Can't Use the Door?

"Chen De, wake up."

Qubi patted Chen De's face with a paw.

There was no response at all.

"A job came in."

Chen De rolled over, pulled the blanket over his head, and showed no sign of waking up.

Qubi tilted its head, considering its options.

Then it leaned close to his ear.

"If you don't get up, your money will grow wings and fly away."

"Where?!"

Chen De sprang upright instantly. His eyes were not even fully open, but he was already sitting ramrod straight.

The entire process took less than 0.3 seconds.

A human spring.

"Finally awake, huh?"

Qubi licked its paw, looking perfectly composed.

Chen De froze for two seconds as awareness gradually returned.

He looked down at himself—still in pajamas, his hair a complete mess, the blanket kicked onto the floor.

Then he looked at Qubi's extremely punchable cat face.

"What's this supposed to mean? You messing with me?"

Chen De glared at Qubi.

"Don't get so worked up."

Qubi flicked its tail.

"Would I lie to you about something like this?"

Still skeptical, Chen De reached for the phone charging beside his bed.

The screen lit up.

1:03 a.m.

Chen De stared at the time for three seconds.

"What kind of Calamity comes out to endanger society this late at night?!"

"More accurately, Calamities have no schedule."

"Well, I do!"

"Your schedule is not part of a Calamity's considerations."

Chen De took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down.

"Where?"

"City Park."

Chen De's expression stiffened.

"City Park?"

"Yes."

"That place is like ten kilometers from my house, isn't it?"

"9.7 kilometers in a straight line."

"You said it was near my house."

"It is near your house."

"Almost ten kilometers in a straight line counts as near?"

"By Calamity distribution density standards, ten kilometers is indeed close."

"Is it reasonable to measure human distance perception by Calamity standards?"

"Yes."

"Not reasonable at all!"

Chen De threw off the blanket and got out of bed.

He grumbled nonstop, but his body was honest.

After all, that was money.

Money that could fly away.

"What level?"

"Lesser Calamity."

Chen De's hand, which was searching for his jacket, paused.

"Lesser Calamity?"

"Mm."

"The ones worth forty thousand each?"

"Forty thousand after platform fees."

"You woke me up in the middle of the night, made me run ten kilometers, and fight a Lesser Calamity worth forty thousand?"

"When you put it that way, it really isn't very cost-effective."

"You're only realizing that now?!"

Qubi scratched its ear with a paw.

"But if you don't go, another magical girl will take this Lesser Calamity job."

Chen De's hand froze as he was putting on his jacket.

"Another magical girl?"

"Mm. Another magical girl is active in this area."

"A newcomer who appeared yesterday."

"If you get there a little later, you might even catch her first battle."

"Then your forty thousand will be hers."

Chen De fell silent for a second.

Then, at a visibly faster speed, he pulled up his jacket zipper.

"Let's go."

"You changed your attitude fast."

"It's forty thousand. If I don't change fast, it'll end up in someone else's pocket."

Chen De pushed open the window.

The frigid pre-dawn wind rushed in, making him shiver.

"Can't we use the door?"

"If you transform and leave through the front door, and the neighbors' cameras catch a girl in a short skirt coming out of your house, what do you think will happen tomorrow?"

Qubi imagined the scene.

"That did sound a little inappropriate."

Chen De decisively climbed out the window.

"Transform."

White light flashed.

One meter seventy-five became one meter fifty.

Short skirt, bow, thigh-high stockings—nothing was missing.

She looked down at herself.

"Every time I see these legs, I want to call the police."

"What would you report? 'Officer, my legs got thinner'?"

"Shut up."

Chen De jumped down from the windowsill.

Third floor.

Before signing the contract, that jump would probably have sent her straight to the hospital.

But now, she landed without a sound, her knees not even bending.

The improvement to her physical abilities was very real.

Even if the price was wearing a skirt.

Qubi lightly leaped onto her shoulder.

