True Immortal Cannot Work

True Immortal Cannot Work

Clang!

Clang!

On a quiet afternoon, beneath the silky, thin, moist veil of Du Xian Sect's Mountain Protecting Grand Formation.

On Lesser Qiong Peak, which stood far shorter than the surrounding peaks, a rhythmically satisfying sound of strikes echoed...

In the Dense forest roughly ten miles north of the three thatched cottages by the small lake, a towering tree trembled continuously with each blow.

Beneath the tree, a young girl dressed in Training clothes embroidered with orchids and fragrant grass, a pale-purple silk Flowing Cloud Scarf tied around her head, continuously swung a Giant Axe. There was an indescribable elegance to her movements.

Gritting her teeth, the girl sent out a string of affectionate greetings:

"You won't let me use magic power—what if my legs and arms grow those lumpy muscles! I'm a female Qi Refiner! Honestly, you said you'd watch me chop trees. Where are you? You ran back to meditate again! Hmph, you stinking Senior Brother! I'll cut you off at the roots—cut down the tree, remove the roots; cut the roots, leave nothing behind; not a blade of grass shall grow! Break for me!"

Crack—

The old tree slowly toppled backward with all the coy reluctance of a bashful maiden, startling flocks of birds from the forest.

Suddenly, someone called out from behind her:

"Are you... Little Ling'e?"

Lan Ling'e immediately became alert. Carrying the Giant Axe, she leaped forward at once. By the time she landed, she had turned around and raised her head to stare at the figure floating in the air, finding her somewhat familiar.

A Large Gourd over ten feet long; a female immortal sitting cross-legged atop it; somewhat grimy hemp clothes... Damn it, even that short hemp tunic was nearly bursting open...

Ah, it was Martial Uncle Jiu Jiu...

Lan Ling'e hurriedly set down her Giant Axe, stepped forward, and clasped her hands in a Daoist salute. Recalling the several greeting templates her Senior Brother had established, she selected the most fitting one and said softly, "Disciple Ling'e pays respects to Martial Uncle Jiu. This disciple's cultivation is shallow, and I failed to welcome you in time. I hope Martial Uncle will not take offense."

"It's fine, it's fine. No need to be so polite." Jiu Jiu took quite a liking to this graceful little martial niece below, who observed every courtesy and spoke so pleasantly.

Jiu Jiu put away the Large Gourd and jumped down from the air.

"Is your Senior Brother here? I need to see him about something."

"Senior Brother should be cultivating," Lan Ling'e replied meekly and softly. "Please wait ahead for a moment, Martial Uncle. I shall go call Master out of seclusion to receive you. Our humble dwelling may fall short in its hospitality; I hope Martial Uncle will forgive us."

"Ah, no need for all that trouble. I came specifically to find your Senior Brother. Your Master is about to become an immortal, so let him remain in seclusion. Don't disturb him."

Jiu Jiu waved a hand and looked around. "Little Ling'e, what are you chopping wood for?"

"It is a form of cultivation. Please forgive this disciple for making Martial Uncle laugh."

Lan Ling'e's reply remained flawless, but a trace of doubt rose in her heart.

What did this Martial Uncle want with her Senior Brother?

Qi Refiners who became immortals possessed long Lifespans, and there were many Daoist couples in the sect who came from different generations. The Martial Uncle before her had a lovely face and exquisite curves. Though she was somewhat unkempt, she was naturally beautiful—and more importantly, exceptionally well-endowed...

The key was that Martial Uncle Jiu Jiu had gone out together with her Senior Brother...

Something was wrong.

Lan Ling'e instantly became vigilant. With a slight turn of thought, she was about to probe indirectly for Jiu Jiu's purpose.

Before she could speak, however, faint ripples appeared across the ground in the distance. Li Changshou slowly emerged from the earth and clasped his hands toward Jiu Jiu in greeting...

A short while later, Jiu Jiu and Li Changshou sat cross-legged on either side of a low table in Li Changshou's thatched cottage.

She had come to deliver Li Changshou's reward from this Training Assembly, and had also brought Jiang Jingshan's entrusted gift of thanks. Two Storage magic treasures lay on the low table.

Li Changshou accepted them without ceremony.

When he saw the several magic treasures, a small mountain of precious materials, and spirit stones inside the storage ring given by Martial Uncle Jiang, he felt slightly relieved.

