Watering Truck

"I came from the mountains, carrying Orchid Grass."

A melodious song drifted over from afar.

The crisp childlike voice carried a faint metallic hiss because of the cheap speakers.

A watering truck painted blue and white slowly drove over, spraying thin streams of water toward both sides of the street.

"You're doomed."

French Plane Tree suddenly said.

"How so?"

"Watering trucks are here to clean dirty things."

It wore a gleeful expression.

"And you're the dirty thing."

"That works out perfectly. I haven't showered in days."

Liu Zheng said.

The rotten plant-like stench on him was growing stronger and stronger. He did not know whether it was because he had not bathed, or because his essence was changing.

"You still want to take a shower?"

French Plane Tree burst into laughter.

A tree root broke through the soil and flung out the corpse of an enormous mole.

The mole traced a long arc through the air and landed right beside the watering truck.

The high-pressure water stream scoured the mole's corpse, instantly washing it down to a skeleton, then grinding even the bones into fragments.

"That sure cleans thoroughly."

Liu Zheng swallowed.

"When it cleans you later, you'll be even cleaner."

French Plane Tree cackled.

"Don't think you can endure it just because you have Flesh Rebirth and the Legendary Disguise. That Astral Mole's hide was far tougher than yours."

"Then why are those trees fine?"

He looked at the dripping-wet trees being sprayed.

"Because they're public property. What are you?"

French Plane Tree said disdainfully.

"I'm a deliveryman for Bloodstained Restaurant."

"That identity won't work on City Hall employees."

French Plane Tree shook its head.

"Then if I can't fight it, I'll hide."

"Hide? Go ahead and try."

Although he knew something was wrong, Liu Zheng still gave it a try.

But after running hard for several minutes, he discovered that the music had instead drawn closer.

The watering truck was already only a few hundred meters away from him.

Strangely, he could not see a driver.

"Don't waste your strength. It's already locked onto you."

French Plane Tree said.

"You might as well let me eat you. For the sake of our business partnership, I can leave you a head."

Its smile was brimming with malice.

"I can hide behind a tree."

Liu Zheng looked toward the nearest roadside tree.

"Useless. Useless."

As if to completely crush his hopes, French Plane Tree threw out another Astral Mole corpse.

This time, it tossed it behind a photinia tree.

Several water streams promptly curved around the trunk and struck the mole, replaying the scene all over again.

"This fucking works too?"

Liu Zheng was speechless.

So it was really not going to obey even a shred of physics, huh?

"How about this? As long as you give me the vest and the delivery box, I can reluctantly save your life."

French Plane Tree said.

Clearly, this was its true goal.

"Then I really must thank you."

Liu Zheng neither agreed nor refused. He merely stood where he was.

French Plane Tree did not urge him either. With death looming over him, he would accept eventually.

The watering truck, endlessly playing "Orchid Grass," came closer and closer until it finally reached Liu Zheng.

Then it stopped.

The spray cannon did not fire a high-pressure water stream. Instead, it shut its valve.

However, French Plane Tree merely sneered.

Because the watering truck was not planning to stop. This was merely the calm before a volcanic eruption.

It secretly heightened its vigilance.

Even for it, protecting Liu Zheng from the watering truck would not be easy.

At least one-third of its bark was certainly not going to survive.

But for the Legendary Deliveryman Set, everything was worth it.

"Still not agreeing, human? Once it sprays, it'll be too late."

As if to confirm French Plane Tree's words, the watering truck's tank gradually swelled, and even the air around its body warped from the intense heat.

Even from far away, Liu Zheng could feel the incoming heat wave.

It was as though the tank held not tap water, but boiling lava.

Facing the impending baptism of hell, he gritted his teeth and strode forward.

"Are you sick?!"

Under French Plane Tree's shocked gaze, Liu Zheng rushed in front of the watering truck and swung his tentacle.

The tentacle, covered in scaly skin, tore through the air with shrill whistles, looking tremendously imposing.

But it knew this was nothing more than an ant trying to topple a tree.

Even with the Legendary Disguise's help, Liu Zheng could at most scratch the watering truck's paint.

"It's over."

French Plane Tree let out a long sigh.

Liu Zheng's death was a small matter. Its legendary collectible would be buried with him as well.

Slap!

With a crisp smack, the tentacle slapped against the driver's window.

A hundred-yuan bill was slapped against the glass as well.

A hand glowing blue appeared out of thin air, passed through the window, took the bill, and vanished.

But the water tank continued expanding, only a little more slowly.

He understood instantly.

One bill after another was slapped out, and the blue hand appeared again and again.

Finally, the water tank shrank back to its original state.

The engine started, and the watering truck continued forward.

The music playing from the speakers switched as well.

"Good luck is coming, our good luck is coming, with good luck we prosper and thrive across the four seas."

"This fucking works too?"

French Plane Tree stared dumbfounded, its mouth wide enough to fit another Legendary Deliveryman inside.

"Watering trucks need fuel too."

Liu Zheng said calmly.

He did not understand this bizarre world, but he understood government employees.

Even if it was a vehicle, it would want premium gasoline, right?

"You got lucky."

French Plane Tree said resentfully.

"I'm off."

Liu Zheng cheerfully prepared to leave.

Although he had spent quite a bit, seeing this tree suffer a setback made the price worthwhile.

"Wait, you still haven't told me the clue about the delivery hat."

French Plane Tree hurriedly called after him.

"What clue?"

Liu Zheng asked in return.

"The clue about the delivery hat."

"What delivery hat?"

"The Legendary Deliveryman's Hat."

"What deliveryman?"

"You brat, you're messing with me."

After a round of futile communication, French Plane Tree's face darkened.

"You don't think you can get this information for free, do you? I spent over a hundred thousand chips to win it."

Liu Zheng looked at it as though it were an idiot.

Even clay figures had some temper, let alone a madman suffering from Irritability.

"How much do you want?"

French Plane Tree asked unhappily.

"Give me whatever you think is appropriate."

He said generously.

He was not expecting to strip any bark from the tree. He only wanted to vent his anger.

"Despicable human."

French Plane Tree muttered as it dug a slip of paper out from beneath the black soil.

Name: Sick Leave Slip

Type: Item

Quality: Fine

Effect: Grants three days of sick leave after use.

Note: The company spent so much money hiring you. Was it to hire you to get sick?

Can be taken out of the instance: No

The palm-sized slip was covered in a string of scribbles resembling ghostly talismans, with a red stamp in the lower-right corner.

Municipal First Hospital Outpatient Department.

"You had something this good? Why didn't you take it out sooner?"

Liu Zheng shouted in surprise and delight.

Three days of sick leave was equivalent to one-fifth of a vacation voucher.

"What business is it of yours? Hurry up and tell me the clue."

French Plane Tree said proudly.

"Fine. The demon boss at the casino said the Legendary Deliveryman's Hat is in the hands of the Wolf Knight at the landfill."

"It's actually there? That'll be troublesome."

French Plane Tree fell into contemplation.