Drawing Disaster to the West, Mount Sumeru

After returning "fully loaded" from Buzhou Mountain, Xiao Kuang collapsed in the Purple Heaven Palace for several days. He tinkered with the various ores and chewed on the herbs the Witch Race had "borrowed," but after growing tired of it, the familiar feeling of aimless emptiness struck him again.

"The Eastern Heavenly Court is gone, I've toured the central Witch Race, what's next... I should go check out the West!" He stroked his chin, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I heard the West is extremely barren, and those two poor devils Jieyin and Zhunti cry poverty every day. Maybe there's some unique local specialty? And... maybe the women in the West have a different kind of charm?"

He decided to go, and he went. He once again conjured his signature crooked and wobbly escape light, heading towards the Primordial Era's West, that famously barren land—Mount Sumeru.

The further west he went, the thinner the spiritual energy became, and the more desolate the land grew. Compared to the spiritual richness of the East and the grandeur of the center, the Western Regions appeared dim and lifeless. Even the Chaos Qi seemed to lose its vigor upon reaching this place.

Finally, amidst a barren mountain range, a peak with a bit of spiritual aura (but only just) appeared before him. This was the dojo of Jieyin and Zhunti—Mount Sumeru.

At the foot of the mountain, there were only a few wilting Bodhi Trees and Bitter Bamboo stalks. A few sallow-faced young attendants were struggling to water them with (barely spiritual) mountain spring water. The entire dojo exuded an aura of "poverty" and "misery."

Xiao Kuang's escape light landed. Its bizarre appearance and his lazy demeanor, so out of place in the West, immediately put the attendants on guard.

"Amitabha... uh, Daoist friend, please wait! This is a place of purity and tranquility in the West. May I ask..." one attendant timidly stepped forward to block him.

Xiao Kuang waved his hand, interrupting him, "Go inform Jieyin and Zhunti that their most longed-for Dao Ancestor brother has arrived! Bringing them warmth!"

The attendant was so shocked by the address that he was nearly fried inside and out. He hurriedly ran in to report.

Before long, Jieyin and Zhunti rushed out to greet him. They still wore their usual sorrowful expressions, but their eyes held a mixture of shock, uncertainty, and a hint of... barely concealed anticipation? (After all, even if this Dao Ancestor was eccentric, a little something slipping through his fingers would be enough for them to eat well.)

"This humble Daoist Jieyin (Zhunti), respectfully welcomes the Dao Ancestor's presence!" The two bowed respectfully, their postures extremely humble.

"Oh, there's no need for such formalities, my two Daoist friends!" Xiao Kuang chuckled as he helped them up, his gaze sweeping around. The more he looked, the tighter his brow furrowed. "I say... this place of yours... is it too shabby? This isn't a place for cultivation, it's a refugee camp!"

Jieyin and Zhunti's old faces flushed, and their bitterness deepened. "You mock us, Dao Ancestor... The West is barren, its spiritual veins damaged. My fellow disciple and I are truly... a clever cook cannot cook without ingredients!" As Zhunti spoke, his eyes began to redden again, preparing to deploy his "crying poverty" tactic.

"Stop, stop, stop!" Xiao Kuang quickly interrupted him. "If crying worked, what would Heavenly Dao be for? Forget it, I'm in a good mood today, so I'll be benevolent and help you plan things out!"

He immediately got into character, pointing at the bare Mount Sumeru and gesticulating wildly:

"First, we need to work on the greenery! Plant more trees! Plant... hmm, plant those that glow! No need for lamps at night, saves electricity... saves spiritual energy!" "The mountain gate also needs to be renovated! Make it grand! Inlay it with gold edges or something! No money? It's fine, just paint it with a layer of gold paint, it looks intimidating!" "And your attendants, they're all sallow and thin, it affects the image! Their meals need to be improved! Even if there are no spiritual items, you can research how to make ordinary food look like spiritual food! Presentation is important!" "The most crucial thing is the projects! We need to develop special projects! For example... 'Western Ascetic Cultivation Experience Day Tour'? Let the Eastern tycoons come and experience the hardships of life, and you can charge a high price!" "Or develop a 'Bodhi Seed Consecration Service'? Claim it's blessed by your great magic power, that it can ward off evil and attract wealth, no one will be able to tell the difference anyway!"

Jieyin and Zhunti listened, dumbfounded. Their minds couldn't keep up with Xiao Kuang's pace at all. Greenery? Gold paint? Presentation? Tourism? Consecration? What kind of demonic rhetoric was this?!

"Dao... Dao Ancestor..." Jieyin spoke with difficulty, "Such... such measures, are they not a bit too... ostentatious? They go against the fundamental principles of our Western pursuit of purity, inaction, and diligent cultivation..."

