I Got Isekaied or Did I Just Nudist-Teleport?

(Brain deposit here—retrieve after reading!)

(Foster fathers and mothers, Yanzhu, Yifei, please give me good reviews and beg for updates—beg for everything—this kid bows in gratitude!)

Where... is this?

Chen Tian propped himself up, and when he adjusted to the light and opened his eyes again, he froze completely.

A boundless expanse of Gobi Desert, and in the distance, a few military Humvees that had turned charred black were still smoking, with the corpses of several U.S. soldiers scattered all around.

Chen Tian hurriedly snapped out of his daze, frantically patting and checking his own condition.

He found that he was still wearing the wrinkled blue-striped shirt and black suit trousers he had worn in the subway, except they were now stained with sand and dirt.

Yet the computer bag that should have been gripped in his right hand and the phone in his pocket had both vanished without a trace.

I... did I isekai?

Chen Tian's head was full of question marks. He remembered he should have been on his way to work when, trying to save a child who accidentally ran onto the road, he got drop-kicked into the air by Truck-kun. He lowered his head to ponder the entire process.

Yet his memory held only a few blurry fragments.

"I thought it was a speed bump." "Because we're all working hard."

Chen Tian shook his head with a sneer. He really had no idea where an antisocial otaku like him had found the courage back then. Whatever, at least he was still alive right now, and it seemed he had been transported to some desert? Chen Tian raised his head, intending to search for an eye-catching landmark.

The sunlight was suddenly blocked. Chen Tian turned his head in confusion—a terrorist with a full face of whiskers and a red checkered headscarf was standing right behind him, flashing a mouthful of yellow teeth.

"Hello, American pig." The opponent spoke in broken English, then raised the butt of an AK-47.

Bang!

Chen Tian's vision went black, and he lost consciousness once more.

"Clang—clang—"

A rhythmic metallic clanging dragged Chen Tian back from the darkness. He blinked, his vision fuzzily focusing on the low stone cave ceiling. The humid air was thick with the scent of rust and sweat.

"Yo, our sleeping beauty is finally awake." A teasing male voice rang out.

Chen Tian turned his head, seeing a man in a white tank top, covered in grease, hammering away at a piece of glowing red metal in front of an anvil. That man had his back turned to him, with well-defined muscle lines and precise, powerful movements.

"Tony, don't do that. He looks badly hurt," said another gentle voice. Only then did Chen Tian notice that in the corner sat a middle-aged man wearing round glasses and a worn-out suit, typing away on an old laptop.

Tony? The bespectacled man? A cave? Blacksmithing?

Chen Tian's brain was suddenly struck as if by lightning—this scene was far too familiar! The opening of Iron Man 1!

"Tony Stark?" Chen Tian blurted out.

The metal-working man's movements paused, and he slowly turned around.

Chen Tian froze once again. Wasn't this face Robert Downey Jr.?

"Whoa, has my reputation already spread to Dragon Country?" Tony raised an eyebrow, wiping his face with a grease-stained hand. "Though you don't look much like a fan of mine."

Chen Tian's jaw dropped, momentarily unsure whether to be shocked that he had transmigrated into the Marvel Universe or to complain that Tony's level of narcissism was exactly the same as in the movie.

"My name is Yinsen, I'm a doctor." The bespectacled man walked over to check Chen Tian's injuries. "You took a heavy blow to the head and need rest."

"Wait, where is this? What year is it?" Chen Tian asked anxiously.

"Some damn cave in Afghanistan, some month in 2008. I've been here..." Tony halted his movements, turning his gaze toward the tally marks carved into the cave wall. "Thirty days!" At this, Tony suddenly grabbed his head with both hands.

"Damn it! I haven't had a cheeseburger in thirty days!"

Tony threw a brief tantrum before resuming his metal-pounding.

"I have to escape out of here right now! My cheeseburger! When I get out, I'm going to eat two at once!"

After finishing that sentence, Tony remembered something and turned to look at Chen Tian.

"By the way, we've been kidnapped by a bunch of terrorists calling themselves the Ten Rings. They want me to build a missile, and I'm building an escape tool. Welcome to the Hell Club; member benefits include daily beatings and random execution threats."

Chen Tian's brain raced at top speed. According to the movie plot, the first Iron Man suit was about to appear, and then they would escape with Yinsen, except Yinsen would sacrifice himself...

