Secret Bedchamber Arts

Chu Zeming solemnly congratulated Yue Lian.

—He was already tired of the word jealousy.

Xuan Mo had never seen anyone with such absurdly good luck either. Watching Yue Lian surrounded at the center like stars circling the moon, he murmured to Chu Zeming, "Eldest Senior Brother, Little Junior Brother's luck is practically heaven-sent."

Chu Zeming smiled at him. "Yes. Are you jealous?"

Xuan Mo froze, not answering Chu Zeming right away.

"I'm very jealous."

At his side, Chu Zeming said blandly.

Xuan Mo looked up in surprise.

Little Junior Brother was exceedingly handsome, and his talent was exceptional. His fortune could be called unprecedented and unmatched by any to come. Yet he was lazy and indolent, never taking the initiative to cultivate, as though he had been born solely to enjoy life. Even so, the things, qualifications, and fortune others dreamed of were all within his effortless reach.

It was impossible not to be jealous.

But for cultivators, the greatest taboo was jealousy toward one's fellow disciples.

No one dared to speak such words openly.

Yet Eldest Senior Brother had just... said, as lightly as drifting clouds and a gentle breeze, that he was very jealous of Little Junior Brother.

The young man in black robes and ink-dark hair stood quietly to one side and said calmly, "Sometimes, life is simply like this. The things you exhaust every ounce of strength trying to obtain can fall into someone else's hands with ease. But that isn't a reason not to work hard. Life was never fair to begin with. If you truly want something, you must give even more. Jealousy is not necessarily a bad emotion; it can also spur people onward. No matter what, only strive with all your strength, only seek a conscience without shame."

A medley of flavors churned within his heart.

Xuan Mo lowered his head and said nothing more.

Yet this time, Xuan Mo's state of mind had changed.

In the past, whether in books or in the teachings of the elders, he had always been taught to be humble, yielding, friendly, and gentle—to guard against jealousy and anger. But at this moment, he finally understood that jealousy was not an emotion that only made people ugly. It turned out that people... could be openly and honestly jealous.

With a sigh, Chu Zeming gathered his wandering thoughts and was about to tell Xuan Mo not to take his nonsense to heart when he suddenly sensed the aura of the person beside him change.

Turning his head in surprise, he saw Xuan Mo close his eyes and enter a strange state.

Chu Zeming had experienced this state many times, so he naturally knew what was happening.

Xuan Mo had attained enlightenment.

"Senior Brother Xuan Mo has attained enlightenment!"

"Shh, keep it down! Don't disturb him!"

The surrounding junior disciples watched Xuan Mo, their hearts filled with envy.

Too many eye-catching things had happened today. First, Eldest Senior Brother had broken through immediately after his match. Then Little Junior Brother had won without fighting. And now Senior Brother Xuan Mo had attained enlightenment beneath the arena...

When would it be their turn?

Chu Zeming took two small steps back and laid down a barrier to protect Xuan Mo, a trace of gratification appearing on his face.

The person he had taken a liking to truly would not be lacking.

Near the arena, every cultivator stared at where Xuan Mo stood, shock written across their faces.

Whispers rose without end.

"That person is a disciple of the Nine-Clear Haoran Sect?"

"The one in black robes is strong too. Not long ago, he defeated Daoist Whisk with a single sword strike."

"What kind of sect is the Nine-Clear Haoran Sect? Never heard of it."

"He attained enlightenment... Hiss, terrifying indeed. I'm already over ninety, and I've never even felt what enlightenment is like."

"This year's grand competition is going to be quite something..."

Everyone was green with envy, but Yue Lian remained different.

He was surprised too, but only simply surprised.

Envy and jealousy.

Had nothing to do with someone so pure.

Chang Wei was even more delighted.

Lian'er was graceful and elegant, like the most noble and sacred snow lotus, untouched by any worldly disturbance.

After calming his racing heart, Chang Wei approached Yue Lian. Snapping his folding fan shut, he awkwardly struck up a conversation with the one he loved.

"Y-you there. This humble one is Chang Wei... Greetings, greetings."

Yue Lian drew his attention away from Xuan Mo, frowned at Chang Wei, and said, "You're so ugly. Stay farther away from me."

With that, he walked toward his own Eldest Senior Brother.

Chang Wei's cupped hands had yet to lower, and his entire body turned to stone on the spot.

Watching the retreating back of the one he loved, who drifted away from him like a delicate young lady of a wealthy household, his mind endlessly replayed Yue Lian's disgusted words—

You're so ugly. Stay farther away from me.

So ugly. Stay farther away from me.

Ugly. Stay farther away from me.

Farther away.

Thus, that evening, just as Chu Zeming returned to the inn and prepared to rest, he heard Chang Wei's furtive knocking outside again. "Brother Chu, are you there? Brother Chu? Open the door."

Chu Zeming opened the door and saw Chang Wei looking utterly dejected, having changed back into his fur-lined outfit that left his chest bare.

It had to be said, he looked much more pleasing to the eye this way.

After inviting Chang Wei inside, Chu Zeming poured each of them a cup of tea. Then he sat down and asked, "What is it?"

Chang Wei sighed and looked at Chu Zeming before him.

The misty steam from the tea was like a thin veil, obscuring the flamboyant and striking face of the young man in black robes and ink-dark hair, revealing it only faintly.

Looking at Chu Zeming's face, Chang Wei thought again of Yue Lian calling him ugly, and his heart felt even more blocked.