While examining Lesser Qiong Peak's earth veins earlier, Li Changshou had been worrying over the precious materials needed to construct the various great formations. This gift of thanks had directly solved more than half the problem.

Li Changshou asked, "Why didn't Martial Uncle go to the Southern Continent with them?"

"Ah..." Jiu Jiu let out a long sigh and flopped weakly onto the table, the light gradually fading from her eyes. "I originally wanted to go have some fun with them, but when we returned to the mountain, I was held back for questioning until now. I just came out of the Hall of Rewards and Punishments. Now I'm worrying. Those Elders actually sentenced me to abstain from alcohol for three years. Ah, they might as well tie me to a Pillar of lightning and strike me for three years..."

Li Changshou could not help smiling. Only then did he notice that Jiu Jiu's little gourd magic treasure was gone; it had most likely been confiscated by the Sect Elders.

Just then, Ling'e entered the room carrying tea. Seeing this scene, she pressed her lips together.

Her posture was so casual, and she got along with her Senior Brother so naturally...

This Martial Uncle really did have a problem.

After serving the tea, Lan Ling'e moved her Meditation Cushion to her Senior Brother's side. Then she knelt down obediently, deliberately pressing her arm close against her own Senior Brother.

Jiu Jiu widened her eyes at the sight. "Eh? Changshou, your illness?"

"My Junior Sister is unaffected by contact with me. It is probably because she and I spend every day together," Li Changshou explained calmly. "But when I touch women other than my Junior Sister, I still cannot avoid symptoms such as convulsions."

Cough! Cough cough!

Lan Ling'e covered her mouth and coughed. Judging from her slightly pained expression, it was absolutely because holding back her laughter was too difficult.

"Oh, so that's how it is."

Jiu Jiu did not suspect a thing. She lay there with another ghostly sigh, the light once again fading from her eyes as she murmured feebly, "Three years... How am I supposed to endure these three years... How can I meditate without alcohol? How can I cultivate? I can't even sleep. I have no strength for anything... That bastard Yuan Qing, why did he have to stir up trouble? It would have been one thing if he had dragged himself down, but he made this Martial Uncle suffer for three years too."

Li Changshou lowered his gaze in thought, stroking his chin as he pondered.

When Lan Ling'e beside him saw this expression on her Senior Brother's face, she subconsciously shifted to the side, straightened her posture, stared straight ahead, and did not dare say a word.

She secretly glanced at the curve descending from the corner of Li Changshou's brow, confirming that this was a sign her Senior Brother was about to scheme against someone!

Whenever her Senior Brother showed that expression, either she or Master would always be arranged for something!

"Martial Uncle Jiu, how about we make a deal?"

"Hm? What deal?" Jiu Jiu responded listlessly.

"Since Martial Uncle cannot touch alcohol for these three years, and cannot cultivate, why not help this disciple construct some formations?" Li Changshou said seriously. "In return, this disciple will brew three extinct fine wines for you, Martial Uncle, for you to enjoy exactly three years from now. One of them can even serve as a substitute for alcohol."

"Extinct fine wines? A drink that can replace alcohol?"

Jiu Jiu instantly perked up and sat straight. "What is it? You wouldn't be trying to trick me into working for free, would you? Let me make this clear first—I don't know the first thing about formations."

"Martial Uncle only needs to use immortal power to stabilize the formation foundations and suppress fluctuations in spiritual power," Li Changshou said with a calm smile. Then he asked, "Does Martial Uncle enjoy drinking alcohol, or savoring it? Do you like the taste of alcohol, or that floating, tipsy feeling when drunk?"

"Mm..." Jiu Jiu pondered for a moment. "Both, I suppose. I entered the mountain when I was three. The Fifth Senior Brother responsible for taking care of me happened to enjoy brewing wine. Once, he accidentally tossed me into a wine jar for a bath, and ever since then I haven't been able to leave the stuff in the cup alone. If I had to say, the taste of alcohol is important, and that lightly floating, pleasantly tipsy feeling is important too."

"Please look, Martial Uncle."

Li Changshou pointed to the teacup before him, took out a small Jade Pot from his sleeve, removed its stopper, and dripped a single drop of pale-green liquid into the cup.

In an instant, a faint fragrance drifted through the air, and the tea immediately turned pale green.

