Did You Really Pray the Flying Spaghetti Monster into Existence?

After Zhou Yun tossed the eagle-headed statues that pointed to Tzeentch into the donation box of the War King Temple,

he arrived at the Catholic church. Dinner was being served inside, and five or six children around Diana's age sat obediently on the church benches, waiting for the meal to begin.

Diana was cooking soup beneath a mosaic, Bishop Agrippa was chopping tomatoes, and a strange old man with a soup pot over his head was cooking noodles.

"Making dinner? Mind if I join you?" Zhou Yun walked in with a smile and greeted Bishop Agrippa and Diana.

Diana happily waved when she saw Zhou Yun, while Agrippa frowned slightly.

"Wizard, why are you here today?" Agrippa said. "Tonight is our spaghetti night. If you want to practice wizardry, wait until tomorrow. The children are here, and I'm afraid you'll make something dangerous."

"I'll wait until one in the morning tomorrow, all right?" Zhou Yun walked up to Agrippa, who was chopping tomatoes, swiftly stole a piece from the table before him, and popped it into his mouth.

Mm... sweet and sour, very tasty.

At the same time, Zhou Yun took ten denars from his pocket and placed them on the table. "I'll need to use that room frequently lately. This is the rent."

"Fine. Once the children leave, do whatever you want. As long as you pay." Agrippa's attitude improved somewhat when he saw the money.

What Zhou Yun found a little strange, though, was that Agrippa had not charged him for that piece of tomato.

"So, can I have dinner with you?" Zhou Yun asked again.

Agrippa shrugged and looked toward the strange old man with the soup pot on his head.

"Are you hungry? So long as you are, the noodles I cook are open to you." The plump old man smiled.

"I actually am a little hungry." Zhou Yun held his stomach. "Also, could you be...?"

"I am this generation's First Eater of the Flying Spaghetti Church. You may call me Laganon, wizard friend."

Laganon, the First Eater of the Flying Spaghetti Church...

"First, I'm not a wizard. I'm merely an ordinary grammar teacher. You can call me Zhou Yun."

"Second, I thought this was a Catholic church."

Zhou Yun gestured around the room.

"Zhou Yun..." The First Eater murmured Zhou Yun's name, his expression turning curious. "I see. You are the grammar teacher Zhou Yun who won more than fifty thousand denars in one go at the bathhouse operated by the Semuneta Temple."

"As for why I'm here, haha, I don't care whether anyone believes. I only care whether anyone is going hungry."

Zhou Yun furrowed his brow. He had won quite a bit of money, but fifty thousand denars... in the hands of many Macragge nobles, that was merely the stake for a single wager. How did this First Eater know about him?

He became a little more wary, narrowing his gaze at the First Eater... and saw faint, indistinct noodles winding around him.

What was that? It looked like some kind of Warp entity... No, man, did your Flying Spaghetti Monster actually have a Warp entity? You really prayed it into existence?

Zhou Yun's expression became strange.

"I know of you simply because I have a fairly good relationship with the high priest of the Shattered Lighthouse church. You may not know this, but the Shattered Lighthouse is not particularly popular among Macragge's nobles. They prefer to keep their deposits at the Semuneta Temple, the War King Temple, or the Talasa Pantheon. The Shattered Lighthouse receives only small deposits."

"A fifty-thousand-denar deposit transferred in all at once was enough to draw the attention of Imhotep, our meticulous high priest of the Shattered Lighthouse."

The high priest of the Shattered Lighthouse had noticed him... just because of a deposit? Zhou Yun did not particularly trust the First Eater's explanation.

"Please find a seat first. The noodles I cooked will be ready shortly."

Zhou Yun found a seat in the front row, then turned to look at the children behind him. He took several denars from his pocket and gave one to each child.

The children were initially a little confused, but once they realized the coins were gifts from Zhou Yun, their faces immediately lit up. They thanked him repeatedly, causing Zhou Yun's faith-derived psychic power to rise slightly... Mm, this gratitude provided more than his students' admiration.

Before long, Bishop Agrippa, Diana, and First Eater Laganon brought over plates of spaghetti and vegetable soup, distributing them to Zhou Yun and each of the children.

The noodles were springy, the tomato meat sauce was sweet and sour, and Diana's vegetable soup was good as well.

After taking two bites, Zhou Yun looked at Bishop Agrippa beside him. "These children are?"

"The children of soldiers killed in the last Ilyrium Expedition." Agrippa chewed a few mouthfuls of spaghetti, then glanced at Zhou Yun.

"Didn't they receive substantial compensation?" Zhou Yun raised an eyebrow.

"They also have greedy relatives." Agrippa sneered. "Many greedy and foolish people lack the nerve to rob nobles of their money, yet dare to steal children's compensation."

Oh... the same situation as Tita. If Tita had not had the previous owner of her body, she would probably have been with these children too.

"Lord Conor is a good consul, but he is ultimately only human. He can make Macragge better, but it is difficult for him to make every person better." First Eater Laganon finished his spaghetti at astonishing speed, then looked up at Zhou Yun and Agrippa. "That is why my cooking teaches us to begin by loving those around us, because those who can help them are not rulers, but ourselves."

"Lord Zhou Yun, you must be a good person as well." Laganon looked at the children, who were delighted by their silver coins. "You should also know something about the things in that 'Magnificent Noodle Soup,' so let me offer you some advice. The divinity behind Priest Libo, the 'Lewd Big Pervert,' is even stronger than my cooking."

"If you have recently sensed some malice directed at you, your only hope is to gain the protection of the 'Hot-Blooded Violent Maniac,' the divinity behind the War King Temple, or... seek an opportunity at the Shattered Lighthouse Temple."

"..." Zhou Yun could barely keep his expression under control as he listened to the First Eater.

"Magnificent Noodle Soup" probably referred to the Warp,

and the "Lewd Big Pervert" was most likely Slaanesh,

while the "Hot-Blooded Violent Maniac" should be Khorne.

How had they even come up with these names?

And the Shattered Lighthouse... Zhou Yun wanted Pharos, but he did not have much trust in the divinity within Pharos.

That was a C'tan. According to Zhou Yun's memories from his previous life, the Pharos Lighthouse contained a Supreme C'tan Shard, formed from the convergence of more than ten, perhaps even a hundred, C'tan Shards. Beyond that, eight C'tan Shards of unknown identity were sealed within the Lighthouse. In the worst-case scenario, they were all Supreme C'tan Shards.

If the Necrons had not sealed them away and used them as batteries, those C'tan Shards could have turned the entire Eastern Galaxy upside down.

If he accidentally released them, Zhou Yun could only devoutly convert to Catholicism and pray that some primitive Roman knight with a dead eagle tied to his chest would appear carrying a silver spear.

Zhou Yun ignored Laganon. He closed his eyes and waited until one in the morning, until all the children had left, then stepped into the triangular room deep within the church.