Only Today Did I Learn That I Am Myself

Chapter 25: Only Today Did I Learn That I Am Myself

But some people, perversely, did not see it that way.

Yu Chen watched the clerks descend the mountain through the wind and snow, then prepared to shut the door and return inside.

But the instant he turned around, he caught a glimpse from the corner of his eye—the two newly raised graves were flickering with ghostly light.

Yu Chen froze and turned to look.

He saw a phantom clad in prison garb drift out from atop the tavern woman's grave, swaying unsteadily as it floated toward him.

Looking closely, he saw that it was a woman, seductive and graceful, with a soft and charming figure. What a pity that her neck had been sewn back together with needle and thread.

—Wasn't this the tavern woman whose body had been stitched back together after her beheading, then buried just moments ago?

She, too, had an unfulfilled wish!

After Yu Chen returned indoors, the tavern woman's ghost drifted in after him, following at his heels and lingering without dispersing.

When he took out the Scripture of Deliverance, the tavern woman's ghost was drawn inside. A line of smoke-gray words appeared at the beginning of the scripture.

[Ordinary Wish, Ninth Grade]

[This Hatred Cannot Be Dispelled]

[Time Limit: None]

[Reward Upon Completion]

Immediately afterward, the tavern woman's life flashed before his eyes like a revolving lantern.

The tavern woman had been lovely since childhood, and as she grew older, she blossomed into a slender, graceful beauty.

From childhood through adolescence, she had lived amid the praise of neighbors and townsfolk. Once she grew up, all she had to do was stand at the entrance to the tavern without saying a word, and business would improve considerably—many drinkers came solely to exchange a few words with her.

Such treatment, like stars surrounding the moon, naturally made the tavern woman proud and arrogant from a young age. After growing up, she believed she was destined to marry into one of Skybridge's wealthy households.

But she had not expected that although Weishui was not large, it still valued a match of equal social standing.

Those flirtatious young gentlemen whispered honeyed words when they played along with her, but once dawn came and they pulled up their trousers, they never uttered another word about marriage.

Later, when the tavern woman reached marrying age, she encountered Jiang Sanyu's fervent pursuit. Since Jiang Sanyu had some money as well, she married him.

But even so, she did not love Jiang Sanyu, who reeked of the kitchen. What she loved was gold, silver, jewels, and handsome young masters who recited poetry and composed verses, free and unrestrained.

And so, as though it were a doomed and sinful fate.

That exceptionally handsome libertine appeared before the tavern woman, and she fell for him at once.

From then on, they turned clouds and overturned rain, their love deep and sincere.

But good times did not last. One time, Jiang Sanyu had an upset stomach and returned home early, exposing the affair.

Although Jiang Sanyu forgave her and promised not to spread the matter around.

How could the tavern woman, having found her "true love," possibly cut things off cleanly with that libertine?

And who could guarantee that Jiang Sanyu would truly keep the matter sealed behind his lips?

In short, after one tryst amid Mount Wu's clouds and rain, the adulterous pair devised a plan.

—Murder!

They bought knockout drugs from the medicine seller in the south of the city, prepared a handcart, scouted out a place to dump the corpse... Then, on a moonless night, under the pretext of apologizing, the tavern woman personally prepared a table full of dishes. She poured Jiang Sanyu wine, ladled him soup, and dressed in a way that half-concealed her face behind a pipa, alluring and seductive.

Jiang Sanyu was instantly overjoyed, never imagining that this would be his final meal.

What came afterward followed as naturally as water flowing downhill.

Taking advantage of the night, the two loaded Jiang Sanyu, who slept like a dead pig, onto the handcart, pushed him to the banks of the Weishui River, and threw him in.

Everything was settled.

The pair even thought they had carried it out flawlessly. They had not even disposed of the bowls on the table or the knockout drugs under the bed before joining one another again in Mount Wu's clouds and rain.

Who would have thought that after the clouds and rain, Constable Lin Yi would push open the door and take the muddleheaded pair away together?

What followed was simple: interrogation, court, conviction, execution. Heads fell, and the dust settled.

But before she died, the tavern woman... gave rise to resentment.

—Toward Constable Lin Yi!

If not for him, Jiang Sanyu's corpse would never have been found, much less would anyone have been arrested and convicted.

It was him!

It was him who sent her and her lover to the execution block!

It was him who ruined both her and her lover's lives!

Hatred!

Resentment!

Unwillingness!

In the moment before her head fell, a hundred emotions tangled in the tavern woman's heart, transforming into an unfulfilled wish. She died with her eyes unclosed!

Only then, after she was buried, did that unfulfilled wish remain.

And now, Yu Chen understood what these so-called wishes meant.

—Revenge!

The tavern woman wanted revenge against Constable Lin Yi, revenge against the Dream-Sleeping Constable who had caused both her and her lover's heads to fall!