Li Changshou smiled. "Please have a taste, Martial Uncle, and see whether it gives you that tipsy feeling."

"Oh?" Jiu Jiu blinked lightly. Holding the teacup, she cautiously sniffed it before her nose. She smelled only a faint, clean fragrance. Then she lowered her head and took a small sip, and her eyes instantly lit up.

Raising her hand, she drained the entire cup in one gulp.

A faint blush gradually spread across Jiu Jiu's pretty face. Her eyes became somewhat unfocused, and she grinned without stopping.

"Good stuff... strong enough..."

Clack. The teacup fell onto the table. Jiu Jiu slowly lay down, rolling around on the ground as she let out bursts of soft, snickering laughter, murmuring incessantly, "Seventh Senior Brother, you have no shame at all. You cling to Sixth Senior Sister every day, yet after dual cultivating for so many years, you still can't make a little baby..."

"Everyone has someone in pairs, but just because I'm the ninth, I deserve to be alone? Hmph, once I cultivate to the Celestial Immortal realm, I'll snatch several handsome men back and make them pour wine and scrub my back every day..."

"Little Changshou... You absolutely, absolutely, absolutely must not look down on your Master... Your Master was amazing back then..."

Gradually, soft snores began to rise. Hugging a Meditation Cushion, Jiu Jiu lay on the ground and fell completely asleep.

Lan Ling'e asked curiously, "Senior Brother, what is this?"

"Divine Immortal's Brew," Li Changshou replied via voice transmission. "It is both a Sleeping Drug and, in a sense, a fine wine. Yet it has no alcoholic scent of its own, and aside from making people drunk for a while, it has no other effects. It was originally something I discarded. According to Ancient books, in ancient times, many immortals fond of what was in the cup would try this Divine Immortal Brew, though their craving for alcohol was so great that they would simply pour it directly into their mouths. It is refined through methods similar to brewing wine, except wine is mostly made from immortal fruits and immortal grains, while Divine Immortal's Brew uses thirty-two medicinal herbs."

Lan Ling'e asked with some concern, "Is this enough to count as three kinds?"

Li Changshou smiled and nodded. Looking at the deeply sleeping Jiu Jiu and thinking of the pill chamber that would soon be completed, he replied through voice transmission, "Not just three kinds—thirteen kinds would be no problem. With a True Immortal to help, many ideas that could not previously be realized now have a chance. Once the pill chamber is completed, the Safety factor will be even more secure."

"Fine, then." Lan Ling'e puffed out her cheeks. Looking at her Martial Uncle, who appeared unexpectedly pitiful and lovable while asleep, she could not help feeling a small... sense of crisis.

And so, two years later.

Bang!

The Wooden door of Li Changshou's thatched cottage was kicked open. Jiu Jiu, dressed in hemp clothes and wearing an anxious expression, charged inside like a whirlwind.

"Quick! This month's Divine Immortal's Brew and Charm of the Beauty... He's not here? Ah, why is he refining pills again! I ought to tie you to the pill furnace!"

Jiu Jiu stomped her foot and muttered a few curses under her breath, then hurriedly turned and leaped into the air, about to rush toward the lush forest behind the cottage.

But her figure suddenly halted. Tilting her head, she stared at the dense, deep forest ahead, sensing the spiritual energy flowing slowly within it. Her forehead instantly filled with black lines.

In her heart rose more than ten humiliating experiences from the past half-year, when she had been trapped inside...

If she had not already known what lay ahead, she would never have been able to tell that this place contained twenty-eight visible formations and seventy-six hidden formations, all interlocking trapping formations and illusion formations...

"Where was the Life Gate again? Did I really help set this up? This way? That doesn't seem right. Or this way? Ah! Formations are simply annoying to death! Li Changshou, get out here right now! Otherwise, I'll tear down your mountain!"

A breeze passed through the forest, and trees everywhere swayed gently. The spiritual energy flowing within also became much livelier.

Li Changshou's voice drifted in on the wind. "The formations have already been deactivated. This disciple is watching the pill furnace and cannot come out to receive Martial Uncle."

Jiu Jiu blinked. She cautiously ventured more than thirty feet forward, and only after discovering that she was still safe did she fly furiously straight toward the center of the Dense forest.

There, a small, elegantly designed building stood quietly. Wisps of Pure Qi drifted out from it, and a fresh medicinal fragrance filled every part of the forest.