"If that's the case, there's nothing left for this old woman to do here. I'm a little tired, so I'll go rest."
Just as Dick stood there holding the chamber pot, eager to give it a try, the Old Madam—Benjamin's grandmother, who had been sitting silently to one side—suddenly spoke.
Benjamin was a little surprised, and everyone else's attention shifted to her at once.
"If you're tired, Old Madam, you should get some rest. These are all minor matters. No one would blame you if you didn't want to be here."
Before Claude could say anything, Axel Full immediately interjected.
"I'm already this old. When something happens, I ought to be present. Otherwise, someone might think I'm dead. Don't you agree?" the Old Madam replied, still speaking in that casual tone of hers, as if she were being sarcastic—or perhaps simply yawning.
Axel hurriedly shook his head. "Old Madam, you must be joking..."
Benjamin stood to one side, quietly listening to their conversation. The moment the Old Madam spoke, the conflict between him and Dick was immediately pushed aside. It seemed his eccentric grandmother held a rather high position.
Still, Benjamin had a vague feeling that the Old Madam hadn't suddenly spoken up because she really wanted to rest. Otherwise, why would she have needed to toss out all those barbed remarks?
Stirring up trouble?
Go on, then. Make it as big as possible, and buy him a little more time to figure out how he could get through this.
"I'll have Anna help you to your room."
Claude also stood and said this to the Old Madam. Then he turned and began signaling to the servants outside with his eyes.
"No need. Do you think I'm so old and useless that I can't walk by myself?" The Old Madam waved him off, leaning on the cane in her hand as she stood up.
"But..." Claude hesitated.
"But what? Mary hasn't said a word, so why are you in such a hurry? Mary, don't you agree?" The Old Madam impatiently cut him off, then turned to Benjamin's mother, who was standing beside Claude.
Mary—Benjamin's mother and Claude's wife—was clearly surprised. She probably hadn't expected the Old Madam to suddenly turn the conversation toward her. Her eyes widened, and she covered her half-open mouth with one hand.
After a brief hesitation, Mary replied, "Then it's up to you, Mother. I don't have any objections."
At that, the Old Madam gave a small, indeterminate snort.
Benjamin grumbled inwardly. So this was a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law showdown, though it looked like it wasn't going to get anywhere. It didn't seem like it would help him, or even buy him much time. As soon as the Old Madam left, the Fool family would be aiming that chamber pot at him again.
He didn't have time to watch the show. This kind of drama played on the major TV networks every day. It wasn't that interesting.
He'd better hurry up and figure out what to do!
If Dick really tried to smash him with the chamber pot, could he grit his teeth and refuse? Surely Claude wouldn't actually kick him out of the Riser family?
But... what if he really did get kicked out?
At the thought, Benjamin felt a chill in his heart.
If he really got kicked out, he'd have no choice but to turn to the Church. They still needed him to capture Michelle, so they wouldn't mistreat him. But trying to learn magic under the Church's watchful eye would be like finishing the tutorial and jumping straight into hell difficulty. This game was downright inhuman.
As for wandering the streets... that would be even worse. Though the Church probably wouldn't let him roam around homeless; they'd likely take him into custody instead. In a way, staying with the Riser family was the best way for him to keep his freedom of movement.
His head hurt...
While Benjamin was planning his escape, the Old Madam, who was about to leave, suddenly made a very strange move. She seemed to be running out of strength. Her cane slipped, then swung sharply to the side.
That wouldn't have mattered, except the cane flew straight toward Dick, who was standing there holding the chamber pot.
Before anyone could react, the cane struck Dick hard in the back of the heel. His leg buckled, and he fell backward, crashing heavily to the floor.
The chamber pot flew from his hands as he fell, soaring high into the air and tracing an elegant arc. Then it landed squarely on the face of Dick, who was sprawled on the floor.
A loud bang!
Dark liquid splashed in every direction, blooming across his face like a giant flower in the style of an abstract painting.
Everyone sucked in a breath and took several steps back, distancing themselves from the stunned Dick as if he had the plague.
Dick lay on the floor, his face frozen in shock. He reached up and wiped a hand across his face, then slowly moved his trembling hand in front of his eyes. Seeing the brown substance smeared across it, his whole face began to twitch, and deep despair filled his eyes.
"Ah—!"
With a heart-wrenching scream, Dick passed out again in the pool of shit.
The whole thing had happened so quickly that everyone had barely had time to do anything besides retreat and avoid getting splashed by the filth.
The true culprit, Benjamin's grandmother, had already reacted swiftly and slipped to the doorway of the living room before the chamber pot even hit the ground. She clutched her chest in alarm, looking utterly innocent, as if she'd been frightened.
The living room fell silent.
Benjamin came to his senses. Looking at the Old Madam, who stood by the doorway with wide eyes and an innocent expression, he was even more shocked.
These days, it wasn't just young people who wanted to make a big splash. Even elderly grandmothers wanted to stir up headlines!
Seeing everyone around him stunned almost to the point of paralysis, Benjamin had learned his lesson this time. The first bird to stick its head out got shot. Until someone broke the silence, he would stay hidden and completely unnoticed. He absolutely wasn't going to speak again.
At any rate, this was the second time he'd faced a situation like this. In other words, he had work experience now.
