Ōnoki Grinned from Ear to Ear: If Leaf Village Doesn't Want Them, I Do!

"Hahahahaha—!"

In the canyon, Ōnoki's laughter wheezed like a broken bellows.

It shook loose pebbles from the rock walls on both sides, sending them pattering down.

The terrifying white glow of Dust Release was snuffed out with a casual wave of his hand, as though pinching out a cigarette butt.

His feet hit the ground, and he could not even be bothered to maintain the Light-Weight Rock Technique.

He broke into a jog and hurried straight toward Uchiha Yoru.

Ōnoki's eyes shone like two searchlights.

He looked Yoru up and down, then craned his neck to peer sharply behind him.

That was the Uchiha Clan!

Those pairs of crimson Sharingan were normally death warrants on the battlefield.

Yet now, they looked more lovable and welcoming than gold ingots.

Looking farther back, Minato Namikaze leaned weakly against a tree trunk.

The Yellow Flash, who had torn through Stone Village's defenses and forced its higher-ups to issue an order to flee on sight.

Now he wore wrinkled patient clothes, with his wife carrying a baby beside him.

The Nine-Tails! That was the Nine-Tails' jinchūriki!

Ōnoki frantically worked the abacus in his head, nearly sparking from the calculations.

The Shinobi World's foremost ocular technique clan.

The deadliest top-tier space-time killer.

And the Shinobi World's strongest Tailed Beast!

Any one of those three, taken alone, would be enough to make the other ninja villages jealous enough to start a Shinobi World war.

And now, all three treasures had been wrapped up and delivered to his doorstep for free!

Had that old bastard Hiruzen Sarutobi been kicked in the head by a donkey, or caught it in a door?

He was driving away combat power on the level of nuclear weapons?

Hiruzen, you old monkey, you really are a generous fool! Ōnoki rejoiced inwardly.

He grabbed Yoru's arm, his enthusiasm even more exaggerated than if he had met his own grandson.

"Brother Yoru! No, little brother Yoru!" Ōnoki even changed how he addressed him.

"Those blind fools in Leaf Village have no eyes at all. They're simply wasting priceless talent!"

"The fact that you're willing to come to Stone Village is an honor for this old man!"

Yoru smoothly pulled his arm free and watched the old man with an amused half-smile.

"Lord Tsuchikage, let's skip the pleasantries. We're a whole family here, with dependents in tow."

Yoru pointed his thumb at the group behind him.

"My clansmen have endured enough mistreatment in Leaf Village, and they're all upset. If we go with you, surely you won't have us sleeping in the streets?"

"Sleeping in the streets? Whoever dares make you sleep in the streets, this old man will scatter him with Dust Release!"

Ōnoki slapped his shriveled chest with loud thumps, overflowing with boldness.

"As long as you sincerely pledge yourselves to Stone Village, this old man guarantees it with the reputation of the entire village!"

"If Leaf Village doesn't want you, I want all of you! Whatever Leaf Village won't give you, I'll give you double!"

"Once you arrive in Iwagakure, you'll be our most honored guests!"

"Territory, pick whatever you like! Resources, use whatever you want!"

The more Ōnoki spoke, the more excited he became, saliva flying everywhere.

"This old man will treat you like my own fathers. I absolutely won't let you suffer the slightest grievance!"

Behind them, Fugaku Uchiha's mouth twitched violently at those words.

Treat them like his own fathers?

This Tsuchikage, the oldest and most hard-tempered figure in the Shinobi World, had skin thicker than Fugaku could ever have imagined.

Minato wore a helpless, wry smile as well.

He turned to Kushina and said quietly, "It seems our lives ahead won't be too impoverished."

Kushina pursed her lips. "That old man looks shrewd. Let's hope he isn't just making empty promises."

Yoru was very satisfied with Ōnoki's stance.

That was exactly what he wanted to hear.

A Kage's promise was worth more than any written contract.

"Fine. With those words from the Tsuchikage, this deal is settled."

Yoru snapped his fingers and shouted toward the Uchiha group behind him.

"You all heard him, right? Lord Tsuchikage is providing our food, lodging, and territory!"

"Put away your Sharingan. Don't scare our hosts."

At Yoru's command, more than a thousand crimson eyes vanished in unison.

Only then did Ōnoki turn to face the Stone Village border troops on both sides of the canyon, who were still completely dumbfounded.

He took a deep breath and roared with full force.

"Why are you all standing around? Waiting for this old man to invite you to tea?"

The scar-faced Stone Village commander jolted and hurriedly stood at attention.

"L-Lord Tsuchikage, then these people..."

"Put away all your weapons! Right now! Immediately!" Ōnoki roared.

"From this moment on, the Uchiha Clan and the Fourth Hokage are our Iwagakure brothers from different fathers and mothers!"

"Pass down the order: the border troops will become an honor guard on the spot!"

"Beat the drums and sound the gongs for this old man! Give them the grandest welcome possible!"

The Stone Village ninja in the canyon looked at one another.

One second ago, they had been fighting for their lives. The next, they were sworn brothers?

The turn of events was too abrupt for their minds to process.

But the Tsuchikage's orders were absolute.

The scar-faced commander swallowed and immediately put away his kunai, then shouted at the top of his lungs.

"All personnel! Put away your weapons! Form ranks and welcome them!"

"Go get those battered leather drums from the warehouse! Start beating them, now!"

Within minutes, the formerly grim canyon pass underwent a bizarre transformation.

Two rows of Stone Village ninja in brown vests forced stiff smiles onto their faces.

Some used empty Explosive Tag boxes as drums.

Others struck rocks with kunai as makeshift instruments.

"Boom boom clang! Boom boom clang!"

A chaotic welcome tune echoed absurdly across the border of the Land of Earth.

The Uchiha clansmen watched this surreal scene, their expressions growing stranger by the second.

They had thought they were about to fight a bloody battle. Why did it suddenly feel as though they had come sightseeing?

Fugaku kept a straight face and forcibly maintained the dignity of a clan head, but the muscles at the corners of his eyes twitched wildly.

"Let's go, Clan Head Fugaku, Brother Minato."

With both hands in his pockets, Yoru started forward at an unhurried pace.

Ōnoki personally walked beside him to lead the way, smiling like an overly hospitable tour guide.

"Brother Yoru, this way, please! The road is a little uneven, so watch your step."

Amid the ridiculous percussion, the vast group formally crossed the border.

They proceeded without obstruction toward the gates of Iwagakure.

Walking in the middle of the group, Minato watched Yoru chatting and laughing with the Tsuchikage ahead, then spoke softly.

"Yoru, Ōnoki accepting us will definitely draw fierce opposition from the village's higher-ups."

"This is practically inviting wolves into their home. Those old diehards won't easily agree to give us so many resources."

Yoru did not even turn around. A meaningful curve merely lifted at the corner of his mouth.

"Opposition?"

Yoru lowered his voice, speaking softly enough that only Minato and Fugaku could hear.

"If they oppose us, that gives me a perfectly legitimate excuse to establish my authority."

"If I don't beat a few early birds until they hurt, why would they obediently hand over the keys to the treasury?"