False Kindness

When the dormitory door was rammed open from outside with a creak, Yun Ying was leaning against the bedroom doorframe, the Flame-Reaver Spear planted on the floor, its shaft damp with sweat from her palm.

The footsteps she heard did not have the usual slipping rhythm of sneaker soles. It sounded as if someone had twisted his legs into a knot and could not bend his knees as he shuffled inside—step, drag, step, drag.

She turned around.

The Flame-Reaver Spear nearly slipped from her hand.

Xie Xie stood on the entryway tiles, bleached bright white by the sun, looking like someone had gripped his cheeks and slapped him forty times on each side. His left eye was swollen to a slit, the eyelid puffed up like a little steamed bun, its outer corner tilted upward to reveal a narrow, bright pupil; his right eye, meanwhile, drooped halfway shut, red veins crisscrossing the white beneath the sagging lid, as if it had been beaten flat. There was a full twofold difference in how wide his eyes were open—his left eye round and wide, his right narrowed to a squint—along with a fresh smear of dust across his nose bridge and the uneven corners of his mouth—

Yun Ying choked for half a second before blurting out, "...The left eye peers at Heaven's Gate, the right eye pities all living beings."

Xie Xie pouted, his swollen upper lip flipped outward as though a hornet had kissed it. He mumbled, "I came back after buying them... wanted to hurry, so I used Soul Power to run, but I didn't see the utility pole."

His voice was muffled by his swollen lips, as though he were speaking with a rice dumpling in his mouth.

Yun Ying's spear hit the floor with a clang as she planted it firmly, then she turned to look at Shadow.

Shadow sat on the edge of the sofa, her red eyes curved into crescents. She could not hold it in and snorted with laughter, a flash of teeth showing through the fingers covering her lips. A lock of white fur slipped down beside her ear, and her silver hairpin trembled faintly.

"Big brother ran so fast," Shadow said in a soft voice, her tone rising at the end. "He couldn't even dodge a utility pole. Did the pole strike first?"

Yun Ying shot her a glare. The softness that Shadow's "big sister is a good person" had just soaked into her gaze instantly heated back into flame. "What the hell are you laughing at?" Then she strode out of the bedroom, slung her spear over her shoulder, grabbed Xie Xie's arm with her free hand, and pressed him onto the sofa. "Lie down."

Xie Xie had wanted to stand straight and pull out the tickets to prove that he really had bought them, but Yun Ying's push made his knees buckle. He curled into the corner of the sofa. His hoodie had been neatly folded by Shadow and placed beside the armrest, and his face was so swollen that even his neck looked a size thicker. When he lay down, his chin quivered, like a cat finally set flat after being held by the scruff—except the cat's face was a steamed bun.

Yun Ying brushed her fingers over the storage ring at her waist, flicked her knuckles, and a small iron box dropped into her palm. She flipped open the lid. Inside was a small greenish-brown pill wrapped in wax paper, about the size of her thumb pad, carrying the scent of bitter almonds mixed with fir. It was a healing pill she had extorted from Gu Yue after blocking her outside the dormitory last month. Gu Yue had not even raised her eyelids then, merely tossing the box over and saying, "Dissolve it and apply it externally. Don't eat it." Yun Ying had replied, "Who'd eat your poison pill?" Now, it came in handy.

She went to the kitchen and poured half a cup of warm water. The rim clinked against the glass countertop. She dropped the pill in, but it did not dissolve, only spun at the bottom of the cup. Yun Ying crushed it seven or eight times with the end of a chopstick. The greenish-brown pill cracked open, bitter fumes rising as the water turned murky green. She brought it back and set it in an empty corner of the coffee table, then crouched beside the sofa, holding the cup in her left hand and reaching into it with her right.

Her fingertips touched something soft and fluffy.

Yun Ying lowered her head.

Her fingers had pinched a sterile cotton ball, snow-white and neatly trimmed around the edges, the sort supplied by hospitals. She froze for half a second, instinctively pinched the base of the cotton ball between her thumb and forefinger, lifted it out, wet it with the medicine, and looked down at Xie Xie's face, swollen like a map. She licked her back teeth. "Bear with it. If you dare cry, I'll beat you to death."

Xie Xie wanted to cry but had no tears. His left eye was barely open in a slit, while his right could neither close fully nor open wide. His lips were pursed, and he wanted to say, "Sister Yun Ying, I'm not crying, it hurts," but he could not open his mouth. All he managed was a hiss through his teeth. "...Mm."

