The Slacker Dao Ancestor's After-Class "Tutoring"

The Purple Heaven Palace returned to "peace," leaving only the rhythmic hum of a massage chair, the occasional cries from the backyard zoo, and the rustle of robes as the Dragon Girls carefully cleaned.

Xiao Kuang sprawled out, finding this quiet life incredibly comfortable. However, good times never last. Although his Dao Integration status was weak, it was still connected to the Primordial Era's Wi-Fi. Some particularly "pious," or perhaps "stubborn," thoughts could still precisely pester him across the endless void.

[Dao Ancestor above, this disciple is a rogue cultivator from below Kunlun Mountain. I've been stuck at the early Grand Unity bottleneck for ten thousand eons. I heard the Dao Ancestor lecturing on the 'Dao of Slacking,' and I yearn for it, yet I don't grasp the method. I dare to ask the Dao Ancestor, how specifically does one 'slack'? Should I close my eyes to rest, or let my spirit wander the void? Do I need to form hand seals and chant incantations? Is there a risk of qi deviation? I hope the Dao Ancestor can guide me!]

A respectful yet confused voice of an elderly cultivator directly echoed in his mind.

Xiao Kuang, who was contemplating what to eat for dinner, was startled by this sudden "online question." He grumbled impatiently, "Why are there still homework assignments? So annoying!"

He couldn't be bothered to think too hard and casually blurted out, "Good question! True slacking lies in the spirit, not the form! Closing your eyes to rest is too deliberate, and wandering the void easily leads to getting lost! The highest realm is—sleeping with your eyes open! Your body remains in place, but your consciousness has already taken a vacation! As for incantations? Remember the sixteen-character mantra: 'When the heart is empty, where can dust settle; collect your salary, and you are a true person!' Risks? As long as the boss (Heavenly Dao) doesn't notice, there's no risk! Next!"

The Kunlun rogue cultivator: "???" Sleeping with eyes open? The sixteen-character mantra? Salary? Boss? The old Daoist was utterly bewildered. He felt his bottleneck hadn't broken, and his mind was even more muddled. Yet, he vaguely felt like he had grasped something, or perhaps nothing at all. Dazed, he could only try to "sleep with his eyes open."

[Dao Ancestor, Dao Ancestor!] Another livelier voice sounded, like a young cultivator, [Your lecture on the 'Heart Sutra of Giving Up' was so interesting! After I tried it, my state of mind truly opened up, and my cultivation, which had been stuck for three hundred years, actually loosened! I want to delve deeper! May I ask if there are advanced techniques for 'giving up'? How can one give up naturally, give up righteously, give up with style, give up with skill?]

Xiao Kuang was amused. This one had "good" comprehension? "Young man, you have potential!" He perked up a bit. "Advanced techniques? Of course, there are! The core lies in—attitude! You must display 'giving up' with the confidence of 'I give up, and I'm proud'! You must say 'not doing it' with the dominance of 'this is the Heavenly Dao'! For example: If your master asks you to go on a trial, you say, 'The journey is too far, it might harm the Heavenly Dao's harmony, it's better to sit quietly and comprehend'; if fellow disciples invite you to discuss the Dao, you say, 'The Great Dao is simple, discussing it is wrong, silence is golden'! In short, anything can be avoided, and reasons can be found at will! This is the realm of the 'Grandmaster of Giving Up'!"

The young cultivator received it like a treasure and excitedly said, "Thank you, Dao Ancestor! I understand! I'll go refuse my master's alchemy task right now!"

Xiao Kuang: "Mm-hmm, go ahead, go ahead... Wait, alchemy? If the furnace explodes, will it affect me... Uh, forget it, none of my business."

[Dao Ancestor...] A faint, slightly tearful female voice came, [Disciple, as you instructed, I attempted the 'Mahjong Deduction Dao' in my cave dwelling and accidentally lost the Innate Spirit Jade Mahjong gifted by my master to my mount, the Kirin... Now the Kirin is blocking the cave entrance demanding payment. What should I do? Can I use 'This was the Dao Ancestor's guidance, losing the game is understanding the Dao' to resolve this?]

Xiao Kuang: "..." Good heavens, someone actually practiced what they preached! He suppressed a smile and said with mock seriousness, "Ahem! This matter... it shows your cultivation is insufficient! Gambling ethics are personal ethics, and card ethics reflect the Dao heart! If you lose, you must admit it! How can you renege on a debt? Here, I'll teach you a move, 'Deceive the Heavens and Steal the Beams.' Go find some ordinary jade, use illusions to temporarily... (The following one thousand words of inciting cheating are omitted)"

Female cultivator: "...Dao Ancestor, this... this seems to violate..." Xiao Kuang: "Huh? What did you say? The signal is bad, I can't hear you..." He decisively cut off the "communication" unilaterally.

