They Promised Immortal Cultivation, So Why Were They Playing Liaozhai Tricks on Me?

The bright moon spilled its light.

The courtyard lay dim and cold.

Inside Ascension Hall, the lamps blazed brightly, incense filled the room, and rising steam made the entire space as warm as a spring day.

Several pretty maidservants stood in a corner of the hall, whispering among themselves, faint worries on their faces.

"There were more new seedlings this time than last, and we thought we could keep a few more. Who knew so many would be silver spears with wax heads—shiny on the outside, useless beneath? After the screening, only seven passed."

"There were even fewer than last time. If the Immortal Maidens are displeased and punishment falls upon us, what will we do?"

"I'm not afraid of the other Immortal Maidens getting angry. I'm only afraid of Venerable Mother of Might and Virtue..."

"Shh! Watch your mouth!"

Perhaps Venerable Mother of Might and Virtue was simply too terrifying. At the mere mention of her name, the maidservants trembled and hastily fell silent. They could only look at one another, their eyes filled with worry and fear.

Suddenly, a crisp laugh rang out. A maidservant of fifteen or sixteen came over from the warm bathing pool, her clothes damp, her expression relaxed.

"Do not worry. Though there are fewer people this time, we have found two treasures. If the Buddha Mother learns of this, not only will she not punish us, she may even reward us!"

"Ah?"

Xiao Chan had changed back into splendid rainbow robes, though her lapels were inevitably still damp. She left Ascension Hall alone, taking tiny steps down the stairs as she looked around and called softly, "Mother Shi, have you arrived?"

Tap, tap!

Heavy footsteps came from behind her.

Xiao Chan turned around and saw someone emerge from the shadow of a corridor pillar: a robust woman with a square face, broad forehead, and dark complexion. A scar over an inch long ran across her left brow, lending her a vicious look.

Not only was this fierce-looking woman dressed in neat, practical clothes, her frame was extraordinarily massive, no less imposing than that of a strong man.

She stared expressionlessly at Xiao Chan, making the latter shrink her neck. Xiao Chan quickly presented a ledger with both hands. "Mother Shi, the list for this round has been finalized. Please send it to the Immortal Maidens for their review first. This servant will bring the new immortal seedlings over shortly."

Mother Shi took the ledger, opened it beneath the light spilling from Ascension Hall, and frowned deeply.

Xiao Chan hurriedly said, "Though the numbers this time are disappointing, there are two who stand head and shoulders above the rest. The Buddha Mother and the Immortal Maidens will surely be satisfied when they see them."

She extended a slender finger and tapped the ledger. The page was covered in names, each marked with aptitude, capacity, and other notes. Xiao Chan tapped two of them. "This young master Hong—you should have heard of his reputation, Mother Shi. His aptitude is top-grade, his bearing handsome and refined, his face like jade cast from gold. And this warrior Wang Ai, though his aptitude is merely average... he has a specialty. A very special kind, one never seen before..."

Xiao Chan racked her brains but could not think of a suitable description. In the end, she could only say, "Mother Shi, you should see for yourself!"

Mother Shi had only glanced roughly at the numbers earlier. Now, following Xiao Chan's finger, she looked over and immediately sucked in a cold breath. "Is this true?"

"True!" Xiao Chan answered with utter certainty.

"A true celestial being indeed!"

"A warrior beyond mortal men—a celestial being!"

Several pretty maids clustered around Wang Ai, exclaiming in admiration. Their heads were tilted upward, their faces full of reverence as they respectfully helped him change clothes.

Wang Ai puffed out his chest and swept his gaze around arrogantly. He even deliberately twisted his waist rapidly, as though there were swishing sounds in the air.

"Is that really so terrifying?" The other five newcomers stared dumbfoundedly, their faces blank, all seeming deeply shaken.

After bathing, more than ten people had been whittled down to seven. The maidservants led them to change into new clothes. Yet while several maids attended Wang Ai, even Hong Yuan had only two serving him.

"They promised a Flying Immortal Pool that would shed our mortal flesh and bones. What a load of bullshit!"

Hong Yuan felt that all it had done was wash away the smell of alcohol from his body. The more he looked at this place, the more it resembled certain establishments—brothels, for instance. Of course, Hong Yuan was a learned and courteous scholar, so he preferred the elegant name: Heaven on Earth.

Though this place seemed to cater specifically to women.

Perfectly reasonable!

