Liars, Cats, and Koalas

The rooftop.

Tony sat on the ground, bored out of his mind.

Less than a hundred yards in front of him, a man-versus-machine battle was unfolding.

More accurately, it was a human—questionable—playing with a mech one-sidedly.

"This is precious video footage of early humans taming wild mechs, Tony! Did you record it?!"

Leon shouted, and Tony could only humor him.

He casually yanked down a rooftop security camera, cleaned up the exposed wires, and closed one eye. "Recording, recording! Got it all! Watch your back!"

Huh?

Leon, who had been standing there with his hands on his hips, turned around.

"I'm going to... kill you! You bastard!"

Piloting the Iron Monger, Obadiah furiously brought down a pair of iron fists!

Just one step away, just one step!

Just that final little step, and he could have killed Tony and fled with his money. With that money, he could have lived well anywhere.

Sadly, all of it had been ruined by... a cat?!

"You meddlesome bastard! Why are you stopping me?!"

Uh...

"Maybe because I'm a meddlesome bastard?"

Leon leaped backward, dodging the Iron Monger's powerful but painfully slow attack. Looking leisurely puzzled, he said with blatant sarcasm, "Maybe because I'm a meddlesome bastard?"

That one sentence nearly choked the panting old man to death.

How could there be someone this irritating in the world?!

"F***! S*****! D****!"

Old Obadiah burst into curses.

"Say something, will you? I remember you not being this kind of person!"

Behind them, Tony Stark, free of pressure or fear for his life, had already shifted to lying on his side.

After resting his mouth for a while, he started spewing venom too.

Dodging another Iron Monger attack, Leon still had time to turn and reply to Tony. "If someone curses at you while you're on the first floor, you hear it and get angry. When you're on the tenth floor and they're still cursing at you from the first floor, you can't hear them clearly. You might even think they're praising you, and feel great! When you're on the hundredth floor and they're still cursing, you look around and can't even see them anymore. Everywhere you look is scenery."

Floating in the air, Leon's coat fluttered in the evening breeze as he straightened his hat. "Sometimes, when someone attacks another person, it's precisely because that person is too outstanding. And if you feel pained and angered by it, that only means your perspective isn't broad enough."

Leon lightly raised his chin like a master. "Broaden your horizons, broaden your heart, broaden your perspective, and your life will become more wonderful!"

Raising one arm high, Leon shouted, "I slap everyone who curses at me! When I really get serious someday, ripping their heads off will be nothing, won't it?"

"Applause, please!"

At that moment, Leon was a master!

At first, Tony thought what Leon said made a lot of sense. He had assumed this was the kind of magnanimity a magical creature with immense power ought to possess!

But as he listened further...

Sure enough, expecting a cat to say anything proper and human was unrealistic!

"Mr. Cat, I have a different opinion!"

Tony said, "If you curse at him while he's on the first floor, he'll hear you and get angry. If he goes up to the tenth floor, I can build you a huge loudspeaker. You curse at him, and he'll still get angry. If he goes up to the hundredth floor, I can build you a phone. You curse at him, and he'll still get angry."

"Even if he goes to the moon! I can build a spaceship to send you there so you can curse at him face-to-face! I guarantee he'll hear you even more clearly than on the first floor!"

Leon bowed in admiration. "Technology changes lives!"

Tony wagged a finger. "No. Technology can change lives, but it can't change your life. Only money can!"

Ah! Master! I understand now!

Having listened to the whole exchange, Obadiah felt that the two of them were ignoring him, humiliating him!

"Ahhh!!!"

The Iron Monger lunged forward: Merciless Iron Hand!

Leon countered: Quickdraw! The Culling!

The Iron Monger: Charged Strike! Phase Rush!

Leon: Deadly Tempo!

The Iron Monger: Dragon Impact!

Leon: Grandmaster's Might! Marksman's Focus! Energy Discharge! Final Hour! Curtain Call!

The Iron Monger: Wither...

A bullet struck Obadiah in the forehead. This business titan who had spent half his life in glory, this genius mech pilot, had reached the end of his life.

Tony slowly walked over and looked at the elder lying there inside the Iron Monger—his mentor, his close friend... his mortal enemy.

In the end, the countless words in his heart turned into a single sigh.

"Sigh..."

He crouched down and pried from the Iron Monger's chest the battery Obadiah had once pried from his own. Then Tony closed Obadiah's eyes, which had remained open even in death.

Looking at the battery in his hand, Tony's thoughts churned.

It seemed that he had inadvertently created an epic-level product. Tony himself treated it as a battery and an energy source, but Obadiah had seen through the essence of this little thing at a glance.

It was still a weapon.

Tony unconsciously clenched the battery in his hand. He silently made up his mind that this thing absolutely could not fall into the hands of bad people!

He took out the dimmed battery in his chest and replaced it with the one in his hand. Tony stared quietly at the battery, not knowing what he was thinking.

A long while later.

Tony came back to himself. Leon was still standing beside him, his two guns with their infinite ammunition nowhere to be seen. With both hands in his pockets, he idly tapped his foot.

"Mr. Cat."

"Hmm?"

"Aren't you changing back?"

"Huh?"

"Hmm?"

Leon: ...

Tony: ...

Silence. Silence was the Cam River tonight.

"Um..." Leon spoke first. He really couldn't withstand Tony's strange look anymore.

"Actually, you can call me Leon."

"So..."

"That's right." Leon was utterly straightforward. "As you can see! I'm human. One hundred percent human!"

Removing his hat and bowing, Leon's movements flowed perfectly. "Please allow me to offer a belated introduction. I am Leon Collins."

"I'm a druid!"

Silence. Even the summer insects were silent for me.

"Liar."

Tony narrowed his eyes. "I won't believe you anymore. This druid stuff must be fake too!"

Though Leon felt Tony's words were somewhat unfair, he wasn't in a position to explain. After all, he really had tricked Tony again out of habit.

A druid?

He was a druid my ass!

"You're just a liar."

I'm not...

"Maybe you're actually a koala or something."

I'm... not...

"That Robert Downey guy might even be you!"

I! Am! Not!

Come on, man, I really am not!

Leon began explaining, speaking so brilliantly and eloquently that it sounded like scripture. Tony, meanwhile, was all, I'm not listening, I'm not listening, I'm not listening. You're lying, you're lying, you're lying...

While the two were bickering, Pepper came upstairs.

The first thing Leon did was turn back into the Mystic Cat.

Tony looked down at him with disdain, and Mystic Cat Leon returned the look with feline eyes.

"Tony! Tony, are you okay? Ton... Oh! There really is a cat!"

"Yeah~"

Tony said, "There was a koala just now too."

"A koala?"

"Yeah. Maybe I saw wrong. It might have been a panda."

Pepper looked at Tony worriedly.

Oh no, it looked like he'd gotten hit so hard his brain was damaged...

I tipped myself using an alt account...

Hehehe, I'm my own fan now too...

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