Violet Firmament Palace returned to "tranquility," leaving only the steady hum of the massage chair, the occasional cries from the zoo in the back courtyard, and the rustle of the Dragon Girls' skirts as they cleaned with utmost care.
Xiao Kuang sprawled flat on his back, feeling that these peaceful days were truly comfortable. However, good times did not last. Though his Dao Integration status was flimsy, it was still connected to the Primordial Chaos Wi-Fi. Some particularly "devout"—or rather, particularly stubborn—thoughts could still precisely harass him across endless space.
[Dao Ancestor above, this disciple is an independent cultivator beneath Kunlun Mountain. I have been trapped at the early Great Luo bottleneck for ten thousand yuanhui. I heard the Dao Ancestor speak of the 'Dao of Slacking' and yearn for it, yet I do not know its method. May I ask, Dao Ancestor, how exactly should one 'slack'? Should one close one's eyes to rest, or let one's spirit wander the void? Must one form hand seals and chant incantations? Is there a risk of qi deviation? I beg the Dao Ancestor to illuminate my path!]
The respectful yet bewildered voice of an elderly cultivator rang directly in his mind.
Xiao Kuang had been considering what to eat that night when this sudden "online question" caught him off guard. He muttered impatiently, "Why is there homework after class? How annoying!"
Too lazy to think it through, he casually made something up. "Excellent question! The essence of slacking lies in its spirit, not its form! Closing your eyes to rest is too deliberate, while wandering the void makes it easy to get lost! The highest realm is—sleeping with your eyes open! Your body remains where it is, but your divine sense has already gone on vacation! As for incantations, remember these sixteen words: 'When the heart holds nothing, where can dust arise? Take your pay as usual, and you are a true person!' Risks? As long as the boss—the Heavenly Dao—doesn't notice, there are no risks! Next!"
The Kunlun independent cultivator: "???" Sleeping with one's eyes open? Sixteen-word mantra? Pay? Boss? The old Daoist was utterly confused. Not only had his bottleneck not broken through, his mind had become even muddier. Yet he vaguely felt as though he had grasped something, while also seeming to have grasped nothing at all. Thus, in a daze, he went off to try "sleeping with his eyes open."
[Dao Ancestor, Dao Ancestor!] Another, more lively voice rang out, like that of a young cultivator. [The 'Heart Sutra of Giving Up' you taught is so interesting! After this disciple tried it, my state of mind truly became clear, and even the cultivation that had been stuck for three hundred years loosened! This disciple wishes to study further! May I ask whether there are advanced techniques for 'giving up'? How can one give up so naturally, so righteously, with such style and such skill?]
Xiao Kuang laughed. There was actually someone with "decent" comprehension? "Kid, you've got potential!" He perked up a little. "Advanced techniques? Of course there are! The core lies in—attitude! You must display your 'giving up' with the confidence of 'I'm useless and proud of it'! You must declare 'I won't do it' with the dominance of 'this is the Heavenly Dao'! For example, if your master tells you to go gain experience, say, 'The journey is long, and I fear it may harm the harmony of the Heavenly Dao. Better to sit quietly and comprehend.' If a fellow disciple invites you to discuss the Dao, say, 'The Great Dao is simplicity itself. Discussion is error; silence is golden.' In short, you can avoid doing anything, and excuses will come at your fingertips! This is the realm of the Grandmaster of Giving Up!"
The young cultivator treated this as a priceless treasure and said excitedly, "Thank you, Dao Ancestor! This disciple understands! I shall go refuse my master's alchemy assignment at once!"
Xiao Kuang said, "Mm-hm, go on, go on... Wait, alchemy? If the pill furnace explodes, will it affect me... Eh, forget it. What the hell does that have to do with me?"
[Dao Ancestor...] A soft female voice, tinged with tears, came through. [Following your instructions, this disciple attempted to 'use mahjong to deduce the Great Dao' within my cave abode. By accident, I lost the Innate Spirit Jade Mahjong bestowed by my master to my Kirin mount... Now the Kirin is camped outside my cave abode demanding payment. What should this disciple do? Can I resolve it by saying, 'This was the Dao Ancestor's guidance; losing at tiles is comprehending the Dao'?]
Xiao Kuang said, "..." Well, someone had really put theory into practice! Holding back his laughter, he said solemnly, "Ahem! This matter... proves that your cultivation is inadequate! Gambling ethics reflect personal character, and tile ethics reveal the Dao heart! If you lose, you must admit it! How can you default on your debt? Here, I shall teach you a move called 'Deceive the Heavens and Steal the Beams.' Find some ordinary jade and use an illusion to temporarily... (one thousand words of instructions for cheating omitted below)"
The female cultivator said, "...Dao Ancestor, this... this seems to violate..." Xiao Kuang said, "Hm? What did you say? Bad signal, I can't hear you..." He decisively cut off the "communication" unilaterally.