Equality between men and women, after all. There was no reason women could not visit brothels.

"No, I have to get out of here."

Understanding was one thing; running away was another. Hong Yuan's plain scholar's robe had long since been discarded beside the warm bathing pool. Under the fussing hands of two maidservants, he had changed into a loose robe with an inner layer beneath it. The fabric was soft and warm against the skin, clearly fine silk.

Hong Yuan glanced at the two maidservants. They were slender in build. He clenched his fist, and the arm beneath his robe instantly tightened as strength surged through him.

There was no way to test just how much of a boost his transmigration benefits had given him, but if it was one punch per person, these maidservants should be easy enough to put to sleep.

Hong Yuan made up his mind to slip away as soon as he found the right opportunity.

A short while later, everyone had changed properly. Xiao Chan stepped before them and smiled. "Now that you are ready, please follow this servant to the Immortal Terrace and pay your respects to the Immortal Maidens."

"But before that, this servant must make one thing clear. Do not ask questions along the way. Do not speak when you stand before the Immortal Maidens, and do not act frivolously or recklessly and offend their immortal visages. Simply obey all of the Immortal Maidens' instructions."

"Immortal Maiden Xiao Chan, rest assured. Wang would not dare behave wildly," Wang Ai said with a smile.

Xiao Chan frowned slightly, but seeing that it was Wang Ai who had interrupted, she did not get angry. She merely waved a hand lightly and led the maidservants ahead with lanterns to guide the way.

The moment they left Ascension Hall, Hong Yuan's expression abruptly changed.

Eight sturdy servant women were already waiting in the courtyard outside. Though they were women, all wore fitted combat attire. They were tall, broad, and powerfully built, with thick, strong arms and legs. They were definitely not the sort of simpering creatures who would fall with one punch.

More importantly, the waist pouches of two of the sturdy women bulged, perhaps concealing short weapons, while the other six each carried a staff.

Without greeting Xiao Chan, the eight sturdy women swiftly split into two lines and hemmed Hong Yuan's group in the middle. Their gazes were stern, as though the slightest breach of conduct would bring those staffs crashing down on them.

Hong Yuan silently cried out in alarm. He had no idea exactly how strong he was or how many people he could take on, but bare-handed against clubs and blades, he would definitely be at a disadvantage.

Moreover, Hong Yuan narrowed his eyes toward the dark depths and listened carefully. He could hear faint footsteps as well. Clearly, the guard force of this so-called Jade Wutong Immortal Realm was not limited to these few sturdy women.

The others were also startled and did not dare meet the sharp gazes of the sturdy women.

"We can only adapt as things come."

Hong Yuan sighed.

The so-called Immortal Terrace was actually the main building of this grand estate. Their route happened to pass through the lakeside courtyard where Hong Yuan had awakened. Going more than a hundred paces deeper inside, they soon reached their destination.

Compared with the other towers and pavilions, the Immortal Terrace stood three feet higher at its foundation, gaining an added air of majesty. Bright red light shone from within, illuminating the space before the hall.

The other maids had all dispersed without anyone noticing. Only Xiao Chan entered the hall carrying a lantern, while the eight sturdy women guarded both sides and led Hong Yuan's group of seven inside.

The main hall was extremely spacious, its ceiling nearly two zhang above the ground. At the very front stood a platform as high as a person, with three sides hung with bronze mirrors carved in strange patterns.

Seven people sat upon that enormous platform. Six of them were hidden behind hanging curtains, appearing and disappearing through the veils, their true features impossible to make out. Only the person in the middle sat openly, with an imposing, sprawling posture.

Yang Lie, the Hook-nosed Youth, and the others in the hall all kept their heads lowered and stood motionlessly.

As for the people entering the hall, even Hong Yuan opened his mouth in utter shock when he looked toward the platform. Though the light reflected from the bronze mirrors dazzled his eyes, he was completely stunned.

What sort of person was this?

That was a fucking pig!

No—even in this era, it would be incredibly difficult for a pig to grow this fat.

Though seven people sat on the platform, the space occupied by the one seated in the center was likely equivalent to that of three people.

She was an old woman of roughly fifty or sixty. Her huge face was layered with rolls of flesh, her eyes buried within heaps of fat, narrowed to slits that shot out vicious light.

The chair beneath her was enormous as well, adorned with all sorts of pearls and jade. Rather than sitting in it, she looked more like she had collapsed into it, her entire body resembling a mountain of flesh.