Right! Time travel! I'm a transmigrator! Did that mean I had the standard-issue cheat for transmigrators?

System? System Daddy? System Grandpa?

Chen Tian sat cross-legged in the corner of the cave, closing his eyes as he frantically called out in his mind.

Seeing that Chen Tian seemed none the worse for wear, Yinsen returned to his spot to debug the computer.

Ten minutes passed, and Chen Tian was still calling out to his cheat inside his mind. The only responses he received were the "clang, clang" of Tony hammering metal and the "clack, clack" of Yinsen striking the keyboard.

System Ancestor! I beg you to manifest! Chen Tian was practically on the verge of tears. I don't need some invincible system, just hand over a newbie gift pack!

"Tony, I think his condition is worse than we thought," Yinsen pushed up his glasses and whispered to Stark. "He's muttering to himself in Chinese, and his expression is extremely... rich."

Tony stopped his hammer and observed Chen Tian with keen interest. "Let me guess: PTSD combined with DID?"

"Or a brief psychotic disorder triggered by acute stress," Yinsen professionally added.

Chen Tian was gradually breaking down. Even though he lacked a cheat right now, as long as he didn't sacrifice himself like Yinsen to benefit others, Tony should still be able to drag him out of here.

Yet this happened to be Marvel. Did that mean after getting out, he would go right back to being a wage slave? And then die in a snap of the purple sweet potato's fingers?

Chen Tian's expression was a mix of weeping and laughing. Anyone who didn't know him would definitely have thought he had mental issues.

Oh, and the people who didn't know included Tony and Yinsen.

"Tony, I think he needs a sedative," Yinsen said with concern.

"No, I think what he needs is this." Tony fished a rusted iron can out from under his workbench and poured out the last dregs of murky liquid. "An authentic Afghan specialty, guaranteed to make you forget all your troubles."

Holding the iron can, Tony walked over to Chen Tian and handed it to him.

Startled out of his daze by Tony's action, Chen Tian subconsciously took the can. "Thanks."

Chen Tian brought the can to his lips. A pungent wave of alcohol assaulted his brain, and his face instantly twisted into a mask of agony.

"This... is this booze?"

"We call it 'Cave Happy Water'." Tony flashed a grin. "Drink up, and it's guaranteed to get your brain functioning normally."

Just as Chen Tian was hesitating over whether to drink this "Cave Happy Water", heavy footsteps echoed from the cave entrance.

Three armed terrorists walked in, the leader being none other than the whiskered man from earlier.

"Stark! Where is that damn missile?!" the whiskered man roared furiously at Tony.

"Ah, Abu, my dear taskmaster. The great Tony Stark never works on anyone else's schedule." Tony leisurely crossed his legs.

Abu's face instantly turned ashen, and he abruptly raised his gun butt to smash it into Tony. At that very moment of imminent peril, a cold voice rang out from the cave entrance: "Stop!"

Everyone turned at once. A bald man walked slowly inside, wearing an elaborate white robe that clashed heavily with the dirty, chaotic surroundings.

"Boss..." Abu instantly lowered his gun and respectfully stepped aside.

The bald man ignored him, walking straight up to Tony. "Mr. Stark, my men seem to have been far too lenient with you."

Tony shrugged. "Indeed, they don't even provide cheeseburgers."

The bald man smiled faintly—a smile that sent a chill down Chen Tian's spine. With a gentle wave of his hand, two burly men rushed forward, pinning Yinsen and Chen Tian to the ground.

"What do you think you're doing?" For the first time, Tony's voice lost its mocking tone.

The bald man retrieved a glowing red branding iron from the brazier and said unhurriedly, "I hear... the people of the East have an old saying: 'Kill the chicken to scare the monkey'."

The branding iron hissed in the air, and Chen Tian could feel its radiating heat drawing closer and closer.

Damn it, even though I know I won't die, getting a scar branded on my face means I'll turn into an ugly guy! System! Are you still not going to show up?

Chen Tian still attempted to summon a transmigrator's perks, but there was still zero response.

"Wait!" Tony shouted aloud. The bald man looked toward Tony. Tony took a few deep breaths, his gaze shifting back and forth between the branding iron and Yinsen and Chen Tian.

