Don't Mess with That Teacher Called Anal Fissure

Akagi Ganglie wanted to throw his weight around on his very first day as a teacher.

He berated the civilian children until they barely dared to breathe.

But when he turned to look the other way, Naruto, Shikamaru, and the other boys were already sprawled across their desks, practically drooling in their sleep.

His face immediately turned green.

Lord Third had personally instructed him to thoroughly instill the Will of Fire in the next generation of the ninja clans.

Yet in the very first lesson, they had treated him like air. The fire in his belly surged higher and higher.

"Naruto Uzumaki! Is this your nest for sleeping?! Get up! Get outside and stand as punishment!"

Akagi Ganglie bellowed at the top of his lungs, pointing toward the door.

He was nothing like Iruka Umino. He was no good teacher who truly cared about his students.

He certainly would not dare raise his voice at some ninja clan young master like Sasuke.

But Naruto was different. An orphan, and the demon fox besides. Just looking at him annoyed Akagi Ganglie. He could use this kid as an example and scare these second-generation ninja brats.

Naruto tilted his head and gave this "Anal Fissure" a glance.

Where had Hiruzen Sarutobi dug up this idiot? A Genin had died during the entrance test just two days ago. Hadn't he heard about that?

Besides, Naruto could not be bothered listening to Third's brainwashing. The textbooks even dared to claim that the Third Hokage was the strongest of all Hokage. What useful crap could he possibly learn in these cultural classes?

The civilian students snickered in schadenfreude, while the rookie twelve watched him leave with envy written all over their faces. Naruto swaggered right out.

Akagi Ganglie was immensely pleased with himself and said to Sasuke and the others below:

"See that?! This is what happens when you don't listen in class!"

Sasuke did not give him even a shred of face and shot back directly:

"Idiot. He's already gone."

Akagi Ganglie was completely dumbfounded.

He scrambled out of the classroom. There was not a soul in the corridor. He hurried to the window and looked outside, only to see Naruto already strolling toward the school gates with both hands in his pockets.

"Stop!!" Akagi Ganglie shouted until his voice cracked.

Naruto answered by raising his right hand over his head and giving him the middle finger.

Akagi Ganglie returned to the classroom with a face as dark as iron.

That damn demon fox!

But the moment he stepped through the classroom door, he froze again.

The only ones left in the classroom were the civilian students sitting ramrod straight.

While he had gone out to chase Naruto, the rookie twelve had all climbed out through the windows and run off...

All color drained from Akagi Ganglie's face.

Holy shit, they had all left...

The next day.

Hiruzen Sarutobi's face was dark enough to drip ink as he stared at the report submitted by the school.

"Which idiot found this guy?! Replace him!"

The words had barely left his mouth before he choked on them. Damn it, it seemed he had been the one who picked him.

Hiruzen Sarutobi took a deep breath and asked the empty room:

"Has Itachi Uchiha started his post already?"

"Yes. Shall I summon him?" A voice suddenly emerged from the air.

Hiruzen Sarutobi paused.

"Bring him here."

After being put through the wringer by that moronic homeroom teacher yesterday,

Naruto could not even be bothered to set foot inside the Ninja Academy. He found a tree at the training grounds and lay down beneath its shade for a nap.

As for pulling pranks to make himself noticed?

Right now, he wished nobody would notice him at all. Two ANBU followed him around like tails wherever he went.

And Hiruzen Sarutobi had also sent Itachi Uchiha to keep an eye on his clansmen, leaving Naruto without even a private moment to train.

With no other choice, he sank his consciousness into the Nine-Tails' sealing space.

A pitch-black passageway and an absurdly huge iron cage.

The Nine-Tails lay inside the seal with its eyes closed, dozing. Sensing Naruto's arrival, it impatiently lifted its eyelids.

"Don't bother trying. With what you can do now, tearing through this much of the seal is already impressive enough."

Kurama said with a yawn.

Naruto plopped down in front of the cage door, his face full of irritation.

"Ah, shit. They kept boasting that Third was the strongest Hokage in history, so why was my cheap old man's sealing technique so damn sturdy?"

This was not the Eight Trigrams Seal created by Kushina Uzumaki.

This was something Minato Namikaze, a civilian ninja with not a trace of Uzumaki blood, had created.

The seal was divided into two opposing Eight Trigrams. The positive half sealed the Nine-Tails Chakra, while the negative half could draw Chakra from the imprisoned Nine-Tails and feed it back to Naruto.

In other words, the Nine-Tails had become Naruto's automatic AFK training cheat.

If Kurama were still the Nine-Tails from the original story, constantly plotting to pick the lock, then such a secure seal would definitely have done Naruto more good than harm.

But the problem was that, relying on his familiarity with the plot, Naruto had long since opened his heart and won the Nine-Tails over.

Those two seals had instead become the greatest obstacle holding back Naruto's surge in power!

Only a completely unsealed Nine-Tails could let its Chakra flow out without harming the Jinchuriki's body.

Forcing open a Two-Tails Tailed Beast Transformation with the tiny amount of Nine-Tails Chakra currently leaking out caused far too much damage to Naruto's body.

The last time he erupted and wiped out those Root ninja, Naruto had come within a hair's breadth of dying completely.

After all, Naruto currently had no real ability to control that violent Nine-Tails Chakra.

Naruto spat at the enormous iron door.

He stood up and formed a massive Rasengan, then slammed it straight into the iron door!

He would grind away the seal with brute force!

Until he obtained the key from the toads of Mount Myoboku, this was the only method Naruto could think of!

With a boom.

The iron door and the Rasengan collided violently.

Cold sweat covered Naruto's forehead. His vision went black, and he immediately passed out.

The Nine-Tails, lying off to the side, watched Naruto disappear and clicked its tongue.

"This kid really is ruthless with himself."

After all, the Naruto here was formed from his spiritual energy. Doing this was like taking a sledgehammer to his own soul.

That pain was nothing like a mere flesh wound.

Naruto had been doing this for more than three whole years.