At Last, He Awoke

"Self-doubt, loneliness, hatred, resentment toward the world, sorrow... Let me bear all of that! I've gotten used to it by now!" The child looked at Zhang Xiaofan, who was crying his eyes out, and smiled at him warmly, trying to comfort him.

This was Zhang Xiaofan at ten years old!

This was him in the year Grass Temple Village was massacred!

This was the self he had never been able to face!

"Ah!..." Zhang Xiaofan threw his head back and roared at the azure sky, venting his emotions in a frenzy.

"Let's go back together!" Zhang Xiaofan looked down at the child in his arms and spoke softly. But he couldn't manage even the faintest smile. After trying several times and failing, he buried his face against his younger self's chest and wept in muffled sobs. His body shook violently, and no matter how hard he tried to hold himself back, he couldn't calm down.

"You don't have to be sad! Sadness doesn't suit you now! Leave it to me! I'm used to it!" The young Zhang Xiaofan slowly raised his hand, rested it on Zhang Xiaofan's head, and gently stroked it.

Zhang Xiaofan kept shaking his head.

All these years, he had faced his master and Shiniang with respect, his senior brothers with obedience, and Luo Yunji as a good elder brother. He had faced everyone else with cold indifference... He could face others just fine, but he alone couldn't face his former self. He hadn't even had the courage to try.

Whenever the night grew still and deep, he either practiced cultivation like a madman or forced himself to sleep. He feared that if he ever sat idle and let his mind go quiet, he would remember the painful events of that night in Grass Temple Village.

Those