"Pedantic!" Xiao Kuang glared. "Can purity and inaction put food on the table? Can diligent cultivation get you Spiritual Treasures? You need to be adaptable! This is called 'marketing strategy'! First, build up your reputation, then trick... attract resources, and then talk about cultivation!"

He lowered his voice, speaking mysteriously, "When you have money and resources, can't you be as pure as you want? Then build eight hundred golden temples and chant scriptures inside every day, wouldn't that be satisfying?"

Jieyin and Zhunti: "..." They felt their Dao hearts had been polluted like never before.

But... for some reason, listening to the "eight hundred golden temples," their hearts seemed to... itch a little?

Zhunti couldn't help but ask, "Then, Dao Ancestor... how exactly should we proceed?"

Seeing that they had taken the bait, Xiao Kuang became even more enthusiastic. "Simple! First, packaging! Package your 'miserable' persona into a noble persona of 'willingly enduring poverty and upholding the Dao heart'! Then, tell stories! Tell how you pioneered the wilderness, how you sacrificed for others, how... in short, make it as miserable as possible, and as noble as you can fabricate! Make those Eastern cultivators stunned, and they'll obediently hand over merit!"

"Finally, and most importantly!" Xiao Kuang revealed his true intentions, his eyes fixed on them. "Although the West is poor, you must have some unique local products hidden away, right? Like that Bitter Bamboo, even if it tastes bad, maybe someone in the East likes that kind of thing? And those Bodhi seeds, even if they're not very useful, they feel good to handle! Take them out, let this Ancestor 'authenticate' them for you and find sales channels!"

After going in circles, he was still eyeing their possessions!

Jieyin and Zhunti immediately became vigilant. No matter how poor the West was, those few innate spiritual roots were their lifelines!

Jieyin quickly said, "Dao Ancestor, the West is truly barren, there's nothing particularly noteworthy to present..."

Before he could finish, Xiao Kuang had already started wandering around on his own, touching things here and looking there.

"Eh? This Bitter Bamboo grows quite distinctively! Chopping a few to make a back scratcher would be nice!" "Yo! The shape of this Bodhi tree branch is quite bizarre! I'll take it back as a natural coat rack!" "Hoo! The color of these stones on the ground is quite eerie! I'll take them back to pave the fish tank!"

He started his "zero-dollar shopping" spree again, picking out things that looked strange and peculiar, regardless of whether they were useful or not.

Jieyin and Zhunti watched with bleeding hearts. That Bitter Bamboo, those Bodhi branches, the stones by the Eight Treasures Merit Pool... these were all their hard-earned possessions! Even if they weren't valuable, they were still their possessions!

"Dao Ancestor! You mustn't!" Zhunti cried, stepping forward to stop him. "These are all the little sentiments of the West..."

"Oh, stingy!" Xiao Kuang grumbled. "I'm helping you develop things, is it wrong to take some sample fees? When the project is profitable, I'll return ten times the amount to you!"

As he spoke, he casually plucked a lotus seedpod from a seemingly half-dead lotus flower (suspected to be the prototype of an important figure in the future Western Teachings?).

Finally, under the tearful gazes of Jieyin and Zhunti, Xiao Kuang's sleeves were once again stuffed with various "junk" from the West.

Satisfied, he then turned his gaze to the few female cultivators from the West standing by (although the West was barren, a small number of female cultivators had come here by reputation to jointly build the West).

Most of these female cultivators had pale complexions, but their eyes were devout and firm.

Xiao Kuang sighed and shook his head, "You Daoist friends have suffered here! Look at your complexions! Come to the Purple Firmament Palace! Room and board are provided, the work is easy, and you can earn Heavenly Dao Merit! Listening to these two gloomy faces chant scriptures every day, how much does it affect your mood!"

He was poaching again! And he was poaching the most scarce talent in the West—people!

Jieyin and Zhunti trembled with anger, almost performing a "spontaneous nirvana" on the spot!

Finally, under the grief-stricken gazes of Jieyin and Zhunti, Xiao Kuang left with a sleeve full of Western "local specialties" and "samples," along with a few promises to "consider changing jobs."

Far from Mount Sumeru, one could still faintly hear Zhunti's indignant wail: "Senior Brother! Our Bitter Bamboo! Our Bodhi branches! Our destined ones!!!"

Xiao Kuang dug his ear, curled his lip, "So stingy, just a few broken branches. But... this Western lotus seedpod does have a rather bitter taste, it clears the fire."

Heavenly Dao (Routine Sensing): ... (Record: Assets of the Western Teachings (future) have severely depreciated, and talent faces the risk of outflow... Culprit: Xiao Kuang...)...