"I need assistants to help me build that missile," Tony said, staring straight into the bald man's eyes as he spoke.

The bald man tossed the branding iron aside and walked up to Tony, first glancing at the crude reactor on Tony's chest before looking back at him.

"One week. I'll give you one week. If I don't see a missile after a week, the two of you will enjoy the punishment of 'flaying'."

With that, the bald man led his subordinates out of the cave.

Dead silence fell inside the cave. Fine beads of sweat oozed across Yinsen's forehead, and Chen Tian's back was completely soaked. Tony stood in place, his chest heaving violently, clearly shaken by the threat he had just faced.

"Uh... thanks," Chen Tian whispered, his voice still trembling slightly.

Tony turned around, his expression exceptionally grave. "Don't thank me too early. We only have a week." He walked over to the workbench, picked up a few wrinkled blueprints, and said, "I need to redesign the escape plan."

Yinsen wiped the sweat from his forehead and stepped up beside Tony. "We have to speed up our progress."

Chen Tian took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. He walked over to the two of them and looked at the blueprints Tony was sketching—that was undeniably the prototype of the Mark-1 armor!

"I can help," Chen Tian suddenly spoke up. "I'm a programmer. Maybe I can relieve a bit of your programming stress regarding this suit."

Tony raised his head, looking at him skeptically. "A Dragon Country programmer? Don't you guys only write web pages and make games?"

"That's a stereotype." Chen Tian shrugged helplessly. To the developed world, the programming skill of Dragon Country programmers in 2008 was still somewhat lagging behind, but he came from 2025! You had to know that the otaku geeks of 2025 could even take the driver programs designed by Tony in Iron Man 1, tweak them, and pitch improvements to prevent the startup speed from being too sluggish at critical moments...

To this, he could only say... Otaku geeks are awesome...

Chen Tian decided to impress Tony with practical action first. He took over Yinsen's spot, brought up the programs related to the battle suit on the computer, and pointed at the screen. "This section can be modified. If..." Recalling the improvement schemes discussed by a blogger and a domestic master he had once seen on foreign websites, Chen Tian tapped a few keys on the keyboard. "...like this, it allows the suit to mobilize much more efficiently upon startup."

Tony's eyebrows shot high up. "Interesting..."

Over the next few hours, the three of them crowded around the workbench in intense discussion.

Chen Tian was astonished to find that the knowledge he had acquired on Earth actually applied completely in this world.

Drawing once more upon the discussions of millions of Marvel fans, he pinpointed several design flaws in Tony's movie design and even proposed improvement solutions.

"Are you sure you're just an ordinary programmer?" Tony narrowed his eyes. "These suggestions... are quite professional."

Chen Tian shrugged. "Hobbyist." He didn't dare mention that he had watched every single Iron Man movie, let alone that he was a hyper-antisocial otaku who loved watching otaku geek research videos.

Late at night, after the guards changed shifts, the three of them finally had a chance to whisper about the escape plan.

"At this rate, we can finish the suit in five days," Tony said in a low voice. "But there's a problem—the power source is only enough for one person."

Chen Tian's heart tightened. This matched the movie plot; Yinsen was going to sacrifice himself...

Yet he didn't blurt it out. He planned to dissuade Yinsen when the time came, or else have Tony build a few extra bombs.

Over the next few days, the three of them worked practically without sleep or rest. Chen Tian was responsible for writing the suit's control system, Tony handled the mechanical structure while occasionally helping Chen Tian refine the program, and Yinsen took care of assembling various components. During this time, the guards came to check on progress multiple times, only to be brushed off by Tony using technical jargon.

On the fifth night, the suit was finally nearing completion. Chen Tian was debugging the final control program when he suddenly heard Tony and Yinsen whispering in an argument.

"No, this plan is too risky!" Yinsen said firmly.

"This is the only way!" Tony argued in a low voice.

Chen Tian quietly approached and heard Tony say, "Listen, I'll charge out in the armor to draw their fire, and you and Chen Tian take the opportunity to escape through the side door."

"What about you?" Yinsen asked anxiously.

"I have the armor to protect me, I'll be fine."

Chen Tian's heart gave a jolt—this was completely different from the movie plot! In the original work, it should have been Tony wearing the armor and taking Yinsen with him to escape, while Yinsen sacrificed himself to buy time.