She wanted him dead!

The revolving lantern ended.

Yu Chen felt utterly... speechless.

Within the tavern woman's revolving lantern were anger, resentment, unwillingness, her entire life, her lover, Constable Lin Yi, even that burly executioner.

Only Jiang Sanyu had barely any part in it.

Who was that cook?

Never heard of him?

The tavern woman had not the slightest awareness of why she had been beheaded—not because of Constable Lin Yi, nor because of the executioner's swift blade, but because she and that libertine had murdered someone and taken a life!

A murderer ought to pay with their life!

Not to mention that the one they had killed was her husband, who had loved her deeply!

Yu Chen went back and reread the tavern woman's revolving lantern several times, yet he could not find even a trace of remorse within it!

Looking at the ghostly figure by the Yellow Springs River in the Scripture of Deliverance, Yu Chen could not help but sigh.

The mouth of a green bamboo snake, the sting atop a hornet's tail—neither is truly venomous; the most poisonous thing is a woman's heart!

Such an extreme saying was truly incomparably fitting for this tavern woman!

After pondering for a moment, Yu Chen looked again at the wish written in the Scripture of Deliverance: [This Hatred Cannot Be Dispelled].

Put plainly, the tavern woman's wish was to make Constable Lin Yi die.

This was not difficult for Yu Chen.

—When he had gone down the mountain earlier to gather information, Yu Chen had seen the Dream-Sleeping Constable from afar. With a glance from his Heavenly Eye, he could tell that Lin Yi had martial training, but that was all.

He had not even entered the Innate Realm, and was not nearly as formidable as Xie Qing, the leader of the Zhengqing Gang.

If Yu Chen truly wanted to kill him, all he needed was to pick a night when the moon was dark and the wind was high, put on his mask, go to the Clerk Office, find Constable Lin Yi, snap his neck, and drift away.

With his current skills, coupled with the Infernal Ghost Mask concealing his aura, it would be simplicity itself.

Though the death of a constable would likely enrage the authorities, what did that have to do with Yu Chen, a criminal household member who watched graves?

In any case, if he chose to do it, it would be effortless, and few would suspect him.

But the key was that Yu Chen simply did not want to do it.

Aside from the fact that Yu Chen had never personally taken a human life before.

There was another reason: why should he?

The tavern woman had murdered her own husband and showed no repentance.

That constable had acted impartially in accordance with the law. What fault did he have?

But the Scripture of Deliverance did not care about right and wrong, good and evil, in the mortal world. Those smoke-gray words rose and sank uncertainly, as though urging Yu Chen to accept the wish.

Faced with this, the young man fell into a dilemma.

Should he follow the tavern woman's wish and kill Constable Lin Yi, or follow his own heart and leave it alone?

The former would betray his conscience.

The latter, however, left him uncertain of what unforeseeable consequences might come from refusing a wish.

In the past, whenever Yu Chen faced a choice, the experiences of his two lives would generally lead him to different conclusions.

But this time, the conclusions drawn from the understanding of both lives were astonishingly alike.

The experiences of this life told him: the tavern woman had murdered someone and paid with her life. She deserved her punishment and had no one else to blame.

The understanding from his previous life was even more straightforward—She still deserved revenge? Deserved it? Deserved my ass!

Thus, the young gravekeeper opened his eyes.

He looked at the Scripture of Deliverance and firmly shook his head toward the scripture scroll wreathed in golden light.

"This wish destroys heavenly justice and violates human ethics. I will not accept it."

At that moment, the smoke-gray words churned, then vanished like smoke dispersing into clouds.

Then, after letting out a shriek, the sewn-necked female ghost by the Yellow Springs River dissipated amid the boundless dense mist, carrying all her unwillingness and resentment with her, without leaving behind the slightest trace.

Fortunately, Yu Chen had refused the wish, and the Scripture of Deliverance imposed no punishment or anything of the sort.

Of course, the benefits of the tavern woman's ninth-grade wish were naturally gone as well.

Yet Yu Chen's heart felt thoroughly clear, his thoughts unimpeded, and his spirit refreshed!

Ever since obtaining the Scripture of Deliverance, Yu Chen had often wondered whether he was using the scripture to fulfill the wishes of the dead, or whether the scripture was using him to deliver those lingering souls.

Only now, after refusing a dead person's wish for the first time, did he finally distinguish primary from secondary between himself and the scripture.

He was primary. The scripture was secondary.

He used the Scripture of Deliverance to deliver the dead.

But if he was unwilling, he could choose not to deliver them.

He was Yu Chen, the gravekeeper of Qingfeng Mausoleum, a criminal household member of Weishui whose parents had been beheaded. He was not a tool or puppet of the Scripture of Deliverance.

Wind and snow lashed at him. Holding the scripture, the young man finally learned today that he was himself.

(End of Chapter)