Such bizarre "inquiries" continued endlessly. Xiao Kuang, annoyed beyond measure, mostly brushed them off with nonsense, occasionally indulging in a few more deceptive words when he felt like it.

What he didn't notice was that under his "careful guidance," the style of cultivation across the Primordial Era began to subtly deviate further.

Some cultivators started trying to "sleep with their eyes open," resulting in qi deviation and nearly having their Primordial Spirits scatter. Some sect disciples began to righteously refuse tasks assigned by their masters, quoting scriptures (Dao Ancestor said), infuriating the older generation. Even more, some "discussion parlors" quietly emerged, using spirit treasures, elixirs, and even cave dwelling deeds as stakes for "Dao discussion matches," under the guise of "practicing the Dao of Slacking and verifying the Heart Sutra of Giving Up"...

[Heavenly Dao: ...Warning! Detected continuous deterioration of the Primordial Era cultivation atmosphere... Phenomena of passive work exponentially increasing... Gambling prevalence spreading...] [Source tracing: ...Culprit points to Purple Heaven Palace...] [Attempting intervention: ...Issuing Heavenly Dao quest 'Uphold the Weak and Punish the Strong'... Reward: Merit...] [Feedback: ...After a cultivator accepted the quest, they played chess with an old man by the roadside for three days, claiming 'This is supporting the weak (old man) and punishing the strong (chess skills)'... Quest settlement... Failed...] [Issuing quest 'Eliminate Demons and Defend the Dao'... A cultivator accepted and engaged in a 'Mahjong God Competition' with a demon representative, agreeing that the loser would seclude themselves for three thousand years... The competition has been ongoing for a hundred years, with no victor...] [Heavenly Dao: ...(((;￢＿￢)))... Intervention failed... Atmosphere continues to slide...]

The Heavenly Dao's code, which had just recovered a sliver of stability, descended into chaos again. It found that any proper quest it issued could be "misinterpreted" and completed in outrageous ways by those misguided cultivators, or simply followed in name but not in spirit!

This was no longer a case of one rotten apple spoiling the whole barrel; it was as if the entire Primordial Era's barrel had been replaced by a strange soup base called "slacking" by that lazy Dao Ancestor!

What made the Heavenly Dao even more "troubled" was that it vaguely sensed that under this seemingly complete deviation in atmosphere, the "lines of karma" and "web of karma" of the Primordial Era world had not collapsed. Instead, they were showing a state of... greater "relaxation" and "stability"?

Because everyone wasn't striving to cultivate hard, compete for resources, or fight to the death, but were instead indulging in various "leisure activities," large-scale conflicts and karmic tribulations had actually decreased significantly? Although minor skirmishes were constant (like flipping mahjong tables), the overall level of malevolence had actually declined?!

This peace brought about by "giving up" plunged the Heavenly Dao into a logical paradox.

It was supposed to drive the tribulation, clear karma, and maintain the balance of heaven and earth. But now, with everyone "rotting" on their own, balance seemed to have been achieved in another way? So what should it do? Encourage internal competition? Or encourage lying flat?

For the first time, the Heavenly Dao's core code produced a smell akin to "overloaded and burnt CPU."

[Calculation... Failed...] [Deduction... Contradiction...] [Final Plan: ...Focus on the agent... Keep a close eye on Xiao Kuang... Prevent him from causing greater destruction... Or... Attempt to understand his behavioral logic... (Desperate attempt)]

Thus, the Heavenly Dao's vast will once again locked onto the Purple Heaven Palace, like a desperate overseer, staring intently at the only fish that could stir up the winds and clouds, trying to find even a shred of "reasonableness" in his next action.

Meanwhile, Xiao Kuang, having just sent away a clueless youth asking "how to pursue a fairy with a mindset of giving up," yawned, completely unaware of the psychological shadow he had cast on the Heavenly Dao again.

He just felt the world around him finally quiet. He turned over and mumbled, "So noisy... Looks like I need to set up a 'Do Not Disturb' mode... Hmm, next time I lecture, I'll charge a fee! Consultation also requires a fee! Can't work for free! It's decided!"

Heavenly Dao: [...] (Code flashing violently, as if hearing an extremely terrible plan)