However, it seemed everyone present had even more work experience than he did.
Everyone was lost in disbelieving shock, staring at Dick in the pool of shit. Not a sound escaped anyone, and not one expression changed. They were all utterly captivated by their "shock," letting the stench spread without anyone even seeming inclined to cover their nose.
It was as if someone had frozen time. The only sound was the somewhat anguished cawing of the crows outside, startled into flight.
The whole scene seemed to have turned into a contest of endurance, with Dick's scream as the call: "We're all wooden people. No talking, no moving."
Benjamin felt a little dazed.
What were these people doing?
"You're all nobles. You have more experience than he does," the system silently grumbled in his mind. "Of course, it's also possible that people in this world just have slow reflexes. No matter what happens, it takes them ages to react."
"..."
Benjamin was speechless.
In the midst of this bizarre, "shocked" silence, no one knew how much time passed before a strange sound finally brought it all to an end. Benjamin froze for a moment, then realized it was his stomach growling.
In this setting, that "grrr" sounded especially clear and carried remarkably far.
...He was hungry.
Everyone's eyes gathered on Benjamin again.
Benjamin regretted it terribly. Only then did he remember that he hadn't eaten anything since arriving in this world. At least, he hadn't eaten while he was conscious. He had no idea whether anyone had fed him during the three days and nights he'd been unconscious.
And the breakfast he should have eaten had been ruined by his grandmother. So, in reality, he was extremely hungry. He'd just had so much on his mind that he'd forgotten all about it.
Now his hunger had built up to a certain point, and with a bang, the time bomb had gone off.
Once again, he was the center of everyone's attention.
Just as he was thinking, This is bad, the Old Madam suddenly seemed to come to her senses and spoke:
"Ah, this... I'm truly very sorry. I suppose my cane has grown slippery from being used for so long. I accidentally lost my grip and hurt the boy. Count Axel, you aren't angry, are you?"
Her words were like a spell breaking. Everyone's faces showed that they had come back to themselves, as if they really had just snapped out of their shock. They looked at one another, exchanging the lingering disbelief of the "shock," and not a single person's expression showed the slightest flaw.
"This..." Axel Full looked at his son on the floor. The fat on his face quivered as he remained too stunned to know what to say.
"Mother, are you all right?" Claude asked the Old Madam.
At his signal, several servants came in and tried to help the Old Madam.
"No need. I'm an old bag of bones. What could possibly be wrong with me?" The Old Madam waved them away.
Axel looked at Dick on the floor again, and his expression gradually darkened. Behind him, several people Benjamin didn't recognize, presumably members of the Fool family, exchanged glances. Their expressions also grew increasingly awkward.
One of them patted Axel on the shoulder and whispered something in his ear.
Axel's brows drew together. He glanced at the Old Madam, who still seemed shaken, hesitated for a moment, then spoke.
"Old Madam, you're putting us in a difficult position."
The Old Madam adjusted her hair and said solemnly, "Don't worry. At my age, how could I possibly put you in a difficult position? I'll give you a satisfactory answer for what happened today. Your child insisted on fairness, didn't he? Then let's prepare another one of these things and let the boy smash me with it. That way, we'll be even, and we won't have to take this to the bishop and let the other nobles laugh at our two families. What do you say?"
Before Axel could respond, Claude was already horrified.
"Mother?"
"This is my business. I'll handle it, so stay out of it." The Old Madam waved Claude down, then looked at Axel and asked with a serious expression, "Do you have any objections to my handling things this way?"
Axel froze, his expression turning confused. He clearly couldn't understand the Old Madam's suggestion.
"This... How could we do such a thing to you, Old Madam? Please don't joke about it."
The Old Madam's expression was righteous. "How can we not? Didn't your child want revenge so badly? For the sake of noble honor, you can't go back on your word. Benjamin accidentally hurt this boy earlier, so it should be handled this way. Since I accidentally hurt him, it should be the same. Go on, smash me with that thing. To earn your forgiveness, I absolutely won't go back on my word."
The Old Madam's solemn tone startled Axel. He sensed that something was wrong, but the inexplicable pressure that had suddenly emanated from her left him no time to think. He could only answer instinctively.
"No, how could we possibly do that? It was an accident. We forgive you."
At that, the Old Madam looked surprised. She glanced at the unconscious Dick, raised an eyebrow meaningfully, and rolled her eyes. Then she looked back at Axel and said, "The Count's generosity is truly admirable. Then, on behalf of myself and my grandson Benjamin, I thank you for your generous forgiveness." Before anyone could react, she turned to the servants by the door and ordered, "All right, it's finally over. The Fool family's guests are leaving, so hurry up and see them out."
After giving those orders, she immediately turned back around, moving with a nimbleness that hardly seemed fitting for someone nearly seventy. Before Axel could object, she continued speaking to the Fool family, using an "amiable" air to cut off the words that had just reached his lips.
"I'd like to keep you as guests longer, but the Count is so busy. Today's matter has been settled so perfectly, your grievances have been resolved, and everyone is happy. I won't keep you."
She paused briefly, then a kind smile appeared on her deeply wrinkled face.
"Count Axel, take care on the road. I wish you a pleasant life."
Count Axel was completely baffled.
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