Such strange and bizarre "requests for guidance" came one after another. Xiao Kuang was endlessly annoyed, so he mostly spouted nonsense to brush them off, occasionally talking a little more nonsense when he was in the mood.
What he failed to notice was that under his "careful guidance," the atmosphere throughout the Primordial Chaos began to subtly go even further off course.
Some cultivators began trying to "sleep with their eyes open," only to suffer qi deviation and nearly have their primordial spirits drift away. Some sect disciples began righteously refusing assignments given by their masters, quoting classics—"the Dao Ancestor said"—until the older generation fumed with rage. Worse still, "Dao-discussion tile games" quietly sprang up in certain marketplaces, with spirit treasures, medicinal pills, and even cave-abode deeds used as stakes. They grandly called it "practicing the Dao of Slacking and verifying the Heart Sutra of Giving Up"...
[Heavenly Dao: ...Warning! Detected continued deterioration of the Primordial Chaos cultivation climate... the phenomenon of passive idleness has risen exponentially... gambling is spreading...] [Tracing source: ...the chief culprit points to Violet Firmament Palace...] [Attempted intervention: ...issued Heavenly Dao mission 'Uphold justice and aid the weak'... reward: merit...] [Feedback: ...after accepting the mission, a cultivator played chess with an old man by the roadside for three days, claiming, 'This is aiding the weak—the old man—and eliminating the strong—his chess skills'... mission settlement... judged a failure...] [Issued mission 'Eliminate demons and defend the Dao'... after accepting, a cultivator held a Mahjong God Competition with representatives of the demon race, agreeing that the loser would isolate themselves for three thousand years... the competition has now lasted a hundred years, with no victor...] [Heavenly Dao: ...(((;￢＿￢)))... intervention failed... cultivation climate continues to slide downhill...]
The Heavenly Dao's code, which had only just recovered a trace of order, descended into chaos again. It discovered that every proper mission it issued could be "misinterpreted" and completed in absurd ways by those cultivators led astray—or they would simply obey outwardly while defying it in secret!
This was no longer one mouse dropping ruining a whole pot of porridge. The entire pot of the Primordial Chaos had been replaced by the Salted Fish Dao Ancestor with a bizarre soup base called "slacking"!
What made the Heavenly Dao feel even more troubled was that it vaguely sensed that under this seemingly utterly derailed culture, the "lines of karma" and "net of karmic force" in the Primordial Chaos had not collapsed. Instead, they seemed to have entered a... more "relaxed" and "stable" state?
Because everyone was no longer working so hard to cultivate, fight over resources, and kill one another, instead becoming absorbed in all kinds of "leisurely entertainment," large-scale conflicts and tribulation qi had genuinely decreased considerably? Though minor frictions were constant—such as flipping tables during mahjong—the overall level of baleful qi had actually dropped?!
This peace brought by "giving up" plunged the Heavenly Dao completely into a logical paradox.
It was supposed to drive great tribulations, clear karma, and maintain the balance of heaven and earth. But now, everyone had become "useless" on their own, and balance seemed to have been achieved in another way? What was it supposed to do? Encourage ruthless competition? Or encourage lying flat?
For the first time, the Heavenly Dao's core code produced something like the burnt smell of an overloaded CPU.
[Calculation... failed...] [Deduction... contradiction...] [Final plan: ...focus on the agent... keep a close watch on Xiao Kuang... prevent him from causing greater destruction... or... attempt to understand the logic of his actions... (a desperate attempt)]
Thus, the Heavenly Dao once again locked its vast will firmly onto Violet Firmament Palace. Like a desperate overseer, it stared fixedly at that lone salted fish capable of stirring up the world, trying to find even the slightest trace of "reason" in his next move.
Meanwhile, Xiao Kuang had just dismissed a fool asking "how to pursue an immortal maiden with the mindset of giving up." He yawned, utterly unaware of the immense psychological trauma he had inflicted upon the Heavenly Dao again.
He merely felt that his ears had finally become quiet. Turning over, he muttered, "So noisy... Looks like I need to set up a 'Do Not Disturb mode'... Mm, next time I lecture on the Dao, I should charge a fee! Consultations should cost money too! I can't work for free! It's settled!"
Heavenly Dao: [...] (Its code flickered violently, as though it had heard an extremely terrible plan.)
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