.

It shot into a certain object, and the intense light made him instinctively close his eyes.

The next second, Fang Ran opened his eyes and looked at the true form of his "Summoned Beast."

Then he saw his Xiao Mi Power Bank floating in front of him.

When it saw him open his eyes, it even made a startled little movement.

Fang Ran: "..."

Power Bank: "..."

(A long silence.)

"Demon, take my sword!"

Fang Ran suddenly drew his belt and slashed it at the floating Power Bank!

"Are you insane? I'm your Summoned Beast!"

The Xiao Mi Power Bank narrowly dodged Fang Ran's furious strike!

"Get lost! What kind of Summoned Beast is a Power Bank!? Take my sword!!!"

Fang Ran relentlessly slashed at the Xiao Mi Power Bank again. For someone who had prepared himself to accept any terrible outcome, only to regain hope after seeing the silhouette and start anticipating a beautiful girl—

Seeing that his Summoned Beast was actually his own Power Bank was simply enough to make rage rush to his heart!

"You almost cut me! Stop it already!! Isn't this your Power Bank!?"

Faced with Fang Ran nearly cutting her, the "Power Bank" herself also failed to understand what was happening and cried out to him in panic!

"Shut up! I'd rather not have a demon Power Bank like you! Go eat shit!"

Fang Ran remained unmoved and continued slashing at it in towering rage!

"Are you mentally disabled!? I told you to stop, did you hear me!?"

Finally, the soul inside the Power Bank was so enraged that she spoke through gritted teeth, each word dangerous!

"You... hopeless... idiot...!!!"

"If you've got the guts, hit m—holy crap!! You actually hit me!?"

Fang Ran had just instinctively wanted to mock her with a "Come hit me, then?" when he saw the Power Bank fly straight at his face the next second, startling him!

"Holy crap... where did you get the power!? This doesn't conform to classical mechanics! Damn it, are you using the USB port to spray exhaust and accelerate!?"

He hurriedly threw down his belt and pressed both hands against it, but Fang Ran had not expected the other side to be so strong. He struggled even to speak as he shouted!

"Get lost! A Magical Girl like you has no right to lecture me about classical mechanics!!"

The Power Bank still spoke in a crisp girl's voice, but Fang Ran could be certain this thing was absolutely not simple. Never mind its lofty, condescending tone—

Its unwavering determination to smack him in the face said it all.

This was definitely no ordinary Power Bank.

Then, the next second, Fang Ran felt an immense force slip past his hands and smack straight into his face with a crisp slap!

"Ah! My nose bridge! My nose bridge!"

The pain made an idiot roll all over the floor.

At last, Fang Ran clutched his nose and recoiled in shock and terror. Looking at the Power Bank that could actually beat him, he questioned his life in utter disbelief.

"Are you really my... Summoned Beast?"

The Power Bank fell silent for a while. As if she had failed to anticipate a certain fact and caused irreparable, severe consequences, she spoke in utter despair.

"Yes."

At this moment, she continuously regretted, blamed, and questioned herself.

Why had I encountered a poor bastard who didn't even own a smartphone capable of connecting to the internet?