"Head east. Run along the main road. You should get there in about seven minutes."

"Ten kilometers in seven minutes?"

"With your current physical abilities, you can reach eighty kilometers per hour at full speed."

"Am I a magical girl or a high-speed train now?"

"You're quieter than a high-speed train when you run."

"That's because high-speed trains don't wear skirts."

Chen De broke into a run.

The instant her toes touched the ground, her entire body shot forward like a streak of white light.

The streetlights lining both sides of the road stretched into trails of light in her vision.

Wind poured into her sleeves, and her skirt flapped wildly.

As she ran, Chen De desperately held down her skirt with one hand.

"Could you stop holding your skirt while you run? It affects your speed."

"Could you design me a pair of pants? It affects my dignity."

"The skirt is standard issue. It can't be changed."

"Then at least put safety shorts under it?"

"There are."

Chen De looked down.

"...Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"You didn't ask."

Chen De felt that this cat would give her heart disease sooner or later.

Seven minutes later.

City Park.

The park at one in the morning was unnervingly quiet.

The streetlights were on, but for some reason, their light always made the place look like a horror movie set.

Tree shadows swayed, rustling whenever the wind blew.

Chen De landed atop a stone pillar at the park entrance, crouching as she looked inside.

"Where is it?"

"Near the artificial lake deeper inside."

"Can you be more specific?"

"Go three hundred meters in, turn left, pass the benches, then walk another hundred meters."

"How do you know this place so well?"

"I caught fish here before."

"You catch fish too?"

"When necessary, I'm a cat."

"That sentence applies to way too many situations."

Chen De jumped down from the pillar and hurried toward the depths of the park.

Her white uniform stood out sharply in the night, though fortunately, there were no humans in the park at one in the morning.

After walking for about two minutes.

She smelled something rotten.

Sweet.

Like the sickeningly sweet smell of fruit after it had gone bad.

"It's there."

Qubi lowered its voice.

Chen De followed its gaze.

On the grass beside the artificial lake, a mass of black mist was slowly squirming.

It was a size bigger than the Lesser Calamity she had seen last time.

About the size of a suitcase.

"This one's bigger than the last one."

"Because it developed for an entire day."

"You deliberately waited until it finished developing before calling me again?"

"The bounty is only paid in full once it has developed."

"Are you a livestock farmer?"

Qubi did not deny it.

Chen De clenched her right hand into a fist.

Light gathered.

A pure-white compact pistol appeared in her palm.

A white short blade materialized in his left hand.

"Same old rules?"

"Same old rules. One shot to break its defense, one slash to finish it."

"I've only fought two of them, and we already have old rules?"

"That just means you picked it up fast."

Chen De stopped wasting words.

With a push from his toes, he shot forward like a bullet.

His right hand pulled the trigger.

The light round struck the center of the black mist with perfect accuracy.

The Lesser Calamity let out a shriek.

The black mist exploded.

Tentacle-like things lashed out in every direction.

Chen De twisted aside, and the blade in his left hand carved a clean arc through the air.

Where the blade's light passed, the Lesser Calamity was neatly sliced apart.

It did not even have time to resist a second time.

The black mist dispersed like smoke.

The air became clean again.

The entire process took less than five seconds.

Chen De put away his weapons and patted the nonexistent dust from his skirt.

"Fifty thousand in the bag."

"Forty thousand."

"I came out this late, and you're still docking my pay?"

"The platform service fee is twenty percent."

"Can we negotiate that rate?"

"No."

Chen De felt that one day, sooner or later, he would end up taking this cat to court.

He was just about to turn around and head home.

Qubi's ears suddenly perked up.

"Wait."

"What now?"

"Someone's coming."

Chen De instinctively darted behind the nearby bushes.

He moved so quickly that Qubi nearly got flung off his shoulder.

Footsteps came from the other side of the park.

They were light, but fast-paced.

Someone was running.

A figure burst out from between the trees and landed where the Lesser Calamity had just vanished.

