Chapter 163

Bai Jingxuan once had a dream.

When she was still young and her family was happy, she dreamed of becoming a music artist.

Although her childhood memories were somewhat hazy, Bai Jingxuan could vaguely recall that she once owned a music box when she was young. It seemed to be a gift from her parents, and whenever she was in pain, the soothing and gentle music from the music box would relieve her suffering.

Although she can only recall fragmented melodies now, it doesn't stop her from having a great fondness for music.

Later, her parents died in an attack by Aberrant Beast, and Bai Jingxuan was sent to an orphanage. The music box from her memory was also lost in the tragedy and never appeared in Bai Jingxuan's life again.

The orphanage wasn't that bad, but it couldn't help her find what she had lost. Even if a caregiver gave her another item based on her description, it was a different thing and no longer had the effect of comforting her pain. Her dream thus became a sealed memory.

Perhaps, it wasn't just a dream. From a point in time that Bai Jingxuan herself didn't even notice, she lost her "desire."

Feelings of joy and anger have lost their bearings, and concepts of good and evil have lost their measure. Not knowing why one is happy or sad, one can only observe people's words and expressions and follow the emotions they reveal.

She was obedient because she resisted nothing; she was quiet because she had no personal needs. Like a doll without independent consciousness, she appeared to imitate the human form, but was internally empty.

Children her age once innocently described her as an "empty shell." Yet, even when called that, Bai Jingxuan remained oblivious to it.

Why was she just an "empty shell"? She didn't understand.

But she truly didn't know what she wanted; her desires were a blank, her emotions a blank. There wasn't even anything that could give her a direction to search for her own existence.

She was like a ship lost at sea, surrounded by a vast ocean, with no discernible difference in any direction. The only difference was that her ship was named "Self," and the surrounding ocean was named "Life."

Do you want money or fame? Do you want to be a doctor or a teacher?

She constantly inquired about and observed other people's dreams. Then she took those dreams and put them on herself. Like a customer trying on clothes in a clothing store, not knowing what she wanted, she tried on every single item in the store, hoping to find the one that suited her best.

This confusion lasted until several months ago, until the orphanage was attacked and Moko appeared before her.

Could becoming a "magical girl" be the path I've been searching for, the dress I've always wanted? Could becoming a magical girl allow me to rediscover the emotions I've forgotten, the desires I've lost?

Bai Jingxuan didn't know the answer.

But whenever she recalls the moment when Sakura saved her, she still feels longing and excitement, as well as gratitude and joy. Those feelings seem so vivid now, allowing her to rediscover the feeling of "being alive" after a long time.

"So, I told myself that I wanted to become a magical girl like Sakura-senpai."

Walking slowly down the streets of Dawnstar District, Bai Jingxuan said softly, "At least I was genuinely moved and grateful for such actions before, and those feelings weren't fake."

"... I see."

Tian Sheng walked beside her, listening solemnly to Bai Jingxuan's story. "Although I still can't recall the details, back then, at the orphanage, that's why you became a magical girl, right?"

"Mm." Bai Jingxuan nodded.

The time was morning, and the location was near the "Lakeside Spring" residential area in Dawnstar District. Three weeks after the Full Moon Festival incident, the Anomaly Countermeasures Bureau approved the Third Squad's request to search the residential area, allowing them to go to "Lakeside Spring" to search for traces of Black Ash Dawn.

On their way to Lakeside Spring, the Third Squad bumped into Bai Jingxuan, who was patrolling there, and then a little tail appeared behind their group.

Team leader Li Yingwei repeatedly tried to persuade her, but to little avail. The other team members also didn't know how to persuade a magical girl, so this troublesome task eventually fell to Tian Sheng.

This put Tian Sheng in a difficult position.

Because he didn't know how to communicate with Bai Jingxuan.

Although he used to be a caregiver at an orphanage and knew Bai Jingxuan, male caregivers ultimately cannot take care of a girl's life in a close manner, so he could not say that he was very familiar with her.

He simply liked Bai Jingxuan because she was well-behaved and sensible, and would chat with her occasionally. However, considering that a child living in an orphanage probably didn't want to talk about the past, their conversations were mostly about mundane, trivial matters of daily life, and they didn't deliberately delve into anything deeper.

If Bai Jingxuan hadn't been so proactive in sharing her past with him, he probably wouldn't know what to say right now.

"But the senior you mentioned, she has... passed away."

He carefully crafted his words, avoiding touching on the other person's sore spot. "Black Ash Dawn is very likely the murderer, which is why you hate them so much and want to capture them, right?"

"It's torture..."

Bai Jingxuan began seriously, but halfway through her sentence, perhaps remembering something, she lowered her gaze and silently changed her words, saying, "I want to punish them."

"You were about to say that word again, weren't you?"

Tian Sheng scratched his head helplessly. "I don't understand, is this also the behavior of 'Sakura-senpai' that you mentioned?"

"No, that's how teachers behave."

Bai Jingxuan raised her hand and clenched her fist. "But the teacher is Sakura-senpai's teammate, and she did it for her senior. I think that's right, that's cool!"

Even if that might be wrong?

"It must be right, right?" Bai Jingxuan tilted her head.

"... That's what she said, Chief."

With a sigh, Tian Sheng took his phone out of his other pocket and held it to his ear. "You heard it too, these are her reasons, I really can't persuade her."

After saying this, he remained silent, listening to the voice on the other end of the phone, nodding occasionally.

Then, he handed the phone to Bai Jingxuan, ignoring her horrified, aggrieved gaze, as if she were looking at a traitor. He looked away, scratched his cheek, and said:

"Xiao Xuan, the director wants you to answer the phone."

Bai Jingxuan had previously seemed fearless and was spouting long-winded remarks, suddenly looked like a schoolchild who had done something wrong, sheepishly taking the phone.

Then, she glanced at Tian Sheng again with a heartbreaking look, as if he were a traitor, before answering the phone:

"Hello, Dad... Uncle."

2k, touching day.

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