Yun Ying dipped the cotton ball in the medicine and pressed it first against the purple swelling on his left cheekbone. The instant the medicine touched his skin, Xie Xie jerked, only for Yun Ying's palm to press down on his forehead. "What are you jumping for? It's not like I stabbed you." Yet she had eased up her strength. Her fingertips rubbed the medicine through the cotton ball, pushing along the swollen line toward the corner of his eye. The irritation made tears well up in the slit of Xie Xie's left eye. He did not dare cry, holding it in until his Adam's apple bobbed violently, while his right hand unconsciously clutched the sofa cover, nails digging into the fabric.

When she reached the dusty mark on his nose bridge, Yun Ying's thumb paused.

—Something was wrong.

When she had reached into the cup just now, she had clearly intended to dip her fingers directly into the medicine and smear it on him. She had planned to handle it roughly anyway, since Xie Xie had thick skin. Her fingertips should have touched the water's surface first, so how had she immediately pinched a cotton ball?

Her storage ring held only a gun cloth, a roll of bandages, two pieces of candy, that pill, and half a stick of chalk she had swiped from a classroom last time. There were no sterile cotton balls. Gu Yue's pill box had not come with any, either. Xie Xie was even less likely to have them; his pockets contained nothing but sweat-soaked tickets and half an eraser.

A single hair on the back of Yun Ying's neck silently stood on end.

She whipped around.

At some point, Shadow had risen from the edge of the sofa. The hem of her cardigan swayed lightly with the motion, her cream-white shirt collar neatly straightened. She stood half a step behind Yun Ying, holding a box of sterile cotton balls—the same kind as the one pinched between Yun Ying's fingers. A blue hospital label was printed on the box, and the edges of its plastic seal were still fresh. Shadow's red eyes curved into crescents, her smile warm.

Shadow spoke softly, her tone lifting slightly at the end. "I put the cotton ball there. Big brother's face is swollen. If you rub medicine on it directly with your fingers, there's dirt beneath your nails. It could get infected."

Yun Ying stared at her.

Shadow raised her other hand, holding a brand-new sterile cotton ball between her fingertips, and offered it beside Yun Ying's shoulder. The cotton ball was snow-white in Shadow's fingers. A strip of pale wrist showed from beneath the sleeve of her cardigan, while her silver hairpin swayed half an inch in the afternoon light.

"Use this one, big sister," Shadow said. "The one from before fell into the cup and got medicine residue on it. It can still be used, but a new one is softer."

Yun Ying's throat bobbed.

That whole sequence just now—pouring the water, reaching in, pinching the cotton ball, telling Xie Xie to bear with it—had passed without a sound or movement from Shadow. Yun Ying herself had not noticed when Shadow had gone to the kitchen and dropped the cotton ball into the cup, nor when she had circled back to stand half a step behind her.

Shadow did not laugh aloud. Her red eyes merely remained curved as she waited.

Three choices spun through Yun Ying's head: throw the cotton ball in her face, bring the Flame-Reaver Spear across and jam it against her collarbone, or take it and keep wiping Xie Xie's face. The first would make it look like Shadow had gotten under her skin. The second might hurt Xie Xie, who was still lying on the sofa, if she really thrust it down. The third... the third meant admitting that Shadow's warm-milk coating had softened her anger by another half degree.

The corner of her eye twitched. The words "Who needs your fake kindness?" circled at the edge of her lips, only to be swallowed back by Xie Xie's sharp intake of breath. A bead of water rolled from the slit of his left eye to his temple. His swollen lips pouted, making him look like a fruit platter that had been beaten up and still did not dare make a sound.

Yun Ying reached out.

Her fingertips took the new cotton ball from Shadow's palm. Shadow's fingertips were faintly cool as they brushed the calluses on Yun Ying's thumb web from wielding her spear. They did not linger. Shadow withdrew her hand and folded it before herself.

Holding the cotton ball, Yun Ying lowered her gaze for a look—snow-white, soft, neatly edged. When she looked up again, Shadow had already retreated to the other side of the sofa, smoothing the spot where she had been sitting. Her red eyes curved as she watched Yun Ying, as if she had merely handed over a tissue.

Yun Ying rolled her eyes so hard inside her head.

She had taken it.