It was a girl.

She wore a pale blue uniform.

A short skirt. A bow. Knee-high socks.

The standard magical girl outfit.

She held a wand with a blue gemstone set at its tip.

A wand.

A proper, standard-issue magical girl wand.

Chen De lowered his head and looked at the gun and blade in his hands.

Then he looked at her wand.

He suddenly felt like a mercenary who had wandered into a magical world by mistake.

The girl in the blue uniform looked around, her expression shifting from nervousness to confusion.

"Where's the Calamity?"

"I clearly sensed it somewhere nearby..."

She looked around again.

There was nothing.

The lawn was spotless.

Not even a trace of black mist remained.

The girl stood there with a blank look on her face.

The wand in her hand slowly lowered.

"No way, did someone steal it?"

There was a hint of disbelief in her voice.

"I ran for a full fifteen minutes..."

Chen De stayed crouched behind the bushes without moving.

Qubi lay on his shoulder, its tail swaying gently twice.

"This is the newcomer I mentioned."

"I can see that."

"Are you going out to say hello?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I'm holding a gun, and in the middle of the night, I'd be crawling out of some bushes to greet a girl."

"Do you think that sounds normal?"

Qubi thought about it.

"Not particularly normal."

"Exactly. Let's go."

Chen De silently backed away from behind the bushes, made a wide detour, and slipped out through the park's other exit.

The girl's frustrated voice drifted from behind him.

"Who the hell was it... Getting my target snatched on my very first mission..."

Chen De ran out of the park and leaped onto the roof of the nearest apartment building.

The predawn wind swept over him, sending his skirt fluttering up.

He hurriedly pressed it down.

"Qubi."

"Mm?"

"What's the newcomer's background?"

"I don't know. She only signed a contract yesterday."

"Who contracted her?"

"Not me."

"Not you?"

"There are other contractors active in this city."

Chen De frowned.

"Then are the other contractors... cats too?"

"Their forms aren't fixed. Some are cats, some are rabbits, some are hamsters."

"So you're a zoo."

"We are higher-dimensional lifeforms."

"A zoo made up of higher-dimensional lifeforms."

Qubi did not respond to that.

Chen De ran toward home.

The night wind howled into his ears.

"Qubi."

"Mm."

"That newcomer didn't look very strong."

"It's only her first day under contract."

"I fought a Lesser Calamity the moment I signed mine."

"So you're a genius, and she's an ordinary person."

"Are you praising me?"

"I'm stating a fact."

The corner of Chen De's mouth lifted slightly, but he immediately pressed it back down.

"Don't think praising me will make me forget that you docked ten thousand from my pay."

"I never expected it to."

Three minutes later, Chen De climbed through the window back into his room.

He canceled his transformation.

The white light faded, and the one-meter-seventy-five teenage boy stood in his bedroom again.

He glanced at his phone.

1:27 a.m.

From being woken up to completing the mission and getting home, the whole trip had taken less than half an hour.

"Not bad efficiency." Qubi jumped onto the bedside table.

Chen De crawled back under the covers and pulled the blanket up to his chin.

The softness of the new mattress wrapped around his body again.

"Good night."

"Mm."

Five seconds of silence passed.

"Chen De."

"What?"

"That newcomer will probably become your competitor."

"Competing for what?"

"At any given time, the number of Calamities that appear is limited."

"So the more magical girls there are, the less you get."

Chen De opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling.

"You mean someone's going to steal my income?"

"You could put it that way."

Chen De fell silent for three seconds.

Then he turned over.

"Starting tomorrow, I'm going to improve my efficiency."

"You're not afraid of interference anymore?"

"Being short on money is scarier than that."

"Okay."

"The instant a Calamity appears, notify me."

"Okay."

"No one's touching my money."

"Got it."

Qubi's tail swayed.

"Your motivation is absurd, but the result is good."

"Get lost. Let me sleep."