Lowering his head to stir the tea leaves in his cup, Chang Wei muttered, "Brother Chu, is there any way to become better-looking? I want my skin to be fairer, my gaze more alluring, my lips thinner, my nose bridge taller, no scars, and to look... to look about as good as you. If that really isn't possible, being a few degrees less attractive than you would be fine too."

Chu Zeming: "..."

After a long silence, Chu Zeming finally said to Chang Wei, "I'm only a cultivator. I don't know beauty treatments or face-changing."

Chang Wei let out another heavy sigh.

A mighty seven-foot man lay listlessly across the table with vacant eyes, like a sickly old cabbage leaf.

Chu Zeming felt a little sorry for him.

Unfortunately, this was not the modern world. Otherwise, one trip for cosmetic treatment would have settled everything.

Chu Zeming pondered for a long while before saying hesitantly, "Why don't you try bathing in milk? I hear it can whiten the skin. Does your Tian Can Sect have cucumbers? Slice them thin and lay them over your face. When you return, look through more ancient texts and see if there's any method for removing scars."

Leaning closer to Chang Wei's face, Chu Zeming examined his skin.

Years of sun and rain had made his pores rather large as well. It seemed like he ought to exfoliate.

Zeming pondered for a moment, then said gravely, "You need to scrub your face more and rub off all the dead skin. These little secret remedies are the crowning knowledge of my lifetime. I'm passing them all on to you now."

Chang Wei's eyes lit up. He took out his secret handbook on love and pursuing a wife to record the beauty remedies, then raised his head and solemnly told Chu Zeming, "Thank you, Brother Chu. You're truly a good person. If my fate with Lian'er comes to fruition, I will definitely invite you to drink at our wedding feast."

Chu Zeming waved a hand. "A small matter. You were willing to let me win this match; I ought to be the one thanking you."

Chang Wei gazed out the window, imagining that he had obtained Chu Zeming's secret formulas and become as handsome as him. A sweet smile unconsciously appeared on his face as he softly said, "No, it's a great matter. There are many secret treasures, but love comes only once. Once it is gone, it is truly gone."

Putting away his little booklet, Chang Wei bid farewell once more.

Watching Chang Wei's departing back, Chu Zeming could not help but sigh inwardly—

Pursuing someone was truly difficult.

Pursuing the Great Dao was easier. At least it did not require beauty care and skincare.

After Chang Wei left, Chu Zeming lifted the hem of his robes and got onto the bed, preparing to meditate and regulate his breathing to consolidate his realm.

Before he could close his eyes, another knock sounded at the door.

Chu Zeming thought it was Chang Wei, but when he opened the door, he found no one outside.

Lowering his head, he saw an exquisite and beautiful box at his feet.

The box was finely carved and even embedded with spirit stones. At a glance, one could tell it was no ordinary item.

Who had placed this here?

There was no one around. Was it something sent to him?

Chu Zeming stared at the box hesitantly for a while. After probing it with his divine sense and confirming there was no danger, he finally picked it up.

Returning to the room, Chu Zeming opened the box. The first thing he saw was a handkerchief with exquisite embroidery.

Chu Zeming frowned and took out the handkerchief. Beneath it lay hairpins, jewels, and other accessories—flashy but impractical. Chu Zeming was not very interested and was about to close the brocade box when his gaze unexpectedly fell to its bottom. Buried beneath many expensive jewels and ornaments was an old book tinged yellow with age.

Four words were written on the title page: What... Secret Arts?

Chu Zeming's first thought was that it was an unparalleled cultivation manual.

This book was ancient. Simply looking at it, he could sense the archaic aura and intense spiritual fluctuations emanating from it.

Chu Zeming's expression gradually turned solemn. He first washed his hands, then carefully took out the ancient book.

Sitting upright with great seriousness, Chu Zeming slowly turned to the first page—

There were no illustrations on the first page, only a lengthy introduction.

Chu Zeming barely recognized a few characters, then relied on his own understanding to grasp the general meaning: this secret art was a heaven-grade ancient tome created by an ancient great master. It was extremely formidable, requiring two people to practice together in a secluded place, and was highly beneficial to cultivation.

Chu Zeming turned to the second page. What met his eyes were two men cultivating the secret art.

Chu Zeming did not react immediately. He casually chose one of their poses and tried it slightly. The posture was extremely strange, and Chu Zeming felt that something was wrong. After roughly ten whole seconds, his expression gradually darkened.

Bullshit cultivation secret art!

Fuck.

Who the hell had left a dual cultivation manual for two men at his door!

Chu Zeming clutched the dual cultivation manual, his fingertips trembling with rage.

Why did a straight man like him have to suffer this torment? Not only did he have to act as a strategist for a gay man pursuing another man, and come up with beauty and skincare methods, but now he had to look at this kind of dual cultivation art between men.

At his side, Xiao Hei watched his master's entire transformation from eager excitement to furious rage to utter lifeless despair. It took the initiative to move closer and rubbed against Chu Zeming's hand, whose knuckles had turned white from how tightly he was gripping it.

Chu Zeming picked up Xiao Hei and tucked it into his arms, the grievance in his heart receiving a little comfort.

He was a man as straight as steel.

The will of this gay novel world should not dream of subtly influencing him and slowly bending him.

But... an unparalleled secret art left behind by an ancient great master.

Staring at the ancient book he had crumpled and tossed aside, Chu Zeming experienced for the first time what it felt like to be conflicted to the extreme.

Author's note:

Sigh... See?

Ancient-method doi. A good thing your husband sent you—you'll have use for it later.