Because I'm Human

"Yo."

Liu Zheng called out a greeting from afar.

French Plane Tree glanced at him and turned their face away.

"Hey, there's no need to hate me that much, right?"

He spoke helplessly.

"Don't you know what you did? You artifact thief!"

French Plane Tree cursed.

"I traded for it."

Liu Zheng refused to admit it.

"Pah. The values weren't equal at all."

French Plane Tree spat tree sap at him.

"Things are worth more when they're rare. Who else could bring you drinks every day like I do?"

He smiled.

"And who else, like me, neither tricks you nor gets tricked by you?"

"Get lost! I don't want to trade with you today."

French Plane Tree said with pursed lips.

"Really? Fifteen-year Ascension Hair Moss. A whole case of it."

Liu Zheng lifted the box in his hand.

"Fuck! How did you get that?"

French Plane Tree's eyes widened, and even their branches stopped swaying in shock.

"Your brother here made a small fortune yesterday. Nothing worth mentioning."

He said modestly.

French Plane Tree stared at the box of Maotai, their expression shifting constantly.

They definitely wanted the liquor.

But they really couldn't afford it.

A case of fifteen-year Ascension Hair Moss was worth at least one and a half bottles of Vlad III Limited Edition.

Where were they supposed to find another Legendary Deliveryman Persona?

Even if they were willing to sell one, no Legendary Deliveryman would come to buy it.

French Plane Tree still had Perfect-grade items, but all of those were useful. Losing even one would weaken them.

In this world where the strong preyed on the weak, becoming weaker was tantamount to slow suicide.

"I... can't afford it."

After struggling for a long time, they finally spoke with difficulty.

"It's not that expensive. They're all defective goods."

Liu Zheng opened the box and took out a bottle of Maotai for French Plane Tree to inspect.

"Huh?"

De Gaulle looked uncertainly at the stains on the bottle.

They extended a tree root, curled it around the bottle, and opened it to take a sniff.

"It smells like Chaos Club."

"Chaos Club?"

Liu Zheng frowned slightly.

He had heard Cow-Horse mention that place before. It was dangerous enough that even City Hall could do nothing about it.

"That's right. It's the smell of Chaos Club."

French Plane Tree said with certainty.

"Why are you so sure?"

"Because I originally grew at the entrance to Chaos Club. I was only transplanted to this street later."

French Plane Tree replied.

"I see. What kind of place is Chaos Club, exactly?"

Liu Zheng asked curiously.

"It's hard to explain, I can't explain it, and I don't dare explain it. Ask me again when you get an order from there someday."

French Plane Tree was deliberately evasive.

"Hey, I kindly brought you booze, and you're setting a death flag for me? That's inhuman."

The veins at his temples throbbed.

"I'm not human. I'll take the liquor. Let me see what I have to trade for it."

French Plane Tree closed their eyes, their roots continuously churning beneath the black soil.

Although they were defective goods, a whole case of fifteen-year Maotai was still extremely valuable. Finding suitable trade goods would take some effort.

"That can wait. Look at this first."

Liu Zheng set down the black cloth bag and took out what was inside.

"A young female human corpse. That isn't worth much. I have no particular preference for humans."

French Plane Tree opened their eyes, took one look, and said so.

What Liu Zheng had taken from the black cloth bag was the packed box containing the little girl's corpse.

"I'm not trading her. I want to bury her beneath you."

He explained.

"You brat, are you treating me like a cemetery?"

French Plane Tree flew into a rage.

"Does black soil make a place a cemetery? That's color discrimination, you know?"

"Cow-Horse said that if she's buried anywhere else, she'll be dug up and eaten. I thought about it, and your place is the safest."

Liu Zheng said.

"Then you thought for nothing. Just because I don't have a preference for humans doesn't mean I don't eat them. If you weren't so slippery, you'd have become my drinking snack long ago."

French Plane Tree scoffed at his naivety.

"I won't bury her for free. I'll pay a management fee."

Liu Zheng raised a bottle of Maotai and shook it.

"One bottle isn't enough. The black soil preserves corpses. Buried in it, she'd be like bait, constantly drawing scavengers."

French Plane Tree shook their head.

Although they were the boss of this street, there would always be desperate fools starving out of their minds.

They had no intention of asking for trouble.

"Would a whole case be enough?"

"It would, but is that really necessary?"

French Plane Tree asked doubtfully.

"She's already dead. What use does she have for flesh and blood?"

When trees died, some rotted into nutrients, while others were buried deep and became coal. In the end, dust returned to dust and earth to earth.

They had never heard of a tree insisting on turning itself into a specimen.

"Because I'm human. Humans are selfish like that."

Liu Zheng said calmly.

"You won't be human for much longer. Not just your outward appearance—your essence has begun to change as well."

French Plane Tree mocked.

"What happens after one's essence changes?"

He asked.

"I don't know. But based on what I know about Black Goat's Young, you'll probably dig her up and chew her to pieces without hesitation."

French Plane Tree's tone was filled with deep malice.

"Oh? What does that have to do with me now?"

Liu Zheng said indifferently.

Once his essence changed, that would no longer be him.

Besides, once he cleared the dungeon, he would be able to cleanse the Flesh Mutation status.

"Hmph, stubborn human. What's her name?"

French Plane Tree suddenly asked.

"You're asking me?"

"Of course I'm asking her, you self-absorbed idiot human."

Today, they seemed especially displeased with Liu Zheng.

"I really don't know. Why are you asking?"

Liu Zheng looked at them strangely.

"To make a tombstone, obviously. Are you the human here, or am I?"

French Plane Tree rolled their eyes at him and peeled off a piece of bark.

"If you don't know, then I'll write: 'The idiot corpse entrusted to me by a dumbass human.'"

As they spoke, they prepared to carve words into the bark.

"Stop, stop, stop."

Liu Zheng hurriedly stopped them.

If that really got carved on there, the little girl would never be able to hold her head up even in hell.

"Call her Natasha."

He said after looking at the little girl's distinctly East Slavic features.

"What an ugly name."

French Plane Tree disdainfully carved the name into the bark, then scratched out another string of letters beside it.

"Marceau."

"French names are still better."

They said with satisfaction.

"Heh."

Liu Zheng looked at this tree whose surname was De and given name Gaulle, forcibly suppressing the urge to complain.

"Oh, right. Do you eat this?"

He displayed the Garlic Mi-go Brain from the delivery box.

"You even got your hands on the delivery box?"

French Plane Tree was focused on something else entirely.

"I won it last night too."

"Now you only need the hat to complete the set."

They looked utterly envious.

If they could collect the Legendary Deliveryman Set, they would immediately rise several places in the city's collector rankings.

"I have a lead on the hat too."

Liu Zheng said.

Although the demon had wanted nothing more than to eat them alive, it had not defaulted on its debt in the end.

That was naturally because of its excellent reputation, not because Oink had held a butcher's cleaver to its neck.

"Where?"

French Plane Tree asked excitedly.

"It's—" Liu Zheng was about to answer when he suddenly looked into the distance.