Yet she wore luxurious cloud brocade, with jade and golden pearls all over her body. Even wrists as thick as tree stumps bore more than one pair of gold bangles!

Hong Yuan did not know how everyone else felt, but he was already on the verge of vomiting.

The flesh-mountain of an old woman did nothing but sit there, yet her throat constantly wheezed with harsh, bellows-like breaths.

She coughed urgently once, and two Colorful-Clad Attendants immediately sprang forward.

In truth, the two had been standing on the platform behind the old woman all along, but the mountain of flesh had blocked them from view. Even Hong Yuan had not noticed them at first.

But now he looked once, then looked again. He no longer merely wanted to vomit—he wanted to gouge out his own eyes.

He had assumed the two Colorful-Clad Attendants were servant women of some sort. Only now did he realize they were actually two men wearing makeup and women's clothes. Even dressed in such a grotesquely mismatched fashion, their original features could still be seen to be quite handsome.

One soothed the fat woman's breath and rubbed her chest—though whether he could even find her chest was another question—while the other crouched halfway down, head raised, obedient beyond measure.

Fuck, grass, herbs, tangled weeds...

This young man!

The fat woman finally coughed up the thing stuck in her throat and grabbed the Colorful-Clad Attendant who had leaned close with one huge hand.

The Colorful-Clad Attendant's body trembled, his legs already going weak.

Hong Yuan was not an uncultured man, but at this moment, he truly wanted to curse. Unable to bear the sight, he abruptly turned his eyes toward Yang Lie, who stood trembling lightly, head lowered and eyes shut.

He understood! He understood everything!

"Brother Yang, you are the true hero!"

No wonder Yang Lie was so tall and strong, yet looked as though his eyes were dark and he had not slept well. It would be stranger if he could sleep well.

Hong Yuan suddenly thought of Liaozhai and the many strange tales and miscellaneous records. Many told of scholars, youths, wandering heroes, and traveling merchants who, through one accident or another, stumbled into immortal realms, encountered immortal maidens, and enjoyed a night of spring breeze.

Viewed through a modern lens, some interpreted them differently. What immortal realms? What immortal maidens? They were merely lonely noblewomen confined in deep estates, putting on mysterious airs and pretending to be spirits and gods to lure men in.

How similar was this scene?

Hong Yuan had guessed there might be immortal cultivators, and he had wondered whether the Jade Wutong Immortal Realm was haunted by mountain sprites and wild monsters. But now, it seemed to be nothing more than an illusion of an immortal realm built with power and immense wealth.

Then again, by the understanding of this era, perhaps it was not an illusion at all. To ordinary people, what difference was there between these powerful nobles and immortals living in an immortal realm?

Even in the ancient world of Hong Yuan's previous life, temple deities were seated City Gods, county magistrates were standing City Gods, presented scholars and top scholars were the Literary Star descending to earth, and emperors were Sons of Heaven...

All were sacred. None were mortals!

"Blech!"

At last, someone beside him could not hold back and dry-heaved!

As a Colorful-Clad Attendant served the fat woman and wiped the corner of her mouth, her vicious little eyes slanted toward the sound. A sturdy woman immediately pounced forward, gripping the vomiting person by the back of the neck with a thick hand and dragging him away like an eagle snatching a chick.

The man coughed loudly and struggled with all his strength. The sturdy woman clenched her free hand into a fist and smashed it down viciously, driving a punch straight into his temple.

His body twitched once before going limp as mud.

The sturdy woman snorted coldly, tucked him beneath her arm, and carried him out of the hall.

Hong Yuan's pupils contracted.

The others fell silent as cicadas in winter.

Another sturdy woman viciously planted her staff into the floor. With a loud Bang!, she shouted, "Venerable Mother of Might and Virtue stands before you, and you still dare act so presumptuously? All of you, lower your heads! None may look directly upon the Buddha Mother's sacred visage!"

Venerable Mother of Might and Virtue waved her fat hand. Her narrowed eyes looked down upon the entire hall from above as she nodded. "This time, the immortal realm has recruited fresh immortal seedlings. I shall take only two as personal disciples..."

She spread her hand, a fat finger pointing at Hong Yuan and Wang Ai. With a hoarse laugh, she said, "These two shall enter my sect and cultivate immortal arts. Divide the rest of the immortal seedlings among yourselves."